CHAPTER 1
Author's notes – part 1
Hey, guys I'm back! This is going to be a collectionof one-shots about our trio and other family members. The one-shots are – and at the same time are not – connected with each other. I don't know if all of them will be in chronological order since I don't know how many I'll write, but I'll try to stay within canon as much as possible.
This story is taking place after episode 165. Here's a quick reminder of what happened:
It's a beginning of the Lukedonia arc. Rael came to the school looking for his beloved Seira in order to take her back to see the Lord. While visiting, he insulted the ex-humans, hurt M-21 and fought against Regis until Seira stepped in and turned down his proposal once more. Takeo and Tao asked Franky to make them stronger so that they can protect their friends, pardon, colleagues, especially one certain colleague and M-21 overheard that.
IMPORTANT: I'm using stuff from my other fic "Her Babies". You don't have to read it before reading this, but you probably should. You will understand this story and the dialogues better, catch all the little details and throwbacks and enjoy it more if you do.
I DON'T OWN NOBLESSE. Just a fan of the stuff.
Tao was restless. Contrary to popular belief, he wasn't someone who would get all fidgety over something that easily; at least, not in the way that people would pick up on that kind of behaviour as odd and out of character.
Takeo was not one of said "people". Still, he didn't need his super hearing and vision to recognise the rarely shown pattern in his colleague's movements: Tao was legitimately worked up over something. When he'd become like that, it would mean his brain was working at full speed. That meant: his loud mind had pushed aside all of the things he was constantly processing whether it had been essential information or not, and decided to concentrate only on one thing. And that meant: Tao was thinking of something important. Truly important. To him.
Either that, or they were all gonna die in T-minus ten seconds and nobody but Tao noticed the signs of impending doom.
(That couldn't be it, though, could it? Sure, there was something weird going on with Frankenstein and Raizel, there was this 500 year old "vampire" on the loose, and they were all feeling a little bit on edge because of their inability to do what they needed in order to feel… alright with themselves? Despite all that, there was no real reason to worry yet. Besides, Tao was not a worrywart… Well, not an orthodox one, anyway. He was a strange man.)
"All of us are strange men," Takeo thought while leaning on the metal fence on the balcony.
Tao may be the in-the-face one, expressing himself in over-the-top manner all the time, but the rest of them were far from being any different. It's just the different type of strange/awkward/unfit-for-normal-world behaviour.
(Long ago, Takeo thought having that one thing in common would make it easier for the members of the DA5 to understand each other. Obviously, that never happened; it only made them want to kill each other more often.)
Let's face it: Tao may have been the only person Takeo didn't wanna shoot dead, but it's not like he ever felt anything special for the younger man.
(Right?)
Not being capable of normal social interaction seemed to not hinder their "relationship" with M-21. They could have decent conversations when they wanted to; they could lose their tempers and have different opinions and not resort to violence; they could spend their whole day at school together and not get bored… They could, against all reason, volunteer as lab rats just for the sake of one another.
(What the hell? And this was not the first time they agreed to be experimented on. Did they go completely insane?)
Despite these thoughts, Takeo felt calm; not only because he trusted Frankenstein, but also because he didn't regret his decision. Not once. He couldn't wait, actually, because that meant M-21, Tao and the others would be safer if he could run faster and hit stronger. He was glad to call M-21 his colleague even if the man didn't feel the same about the ex-DA5 agents.
And that made him feel unusual. Restless.
(Was that it? Was that the reason Tao has been watching movies at night while everybody was asleep? Why he talked more with Shinwoo and the gang than with Takeo and M-21 at school?)
Usually, he'd talk non-stop no matter the company, so keeping quiet half a day was… unsettling. Strange how his once-thought idiotic rambling quickly turned into something indispensable to Takeo. When he did talk, he would speak about the movies, about commercials he saw on TV and so called window shopping Yuna and Sui did. (It took Tao fifteen minutes to explain to them that the girls weren't actually shopping for windows. And people thought Takeo was the patient one.)
It wasn't strange for Tao to talk about random stuff that mostly didn't interest neither Takeo nor M-21. Starting the conversation by asking them for their opinion about something was another story entirely. Takeo and M-21, being how they are, left Tao with no real answers to his myriad of questions. (If he was disappointed he didn't show it.)
Tao also started consuming more junk food. Every day he would turn up with a new brand of sweets or fuzzy drinks and offer them to his fellow workers. Needless to say, most of it Tao ended up eating by himself.
Tao could indeed be feeling the same things Takeo did, but these days the gunman himself wasn't sure what was going on inside his own head. He felt safe here in this house, he was happy – yes, happy – to have those two by his side. He loved when children came to visit and played with Seira and Regis – even if he spent most of the time washing dishes then – and he felt grateful to Frankenstein and Raizel for allowing him to stay.
Something was not right, though. Something was off.
Missing.
First, he thought it got something to do with Teira… Dr Aris. Because… It always had to do something with them- Her. While it still hurt him – when he remembered how alive he felt when he would "visit" her at the hospital and describe to her all those exotic places he was sent to wreak havoc in – he started to learn how to deal with that part of his life. It mostly involved forgetting it completely.
He could pretend what M-21 said about the incident changed his way of thinking all he wanted, but if he doesn't forget about it he really would kill himself one day. What does M-21 know about it anyway? Nothing. He couldn't know what Teira had meant to Takeo.
Still, in some way he should know. He should, but he didn't.
Just like Takeo didn't know anything about M-21's colleagues. Just like nobody knew what was Tao thinking about most of the time. Like, why is he restless all of a sudden? Why did he had a private conversation with Frankenstein the other day? Nobody knew the reason because nobody asked.
"Nobody knows anything," he sighed, shifting his weight.
No, it wasn't Teira. She was a trigger, perhaps, but this was not about her. (Could it be… it couldn't be, could it?) This uneasiness couldn't be because of something trivial as talking feelings, right? Or talking in general. What's the big deal about talking, anyway? It's not like the trio not talking about meaningful and personal stuff was interfering with their ability to work or fight or recognise when to leave each other alone if they were not in the mood.
They never fought together as a team, though. Not like DA5 did against all their differences.
(Do you need to know one another to feel like you've bonded? That you belong?) Takeo practically lived with the other DA5 members like a family for years and he still didn't know about their personal life. But he knew them.
(Do I want to know more about my colleagues? Am I allowed to ask? Why do I want to pry into something so delicate? I never wanted before. I didn't care.)
(Do I need to know?)
Raizel barely talked and there was nothing wrong with his relationship with those human kids. Then again, he was… Special? Frankenstein too. He let the ex-humans into his house not asking any questions and not giving any explanations about himself after displaying such powers. The trio didn't know anything about these… people, and they didn't know anything about them. Don't you need to know some basic information about the people you share your house with?
(Woah… hold up, that question belongs to the "human relations" of which you got no clue about.)
Feelings as well, they are not something ex-humans tend to discuss about. Did they even have feelings? Could they feel the way humans do? How should he know? It's not like there were humans they could ask those questions. Except there were, and they just couldn't, because… reasons.
(So, I guess we do – kinda – fit in this household.) Seira and Regis show similar tendencies to act oddly among humans, but they are nobles – it was part of their gig to be unadjusted. Raizel was… Raizel. And Frankenstein was… scary house owner Frankenstein which made him a nice pair to Raizel.
Nobles, kids, Raizel and Frankenstein, and… human toys.
Takeo snorted with a weak smile on his face.
(Didn't hear that one before.) Ex-humans, pets, modified humans, experiments, meat, test subjects, robots, human weapons, agents, soldiers, super humans, humans who threw away their humanity for power… and now, human toys. Just another label. An artificial species that doesn't have a place in the world, doesn't belong anywhere, because it should have never even existed. Always a fifth wheel. And, while they did fit with the other freaks here, they were also unlike them as they didn't have a purpose, nor a name they'd proudly call themselves with.
They had nothing that binds them together. (Except the misfortune of becoming everything he cited.)
Takeo cared about Tao and M-21. A lot.
Even so, after all this time, all he knew about them was the way they fight and the way they adapt… The little things. Relaying on them and knowing they will protect his back was a great deal to Takeo. (Was that all?) Was that enough? He believed it would be, but…
"Why doesn't anyone talk in this house?"
Sometimes he had nightmares that kept him awake at the hours only Tao was not asleep. He would hear him shifting on the sofa in the living room and the buzzing of his laptop. Why in the living room, though? Takeo never asked, nor did he join him when he couldn't sleep. He could hear M-21 mumbling random numbers, sleep talking.
They had problems. Talking about them was embarrassing.
Firstly, they didn't know how to express themselves. Secondly, sticking their noses into other people's personal problems was not something you just do. That's why they're called "personal". (Takeo was the last person who would want to hurt someone by meddling in other people's business.) Lastly, agents of the Union don't share their weaknesses… No, their pain to others; mainly because it will most certainly be used against them.
