"Cordelia... Cordy? Are you even listening to me?" Snapping out of my reverie, I shake my head, "yeah, yeah of course" I say with great effort. Lucie just sighs though, she knows me too well. She stares upon what I was currently looking at and presents me with a sad smile. "I'm sorry" she says, knowing that despite her words, it could do nothing to stop the pounding and torment in my chest. I try to smile, I do, but it does not come naturally. Lucie began to tense, as she recognises how forcefully I willed myself to even smile. I lower my eyelashes, "I'm luckier than he, his heart is broken, mine I hope can still be redeemed." Lucie shakes her head, shaking her chocolate brown hair in the process, "You have to try, at least. Try to talk to him more, don't reveal how you feel just yet, but say something to him. He may seem all high and mighty, but deep down he is just my brother; just James Herondale."
I breath in heavily, "Just James Herondale?" I humourlessly laugh, "As if he is like everyone else in the sea? He... He is nothing like all the others, he is both brave and shy, mysterious and straightforward, vibrant and mellow. He cannot be summed in a paragraph, let alone a whole novel. He is beyond my childish and rather reckless self. He, as much as it pains me to admit it, would suit someone much more like Grace Blackthorn. The same Blackthorn that broke his heart, but someone who is a beautiful as she. Someone who's beauty would challenge James own beauty."
I thump my body on the tree, "I don't know what I'm going to do" I say rather helplessly, twirling my red curls with my fingers. Staring upon James, I had honestly never seen someone so beautiful. He with his jet black hair, straight nose, strong jaw. He with his dark arched eyebrows, generous lips and most of all; his golden amber eyes, that radiated light and yet was filled with shadows. He held such complexity and I could not understand, how although James is Lucie's brother, how she wasn't completely in awe and fascination with him, as I was.
"Cordelia, maybe... maybe just give it time. Eventually he'll get his butt out of his own misery, then you can tell him. Tell him, when he's ready, and that is when you will both be, 's when you could be together. " Lucie says, grabbing my hand, in hers.
I take my hands out of hers, staring at her, as a tear trickles down my cheek, "I have to, tonight. He will not be ready, you're right. But I am now, and I have been in love with James for several years. But I cannot continue on, I have to grow up eventually. I have to do something with my life, I have to get married in the near-future, I can't be constantly thinking about James instead."
Lucie stares at me in shock, "Cordelia" she whispers, just as James emerges. "Are you alright?" He asks me worriedly. I forrow my eyebrows only to remember the tear on my face. I quickly wipe it away. "I'm fine" I say walking away, not bothering with farewells. I hear my name shouted by James, but I continue on, in a faster pace, not before I hear him ask Lucie, "What happened to Cordelia?"