6/27/07: Minor Revisions
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It was on a dreary night in November (it was storming too), Felix's mom, also known as Beverly, stormed into Felix's room and screamed at the top of her lungs, "Felix, wake up! You lazy idiot! If you don't get up, that boulder will never get a chance to kill you, I'll do it myself!"
Felix, bleary-eyed from sleep sat up and said, "I think you need some anger management." Beverly looked thoughtful for a minute, then smiled and said, "I did take some classes. They helped a lot."
Felix, looking nervous, gulped. Beverly yelled at him to get going, so he leaped from his bed and ran strait into the wall. As they headed down the stairs, they realized that there were no stairs to go down, and gravity followed through. They fell to the floor below. Beverly was extremely angry, to say the least, and screamed about someone moving the stairs while smashing a few glass objects.
Felix's dad, whose name, for our purposes, is Bingo, chose to walk in at that unfortunate moment. Beverly screamed the question of the missing stairs at him. He promptly answered, "Oh those stairs were such a nuisance, so I just moved them so they wouldn't be in the way anymore."
Steam began to come out of Beverly's ears as she said "I'LL KILL YOU!"
Felix quickly said, "Let's go!", avoiding a possible nuclear explosion and the death of his father. The trio left the house, and Bingo started to head north, in the opposite direction of the safe zone.
Beverly becomes curious as to where he thought he was going and interrogated him. "Just where do you think you're going?"
Bingo helpfully answered, "Just going to help the villagers evacuate, ma'am." Beverly snorted. "Not without me, you're not! I wouldn't trust you with evacuating the chickens!" His parents abandoned him.
Felix began to whimper. "What about me?" he sobbed. "Oh, I'll just head this way because I'm sure there will be some conveniently placed boulders blocking my way." He began to walk north, and saw his sister Jenna. "Hey, what's up?" he said.
Jenna looked frustrated. "I'm trying to pull this big chest of Garet's stuff over here!" she answered. Felix looked confused. "What on EARTH for!"
Jenna pondered this for a minute, then sputtered, "Because, because…I DON'T KNOW!" She started sobbing. "All I wanted in life was to-" Felix interrupted her. "Ok, let's go." They raced down the large stairway that was nearby only to see that their friend Isaac was hanging on for dear life in the river! Garet, who was standing on the pier, yelled, "Nooooooo! My…uh…Isaac! Best buddy!" Isaac blew bubbles – er – drowned. Garet mumbled under his breath, "This is so stupid…". Dora sighed. "Well, since we can't save him, we'll have to leave him to his death." Kyle, who was too busy drawing stick figures in the mud to realize what was happening just shrugged. Bingo, who was also oblivious, yelled, "Hurray!" Beverly scowled and said to Dora and Kyle, "Well, I'm going to go find some help, since your morons are clearly unable to bother saving your only son. Just make sure stupid here", motioning to Bingo, "stays out of trouble." Kyle just shrugged again. Beverly grabbed Garet's arm, pushes him off towards town, then stomped off and promptly ran into Felix and Jenna.
"Well, what are you two morons just standing around for! Do something!" Beverly screeched. Felix blinked. "Like….what?" "Go help Garet! He's too stupid to figure out what to do on his own." Beverly fumed. Felix just blinked again. "Not like you two will be much help" she grumbled. Felix grabbed Jenna and dragged her off before she could attack Beverly. They sauntered down the path and tripped over Garet who was on the ground asleep. Felix poked him. Garet blinked. "Oh yea! I found this guy who'll help save Isaac from bubble- I mean – from drowning!" Felix scowled. "Well, where is he?" Garet glanced around. "Err…I think he's already over there!" Jenna began to look as if she would explode. The trio hurried back to where Isaac could meet his untimely demise.
"Wouldn't it be crazy if the boulder fell just as we got over there?" Felix asked. "Yea, that could be ironic" Jenna replied. "Or is it coincidental?"
As they approached the bridge, a loud crash was heard. The boulder raced towards them down the river. Felix, Garet and Jenna all screamed like little girls. Isaac drowned, along with his parents and Bingo, as far as we know. And up on the hilltop, where the boulder fell from, an Elder came out from behind a tree, feeling refreshed. "Ahh, much better." Then, looking down at the destruction below him, snickered and said, "Whoops! Sorry 'bout that!"
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