Besides, other members of the household didn't speak of their personal life either, so maybe that's just something you don't do. Ever.
Humans did.
That's how they mingle, Tao told him once.
Those who lived under Frankenstein's roof were not humans.
Maybe feeling like this had something to do with the little part of Takeo that stayed human. Perhaps it was to be expected of him to feel this way.
So… Should they mingle?
What would they talk about anyway?
The problems.
They can all relate to those. The cause of it was the same. Would that do any good, though? It's not like they could solve them. Solving problems was what Frankenstein and Raizel did. They were like fairy godmothers. Should they talk to them first?
No.
Something told him it wouldn't make the feeling go away.
(It's all very nice that you're having this internal debate, Takeo, but even if you all decided to face your problems together, would you be able to keep your part of the deal? Would you spill out your soul about Teira?)
(My… What?)
"Have you seen M?" Takeo jerked at the sound of Tao's voice being too close. He didn't even hear him enter the balcony. "Oh, did I startle you?"
"I was thinking about something," he answered casually.
"Ha! I actually managed to sneak up on you." Tao was obviously amused. "Aw, what an opportunity wasted."
"What about M-21?"
"Right, I thought he stayed in his room after we returned from work. He wasn't there, though, neither was he in the lab."
"Training room?" Recently M-21 spent a lot of time practising his newly developed skills. Takeo had a feeling he was putting out some steam whenever he felt agitated or whenever he was in a bad mood. It wasn't a wrong way to deal with what was bothering you. It wasn't the right way either. Instead of confronting him about it, Takeo would just join him in practise.
God, they sounded like a dysfunctional family, even though they were ready to risk their lives for one another.
(A… family?)
It was very confusing.
"You think or you've heard him?" Tao leaned on the fence.
"I'm not listening in anymore." (Which was mostly true. He didn't purposely listen for others. Sometimes he'd just pick some things, but never comment on them, because people deserved some privacy.)
"Mm, well, if he's there we should hurry," Tao pushed himself up. "I bet he'll mess up the things I brought."
"What things?"
"You'll see." Takeo narrowed his eyes at the sight of a familiar eagerness for mischief Tao was prone to sometimes. "Come on, the kids are not coming today. The boss' Boss will spend the evening with them at the internet café and boss will come later tonight after he finishes some paperwork at school."
(Oh. Wait a minute.)
"You mean…"
"We have the house all to ourselves tonight!" Tao threw his arms in the air with that famous silly smile of his.
(Well, this can't end well.)
"Takeo, come on!" Tao was already at the stairs to the lower level where the lab and the training room were.
"Does Frankenstein know you're plotting something while he's not home?"
Surely, Frankenstein knew better than to leave Tao alone at the house? (They were always supervised in one way or the other, which made Frankenstein sound just as bad as the Union. While they were monitored, they didn't feel trapped. They felt looked after. And that made a ton of difference.)
This situation of them being completely alone was more than convenient… As if somebody had planned it.
"Well, duh, who do you think helped me get all that stuff?"
"What stuff?" So, the master of the house did know about tonight's happening. Their resident genius and the two-faced kickass were scheming together.
(God help them all.)
"You'll see~!" Tao sang.
Takeo followed him down the stairs uncomfortably, even though there was no legitimate reason to feel nervous.
He could hear unusual noise when they approached the training room doors. Plastic bags and… glass? Tao opened the door and gave a big wave to M-21 who was standing next to the table and chairs. The kind you find at bars.
Since when did they have furniture in their training room?
"Hey, M! You didn't touch anything, did ya?"
"Tao." M-21 used this kind of tone only when he demanded some explanations. Considering how he was wringing the bag of pretzels in his hand, his patience was running out.
"We're having a boy's night!" Tao said as if it made sense.
"A what?" M-21 cocked his head, his annoyance gone in an instance.
It wasn't unusual for Tao to make a big deal out of little things and this was not the first time he tried to persuade the two of them to participate in his games. They weren't hard nuts to crack. All he needed to do was bug them enough to win over their curiosity and they would become accomplices in his "adventures" as he called them. And when Tao was this excited about something, none of them had the heart to refuse him.
"You know, when friends gather to eat and drink and talk and have fun."
"Uh…" Was Takeo's reaction to it; M-21 was a bit more articulate. He always was.
"You mean what the kids do all the time?"
"Yeah, buuuut! This time it's only three of us. Our night." Tao picked up a bottle underneath the table filled to the brim with what seemed like water. There was no etiquette on its glass surface. "I reckon we deserve some quality time, don't you?"
"We spend most of our time together at school." M-21 was looking at the pile of junk food on the table.
"That's work. This…" Tao straightened up and shook the bottle in front of M-21. "This is a party."
M-21 was watching him quietly with that expressionless face of his which could only mean two things: either he was assessing the situation and figuring out how and whether he should decline the offer with his hand-me-down sass he got from Frankenstein or he was genuinely so confused that his brain had stopped working.
"Why all of a sudden?" He asked, calmly, which surprised Takeo.
"Why not?" Tao smirked practically shoving the bottle into M-21 face. "You telling me you don't wanna drink with me, M?"
"What?" M-21 raised an eyebrow.
"You scared?" Tao crossed his hands with a cocky smile, which was more than enough to make M-21's brow twitch. ('What' indeed. Tao wasn't the one to goad others… much. That was M-21's hobby.)
"Why would I be scared of stupid water?"
"Ha! Water? This?" Tao shook his head. "No, no, no, no, no… No." Tao slung his arm around M-21's slender shoulder. "This is alcohol. We can't drink it while the kids are around. This is a drink for grownups."
"Then you should definitely get your hands off it." And there it was. There was no way M-21 wouldn't have a comeback to that measly attempt at goading.
"Hardy-har, very funny," Tao rolled his eyes. "Seriously, though, wanna try it? I did a lot of research. Supposedly, it's a very good tool for mingling."
Takeo felt like caught off guard. He brushed the hair out of his face and shifted his weight.
"Won't it be useless?" Takeo asked as if he didn't really care about the answer.
"What do you mean?" Tao pushed the bottle into M-21's hand.
"Our metabolism." Takeo tossed his head to the other bottles Tao was putting on the table. "Alcohol is poison, right? Our bodies can digest most of the known poisons and usual drugs. We won't feel a thing. No matter the quantity."
"Yep, that's about right." Tao arranged the bottles and glasses and opened a bag of chips. "That's why I asked the boss to help us out. He cooked us some home-made alcohol in the lab. His secret recipe. He drinks it himself sometimes before bed."
M-21 almost jumped at the explanation of the transparent liquid in his hands. He was sniffing it cautiously while Tao was talking and found that he kind of liked the mild smell of it; it wouldn't hurt to try it out.
And then Tao mention Frankenstein. M-21 felt like somebody slapped him back to reason. (Frankenstein's recipe? Really?) Not that he didn't trust the man, but he could be quite creepy. This wouldn't be some strange potion that would turn them into kitchen utensils, would it? (No, that's ridiculous.)
There was also another thing worrying him now. If this was something Frankenstein drank as his substitute for alcohol, then what effect will it have on a failed experiment as himself? Not that M-21 knew if alcohol affected him at all, normal or upgraded. He never had a chance to taste it while he was at the Union, and he never even thought of it as something he'd like to try when he cut his ties with Crombel. He never thought of it. Period. And while the ex-DA5 members knew their bodies could withstand poisons, M-21 wasn't so sure about his own.
M-21 found himself in a predicament. One part of him wanted to give it a go and see for himself how it felt to be acting stupidly as a human, because that meant living, and he wanted to live. For himself and for his colleagues. For all of them. The other was not certain he could stand the embarrassment… or disappointment if nothing happens. Because, if nothing happens… That just meant one more thing had been taken from him before he even knew whether he wanted to have it or not.
"Quantity plus quality. We could get drunk if we wanted to, or we could be responsible adults and just enjoy the flavour and the atmosphere. Personally, I'd like to know how it is to be drunk. It's such a human thing. To be drunk." Tao threw a potato chip and caught it with his opened mouth.
"Isn't it the same as being drugged?" Takeo turned his head to the wall with his arms crossed, hands pressing on his chest as if he was protecting himself from something. It was a nonchalant gesture, but M-21 did notice the change in the air around their gunman.
The next potato chip that Tao sent flying missed its target and hit Tao right on top of his head. Tao blinked at Takeo shutting his mouth in a firm line.
"Ha ha ha, y- you think so?" Tao barked unexpectedly.
M-21 glanced in his direction to see his long neck starting to sweat. Tao brushed his lanky fingers through his short hair with haste and kept scratching his head while he smiled. It was a forced smile, M-21 realised. It was so similar to his everyday cheer, yet so different in so many small ways. He wasn't sure he ever saw the distinction this clearly before.
Takeo shrugged. (It was all he could do, since he couldn't really know, could he?)
"Bu- But, you know," Tao corrected his bangs and inhaled sharply. "It can't be that. No human would willingly drink it if it was that, so it's not."
