Hello! Welcome to D-Chans and Op-Chans first collaboration together! You could say that we're yaoi-obsessed, judging by our User-name, and we'd say you're totally right. xDIt's Op-Chans first fan fiction, too! D-Chan is my sensei! -bows down to D-Chan-
We hope you enjoy our collab, because..well, every author and author-ess really wants everyone to enjoy their fan fiction. (:
The rhythm of this fanfiction isn't written by D-Chan or Op-Chan chapter by chapter. It's written fully by both of us. We're physic! Ooo! Ahh! No, we use an awesome google tool called Docs and Spreadsheets where (if you have a gmail account) 2 or more people can collab, and it automatically saves it for you when you or the other person types. You can see them typing, and you can work on the fanfic at once. So, one person can beta and the other writes or one can do the into and the other do the final word!!! It's really neat. :D So when one of us has a brain malfunction, or is dozing off, dreaming of yaoi-ness, the other can go right ahead and continue the story. :)

Gahh! I know! I rambled! Please enjoy our fan fic:D

Disclaimer: Mmm'kayyy. So we don't own Naruto, and all characters are from Masashi Kishimoto-sama. I'm sure none of the authors who make fanfictions ever get sued. But, yeah. Now, make sure those sticks are non-throbbing sticks, and enjoy our awesome fanfiction! x3 Okay?

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Not All People on the Internet are Perverts - Except for Kakashi

Chapter One

Naruto stared at the computer screen blankly. He was finally invited to join in the biggest Internet forum, invitation-only, of course, by his friend Sai. If he could call Sai his friend. You see, Sai was perverted. Sai was the kind of person who liked to make witty remarks about a guys best friend. If you know what I mean. Penises seemed to be a certain fixation of his. But, one couldn't blame him. Sai's penis was certainly enviable. Not that he looked or anything! It's just-it's hard to not look while you're in a bath house, right? Right. Now that we've got that covered.

Naruto wasn't going to reject an invitation to this site; it was supposedly the most kick-ass forum around. Customizable logos, profiles, and people were pre-screened so very few people would get on. It was a small basic community. It was known simply as "The Graffiti Wall". Needless to say, parents would continuously wonder about their teens posting at a place called a wall. But, after an interview with Time Magazine, parents generally didn't keep the children away. Now, that's not to say they weren't cautious - some parents forbid even a utterance of their personal lives. That's too bad for them, though. Their teenagers didn't really listen, being teenagers, and rebellious. Some even formed outside relationships with their online buddies. If they lived nearby, not even caring about what might happen, they go and meet them. Although, not all people on the Internet are perverts, some were. And this was a fine-fine line.

This is where Naruto's amazing story on the wall begins. A story of love, compassion, Internet forums, and typing in large green font. Of course, he wouldn't learn this for a while to come. After all, he hadn't even activated the account Sai got him - Small Penis Lover. He prayed to all the gods available at the moment (some had very important phone calls to attend to) that user-names were changeable. But, little did he know that this user-name would be what started him on his journey to begin with.

Enter the Sasuke Uchiha. Sasuke was pissed beyond all belief, for his brother (Itachi) had chosen just this day to use the good computer. So, Sasuke was stuck with slow Internet, and the power to post on "The Wall". He would make it worth his while. Maybe get into his older brother's account? And what to his wandering eyes should appear but the newest user - Small Penis Lover. Perfect, Sasuke thought. Sasuke's mind chuckled in evilness. Oh, how Itachi will love me, he thought with sarcasm. He logged into Itachi's account, You Love My Nails, and saw he had a few unread messages. Now, Sasuke usually wouldn't check his brothers mail, but in this case, (the case where he was perpetually going insane because of the slowness of the Internet) he was in no mood to not fool around with his brothers account.

He opened the first mail that was titled "you know you like it, tachi" and his eyes scanned the long writing that his brother and this... You Love My Fishstick guy wrote. He immediately flung back from the desk and cringed in horror. You don't want to know what these two were talking about. I'm serious. With a name like "You Love My Fishstick" you should already be clued in.

