Pessimist or pragmatist?
Estellio
Rating: Pg (gasp not pg-13 for a change!)
Warnings: Angsty, I'm incapable of writing happy things anymore
Summary: Sometimes it becomes too much and even the bravest lose hope. Sometimes their hope loses them.
A/N: I'm actually looking for a beta for a SGA fic I'm writing. It's a comedy but I'm finding it hard to judge my own writing so I want feedback on it from someone. Just pm me or email me :)
IOIOIO
"You know what you are, Rodney, you're just a pessimist." Sam growled, slamming her fist into the table and glaring at him. Rodney didn't even have the heart to glare back.
"There's nothing I can do, Carter." He sighed, his shoulders slumping. "I've run out of 'get out of jail free cards'."
"You're not even trying!" She shouted, completely shaken by McKay's despondency. She refused to believe there was no way out, she refused to believe there was no hope.
"What's the point?" He shouted suddenly, his face contorting with the vehemence of his words. "What are we fighting for, Sam? Tell me that?"
"We're fighting for our lives, we're fighting for Atlantis!"
"Atlantis." He grimaced. "Answer me this. Is it worth it?" The hollowness in his eyes took her aback; she had never seen such empty sorrow before in her life. To be honest, she had never really paid that close attention to Rodney. He had always just been snark and brilliance to her. She had never looked for any depth, any feeling and now she was overwhelmed by the absence of it. This was a man who had somehow, somewhere, lost his soul. "What is it that makes this place worth fighting for?"
"If the Wraith get to Earth –." She began but his barked laugh cut her off.
"Why not blow the city up? Then they'd never find Earth. Zelenka designed a virus that would wipe the database, why not do that?"
"Are you crazy?" Sam hissed. "Think of all the knowledge we'd lose! Think of all that we've gained, all that we stand to gain from this city." A bang on the door caught her attention and she turned to face it, urgency gripping her now more than ever. "Rodney!"
"Is it worth it?" He asked quietly.
"What?"
"Do you think it's worth it?" He asked again, looking up.
"Worth what?" Sam asked, frantic to try and get through to him. They were running out of time.
"The body count." He said finally, his mouth setting into a hard line. The door shuddered again. "The misery." It opened an inch. "The ruined lives of so many people." The door opened another inch and she could see the Wraith milling about outside.
"Rodney." She pleaded, knowing it was already too late. The Wraith had found them and there was no where to run.
"I'd rather be a happy fool than a perpetually mourning super genius." He grabbed Sam by the arm and pulled her around the console to him as the door opened enough to let a Wraith in. At first, Sam though he had completely lost it and had decided to die embracing her, but that thought was discarded when he threw her to the floor and covered her with his own body as a loud explosion shook the room. He got up, looking over the edge of the console cautiously, the grenade pin still dangling from his index. "I'm a pragmatist, not a pessimist. Now lets get to the jumper bay. I have an idea." He smiled at Sam and helped her up. He hadn't lost his soul, just misplaced it, and he was eager to get back to her.
IOIOIO
A/N: Make of this fic what you will, I just sat down and it came out of my finger tips some day. There's some Mcweir if you squint and tilt your head to one side and stand on one leg.