"That seems logical," M-21 thought.
"Boss wouldn't let us do it if it was." Tao sounded more like himself: the persuading has started. "And no teen would fantasise about it. Heck, hardcore teens lie and forge their documents just to buy the stuff and get into clubs to mix it up and dance with older chicks."
"Chicks?" M-21 rose both of his eyebrows.
"I did research," Tao sat on one of the chairs. "They mix it up with soft drinks to last longer and eat between the drinks. They dance. A lot. With loud music on. Oh, and if they do the partying at home, they play dare games, like, if you don't do as instructed or the other party goers figure out you're lying about something you have to take a shot as a punishment."
"A shot?" Takeo let his hands fall next to his hips.
"It's slang. It means a small drink of strong alcohol." Tao stick out his forefinger to make a point. "Little brother Ikhan and the gang told me that although some people become quiet and broody, most act funny when they're drunk. It looks like it could be entertaining if it doesn't happen all the time when you drink, if you're doing it in a safe environment and if you don't comatose yourself. Mind you, I read up on things you should do if you do overdo it, since you never know what amount of alcohol will affect you, especially if it's your first time."
"Huh…" Takeo relaxed seeing this was obviously a big part of human interactions. As Tao insisted before, they use alcohol as an efficient tool to get to know each other. They use it all the time and during important times in their lives too. It could be interesting to try to act human. To bond. With the people he cared about. (That's what he wanted, wasn't it?)
"People go for a drink when they go on dates or when they meet up with old high school friends. They consume it for special occasions, like weddings, birthdays, proposal parties, business meetings… Even funerals. There's also a ton of movies dealing with this thematic." Tao opened yet another pack of junk food; this time it was candy. "And I'm really looking forward to hangovers. They sound like loads of fun, especially if all of us are having it at the same time." He sucked on the candy and glanced over to M-21 who looked like he was having trouble with something. "You with us, M?"
"Chicks?"
"Girls, M, girls."
"Ah…" He nodded absentmindedly.
"So, you up for it?" He swallowed the candy and took a handful of them. "We're gonna eat all our favourite foods, drink and chitchat all night. We don't have work tomorrow, so boss said we could. And if it gets wild in here, we have sturdy walls to protect us and our house mates."
"Wild?" Takeo came closer to the table and picked up one of the bottles, inspecting it thoroughly.
"Precaution measures."
"And what are we gonna chitchat about?" M-21 decided to join in.
He could always stop with the partying if he didn't like it and neither of them would look down on him. They were all in the same boat; none of them knew anything. Sure, Tao did his research, but he was in the dark just as the rest of them. He probably did all the digging because he was insecure himself and because this way Takeo and M-21 would feel safer if at least one of them looked like he knew what he was doing.
"Dunno. Go with the flow?" Tao stuffed himself with sweets. (Takeo shared his suspicion with M-21 some time ago that Tao had a sweet tooth and no self-control whatsoever when it came to food.)
They sat down and waited, until Tao offered them candies, to which they just waved their hands.
"I bought all sorts of things. Choose whatever you like."
"From your pay check?" Takeo opened the bottle and smelled it.
"Mm." Tao crunched the candy with his teeth. "Hey, use the glasses, yeah?"
"You should have told us to cash in," M-21 poured a glass for himself.
"Then you'd be wasting your money on things you might not need nor like."
"What about you then?" Takeo's brows puckered in a mild frown.
"I like everything." He readied his glass.
"It's not like I have anything to buy anyway," M-21 murmured.
"Well, it is high time you think about what you want," Tao raised his glass. "Ok, guys, cheers!"
Takeo and M-21 shared a confused look.
"You cheer by knocking the glasses together. Gently." Tao couldn't stop smiling for some reason and that somehow warmed the atmosphere of the usually cold room.
They made their first cheer sloppily. Tao was the first to sip on his drink and others followed his suit. It was silent while they worked on their beverage. When they all finished it was silent for two long minutes, probably waiting for someone to speak first.
"Bitter," Tao announced in a whisper. "Thought it would be sweet because of the smell."
"Don't like it?" M-21 leaned on the table, resting his head on his hand.
"Dunno," Tao poured himself another glass.
"Anybody feeling anything's out of order?" Takeo asked.
"It takes time for this thing to kick in. Relax." Tao took a swig of alcohol. "So! Girls."
M-21's head almost slipped from his hand in surprise. Takeo shifted in his seat as if Tao was talking in a foreign language.
"Anyone?"
"You wanna talk about girls?"
"Well, M, remember that time Shinwoo asked us for love advice?"
"Don't remind me." It came out almost as a growl.
"It was so…"
"Awkward?"
"Hilarious!" Tao took it upon himself to fill up their glasses, since the others were such slowpokes. "And, you know, I was thinking…"
"Ngh…" If they didn't know better, they would have thought Takeo whined.
"After an hour spent gossipping with beautiful Suyi, we both came to the conclusion that our dear Yuna has a crush on you, mister." Tao winked at the mister in question.
"Ha?" M-21's bemused expression encouraged Tao to continue.
"If we compere Shinwoo's symptoms when he talks to Seira, to Yuna's, she definitely has a thing for you. You did save her two times now, if this was a love story you'd be her prince charming."
"Love?" M-21 blurted out after a couple of seconds of silence and Takeo had a feeling he should try his hardest to change the subject.
Before he could even start, the youngest ex-human interrupted cheerfully: "So, what do you think, M?"
"About what?"
"Her condition."
"Why call it condition?" Takeo finally joined in the conversation.
"They say love is like a sickness, that it hurts." Tao slumped against the chair, drink in his hand.
"You're implying that I'm hurting her?" M-21's voice sounded defensive.
"Ha?" Tao almost chocked on his beverage. "No! No, no, no. I was just wondering how you felt about that. How'd you react if she confessed to you."
On the surface, M-21 looked indifferent, if not a bit irked, by Tao's seemingly insensitive rambling; inside, there was turmoil. He decided to deal with it by ignoring it and do what was expected of him – to drink. He gulped down his beverage without a word. Tao was not attempting to play with his feelings nor did he had some hidden agenda. He was just inquisitive… and maybe slightly worried about Yuna. (God knew, M-21 wasn't ready to handle something like love.)
"Don't be mad, ok? I'm just concerned about you."
"Worried about me? Not Yuna?" M-21 thought, knowing the genius of the group wouldn't lie. "But, why me? Yuna is the one with the condition."
"I'm fine," M-21 voiced aloud. "I didn't even notice." That was true too. He heard about love; never experienced it, though. He didn't know first thing about showing such affection towards another person, nor was he sure he was even capable of it. As for alcohol, he never thought of it.
"Ok, but, how about it? You like Yuna?"
"Sure." It's not like he didn't like her. She was a kind girl. Ordinary. Human.
"I meant do you feel something more than just normal attraction?"
"Why are we talking about this?" Takeo interrupted with a stricter tone.
"It's just a random topic," Tao shrugged while looking for a bag of peanuts. "Love is such a complex human feeling, there are so many different types of it, studies and books about it and so many movies, and no matter how much I research it I can never find one official definition. Don't you guys ever think about whether we are able to fall in love like humans do? I mean… in the end we are still part human."
He popped the bag and put it in the middle so everyone can reach it. He met Takeo's stare, which lost every trace of annoyance. He looked like he was contemplating on how to break some unpleasant news.
"You know we can't," Takeo uttered carefully.
"I think those drugs wore off. If not, they will. It wasn't a permanent thing." Tao said. "Besides, some say that has nothing to do with love."
"What?" M-21 asked in the middle of his drink.
"Dr Aris used chemical castration on us. You know, like they sometimes punish sex offenders." Considering the Union did much worse things to their subjects, it really shouldn't have surprised him how easily those words left the lips of the youngest ex-human, but it did. That was just… a horrible thing to do.
At that moment, M-21 realised this was the first time he ever heard about experiments done on his new colleagues.
"What about you?" Tao asked and M-21 really should have predicted he'd pop the question.
"Honestly…? I don't know." It puzzled him the way the answer came out with ease. Somehow, it didn't sound weird nor embarrassing talking about something so intimate. (Guess he was fine with confiding in them.)
"That's ok, don't go overthinking it. If it happens… When it happens, just let it happen. I bet it's nice falling in love, not scary at all, so don't be scared."
That was Tao for you. Plunging you into the deep sea of insecurities, intimacy and shame, ostensibly for his own amusement and then cracking the thick ice that sealed you in the water of your fears by just a couple of words that hit the mark better than Takeo's bullets ever could. M-21 was nowhere near in love. It's not like he spent time thinking of the possibility of it ever happening in the future, mostly because he believed it was a waste of effort. There were many other things more important than touchy feelings. Nevertheless, Tao's encouragement soothed him for some reason.
Maybe someday he'll really find someone special, and maybe he'll become special to someone. Accepted and loved. And not scared or convinced it is all a lie and a scam. (Because there was no way anyone would love a thing like him, right?)
