Summary: Epicurean pursuit of pleasure. Today if we call someone an "epicure" we'd be suggesting that he made physical pleasure, especially enjoying fine food and wine, his life's passion. What does Epicurean thought have to do with anything? Joshua/Neku AU
Rating: T for (vague) suggestive themes and more mature literature.
Warnings: Possibly out-of-character, shonen-ai, alternate-universe.
Disclaimer: The World Ends With You/It's a Wonderful World belongs to Square Enix, Jupiter, Nintendo, and all other contributors.
Pursuit of Pleasure
Neku never understood why he bothered attending school and going to his classes on a periodic basis. It wasn't as if education was dear to him, though he prided himself in being more intelligent than his peers. In fact, he looked down on society—there were few people he respected. Still, day after day, he found himself trudging along the bustling, ever-crowded streets of Shibuya, until he reached a quieter area where he received his schooling.
The building itself seemed to give off the impression of professionalism, the secluded location merely facilitating to a quieter, more focused atmosphere. The facility appeared elegant from the outside upon first glance, and it was even more impressive upon closer inspection. The walls loomed high above the gates surrounding the campus grounds, which were flushed with developing sprouts amongst larger flourishing trees and blossoming flowers. The academic building was larger than average and, when compared to others, could fit two schools inside. The cement walls were adorned with vast glass windows, tinged as to conceal the students within, while still providing a magnificent view of the city from inside the gates. Onlookers could not dismiss the state of awe as they peered above the extravagant iron bars that protected not only the school, but those who lived within the gates as well. It was without a doubt that such a fine school would have luxurious dormitories for those who were in need of a living quarter during their schooling.
The traditional architecture of the student homes were a starling contrast to the educational facility. There were various traditional buildings that littered the school grounds. The buildings most likely served as a link between modern and traditional culture. They were comfortable too—not simply the furnishing, but the environment. The living quarters were not overly crowded either, for many students did live in the city. It was Shibuya, after all.
Despite the quiet atmosphere, there seemed to always be a number of teens who scampered across the campus at every hour. Every now and then, a boy would trip over his own feet and distraughtly clamber up the steps to the building, books hastily shoved back inside his bookcase.
No matter what the hour, the campus was always lively and full of commotion, reflecting the life and soul of Shibuya.
Each morning, by dawn, the boy who bore tangerine locks—which stood in such a way that one would believe that the young man abused hair gel products—found himself standing between the school gates. Back to the school, the carrot-top's gaze would linger on the cement wall that faced the school entrance in the distance.
Regardless of how often he was greeted with the sight, he gawked as the first morning ray illuminated the sky, bringing the splashes of color to life. Neku didn't believe anything could rival the splendor of the mural that had defaced the wall. The illustrations were vibrant—the flow of movement was strong—telling their own story. One could lose themselves in the world the graffiti worked in tangent to create. Sounds of maniacal laughter would resound through Neku's head, carefree and spirited.
He would stand in that spot as the sun made its journey into the sky, like a fresh start each morning, over the hills and the city's skyline. The schoolyard was still scarce; the city was still waking.
The mural delivered its message with clarity to the boy.
Enjoy the moment with all you've got.
So when the breeze picked up, causing Neku's powder-blue button-up shirt to billow against his skin, the boy's lips would curl into a subtle smile, and he would turn for another school day.
Enjoy the moment with all you've got.
Once again, Neku found himself questing himself as to why he bothered tolerating the low level of intelligence that his peers all seemed to possess. Dull, cerulean irises trained themselves on the instructor, their owner only partially aware of the words spilling out of the professor's mouth as he lectured the class. Neku never bothered answering the prompted questions his instructors would ask the class. He believed that the teacher would know better than to expect answers from his or her students. The class ignored the lectures that would indefinitely improve their test scores. A glance around the room would make it painfully obvious that half the class was oblivious to the teacher, staring distantly out an open window—daydreaming, surely, not that Neku would be found innocent of the act—or scrawling messy notes to one another that was irrelevant to anything being discussed in class. There were, of course, the few exemplary students that sat erect and alert in their seats, fascinated by the topic being addressed. Every once in a while, a student would raise a hand, attempting to ask a clever question, when in actuality they hadn't a clue as to what was being said; Neku would roll his eyes with disinterest, frustrated with his idiotic classmates.