Once he got over the initial shock over his brother and this guy, he decided to never, and I repeat, never look around Itachi's mail again... Ever... So, he decided to fool around in the forum. He used the forum called "The Fresh Paint". A forum he, and most other people, were most familiar with. He thought back to the new user, Small Penis Lover. What could he do so evil that even Itachi would be embarrassed? (And it takes a lot to get Itachi embarrassed, he really has no shame.) Many ideas raced through his head ranging from the practical "hawtt chicks - wanna cyber?" to the lesser-known art of choosing one person and letting them in on the joke, before continuing their evil scheme. Small Penis Lover came to mind. So, Sasuke started up a new thread - "Looking for a Small Penis Lover". The click-clack of the keys as Sasuke typed was followed immediately by a chuckle. The screen read:

"Hey there, sexy. You wanna... do something bad and dirty? -lick- Then come on and message me, you manly stud. Come on - I'll let you in on a special secret. Don't wait on me - I'll be there. -grin-"

Sasuke, satisfied with his work for the moment, sat back and waited for the first reply. Lo and behold, he was confronted with a person named My Penis Is Larger Than Yours. His format of typing read "My large penis says..." and continued with his message. This message simply said that once this guy had an interest in large penis, come talk to him.

The next message posted was from the new guy - the Small Penis Lover. Yes, Sasuke thought. Small Penis Lover's message was a real shocker.

"Look here, bastard! I don't love small penises! I love the vagina, man. Not the penis! And if I did, they would be big! I mean, I'm picky. Y'know what? I'll message you anyways! Just so that I can show you that I so do not love the small penis! Yarg!"

Sasuke leaned back. Things would be interesting with this flamboyantly "straight" moron. He decided to log back onto his own account, The Virginity-Taking Duck Avenger, fearing that any more messing around on Itachi's account would be a straight pathway to death by Itachi's hands. Other users that posted online in "The Wall" usually just called him Avenger, or something that wasn't his whole name. It really was ridiculous, but it was Sasuke's name, and he loved it. But, why 'duck' you ask? Easy. Imagine a duck. Great. Now imagine a duck tail. Now, imagine a black duck's tail. You have the back of Sasuke's head! Really! His hair looks like a tail! Anyways, he put it in his name to amuse others who knew him. He doesn't find it funny himself when people yell out stuff like, "Hey! Sasuke's hair looks like a duck butt!" I mean, jeez, they're only pointing out the obvious.

"Sasuke! I'm off the computer now, if that'll get the stick outta your ass!" He heard Itachi yell from the living room. Good, now I can actually talk to people online without lag, Sasuke thought, lifting himself off the chair with a grunt and heading down to the living room. He was actually so eager to get on the good computer that he dis-regarded the part about Sasuke getting the stick out of his ass. If he actually cared about that remark, he would've tried hard to grab a tree branch from the front yard and jam it up Itachi's butt. (Knowing Itachi, though, he'd probably enjoy it.)

We now join Naruto with his dilemma. Naruto fumed at his user-name. It had already gotten him some unwanted attention. Damn Sai, I'm gonna kill him! he thought to himself, picking up his annoying orange phone that jingled the local ramen shop song and jabbing Sai's home phone number in. The only response from that black-haired mongrel was his answering machine.

"Hello sexy! You've reached Sai! I'm probably home right now, but I'll call you as soon as I'm out!"

"Agggh! Sai, you bastard! You're purposely not answering! Change my user-name! I don't know how! If you don't pick up, I'll shove a stick up your ass!"

Looks like our topics of aggression involves a lot of sticks up asses, and it looks like the only one without a metaphorical stick up his ass was Naruto himself. Unless you call his anger a thorn in his side. Now that you think about it, you could replace 'thorn in his side' with 'stick up his ass' as well. Fancy that!

Since Sai wasn't picking up his phone, Naruto decided to go ahead and message his account (The One That Takes It). Naruto typed the following:

"You bastard! I don't like small cocks! You know that! If I will have anything up my ass, of any sort, it's at least going to be large and throbbing!!! God! You know what else? I don't think you really like it up the ass. I think you like to give it up the ass! But not mine! Because your's isn't that big! And I don't like small things!"

Naruto tends to get over-dramatic, if you can't tell already, and while this took out the stick up Naruto's ass (it just wasn't throbbing), Naruto made one slight mistake when he was sending the message. When clicking on the username button, he didn't click on Sai's name. Oh, no! He clicked on the new friend's name - The Virginity-Taking Duck Avenger. Things were bound to get interesting now.

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Okay! Now if you're cool readers, let's take those non-throbbing sticks out of our asses and review, 'kay? ;D

Also, please read kitsune203's fanfics if you crave more of this writing style! (Or D-chan)