Even though she didn't know he was a lab rat, if someone as pure as Yuna thought he was worth the trouble, then maybe there was still hope for him. Besides, before her memory was erased, she did see his 'furry secret' and wasn't afraid. She cried for him. For a failed experiment. Trash. So unexpected and so… Nice. (It was hard to admit, but it did wonders for his shattered self-esteem; perhaps he should give himself more credit.) It was odd to think this way, but maybe he could start trying to get used to it.
For a loud mouth and a scatter brain, Tao could read people better than one may assume. He could pinpoint the real issue and, unlike other modified humans, he barely had any filters to stop him from addressing them. (You could say that was thanks to his raving curiosity, and you wouldn't be wrong. But-) The bottom line was, Tao was a fixer and he didn't discriminate between living beings and machines. That being said, it wasn't a habit of his to go around and fix people.
From the tonight's act, M-21 gathered Tao believed something important was in need of an immediate repair.
The way Tao turned his attention to Takeo who appeared to be as stiff as he was the whole evening, should had been a big give away: "Right, Takeo? You loved Teira."
"We're not talking about Teira." Takeo didn't mean it to sound like a treat. He could feel his temperature rising, his blood rapidly pumping through his veins. He was inwardly seething, thinking: "Bravo, Takeo, you hypocrite."
If any of them forgot Takeo was rumoured to be the coldest of the DA5, this snarling, stern face of his was a good reminder. The animosity swiftly disappeared from his features, but once you see those icy blue eyes, you don't tend to ignore them. (It was mind-boggling how that sharp face could host so much violence and yet show enough kindness to melt one's heart.)
M-21 was certain the overflowing bloodlust would have never found its place in Takeo's eyes if he had not been used by the Union.
He was well aware of the treatment of their pets. Once, he thought successful subjects were handled with more care. After meeting Dr Aris, and after gaining some new light on the matter, he understood he couldn't have been further from the truth. That bitch blighted Takeo's gentle soul forever.
"Dr Aris." He didn't know if it showed, but M-21 was pissed because that despicable woman was still affecting his colleague. Whenever Takeo woke up on the wrong side of the bed, M-21 knew he had some sick dream about that bitch. Having a good poker face didn't work on M-21; he could smell something was wrong.
And there it was – the poker face. Takeo thought of others' well-being more than of his own, which is why he avoided any discussion that could presumably hurt the other party, even if they had hurt him first. M-21's butting in must have ticked him off. Unlike him, who'd be thinking of a way to insult or slap the cocky bastard, Takeo was swiping it under the rug.
"Right. Dr Aris," Takeo barely managed a smile. "You must think I'm stupid."
"I don't."
"You act like it." For some reason, M-21's denying wound Takeo up more than shoving that woman's true name in his face.
"I think you're an idiot," M-21 spat. "A senile one."
"Um…" Tao tried to say something, but was easily overpowered.
"I told you not to spout that bullshit in front of me."
"I said nothing." Even though it raised in volume, Takeo's voice was still calm.
"You're about to," M-21 almost laughed at him.
"You don't know what you're talking about."
"Let me guess, a single child can't possibly comprehend the troubles of the one blessed with siblings." This time he actually smirked.
"Don't you patronize me," Takeo said coldly. "I get why you're pissed with me for feeling like this, and why the things I said to you mean crap. I respect your disagreeing with me, and I'm sorry for you and your colleagues. I'm sorry if I insulted you with my crap. It wasn't intentional and I never mentioned it again, did I?"
"Yes," M-21 thought, "You really didn't, did you? Even though it was obviously gnawing at you."
At that moment M-21 realised something: perhaps Takeo wasn't really humiliated by the fact that his sister was a fake. Maybe it had nothing to do with pride… Nothing with the destroyed pride of a successful experiment who now understood he was just as worthless as the trash was. Perhaps he was actually hurt, no matter how foolish that was.
Being hurt was completely different from not being able to get over yourself; it changed everything.
"And we thought it was all well and dandy." M-21 mentally kicked himself for being blind, when he knew how Takeo was. He didn't need years to figure him out. Kind people were easy to spot, because they tend to stand out.
(Alright, he'll let the gunman take a punch to make it even.)
"But that's just it, isn't it? You think you're the only one who got it hard. That you're the only victim here, and that knowing that someone perhaps had it worse than me is the only thing I need to move on."
He might have applauded him for packing in such a punch if he was not the one on the receiving end.
M-21 awaited to go ballistic on his ass. Except he didn't, because… It was true, wasn't it? He did feel like that most of the time. Hell, that was the exact reason why he didn't see the hurt sooner.
The only reason why M-21 didn't curl up in the ball on the floor and cry out of depression was because he had a mission, a promise to keep. Despite that, he was still despondent and uninterested in life, cutting himself off. Only recently did he find pleasure in keeping company. Only when he gave up his reason to live did he find his will to stay alive: he learnt to love life and yearn for it. Nowadays, M-21 had plenty of reasons to live, he didn't even need to think about them.
When Takeo first expressed his wish to die, M-21 was pissed and, yes, insulted, because he could be self-centred like that. Nevertheless, he did believe making Takeo feel lucky that in the end he wasn't fucked like the M series, would be enough to keep him going.
(How wrong he was.)
He wouldn't be Takeo if he was relieved that someone suffered more than him; such knowledge would only devastate him further and shut his mouth for good. In such a situation Takeo would have probably thought he had no right to complain.
"This isn't about me," M-21 mentally sighed to keep his cool. "This is about breaking the spell my colleague is under and bringing back his will. I need to look at this from a different angle. I need to listen. That bitch is not winning this fight."
"For god's sake, Takeo, she was not your real sister." M-21 said in a clam voice, almost soft.
Tao wasn't sure whether he was more stunned by the fact that M-21 kept his temper and foul mouth in check, or more taken aback by how Takeo snapped.
"And that should make my feelings for her less important, is that what you're saying?" The mask that kept his face from falling apart broke in so many pieces it was impossible to glue it back together. "She was real to me! For years! Every day! I kept worrying every single day the Union will break our deal, that they will just get rid of her while I'm away on a mission in some godforsaken jungle, chasing after some runaway scientists and burning villages with innocent children. Young and fragile just like she was! How can you not get this?!"
"Takeo…" M-21 said as if he wanted to stop him, for a moment thinking that maybe this was a wrong approach, thinking this could make things worse, because who said M-21 was qualified for solving anything. Takeo was acting out of character and that scared M-21 for a moment- But then he realised this was actually a good thing.
Takeo was talking. For the first time he was explaining it, in a way, almost begging to be heard. His point of view, how he actually felt- The things not even Tao – judging by the hacker's expression – knew anything about. Both of them didn't know about it and they, as Takeo said, didn't really get it. They didn't, because they didn't know the story. (And till now, M-21 begrudgingly admitted, didn't really care about knowing.)
This made M-21 certain that Takeo talking, no matter how unusually emotional he was, was a good thing. Making him talk was a good move. And then M-21 got an idea. He was a cheeky bastard, so why not make it count? Why not challenge Takeo to help him see the truth?
His mind now set, M-21 wanted to open his big mouth, but Takeo obviously didn't expect an answer: "You don't! How- Their screams, their eyes when I… I could see…! Teira! I would think of Teira, the way she screamed from pain, the way it thorn my heart apart. Not being able to do anything about the disease, trying so hard and failing. Every. Single. Time! I failed her and she didn't mind! I killed! And she smiled, she kept smiling to me. I would kill and she would smile."
"… Damn it…" M-21 thought, trying his hardest not to show distress, to stick to his plan.
This was so much more than a fake sibling. Teira was so much more.
M-21 understood. He understood everything the moment a sole tear came rolling down Takeo's face and Takeo being completely unaware of it. (The tear was just like the one he saw on M-24's face once.)
M series were kept under lock and key. They didn't interact with the world, they barely interacted with the rest of the Union. They didn't kill, they were killed. He and M-24 were the only ones who got the chance to work for their owners, therefore experiencing a life of active agents.
Most people remember their first kill, most of them have a reaction towards it, yet M-21 didn't remember the face of his first victim nor the feeling of becoming a murderer. He barely remembered any of his victims, but M-24 had a hard time forgetting them. Sure, at one point he too became indifferent to the point that he sometimes even enjoyed a good kill, yet he was never like M-21.
When M-24 cried after killing a man for the first time, M-21 couldn't understand the reason behind that deep sorrow. Killing was necessary in order to survive, in order to blend in and get what they wanted. All of the M series were killed for no reason, so what if they murder some people they don't even know? They didn't look like good people anyway. (Then again, M-21 never quite grasped the difference between good and bad. And he never saw that as a problem.)
Now, of course, he knew how messed up he had been, but he was yet to experience remorse or guilt over what he had done in the past. Maybe his mind somehow detached itself from it all, maybe it considered past to belong to a totally different person. Or was he perhaps so arrogant to think of it all as some form of vengeance and therefore deem it justified? M-21 could only guess so he never really dwelled on it.