The orange-haired boy would give up, abandoning any thought of being a "good student" for the day. He never caused a ruckus, preferring to remain in solitary as he observed, despite his façade of inattentiveness. It wasn't a crime to prefer to remain silent. Upon reassuring himself, Neku's hand busied itself with a pencil, doodles littering his page of notes.
He mindlessly gazed at his work, exaggerating shapes and accenting lines. Before he knew it, a bell resounded and dismissed him from class. Paper rustled as he hastily closed his notebook, frantically retrieving his things. Mentally cursing, he chided himself for becoming so immersed in his own thoughts. He was running late; he scrambled out of the lecture hall and across campus to his next class.
Day in and day out, Neku tolerated the few people who even bothered trying to speak to him. It was likely that they simply saw him as a student without friends, not someone who isolated himself by choice. Wasn't there a saying that isolation led to strength? There was a small motion as he shook his head. His peers' attempts to converse with him were futile—their efforts were in vain. It was better to make it clear that he held no interest for friendly chit-chat. Neku kept his responses short, succinct, not caring if others found him rude because of his attitude. In fact, it might be more beneficial for him that way.
School days crept by in a blur. There was nothing eventful about his classes; there was never anything meaningful enough to engage him, nor was there anything noticeable enough for him to remember what had occurred—that is not to say his memory was flawed in any way. Neku seemed to be able to humor selective memory. He merely didn't care about his classmates' names enough to listen attentively when someone was introduced to him.
But the young man who currently stood between the doorway seemed different. If it wasn't for the fact that Neku knew the faces of the students that attended the school—even if he didn't know most of their names—he wouldn't have known that the student entering the classroom was new, unfamiliar with the school, based on appearance alone.
The air the newcomer carried was proud, arrogant, almost commanding for attention to be drawn to him, contrasting with his fragile, scrawny stature. The teen's skin was fair, nearly giving him a sickly appearance.
A giggle escaped the said boy's lips, and a pale hand reached up to grab a lock of ecru so light it seemed to give off the illusion of a tint of silver. Slender fingers wound themselves around the strands as he sauntered into the classroom, perfectly tailored uniform—powder blue and midnight—loosely wrapping around lithe limbs.
"Professor, my sincerest apologies for interrupting."
The words seemed to roll of his tongue with practiced ease. His voice was gentle, but his speech already illustrated his authority and intellect.
"Welcome to class, mister…" The teacher adjusted his glasses and glanced at a note to himself that was taped to the desk, clearly checking the identity of the new student. "Yoshiya Kiryuu."
"Please, call me Joshua." A smooth reply.
Joshua, was it? The new boy was definitely interesting. Joshua was an English name, not Japanese. The boy didn't appear to be Japanese either, but his speech was flawless—not a single trace of an accent evident.
The teen, Joshua, turned and took a seat at a desk near the instructor. As Joshua pulled his chair out, Neku realized that the boy had been staring at him. Azure was met with deep violet, irises calculating, seemingly staring through him. Joshua's lips curled upwards into a knowing smile, and then the moment was broken as he sat down.
Neku's eyebrows furrowed as he tore his gaze away from the other.
This boy, Yoshiya Kiryuu—Joshua—knew the red-head was staring, yet he hadn't been bother by it. Simply put, it was puzzling.
Throughout the day, Neku noticed Joshua sitting quietly in the front of his classes, reading. It seemed like he was the type of person who handled others exceptionally, yet he was left alone.
Soon, the days blended into a week, and a week soon became two.
Joshua grew increasingly popular. Female classmates swooned when they spoke to him. He was always polite, entertaining conversations with them before kindly requesting to be left alone—and his requests were always subtle, woven delicately into his responses.
It didn't surprise Neku when Joshua would so eloquently elaborate upon an instructor's explanation or challenge the professors with his own analysis amidst a lecture. Every now and then he would stump the teacher; a small, satisfied smirk would grace his features indiscreetly.
