Pairing : Doumeki/Watanuki

Rating : T for very very light suggestion. Excuse me for being paranoid.

Disclaimer : Characters based on Clamp's xxxHolic, whom forever will have my gratitude for creating this story.

IT ALL LED TO THIS

As he chopped up the garlic and crushed the ginger, Watanuki ponders. He is certainly the type that goes pondering a lot especially in his early days, and even though he is now calmer and mature, he does not let go of this particular trait of his completely.

He started the stove and mixing all the ingredients into the pan. Sizzling sounds somewhat relaxed him and he decide that whatever it was he was thinking of, it can wait until he finished cooking. Because it was almost time for –

"I'm home," a shuffling noise of the front wooden door reached Watanuki's ears.

- Doumeki to arrive.

"Welcome home, I haven't finished preparing dinner yet so you could take a bath first, okay?" Watanuki shouted from the kitchen. Doumeki didn't answer, and silently walked to his room, preparing for a bath.

Watanuki hurriedly shuffled in the kitchen, he barely started with anything when Doumeki got home and his particular friend is not the type to take a long time in bath, what with him protesting (silently) about green earth and minimizing water usage and all, so he really need to pick up a pace.

But Watanuki was able to make three large bentos when he was in high school, managing his time with his hectic part time work and loads of school work, and that experience was not for nothing. By the time Doumeki finished cleaning himself in the bathroom and sitting patiently by the dining table, Watanuki has finished full grand course dinner for two and taking the tray to the table.

"You could've at least help me setting up the table," Watanuki calmly fumed as he placed the plates and chopsticks. If there is anybody who could fume, calmly, it's a mature Watanuki faced with Doumeki's attitudes.

"Hn," Doumeki stood up and help out Watanuki with the rest of the plates.

Which left Watanuki silent. "You're being agreeable today. Anything I should be worried about?"

"I went to the temple today," he answers with his mouth full munching on that delicious steamed fish.

"You did? How's your family doing?" Watanuki reached to his cup of tea.

"They're fine. I visited the old storeroom and found my great -grandfather's journal."

Watanuki's liquid tea somehow got real hard to swallow,"The first Shizuka on the Doumeki family tree?"

"Yeah, I got to scan some pages and read ones that interest me." Just how does Watanuki cook this asparagus that they can taste this good?

Watanuki didn't say anything and started eating faster, as if he's afraid whatever Doumeki says next would left him flabbergasted and his food would end up to be leftovers and he really hate it if his oh-so-heavenly cooking goes to waste.

Doumeki didn't disappoint.

"The ones that I read have you in it. Pretty interesting what he thought about you, my great-grandfather," he raised his bowl to Watanuki and with that, asking for a second round. He still has some of his ginger pork after all.

"Oh?" Watanuki still trying not to expand this topic further, and gave him his second bowl. Watanuki has finished his own meal and started putting his plates on the tray.

"I think it's pretty much how I think about you too."

At that, Watanuki stopped whatever he was doing, and stared at Doumeki, processing his words.

"Ah. Is it?" His words were not more than a soft whisper, and it was but a mere luck that Doumeki caught what he said. Doumeki finished his last bite and sipped his tea to the last drop in a beat.

"You know what I'm talking about?"

"I have a rough idea, which involves why you are you, and you are here," Watanuki smiled a bit. His mismatched eyes warmed and his expression a bit a mixture of everything while facing Doumeki. Joy. Sad. Thankful. Hope.

Doumeki searched for Watanuki's eyes and face, and came to a conclusion.

"I guess you do then. I do have his soul, even though it's me now," he tried to explain-and fail- because he sounded like he was drunk and what he said doesn't seem to make sense at all, but he knew Watanuki would understand.

Which he did, perfectly. After all, he somehow understands why the first Shizuka and Kohane-chan got married in the first place. They didn't tell him, and he didn't ask, but their feelings reached to him and he accepted it, for as long that they create a warm household and they're happy. And with this thought his smile turned into a burst of laugh.

"Oh wow, that was one of a kind for a confession,"Watanuki holds his stomach tightly because it started to hurt.

"It is pretty funny,"Doumeki smiled his smile at him, and Watanuki felt like giddy and warm and young.

"It is hilarious."

Watanuki slouched and rest his head on the table, trying to calm himself. His shoulders were still shaking slightly, out of breath from laughing too much.

"I won't push it that far though."

And there it was. Doumeki's tone altered a bit from being playful to that. That tone of voice which always make Watanuki shiver whenever he heard them back then. So he raised his head from the table and straightened up. Their eyes were searching for the other.

"Ah, yeah. Sorry about that, I guess."

"Don't apologize, I get it that it's a bit overwhelming."

Watanuki smiled a bit. What he saw from Doumeki's eyes were more than overwhelming. There was passion, anxiety, determination, and hope.

"Thank you then."

"What for?"

"For being you."

Doumeki tilt his head a little. In a calculating manner, he shifted closer to the other boy, figuring what Watanuki's reaction would be.

"That's not something to thank for you know. I am what I am after all."

"For being born."

"Again, wrong reason to thank me. You'd be better off praying to my ancestors' souls for that."

Their distance was by mere centimeters now, Watanuki didn't budge, letting Doumeki invaded his personal place, trying his best not to tense up.

Their nose are touching by now, Doumeki's arms had found their way to the other boy's lower back. The touch was too soft, but it sent a ripple effect on Watanuki's nerves. So he tried to deliver the same feeling to Doumeki by snaking his arm around the taller boy's neck. It didn't disappoint. Doumeki's breath hitched, as if he was trying to suppress a bomb in his body.

"For being here," Watanuki whispered. He tentatively—or what Doumeki would later say, tantalizingly— rubbed Doumeki's neck lightly.

"Correct."

And then it exploded.

.FIN.