The memory of M-24 crying was the only thing preventing him to forget their first kill.
"I wonder what kind of people successful experiments eliminated?" M-21 thought even though he already knew. DA5 were very popular at one point and Takeo has engraved a vivid picture in his mind with just a few words.
"It was wrong! It was so wrong, but it felt right! She made me feel right and I…! I couldn't stop! I couldn't stop even when I tried, because I needed her and she needed me." Takeo would only pause to breathe which was becoming more difficult by the second. "She was sick! She couldn't move on her own, couldn't breathe. She was alive because the Union gave her medication you couldn't find in hospitals, and even if you could, a stupid drop-out like me would have never been able to afford it!"
(Teira was Takeo's name list. She was Takeo's M-24… and so much more. It was crystal clear to him now.)
Just like M-24 was an embodiment of strength and goodness to M-21, Teira was that to Takeo. M-24 was family, and if life was kinder, M-21 would be calling him big brother rather than colleague. Like M-24 and the list were, Teira was also an excuse for all the evildoing and now that she was gone, for someone like Takeo it was easy to drown in all the guilt and self-hate.
But having an excuse was just a tiny part of it and so not the point; that was obvious even to M-21. He could only imagine how he'd feel if the M series never had names in the first place. It most certainly wouldn't have been a pretty sight if M-24 had betrayed him at some point – or tried to kill him even.
All of a sudden Takeo's statement I've lost the will to live had an entirely different ring to it.
Once again he asked himself what to do, thinking over his initial plan. Perhaps he should apologise and pacify his comrade by convincing him that he now understood.
"No, damn it," M-21 thought to himself, "Teira is not real. She was never real. It's wrong. He needs to see that it's wrong. I mean, it's Dr Aris for fuck's sake!"
Even if the list was fictitious, even if M-24 turned evil in some twisted version of reality, after a time of grief, M-21 would be able to live on. Looking at those options from this point in his life, it would still hurt badly, but it wouldn't brake him because there really were many other reasons to live in happiness. (After everything that happened he'd sometimes think those were more important. At least more important than forgotten names.)
"She was my only family. I was her strong big brother, and she was counting on me to keep her safe- I promised to keep her safe, to never leave her like, like… I… I was responsible for her, what was I supposed to do? She was the only thing not tainted in my life. The only person who ever loved me and I loved her!"
"So you let them toy with you? You really are a human who threw away his humanity for power." There was no smile nor a hint of ridicule in M-21's voice.
"They found me not the other way around! They tried to kidnap Teira! They threatened to experiment on her!"
"On a weak meat like her?" M-21 noticed how Tao was now so focused on his upset colleague that he wasn't blinking at all. The genius' brain was working full capacity, probably trying to connect all the dots and construct a clear picture of Takeo's past. (M-21 and Tao never talked about Teira and what it meant her being a fake. Actually, nobody in the house ever discussed the implications of it and Takeo's symptoms.)
If there was a way to erase all of the person's memories, then there was a way to change them too. M-21 didn't hear about such a thing while he was in the Union nor did he ever meet someone who went through that. On the other hand, M-21 was the lowest of the low at the institution (and even if he met someone with fixed memories he wouldn't really be able to tell).
Tao may be more informed on the matter, but considering how he followed the two's conversation, Tao was just as clueless as M-21 (which was downright frightening).
"It was either her or me. So, yes! I let them do whatever the hell they wanted! Does that make me a bad person? You're saying I asked for it?! Fine! But she was safe and they swore to treat her as long as I do as they say! There was a chance for her to get well and to grow into a normal girl. There was a chance to save her- I could have saved…" Takeo was panting hard, his ears buzzing. "I thought you'd understand! I thought your colleagues were your brothers, your family for which you'd do anything!" Takeo let out a heavy sigh. He was getting tired. "Why do I need to justify my love for her? She's my sister."
"You don't," M-21 whispered while his stomach churned; looking at his comrade pained expression took a tool on him. He could only say: "But Takeo, that woman… Dr Aris, she… What she did to you… Don't you see? Don't you get it?"
"She's my sister… and I lost her. She's dead!" Takeo shut his eyes and there were new tears rolling down his cheeks.
And at that moment M-21 remembered the rubble that buried his big brother.
"Takeo…" Tao was evidently hit hard by how much Takeo was upset. It was clear now that his intention was to address the sensitive Teira issue this evening, but he obviously didn't predict there was so much hidden pain in Takeo. He slowly stood up wanting to touch his comrade, to hug him even, and comfort him. "She… But she was never ali-"
Takeo batted his hands away, refusing to let him come near: "She's gone! And you say I should feel guilty for gri…! W- Why do I feel guilty for even thinking I w- want to grieve?"
"Ah… That's my fault… and everybody else's who said nothing, but… I'm gonna fix it now. I want to fix it…" M-21 thought remembering how he cried over the rubble. He too was somewhat robbed of the time to grieve in peace, but he did have time to think about it. He had his small revenge. And… He had M-24's last words to cherish and dream about… unlike Takeo.
Takeo had right to grieve… But he also needed to see the truth. Both were needed for him to be healthy in heart and mind. It was so confusing- Contradicting. (No wonder there was so much pain.)
"Takeo… I'm sorry. I really am, but don't you see? My colleagues are my brothers, but unlike your Teira, they were real people who truly cared for me." Takeo was standing for some time now. M-21 decided to stay seated and composed for once. "Did you forget she tried to eat you?"
"That was a side effect of an experiment! Those bastards punished her because I failed the mission! It was all my fault!"
Tao gawked at his fellow ex-DA5 agent with a nuance of fear and at that moment M-21 could feel his whole body getting cold with dread.
"It can't be… Does he still believe Teira is real? That bitch!" M-21 thought, all of his calm gone.
"No, but, Takeo, when you met her…! Don't you remember what happened?" Tao was visibly trying not to panic.
"It was Dr Aris- One of her tricks, she… She did something to Teira… I- I was just confused… for a moment." His voice was weak and he avoided Tao's shocked stare.
"Takeo, listen to me," Tao grabbed his upper arm. "There is no data about Teira. None of the other DA5 ever saw her, including me. And I know for a fact how Dr Aris looks like. I'd recognise her in every shape and form. There is no mistake from boss' report. That was Dr Aris."
"No, but… I… How could I…?"
"Oh, shut up!" M-21 stood up, which startled Takeo. "You really are senile! You saw it with your own two eyes, Takeo! That bitch confirmed she was Dr Aris the whole time; that she was playing with you because she was bored." He folded his fingers into fists. "Why on earth do you still believe in her lies?"
"I remembered! In my dreams… I saw…" Takeo's eyes were moving around the room not really fixated on anything. His gaze seemed lost, as if it was searching for something. Takeo looked fragile… That was not a word with which any of them would ever describe their gunman.
"In your dreams? In your dreams, Takeo?" M-21 decided to push. This was a last straw. That bitch had to die. For real. "You hearing yourself? You think your nightmares are reality?"
"They…"
"You need to forget about her. She's not real. She's absurd!"
"Absurd?" Takeo seemed distracted by that word.
"Think about what you've just told us, about the way you two ended up at the Union. It's rubbish. That story is completely absurd." He was trying so hard to stress every single word and get them through that thick skull of the tall man.
"But I… No." Takeo's confusion was gone for a second. "I remember!"
"You remember nothing!"
"I do!" He screamed.
Takeo was a quiet man of very few words; Tao heard him shout before in a fit of rage or aggravation, but he never heard him scream in desperation.
"It was snowing… She was so small, mother cradled her in her arms and…"
"She doesn't exist! You're letting something that doesn't exist fuck with you. Control you when you're supposed to be free."
"And… father abandoned us because… Because…" Takeo's voice was dying out. The weariness was taking over, making him aware of his severe headache.
"You were brainwashed," M-21 was more than serious, looking Takeo straight in the eye.
Takeo was staring back at him, absorbing everything. There was something different in those blue eyes of his. There was realisation… denial… And so much more.
"… I… don't understand…" Absentmindedly, his free hand ended up in his hair. The smooth skin of his temple surprised him and that, in itself, was strange: he remembered doing this before.
"I don't have any memories before the Union," M-21 explained slowly. "What she did to you… She changed your memories, she adapted them… or something. I don't know how that shit works."
"But that's… absurd… Isn't it absurd?"
"… Yeah." M-21 nodded.
"… You're saying it's true..."
"I can see it's hard, but if you just think about it, I'm sure you'll come to see it too. Haven't you ever doubted it?" M-21 asked.
Takeo thought about many things, he remembered a lot. He was too tired to give an answer; his head felt too much like a mush. And the feeling was very familiar.
