This is what happens when Inkheart becomes a game of Questions Only!

(Night, Mo's house)

Meggie: Oh snap, who's that creeper staring up at our house in the middle of the night while it's pouring rain?

Meggie skips to Mo's room, where he is pretending to read a book but really he's totally falling asleep

Meggie: Mo, who's the stalker outside our house?

Mo: snorts awake Uhm, what stalker?

Meggie: Psh, what do you mean, what stalker?

Mo: I mean...what are you talking about?

Meggie: Were you even listening?

Mo: What if I wasn't?

Meggie: What if I smacked you upside the head with a large-ish dictionary?

Mo: Would it hurt?

Meggie: I dunno, would it?

Mo: Why don't you show me this weirdo?

Meggie: How come he's out there?

Mo: How should I know?

Meggie: Doesn't it creep you out that he's there?

Mo: laughs What were you reading before bed, Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde?

Meggie: Psh, seriously, you know there really is a guy outside my window?

Mo: Has he got a hairy face?

Meggie: glares, tugs Mo to her room SEE?

Mo: Well, whaddya know?

Meggie: Who is it?

Mo: Shouldn't you go to bed while I take care of this visitor that I somehow know has come to see me even though it's dark and rainy out?

Meggie: Why don't you make me?

They go to open the door.

Mo: Dustfinger?

Dustfinger: appears out of darkness dripping wet, wipes his face on his sleeve and offers Mo the same hand Douche who read me out of my book and away from my family who I never really paid attention to anyway?

Mo: Is that necessary?

Dustfinger: checks out Meggie When did this girl I've apparently seen before get boo-I mean..grow up?

Mo: When did your hair get so long?

Dustfinger: Oh yeah, she was three then wasn't she?

Mo: Seriously though, about the hair...isn't it a fire hazard for a FIRE EATER to have LONG HAIR?

Dustfinger: Is it any of your business?

Mo: Meggie, will you go to bed so I can have tea with this guy late at night without telling you why?

Meggie: Still liking that dictionary-upside-the-head business?

Dustfinger: What?

Mo: Can't you just do what I say?

Meggie: doesn't do what he said

Dustfinger: to Mo Can't you tell I'm a suspiciously suspicious character?

Mo: Why are you here?

Dustfinger: Where's the book?

Mo: You know this isn't the movie right?

Dustfinger: Wait, that's not how this goes?

Mo: Aren't you supposed to "warn me" about Capricorn?

Dustfinger: How should I know, do I look like Cornelia Funke?

Mo: What if I said yes?

Dustfinger: How do you feel about hospitalization?

Mo: The Rook Thief doesn't have the book right now, does he?

Dustfinger: If he did, would we be wondering if this is the right script?

Mo: Are you getting tired of this non-stop questioning?

Dustfinger: Psh...is the sky blue?

Mo: How is that related?

Dustfinger: Uhm...how..do...you know...it...um...isn't?

Mo: I take that as a yes?

Dustfinger: Wait what?

Mo: May we move on?

Dustfinger: Uh yeah, did you know Capricorn wants the book and you shouldn't underestimate him?

Mo: Haven't you said this before?

Dustfinger: Isn't it time you went up and randomly touched Meggie's foot to see if she was spying on you cuz she totally was?

Mo: Weren't you going to say something else?

Dustfinger: Wouldn't you cut things short if you didn't have the script to go off of?

Mo: Where is the book?

Dustfinger: The book IN the book, or the real book ABOUT our book?

Mo: Can't you tell I mean The Rook Thief's copy of Cornelia Funke's Inkheart?

Dustfinger: Didn't The Rook Thief lend it to his closest friend?

Mo: Should we wait to finish this until The Rook Thief gets his script back?

Dustfinger: Can I go now?

Mo: Uhm do you have a place to stay?

Dustfinger: Is your daughter really going to like it if I stay here?

Mo: So you're leaving?

Dustfinger: Can we meet tomorrow?

Mo: What time?

Dustfinger: When does Meggie get out of school?

Mo: Shall we meet around one then?

Dustfinger: Is that your answer to my question?

Mo: Can you get out of my hair now?

Dustfinger: poof, is gone

Mo: goes up, checks Meggie's feet Were you eavesdropping?

Meggie: Can't you tell by how cold my feet are?

Mo: How much did you hear?

Meggie: Nothing except who's Capricorn and what book and WHO THE HECK IS THIS ROOK THIEF I KEEP HEARING ABOUT?

Mo: Thought you didn't hear anything?

A/N: Please review, and know that this was only a silly little parody I felt like doing out of the blue. If you'd like me to continue, let me know in your review. Otherwise I think I'm done. I sincerely hope you enjoyed a little of it at least. ~The Rook Thief