He woke to find an arm draped across him and warm breath on his face. He felt content and at peace. He took a deep contented sigh and cracked open his eyes and found himself looking at McKay. He remembered how McKay had moaned about having to share the bed in the hut the villagers had put them in for the night. He knew Rodney would be having a panic attack if he realised his arm was draped over Sheppard, even if it was in his sleep but he didn't move it, he didn't roll out from under his protective embrace. Sheppard just lay there content, looking over Rodney's sleeping form and it was strange to see the peaceful expression on his face, the light smile playing on his lips. Rodney looked beautiful to him and he knew that he was falling for his best friend but he couldn't stop drinking in this scene, wanting to remember it for later, wanting to think that maybe this is how it could be.
He realised that Rodney was waking up and with no time to move he figured he would go for denial and so closed his eyes and made his breathing rhythmical and waited for Rodney to realise that he was holding Sheppard in his sleep and that Sheppard's arm was draped over him. He waited. He felt the arm jolt and figured it would only be seconds now but the arm stayed.
Rodney woke from a deep and contented sleep to find Sheppard's face close enough to just lean in and finally feel how it would be to feel those soft lips on his, to bring his hand up and run it though his thick hair. He looked at Sheppard's arm draped across him and felt sad that this could never happen with Sheppard aware of his actions, only to aware that Sheppard had draped his arm across him in his sleep with no thought for how perfect it would feel to Rodney. He figured he would not be happy to find Rodney's arm draped across him, but he didn't move it, he just lay there taking in Sheppard's sleeping form, beautiful to him and he realised he was falling for his best friend and couldn't stop drinking in this scene, wanting to remember it for later, wanting to think that maybe this is how it could be.
He realised that Sheppard would probably wake any minute. He wanted to stay here forever and couldn't bring himself to break the magic so he closed his eyes and regulated his breathing and waited, feeling the warmth of Sheppard's body under his embrace.
Sheppard heard Rodney's breathing return to a rhythmical, soothing beat. Why hadn't he moved his arm? His heart beat faster, could it be or was he just reading what he wanted into nothing. He lay there, feeling Rodney's breath on his face, drinking in his essence, feeling his arm across him and he felt his body start to respond. He had to do something. What if? Can I do this, what if I'm wrong can I convince him that I was sleeping? I may never have this chance again. With his heart beating fast and feeling the nerves tighten his stomach he nuzzled into Rodney's neck and held him tighter, laying his lips against his neck as he moved his thigh in against Rodney's. Excitement mingled with the nerves in his stomach and his body was responding to it. He couldn't hold the gasp of contentment escape his lips as he felt Rodney's skin on them.
Rodney froze as Sheppard nuzzled into his neck and he squeezed his eyes shut to try and stop his body from responding. His heart beat faster, he should do something, he should wake him up. Oh god this feels good. As a sigh escaped Sheppard's lips he felt the warm breath travel across his collar bone and he couldn't stop the slight tremor that ran through his body as it betrayed him.
Sheppard felt the tremor run through Rodney's body, he felt him respond against his thigh and he smiled and gave another deep and contented sigh that he released slowly, feeling Rodney's body respond again. There was still the chance he was wrong but now he couldn't stop, he wanted him, now he had to know one way or the other, now he couldn't just walk away and wonder what if.
Rodney felt Sheppard's head raise and he closed his eyes, steadied his breathing, nerves rising exponentially. Then he felt Sheppard's hand caress his neck, he felt light pressure on his lips and then he felt Sheppard's tongue slip inside his lips and he couldn't help but respond, his mind suddenly, gloriously blank as his emotions reacted naturally. Sheppard is kissing me, John's tongue is in my mouth and his body is wrapped around mine.
Sheppard had to know if Rodney was accepting this as well as his body seemed to. He cracked open his eyes to see Rodney's closed. His heart missed a beat, what is he feeling? Then he saw a crack of blue, intense blue and he couldn't stop, he couldn't draw back from it. The eyes opened and he saw a reflection of his own feelings mirrored there, hope and excitement swimming in blue.
They both knew what they were doing as they moved to pleasure each other but it wouldn't have mattered. This wasn't about good sex, this was about completing their understanding of each other. They already accepted each other's character flaws, finished each others thoughts. Either one could hide themselves from the world at moments notice but neither had ever been able to hide from each other, always understanding, always accepting and now this was the only level left to understand. This completed their journey together, joined them to each other on the only level left to explore.
Finally, this is how is could be, this is how it would be. John and Rodney could finally look at each other and show the one thing they had been able to hide from each other.
I want you, I need you….I love you.