"Brainwashed… That can't be right," the thought repeated itself inside Takeo's mind like a mantra. "I checked… My head, I checked it… I have no scar, she didn't… They didn't crack my head open, so how? Drugs? But… we all took the same things… Impossible. It's impossible to… To make it so real... Maybe I'm just stupid… No… No! Brainwashed? When did it even happen? It's not true. Can it be true?" His eyes darted over to Tao who was looking at him anxiously.
It was shocking, but not as shocking as he thought, because suddenly seeing Tao like that made it clear to him what was so obviously true. He was brainwashed.
She brainwashed him.
What did it even mean to be brainwashed? Did it mean everything he thought he knew, everything he remembered about his life before the Union was a lie? Were all of his memories fabrication or were there some he could call his own? What about those of the Union? How much of that was fake? How could he even tell a fake from the real thing? And what about…?
"… My feelings…" Takeo uttered. If it was possible to change someone's memories, could the feelings also be altered? Isn't that like… changing who you are? Changing how you think?
"What about my feelings?"
"Well, they're true," Tao answered right away even if what Takeo said didn't necessarily sound like a question. "You created them, nurtured them. They are yours. You are real."
Tao did sound convincing, however…
"You're against them," Takeo whispered.
"That's not it," M-21 said. "You loved her. And that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong in feeling sad over losing someone you loved."
"… It's ok?" Takeo sniffed. He looked more relaxed, as if an enormous weight was lifted form his shoulders. At that moment, he became aware of the tears threatening to appear again and bowed his head a little in attempt to hide it.
"More than ok," Tao whispered to him while his hand continued patting Takeo gently on the back. M-21 saw on his face that he wanted to do more for Takeo, and probably chose not to in fear of messing up. M-21 understood the dilemma completely since he, too, didn't know how to give a comforting reassuring embrace.
"… It's so confusing…" Takeo uttered weakly, his hand resting on his wet face.
M-21 waited for a moment for their sniper to calm down a bit and wipe away the "humiliating proof of weakness", and then he said: "I'm not saying it should happen right this instant, Takeo, but you also need to let it go. She's smothering you, keeping you in chains of that prison we ran away from. You are free and unhappy and that's exactly what Dr Aris wants. You can't let her win. We can't let them win."
It was preposterous to even begin to think any of the subjects had family members kept at the Union. Sure, they could have been used to torture the subjects further, but used to subdue the subjects to do the Elders' bidding? For years? Scientists were more than capable of breaking a person without lifting a finger. That bitch must have been really touched in the head to play like that for no reason with Takeo of all people, because of course a sacrificial goofball… a selfless kind-hearted man like him would believe it.
(Did she honestly brainwash him just for her amusement? And put up with the act for years? Wouldn't that bore her?)
Knowing why Frankenstein spared Takeo's life after their battle on the roof, something told M-21 that Takeo was a particularly tough nut to crack, and that him being like that was a sole reason why she did it in the first place. It would had been easier if she had just disposed of him, like any other scientist would have.
Their gunman must had been really wanted.
"If you don't snap out of it, you will kill yourself," M-21 said hurriedly, his voice a mere whisper. "I don't want to lose another colleague."
Takeo met his gaze again. M-21 was strong, stubborn, yet he begged him desperately to heed his words.
"You don't need her anymore, Takeo," he told him. "You must move on."
"That's easy for you to say," Takeo said with a strange tone after a moment of silence. "You have your promise… That name thing of yours. I've got no purpose… because… If I don't need her… then she doesn't need me either…"
"You got Tao," M-21 said patiently. "And you got me- Or did I overhear it incorrectly about you two idiots volunteering to be guinea pigs just so that you can save my sorry ass the next time some freak tries to gut me?"
"Oh! You heard that?" Tao scratched his head in embarrassment.
"You were blabbering in the hall. Everyone heard you."
"What does that have to do with anything?" Takeo asked sharply. "Of course I'm gonna do everything in my power to protect you. I'll shoot that blond down the next time I see him."
"And you think that's not a good enough reason to move on? That you care about the two of us? That you care about the kids and nobles and Raizel and Frankenstein? You care about those people, right?"
"Of course I do."
"Well, we care about you too and we need you, so what's your problem?"
What, indeed; Takeo couldn't tell as the fog lifted in his throbbing head.
He remembered the dream, forever the same, yet always different. He was in the dark sitting on the cold floor, resting on her beating chest, her warm hands holding him tight in a hug, her fingers brushing through his hair while she whispered in his ear with that sweet, cute voice of hers – whispered about something he couldn't make out. There were shadows and flame in the eerie dark around him, vengeful voices and hateful screams that threatened to break him and eat him alive. He returned her gentle touch, refusing to let go because she kept him safe. She gave him peace, whenever the apparitions started clawing their way to his heart, tainting it and twisting it into feral animal's that knew only of violence. When he hated himself she loved him.
(If a beautiful girl like her loved him, then he must have been more than a monster. Knowing she needed him made him love himself too.)
The dream was always the same, yet different. The space was somehow brighter. The shadows were there, staring. She was holding him tight, her cool fingers pressing on his head, while the whispering continued. Only this time, instead of giving in to her voice, he couldn't stop shivering. As if he felt he should protect himself, he wrapped his arms around his stomach. Something told him it would be wiser and more efficient to just stand up and release himself from the hug. Yet, he couldn't find the strength to do it. Even when the shadows dissolved, he didn't dare try.
Something shattered then, the icy fingers pulled him closer, a claw found its way to his pounding heart. He didn't have to take a look to know that everything was shining brightly, that the dark was in fact here, with him. It has always been here with him, not letting him go. He felt the tongue tasting him, licking his earlobe. Shutting his eyes, he heard a whisper, so clear.
I'll eat you.
He wanted to run away and couldn't get up, because he couldn't allow himself to lose her.
(Why?)
(He didn't really know.)
Takeo would die if he renounced her.
Even though there was light, there was nothing in it. The next time he opened his eyes in a dream, there was warmth in the apparitions in the white, calling his name. And he was so cold, so eager to answer the call… And still, far too weak to stand. (How pathetic, how cowardly.)
The apparitions were quite rude, tactless and impatient. But they didn't ridicule him. They padded over and aggressively unhooked the claws from him. They tried to hoist him up, but he was still pathetic and scared because they were planning to take him away. He pleaded meekly not to be separated from her, yet he didn't put much of a fight as they dragged him like a useless sack of trash he was, because he knew it in his bones – forsaking her was a right thing to do.
They hauled him for a long time. The image of her just a speck now. The coldness gone. A long, long… Long time. So long he began feeling pissed. Really pissed.
Suddenly he jumped up and shook their hands off.
I can walk on my own, thank you very much!
It irritated him how they smirked at him.
As long as you know.
They continued forward with such ease, turning their back to him, Takeo doubted he could be so full of resolve like they were. He noticed the dark in the corner of his eyes shifting and he opened his mouth to call for help- And then he moved. On his own.
The first step was sloppy, the second uncertain, the third quicker, the fourth stronger… He caught up to his friends in no time, walking right beside them. No wonder he was the fast one in the group.
We'll stay close by, the rude bunch reassured him.
They knew him better than he thought. Not having a particular place to go had its benefits, after all. And if they part somehow, Takeo had super vision, super hearing and super speed. He will find them.
The deep cold blue cleared and his expression softened. A small smile appeared on his face, the kind that melts one's heart. Takeo sighed, then. Tension left his shoulders, and with his gaze fixated to the ground, he looked ashamed of himself for causing all the trouble.
M-21 should have seen this coming. He honestly didn't know how to fix this.
Thank God, Tao – ever so nimble – knew exactly what to do. He wrapped his lanky arms around both of them pulling them closer.
"Alright! This calls for a celebration!" Tao giggled.
"You're still gonna make us drink?"
"Is it not thrilling enough for you, M?" He wiggled his brows. "Should we turn it into a competition? See who can last the longest?"
"Woah, is that a challenge?" M-21 thought. "Sign me right up."
"First thing's first, we need to have a toast!" Tao untangled himself and picked up two glasses. Pouring the beverage and handing over the glasses, he raised the bottle. The other ex-humans followed his lead and knocked their glasses against the bottle. "Cheers!"
"Err… Toast to what?" Takeo was curiously watching Tao take a long sip from the bottle. "And what happened to your glass?"
"I feel more badass like this." Tao brushed the corner of his mouth with his sleeve. "And we're celebrating the establishment of our little club!"
"A club?" They asked in union.
"You know, a clique, a group, a… Oh!" His black eyes were huge. "A team!"
"Aren't we already a team?" M-21 hummed matter-of-factly.
Takeo felt dumb.
A team. Of course they were already a team. They've been a team from the moment M-21 asked Frankenstein and Raizel for their permission to let the remnants of DA5 to stay. A sudden realisation hit Takeo: he and Tao were not the first to think of others as their colleagues.
He really was a senile idiot.
"Oh?" Tao mused. "You think?"
"Mm." M-21 was busy with his second round of drink Tao was so polite to offer. The flowery smell was even better than before. (He was very interested in finding out which flower that was.)