It didn't surprise Neku when Joshua received perfect scores on his exams the next week. The boy was a genius—a prodigious child graced with, by far, superior intellect. That isn't to degrade Neku in any way. The anti-social carrot-top's performance was impressive. His scores, unlike Joshua's, were imperfect; he wanted to avoid the attention that came hand-in-hand with good grades, so he wouldn't study and made sure that he scored lower than the top five of his peers in each course. But, of course, Joshua basked in the attention.
What did surprise Neku was that the ecru-haired completely ignored his presence. Joshua had managed to give Neku absolutely no indication of acknowledging him when the two were in the same vicinity.
But Neku knew—he knew that Joshua observed everything.
A chill ran along his spine as he thought of the possibility of Joshua knowing what was going on in the classroom behind him. It was eerie, but Neku couldn't find it within himself to be too disturbed.
Soon, the weeks became a little over a month, yet cobalt retinas would always find their way to the feminine male who quietly read several impressive books in the corner. His gaze would linger as Joshua seemed to ignore his surroundings in favor or immersing himself in a piece of literature. Neku began to notice little things, such as the way a pale hand would find its way to the slightly silvery locks that framed his face when he withheld information, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. Joshua always spoke with elegance and ease, never caught off guard, and cleverly avoiding comments that were too personal, adding to the overall mystery of the teen. And when Joshua would weave his words so intricately when he spoke, wrapping the person around his finger, Neku would finally turn away.
It disturbed him—the fact that the boy had so effortlessly captured Neku's attention.
Philosophy class—yet another one of Joshua's specialties. But this course seemed to define him; he belonged here, more so than others.
That was the day Neku had been slightly tardy to Philosophy. And it was that day that Neku found himself being observed by Joshua.
The thought of being studied by the prodigy made Neku insecure as he trudged to the teacher's desk, directly in front of the boy that his attention always seemed to be drawn to. The two made eye contact, and Neku was greeted with an unrestricted display of interest. The mysterious smile that lingered on the teen's lips as Neku made his way to an available seat further into the classroom said perfectly well that Joshua knew more about the orange-haired boy than he should have, having never spoken to each other before, sans the occasional mumbled greetings in passing. It was unusual, even for a detached person such as Neku, how little contact the two had.
Something in Joshua's gaze must have sparked something in him, Neku thought. By lunch, he was anxious. He found himself hurriedly making his way to the lone figure on a bench, sheltered by trees from the sun, unsurprisingly reading—in English, nonetheless.
Joshua didn't give the approaching teen any indication as to whether or not he was aware of Neku's presence, his hand buried in his novel, fingers acting as placeholders as his other hand reached to turn the corner of the page. Neku stood before Joshua, watching the latter's irises skirt across the page at an incredible rate.
"Hey." It was a simple greeting—an awkward one at that. Neku was never one for starting conversations.
"I see you have finally decided to approach me, Neku." Joshua's voice was silky, Neku's name rolling off his tongue naturally. "I was beginning to worry that you wished to have nothing to do with me and whether or not I would have to be the one to chide you into a conversation."
But he had, in a way…Hadn't he? For it was him whom Neku would find himself craving for a conversation with.
Joshua's gaze still lay on his reading material. Had Neku been anyone else, he would have felt that the young man was being disrespectful, but Neku wasn't normal, and he knew that he had Joshua's attention. The fact that the other was so observant made him feel a bit uneasy. He didn't know what to say next.
For a moment, the two remained as they were, Neku's lips parting slightly as he struggled to find words. Fortunately for him, Joshua's voice sliced through the awkward silence.
"Epicurean pursuit of pleasure. Today if we call someone an 'epicure' we'd be suggesting that he made physical pleasure, especially enjoying fine food and wine, his life's passion. This understanding of Epicurus is only half right. Born in 341 B.C.E., Epicurus was a Greek philosopher who taught that our highest good was pleasure, sought wisely. The school which he started became, along with Skepticism and Stoicism, one of the three dominant philosophical institutions of Hellenistic thought. Aside from teaching and lecturing, he often wrote letters to his followers. These epistles functioned much like the letters of Paul written to the various New Testament churches. Here is an excerpt of Epicurus' letter to a man named Menoeceus."
