Authors Note: Hello There! This is what I thought the Muckraker would look like, with being under the control of Sue and everything. When there is a new article in the paper, it is underlined (ex. Staff Biography ) As of right now, it is not going to be continued, but I did enjoy writing is, so there is a possibility. Let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, or the Muckraker or anything like that!
THE MUCKRAKER
"If I heard it, it's probably true, or something."
Staff Biography
William Shuester.
Director of New Directions; spanish teacher
Known for abnormally large butt chin and woodland creatures nested in his hair.
Since Mr. Shue didn't want to discuss my (Brittnay Pierce: Journalist) cat, Lord Tubbington, who reads my diary or the fact Mr. Shue wouldn't comment on lace panties, we decided to spend this weeks staff biography addressing rumors.
How many affairs have you had with students?
There's a rumor about that? None!
Was that a bit too defensive? Us at the Muckracker think so! We suspect by none, he means nine.
Are you helping April Rhodes with her new musical?
Yes, I am.
Are you going to leave WMHS to join her on broadway?
Who told you to ask me these questions?
Answering a question with a question isn't a loud Mr. Shue. You basically just told the public you are leaving. We will miss you! I'll take care of your vests when your gone.
What The Public Wants To Know
What midget and frankenteen want to get back together?
Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson of course. They were found at a motel laughing and talking intimately. We thought Finn and Quinn was on their way back to the top, I guess we were sadly mistaken.
What does a text that just says "I can't" mean?
After observing a talk show last week, we heard that a certain latino ex-cheerio, was "playing for the other team", which led to our inference that she's been in the closet. Was she going to come out? Is she in love with Fondue For Two host and Muckraker reporter Brittnay S. Pierce? We will keep you updated.
What local badass and Prom King candidate has turned soft for a wrestler?
None other than Noah Puckerman! Rumor has it that he had been neutered by Lauren Zizes. -But hey! With a name like 'Noah' we saw this coming anyway. Please don't beat me up Puckerman. (Even though I can take a beating from a girl)
What blonde quarterback is having multiply affairs?
We spotted Sam Evans outside a motel room with ex-cheerio Quinn Fabray. Few days later, we saw him come out of the same motel room with Kurt Hummel. What is Sam up too? Looks like drama in Glee club this week!
Break Out The Slushies: This Weeks Glee Club
After much spying, we have found that this weeks Glee club is having a case of the Mac- Fleetwood Mac that is. To find out more about this club we love to hate we got a quote from the Muckracker journalist: Brittnay S. Pierce.
"For Glee this week, we have to sing a song from a album called Rumours. Like everyone's fighting. I hope Santana sings to me because then we can become best friends again and find that pigeon that keeps stealing my jewelry."
There you have it folks! Do with this information as you wish. Did we mention that New Direction's coach William Shuester will soon be leaving? Good luck on Broadway Mr. Shue!
Junior Prom
Your prom queen candidates:
Lucy "Quinn" Fabray (Will the recent discovery of her full name and past looks knock her down from lead? Us at Muckracker aren't aware yet.)
Lauren Zizes (She personally has my vote, and many others due to her and Puckermans's reputations around WMHS. But is Puck losing his bad boy edge? We think so.)
Santana Lopez (Trying to get on top again, Tweedle McFake Boobs?)
And as always you can write in a candidate on your ballot!
Your prom king candidates:
Finn Hudson (Currently working with Quinn Fabray to once again become the power couple of the school. Will it last? Doubt it, rumors say Finn is making his way back to Rachel Berry.)
Noah Puckerman (Us at Muckraker have no comment.)
David Karofsky (Surprised? Us too! Supposedly him and Santana are in "love". You heard it here first!)
Once again there is the option of a write in candidate.
Good luck everyone and don't forget to vote!
How Sue See's It
This is another addition of How Sue See's It. Written none other then Sue Sylvester herself. Your Welcome Ohio. I see this weeks news like this: there is so much drama in Glee club, it should be disbanded. Also everyones fighting and the so called leader (that needs to do us all a favor and shave what he calls 'hair' ) is leaving. I say adios! On the other hand, I think soon-to-be-formed heckling club and also the Cheerios should have all the money that is going to the monstrosity of "Glee Club". Well, thats how Sue see's it.