"We didn't fight together as one, though."
"Tao, trust me, we'll have plenty of opportunities. It's a given living with those two." M-21 stretched out his hand for more. The genius poured him a glass, while looking at them both lively. His free hand took out the mobile phone from his pants and started typing, never taking a look to check on his writing. (Bless Tao for being able to multitask.)
"Ho! Well, I'll be damned, what an unexpected turn of events!" Tao chirped, his smile radiant. "I'll need to go over our stats, organise some group practise, do some digging, make some tests and lay out some new strategies first thing in the morning. We gotta make our first official team fight memorable, you know. Make an impact! And here I thought I'd have to bug you about it until you break under the pressure of my cute puppy dog eyes."
"You mean insufferable stubbornness, right?" Takeo teased and both Tao and M-21 could now completely relax knowing their sniper will be ok. Tao was already filling M-21 another glass.
"Po-tay-to, po-tah-to." Tao put the mobile phone away. When he saw his bottle almost empty, he jumped, pouting like a child. "Hey, M! You're stealing from my bottle!"
"Until the team is official, it's every man for himself," M-21 grinned at him.
"Oooh? Is that so?" Tao returned to his seat and opened a new bottle. "Fine. As punishment for such wicked behaviour I, Tao, will choose the name for our team."
"We're not really gonna have a name for it, will we?" Takeo sat down with a new shot ready.
"It's an essential part of being a team, duh! How are we gonna make a name for ourselves if we don't have one in the first place?"
"… Whatever you say." Despite having a bad feeling about it, Takeo decided to let it slide. It will be as Tao says – it kinda always is – so why bother protesting; it could end up being fun. As almost everything he ever plans out does.
"Yeah… You do that," M-21's smirk didn't drop even when he was drinking.
Was it the drink or the strange feeling of peace and satisfaction? He didn't know and he didn't really care. This evening was starting to be really good.
M-21 was unusually amused, which Takeo found even more amusing; M-21 was yet to learn the style with which Tao one-ups others. (Or it could be that he just relaxed and went with the flow.)
The atmosphere in the training room was more than comfy. Takeo himself was untypically relaxed. Off guard and open, which was unfathomable for the sniper.
"Don't forget you'll have to agree no matter what I choose," Tao was pointing at M-21 with his finger. "And if you don't like it, you'll just have to bear with it because of your wickedness, mister. I won't budge even if you wiggle your tail like a cute puppy you are."
M-21 choked on his drink, while Takeo stared stunned, trying to suppress a giggle forming at the bottom of his throat. He patted his teammate on the back to help him breathe.
"You ok, Tao?" Takeo covered his lips, curving in a smile. "How many have you had?"
"How many did you have, Takeo? Were your hands working at full speed, while we weren't looking? You're all red in the face." Tao took a swig from his bottle.
"Oh, I'm fine. You have no idea how much fuel I need and how fast I burn it because of that full speed of mine you've mentioned. I won't feel a thing – Frankenstein's recipe or not."
"Don't let the boss hear ya, or he'll take it as a challenge." Tao leaned in closer to M-21 who was finally breathing normally. "You hear this, M? Takeo thinks he's better than us."
"One more," he smiled smugly giving the glass to Tao to fill. "And one for the gunman. Let's check that theory."
"Maybe you should eat something first. Did you keep count of those shots?" Takeo ruffled through the mountain of junk food. "You like Shrimp Snacks, right?"
"A shrimp- What?"
"A salty pretzel looking chip- The only snack you ever eat." Takeo spotted a bag of said snack next to a longish, colourful package of a sweets which looked familiar.
"That's how it's called?"
"Jeez, M, pay attention to what you eat. Especially if you like it."
"It's not that I like it, it's just that it's the single thing the kids bring every time. Beside the cooked food, it's the only snack that doesn't make me sick."
"Ah… Yeah, I know what you mean. I felt sick at first, too, when we switched to solid foods. Snacks were exceptionally hard to digest," Tao said.
"Couldn't tell you had a problem," M-21 teased.
"Oi." Takeo called him to take the bag, since his colleague obviously didn't even register it hovering next to him.
"I worked on it diligently." Tao took a mouthful of his beverage. "Ramyun and all the other stuff tasted so divine the first time we had it. Couldn't control myself. Actually, I didn't think much about it 'cause, heck, Hammer stuffed himself with normal food on daily bases while he was on pills. Hmm… Isn't it strange how Dr Aris allowed that?"
"… He was in a better mood if he could chew on something." Takeo uttered calmly.
"Mm, true," Tao huffed. "Anyway, I regretted ever opening my mouth later that night. Threw up most of the stuff. Here I am, though, back for seconds. Am I tenacious or what?"
"I see." At last, M-21 took the bag from Takeo and popped it open. He used a smidgen of force, yet the little "French fries" burst out of the plastic bag like fireworks. (Did he just make a mistake in adjusting his strength?)
"It's working," Tao blinked, mouth agape in surprise.
"I'm not drunk," M-21 hissed like somebody prodded him with a long sharp stick. "We've barely even started!"
"Ok, sure, here. This one's on me." Tao seized his glass and emptied the bottle with a chuckle.
"Tao…" Takeo sighed.
Their hacker was definitely turning this into a competition as a method of tempting. M-21 will never stop now when his pride is on the line. This was turning out to be fun. Funny.
"You drink too, asshole, I'mma run you over." M-21 ordered Takeo, being full of himself, the sass overflowing.
"Right… You're on," Takeo shrugged with a mysterious smile. (Why hide it when he's being successfully manipulated too?) He honestly wondered if he could reach his limit like M-21 most certainly will if Tao continued to be in charge of the alcohol flow. (Ah, well… Let the evil mastermind do his worst.)
"I see you've found Umaibo," Tao pointed at the gaudy looking package of the sweet Takeo was gingerly holding in his hand. "There's also Pocky. Um… next to the pretzels. I think?" When Takeo didn't react, Tao added softly. "Those are Japanese snacks. Found them in a market store near Ye Ran. You're not really interested in junk food, but I thought you might like those."
Takeo tilted his head so that his hair could hide most of his face. He gave a faint answer, which was a lie: "I know."
The writing on the package was a bit different from Korean, but Takeo didn't recognise it as his mother language. It's been a long time since he last spoke in Japanese, and even more since he wrote it or read it. He could still remember the basics of speech, but there was no doubt he forgot how to write and read, if he was ever even literate. He was not Japanese anymore. Japanese…
"She…" He thought while it hurt to breathe. "How stupid. You are so stupid."
"Takeo?" They watched their sniper take the bottle of alcohol and drain it of its content. When there was not even a drop left to drink he returned it on the table. His thoughts were far away. Tao said the drink was bitter; to Takeo it had a sweet aftertaste. He didn't really like it, but didn't care at this point. That woman was persistently trying to ruin his evening. His life.
"Teira… isn't a Japanese name. Taira… yeah, but Teira? Was that… Did she make a mistake?" Familiar weakness crept up his spine and he shook his head almost violently; he needed to stop. There was no mistake, she just didn't care, and for all he knew, maybe it was done on purpose to make the whole thing even more demeaning and insane. Takeo needed to stop caring too. He needed to quit trying to puzzle it all into making sense. There was no sense. It was so absurd in fact that if he could sneer at himself he would. Having super vision made him blind. "She wasn't Japanese. She wasn't even Asian."
M-21 nodded with his head in his hand. He was relieved their gunman finally realised it.
Neither Tao nor he were ready to point it out. (Oh, how many times did he wanted to point it out.) The natural red hair, the yellowish Caucasian eyes, her age. No matter how young she tried to look, when she frowned in a fit of psychotic rage, you could see wrinkles all over her features. She was older than she let on. Older than her supposedly older brother. He bet they had never even spoken in Japanese when they were playing house, which is something you would expect to be the norm. M-21 could only imagine how it made Tao restless when he searched for information about her. It was pure miracle Frankenstein didn't shove the clues in Takeo's face with a cheeky grin on top.
"Brainwashing… Damn," M-21 thought. He never considered himself lucky, yet he was so glad his memory was whipped clean rather than toyed with. (She was so dead the next time she runs into him.)
Takeo opened a new bottle. Frankenstein sure had a lot of free bottles laying around. (How many did he give them, anyway?)
"Well… Here's to Teira. A… dead dream," Takeo raised his bottle.
There was so many emotions clashing with each other in his eyes. On the other hand, his face and body radiated peace. Finality was present in his voice. It will take a lot more work to get over Teira, but this was a good start.
"Cheers to that," M-21 knocked his glass on the bottle, almost missing it entirely.
"Darn it, what's with this lousy coordination? Shouldn't it take time for this thing to kick in?" M-21 thought; it was affecting him faster than Tao predicted it would. If any of them noticed, they were considerate enough not to comment on it. It somehow pissed him off as much as it made him feel nice.