What the hell was Joshua going on about?
"'For the end of all our actions is to be free from pain and fear, and, when once we have attained all this, the tempest of the soul is laid; seeing that the living creature has no need to go in search of something that is lacking, nor to look for anything else by which the good of the soul and of the body will be fulfilled. When we are pained because of the absence of pleasure, then, and then only, do we feel the need of pleasure. Wherefore we call pleasure the alpha and omega of a blessed life. Pleasure is our first and kindred good. It is the starting-point of every choice and every aversion, and to it we come back, inasmuch as we make feeling the rule by which to judge of every good thing.'"
Neku didn't dwell on the thought for too long as he listened to Joshua's reading with awe evident in his eyes. He never stumbled during his recitation, and his voice was sultry and gentle. The aforementioned boy demonstrated a manifested mastery of the English language, his pronunciation, enunciation, and accent flawless as he varied his pace and volume, capturing his audience's attention—or in this case, simply Neku's. Still, the antisocial boy found himself wondering why his company was reading to him. Philosophy was an intriguing subject, but Joshua's actions were unusual for the occasion, especially so for a first conversation. Neku reasoned that he would wait for the other to finish, moving to occupy the bench space besides the prodigious teen.
"'And since pleasure is our first and native good, for that reason we do not choose every pleasure whatsoever, but will often pass over many pleasures when a greater annoyance ensues from them. And often we consider pains superior to pleasures when submission to the pains for a long time brings us as a consequence a greater pleasure. While therefore all pleasure, because it is naturally akin to us, is good, not all pleasure should be chosen, just as all pain is an evil and yet not all pain is to be shunned. It is, however, by measuring one against another, and by looking at the conveniences and inconveniences, that all these matters must be judged…'"
The red-head couldn't help but notice the way silvery locks draped around Joshua's face, framing his delicate features and emphasizing them. Neku had the fleeting thought that Joshua was even more attractive up close. He blinked, wondering where that thought had derived from. He wasn't lusting after Joshua. Despite his slight embarrassment from the thought, Neku couldn't bring himself to look away. Joshua's long eyelashes would flutter slightly as his eyes darted across the pages of text. His porcelain skin seemed to be so absolutely pure in the light, almost making him seem surreal.
"'When we say, then, that pleasure is the end and aim, we do not mean the pleasures of the prodigal or the pleasures of sensuality, as we are understood to do by some through ignorance, prejudice, or willful misrepresentation. By pleasure we mean the absence of pain in the body and of trouble in the soul. It is not an unbroken succession of drinking-bouts and of revelry, not sexual lust, not the enjoyment of the fish and other delicacies of a luxurious table, which produce a pleasant life; it is a sober reasoning, searching out the grounds of every choice and avoidance, and banishing those beliefs through which the greatest tumults take possession of the soul. Of all this the beginning and the greatest good is wisdom. Therefore wisdom is a more precious thing even than philosophy; from it spring all the other virtues, for it teaches that we cannot live pleasantly without living wisely, honorably, and justly; nor live wisely, honorably, and justly without living pleasantly. For the virtues have grown into one with a pleasant life, and a pleasant life is inseparable from them.'"
The collar of Joshua's shirt seemed to slide downwards, exposing an expanse of pale, unblemished skin. It was distracting, so much so that Neku barely registered when the other had stopped talking. He almost flinched when he noticed the full weight and pressure of Joshua's cobalt gaze, fighting down a blush. He had just been caught staring, hadn't he? Thankfully, Joshua didn't seem to mind, amusement dancing in his eyes as he pursed his lips, not bothering to reprimand Neku nor comment.
"Neku, do you understand why I'm telling you this?" The way Neku's name seemed to roll off Joshua's tongue was almost suggestive.
