Hello and greetings! (To those who know me) I haven't written anything for a long while so probably no one remembers me. Anywho, this story is about Biggs and Wedge, two of my favorite characters in FFVIII (along with Griever and Edea), and what happened to them after the game. So enjoy. Disclaimer: I don't own any of the FFVIII characters or other stuff, which all belong to Square.

The Star Wars Couple

Chapter 1: Bad Idea

It was a beautiful night in Deling City, Galbadia. Dogs were barking, car horns were honking, thieves were breaking into apartments, and women were screaming in back alleys (you know, the typical horror movie "AAAAAH!" scream). A man in a blue soldier's uniform sat in the little corner of his tiny apartment that was the least cobweb-infested. He was wondering, "How the heck did I get into this mess? It was those Balamb Garden jerks' fault! If it weren't for them I'd still be in the army, being yelled at by some pig-faced officer. I wouldn't be happy, but at least I'd still have my job."

Suddenly, the door slammed open, accompanied by an angry "Hey! Quiet up there!" from the floor below. "Hey Wedge! I got us a job!" said the man, who was wearing a red officer's uniform. (In case you're wondering, they're still in their uniforms because they don't have/can't afford other clothes).

"Is it like the last…thirteen jobs we had?" asked Wedge, pausing to count.

"Why? What was wrong with our jobs?" said Biggs.

"Hello! We were 'escorts'!" said Wedge, the asterisks falling neatly into place. "The only more humiliating thing than that was the fact that the only woman who would take us was that fat lady with the freaky scar. And need I remind you that she turned out to be the serial murderess who killed all her husband's ex-girlfriends!"

"Well, so what? That was only one job."

"The one before that: working in a slaughterhouse. And before: research targets for new magic spells. Circus freaks, punching bags, sewer cleaners! I can't take it anymore!"

"I love you," pleaded Biggs, giving Wedge an adorable look.

"Sigh… So what's the job?"

"Acting!"

"Acting?"

"Acting! We play some villains who've taken the hero's friend's girlfriend to the Island Closest to Hell. They promised us 2500 gil each!" And so, Biggs and Wedge followed the crew to the Island Closest to Hell. Most of the days passed without much ceremony. The movie involved some unheard of actors who couldn't act, cardboard props, and a crabby, effeminate director who kept trying to stare at Biggs's behind. Fortunately, they weren't bothered much by the monsters inhabiting the island, who found them of no interest. "Hahaha! You'll never defeat me, you adolescent pretty boy! I have your Sword of Justice and your Shield of Light, the source of all your powers! Mwahahahaha!" droned Biggs.

"Cut! No no NO! Mr. Biggs, you're doing it all wrong! Change your pose so it's more dramatic! Try a different angle! Turn more towards the left! There, much better," shouted the director, who now had a nice, clear view of Biggs's caboose. He stared.

"Wedge, he's doing it again!" whined Biggs, shooting his friend a pleading glance.

"Mister director guy, I want to talk to you about the scene with the ruby dragon," sighed Wedge half-heartedly. Half an hour later, the cast was practicing the ruby dragon scene.

"Bring in the dragon!" yelled the director. A very real-looking ruby dragon crawled onto the set.

"Wow! That's pretty good! I thought you said this was a low budget movie," said Biggs.

"Um, sir. That's a real dragon," said Wedge, who was slowly edging away.

"Don't be ridiculous. Look, you can see how the joints are obviously fa-" The ruby dragon roared and almost incinerated the leading actress. "Um… Okay, time to run now." The panicking cast and crew stampeded to their vessel and were about to take off when the dragon blocked Biggs and Wedge's path.

"Sorry, gotta run! Shame to lose such a fine-looking man, Mr. Biggs. Mr. Wedge, I think you have a nice ass, too," shouted the director as the vessel sped away towards the horizon.

"HEY! You can't leave us here! Come back! COME BACK!" screamed Wedge. Beside him, Biggs was shaking like a Playstation controller during Ifrit's summon animation.

"Well, this is it Wedge. It's been great knowing you. Let's fight to the end like true soldiers," said Biggs.

"Sir, we're not soldiers anymore," replied Wedge.

"Shut up. Take this, you overgrown iguana! Firaga!"

"Sir, no!"

The spell, naturally, had no effect on the dragon. It merely seemed to make it angry.

At the bottom of an oceanside cliff, we see an unconscious Biggs and Wedge fly over and into the water.

o--o

The End. Just kidding! I don't write angst/tragedy. So I hope you like the first chapter so far, cause I'm gonna write more. And I realize the ruby dragon thing was stolen from what happened to Laguna, but it was just so funny I wondered what it would be like with Biggs and Wedge! And the part where they keep saying "acting" sounded like the intro to some creepy Mary Poppins song. Anyway review and read and review again!