"Cheeerssss!"
The party continued with a completely different mood.
It was cheerful, it was familiar and it was safe. As usual, they were in such good fortune for having Tao to organise these type of things, otherwise their lives would be empty and boring. Boredom left a lot of space for a mind to wander to its dark places, and God knew they had them more than they can take. If it weren't for Tao, they would had missed out on so many little, unimportant, uneventful things. Things that made humans, human.
As he suspected, M-21 had lower tolerance to poisons and drugs than the other two. Alcohol being Frankenstein's magical potion didn't help him in the matter whatsoever. (Not that he was complaining.) At one point, he let go of his pride, which proved to be one of the smartest ideas he ever had.
Being drunk was very interesting. He was hot and his head felt like a floating stack of hay set on fire. Oddly, that made him… Giddy. His limbs moved on his own even though they felt limp, which must have looked funny. It surely was funny how the space was bending on one side, as if the gravity was shifting. He knew he couldn't make a coherent sentence when his tongue felt this numb and he still wanted to convey to the onlookers how it all was so. Much. Damn. Fun. It was so not like being drugged, even though some of the symptoms were similar. He felt no fear; he didn't feel pathetic and disgusted by himself. He didn't feel wide open for everyone to see. He felt no shame, nor was he resentful, full of twisted thoughts about revenge.
Giddy and… Happy? Either this alcohol was the best drug that ever played with his brain, making him unmindful of the cruel reality that he was most certainly a part of, or… He was feeling this calm due to the company. Let it be the later.
It was. It had to be.
It was.
"Oh, boy, M-24 would laugh so hard if he could see me right now. A huge guy like him would had been the last man standing in this little showdown. No one could compare, not even Frankenstein… Pfff…" He thought and giggled because, ok, alcohol was now really messing with him.
M-24 would had been one of those cute guys oblivious of the fact how cool and mighty they were. M-57 would had been good at drinking too. The older man gave off that kinda macho aura, with his brawny arms, long hair and a beard and a tiny tattoo on his chest. He must had been in some motorbike gang or something before he got caught by the Union. Yep, M-57 would had known how to hold his liquor and he would have taught M-21 how to do it too. M-03 would pester them about it, for sure. If M-24 was a big brother figure, then M-03 would had taken the role of the group's father… Nah… more like mother. He would have kept them in check with a stern glare behind those glasses.
"…Ppfffftt… So bossy… 3, ya… nag-gy-ggh…" M-21 slurred his words, with his head resting on the table. He gave up on trying to stand after he stumbled on a flat surface when Tao asked him to fetch him something. (That twerp, he did that on purpose, there wasn't even anything to bring.)
"You're so wasted, you're not even aware of your surroundings. You're so gonna get killed if an enemy shows up at the door. You wouldn't even be able to fight your way out of a plastic bag. Except, an enemy would have to go through Tao and Takeo… and withstand the wrath of the master of the house and his master... Hehehehehe!" M-21 heard his funny thoughts.
All is cool.
The feeling was so refreshing.
And somehow… sad.
"You ok, pal?"
"… Like 3… ya, I'mma old enough-to-drinkgh… s' bug-gh-bog, booger-er off…" He waved away Tao's hand. "So- damn… p- protective, like 24… why didja… you sacrificial ass-esss… 3, 57, 24 why-didja get in tha way…?"
"Hey, M, it's ok, pal," Tao tapped him softly on top of his head.
"Like… ya… two idiots…" M-21 grabbed Tao's hand, his forehead still glued to the table. "I'mma kill-ya… if-ya-get in-a way…"
"Ok, buddy, it's a deal, cross our hearts." While patting his hair, Tao actually made a cross with his long finger across his chest, as if M-21 could see it.
"Ugh… fuck…" (There was no way in hell he was getting moist-eyed, was it…? Ok, note to self, never drink again, even if they call you a pussy for it.) M-21 hid his face behind his arms and managed to suck it up. He lost his pride, he ain't losing his dignity too.
"He should sleep." M-21 heard the voice of their sniper, which sounded different than usual. Those two numbskulls guzzled their booze and the rest of M-21's share and still weren't fazed by it at all. (Or so he thought.) Takeo's movements were getting slower. Sluggish. He was blinking. A lot. And trying to hide the fact that he was sleepy by ruffling his hair every two minutes.
"Hehe, is that your limit, Takeo?" M-21 laughed inwardly. "You're dead drunk, you snob. Fast metabolism, my ass. This is Frankenstein we're talking about."
"Ke, he, hehehe…"
"Hmm, I guess he's fine." After hearing the ominous laughter, Tao slumped against his chair with his hand still tangled in M-21's hair. "What about you?"
"There are too many machines in this house," Takeo said in a low voice. He completely lost control of his super hearing. His head was full of buzzing, clicking, humming and ticking and… padding. Frankenstein was still awake, which was unusual at this hour. (Was he on standby in case they needed him?) Takeo will never be able to get used to this looking after business. "I swear to God, Tao, if you scavenge any more of them…"
"What does it feel like?"
"Mm. Don't know. Was nice at first. Now my head is burning. Don't even wanna try walking."
"You think you'll slam into walls?"
"An' break them," Takeo's hand fell of his cheek. "… Don't wanna die."
Tao had a pure smile on his face; hearing Takeo say that even as a joke was a triumph.
"No worries there. Precaution measures, remember? That's why we're in the training room."
"How on earth are you still sober?" Takeo slowly opened his eyes. "You… You drank just as much- More even."
"Dunno. Guess they installed some off switches to protect my processor from any temptations," Tao tapped his temple. He spread out his fingers and took a long look at his nails still polished in matte black. "I'm not sure how they did the nerve rewiring, or how it affected my bloodstream. Maybe all I'll ever feel is numbness."
"So… you do feel somethin'." Takeo treaded on the words carefully. Maybe it was just him not being himself because of the booze, but Tao's face looked blankly inscrutable.
"Only in the toes," Tao pulled up his leg so that Takeo could see it and shook his foot. "No career as a ballerina for me." He was sitting normally again, his gaze fallen. "Bummer."
Takeo tried so hard to think of what to say… Debating with himself whether he should say anything at all. He choose such a lousy moment to be intoxicated. One of his best friends… His little brother… needed comforting and he was being bloody useless.
"Buuut," Tao breathed. "Perhaps I should be grateful. Seeing how it's affecting you two, my brain would have probably splattered to bits." He gave him a reassuring smile. "Don't be a tattletale and tell the boss, ok? He told me he diluted the beverage, so that we wouldn't harm ourselves. He usually drinks it stronger, but never as much to waste himself enough to lose his mind… Hmm… interesting choice of words… Lose his mind… Anyhow… Don't tell on me, or there's a chance he'll make me try the real stuff, and I honestly wanna pass on that one."
"Deal," Takeo agreed after a moment of silence.
Tao seemed to have recovered, in two seconds flat. And he was once believed to be the weakest of the DA5, always underestimated and disdained by others. If anyone was a strong individual in every sense of the word – that was Tao. Takeo could only aspire to be like him – unyielding and free.
"You should take a nap."
"Can't without my gun," he said sleepily massaging his forehead. "Left it upstairs."
"You still sleep with one?"
"Habit." And many more things he was not in the mood to get into. He was improving, though, not carrying it around all the time.
"We're in the hangar that could probably survive the nuclear blast. I'm fine and fully awake. You should take my offer and learn from M," Tao stroked his silver hair as if M-21 was a fragile puppy. The fellow ex-human was in deep sleep, his chest moving in a steady rhythm.
"What about your two hours of sleep?" Takeo's head unconsciously slipped and leaned on the table next to the unwrapped Umaibo sweet. In the end, he couldn't bring himself to eat it; having it close was more than enough.
"I'll have my rest in the morning when you two come to."
"Mm…" Tao was skilled in arguing, that was no secret. Takeo could play hard to get as a last resort if he wanted to. (He really didn't.)
"You know what this means, Takeo, right?" Tao asked suddenly and the gunman put a lot of effort to open his eyes again.
"Hmm?"
"You two need to take risks and enjoy yourselves more. For me."
Takeo didn't know what to say. (There was nothing to say, was it?) Before he could process the thought, his fingers moved on their own. He made a sloppy small cross across his chest.
"Wrong side," Tao snorted in a childish laughter.
"Shuddup…"
Author's notes – part 2
Well, there you have it. One big juicy chapter. Hope you enjoyed it.
The comic kind of glossed over the whole brainwashing thing which was disappointing to me. They didn't have to go too dark and deep with it I just wanted them to explore it a little. I thought that plot point had a lot of potential and when it was firstly introduced it blew me away. That was the first time I sincerely believed that those people from the Union are twisted and evil beyond repair and I feared them for it.
I really, really want those snacks. Besides Pocky and Mochi (daifuku), I had no opportunity to try any of the Asian junk food (there aren't many stores in my country that sell that stuff). I need to put that on my to-do list.
See ya!