Neku swallowed, almost hesitating to answer, not fully trusting his voice. "No…" No one could ever truly understand Joshua's ulterior motives anyways.
"Shame… I thought you were brighter than that, Neku," Joshua drawled. He was teasing the red-head, no doubt. Neku could tell that Joshua was looking forward to being able to give his explanation, as if it was another chance to prove his insight and superiority. "Allow me to explain."
Neku couldn't help but think that Joshua would have continued regardless of whether or not he consented, and he resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Hell, the feminine boy would have followed him, too, if he were to just get up and attempt to walk away before he could explain.
"It's simply, really. Epicurean thought is extremely influential. In fact…" Joshua trailed off, allowing the thought to linger, mischief gleaming in his eyes. "Sanae's art was influenced by the philosopher as well—that is to say, the underground street artist whom you admire to such a fine degree. CAT. I know him personally, you know." By the end of his explanation, Joshua's smirk was daunting, mocking the flabbergasted red-head. It was all Neku could do was try to control his gaping.
Neku sputtered. "You… You know…CAT?" The smug look that Joshua was presenting him was all the answer that he needed.
And the words that escaped Joshua's mouth were lost to him momentarily, his brain trying to wrap around the thought that the other boy knew his idol.
Joshua managed to snap the other's attention back to him.
"Enjoy the moment, isn't that right, Neku?" Joshua giggled—an infuriating giggle that never truly revealed what he was thinking and seemed to be too much at the expense of other's humiliation—and even that sounded nice. Curse the teen for having such a nice voice.
That's right. Epicurius said to indulge in what does not lead to as much pain as other things. Perhaps that was the reason why Neku brought himself to suffer through school.
"Still, I can't agree with Epicurean thought completely. Sanae's work is brilliant, but neither addresses the topic of love—love beyond physical pleasure. Tell me, Neku, do you believe in love at first sight?"
Before the red-head could protest or answer, delicate fingers had found their way to his cheek, a thumb ghosting along the skin that covered Neku's cheekbones. The pale boy smiled as a faint amaranth spread along the red-head's features as Joshua's fingers came in contact with his skin.
Neku felt the head in his face intensify with each passing moment.
"No. Love at first sight is for fairy tales." And he firmly believed that. How could someone truly love at first sight? "I do, however, believe in attraction at first sight, not just lust. What do you think?"
Joshua's fingers caressed Neku's face, and Neku was determined to avoid Joshua's gaze, despite how distracting the other's touch was. The affectionate gesture was unusual; Neku didn't know how to react to the other's close proximity.
"So what is a person to do if he or she sees something—or someone—that they like? You can't gauge how much pain something completely unfamiliar will be. If one knows that something will be a futile attempt to pursue, the question is whether or not one should follow it anyways? Epicurius says that humans should avoid the devastation."
Was it just Neku, or was Joshua closer than he had been a moment ago?
"Yeah, but you don't know how much pleasure it would bring either. Just enjoy the moment and expand your horizons," he muttered, attention divided. He visibly shuddered as the other's fingers came to a rest over his lips, almost teasingly, the contact fleeting and leaving the area tingling.
"Well then. I have a proposal. Will you be willing to share this risk with me? Would you allow me to indulge in my pursuit of pleasure? That way, we can determine what the best course of action and discover if it's truly worth it."
For once, Neku thought he heard Joshua hesitate, almost nervous, but just as quickly as the thought came, it vanished, Joshua's expression that of absolute confidence.
A hand found its way to the back of the fair-haired boy's neck endearingly. Two pairs of cerise lips met for a brief moment, contact chaste; it was just like the first, unsure kiss that teenagers shared—exactly as they were.
Neku felt a deep, strange sort of satisfaction as they parted, hands entwined. It felt right.
He would definitely look forward to school more.
Author's Note: I wrote this a couple of months ago, procrastinating on a creative writing assignment for English class. The philosophical entries sparked a TWEWY muse for me, and I spent my time writing this in class, rather than my English assignment. I hope you enjoyed this, and I would love it if you reviewed. Please notify me if you catch any mistakes-I will fix them immediately.
-Luminescent Ashes