Let me be clear: this is not a serious story. This is just the result of reading so many Lord Gary Stu stories that I am now really annoyed and decided to write a parody. There's nothing wrong with independent!Harry, except for when he turns into a hypocritical bully and acts just like Malfoy while crapping on him for acting the way he does, such as Losing Control by jackpotr. That story started out alright but then chapter 14 nearly made me puke, what with how he treated the other Gryffindors. I was disappointed when it turned into another clichéd, independent!Harry, Lord Gary Stu fic because it started out with a lot of promise. Enough rambling, on with this parody!
"I now bring this session of the Wizengamot to order!" Cornelius Fudge announced, banging his gavel. But before he could say anything more, the chamber door flew open. Everyone's heads turned to see one Harry James Potter strolling into the courtroom, a lazy, cocky smirk on his face. He was totally certain that he would be able to bend these weak-minded idiots to his will.
And then I can truly change the wizarding world, Harry thought to himself. Either they change or I'll do it for them!
"Mr Potter," Albus Dumbledore said in a grandfatherly voice. "May I ask what you are doing here instead of at Hogwarts?"
"I've come to claim what's rightfully mine, old man," Harry smirked. A few Wizengamot members gaped at the sheer arrogance of the young man standing in front of them and Albus was thinking of how much of a field day Severus would have. He constantly claimed that the lad was his arrogant father reincarnated, after all, and Harry's behaviour seemed to confirm this.
"And I believe you have just breached proper decorum," Harry continued lazily. "You must address me as Lord Potter-Black-Malfoy-Gryffindor-Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff-Slytherin-Peverell-Evans-Draven-le Fay-Emrys. However, I will allow you to simply address me as Lord Potter."
"Then I ask that you also follow proper decorum and address me as Chief Warlock or Lord Dumbledore," Albus said with a pleasant smile. Harry shot him a death glare but Albus was technically in the right and he knew it.
"Very well, Chief Warlock," Harry spat out. Albus smiled in triumph of his small victory.
"How are you Lord Malfoy?" someone shouted. "The Malfoys are still alive and you have no claim!"
"I ask that you address me with the proper respect!" Harry snapped in the general direction.
"Next time, please raise your hand in the correct manner if you wish to ask a question!" Cornelius said. "But that is a legitimate question, Lord Potter. How are you Lord Malfoy?"
Harry smirked, a smirk that was quickly becoming hated by the entire Wizengamot. Something would have to be done to put this arrogant arsewipe in his place! Well, that was the general thought of everybody, just not in such language.
"Well, seeing as dear Lucy was killed last month, I have the closest claim," Harry said.
"What about Draco Malfoy?" Cornelius questioned.
"Oh, let's just say that he's had a little lesson about Muggle history," Harry said. "If I am correct, he got to meet Jack the Ripper in person last night!" Hardly anybody knew what Jack the Ripper was but everybody was certain that Draco was dead and who had done it. However Harry had an alibi, having been seen with his uppity, jumped-up Mudblood girlfriend last night (who had become just as arrogant as him, what with all of her knowledge and her new lady status. This was why pure-bloods hated marrying Muggle-borns; because they got too full of themselves) but nobody doubted that Harry had somehow arranged for this to happen. Since there was no proof, however, they could not do anything about it for now.
"And since the Malfoy family is patriarchal, dear Cissy can't claim the title," Harry continued, still smirking. "So who does that leave to claim it? Me – the current Lord Black!"
"Lord Potter, I ask that you show respect to the Malfoy family and behave in accordance with the rules of this chamber," Albus said. "There is to be no gloating about anything. This rule was recently put into effect after many a bloody fight occurred when one member of this court boasted about their achievements and offended another."
Harry just cocked an eyebrow.
"May I ask what you are doing here, Lord Potter?" Cornelius said. Harry fixed him with a glare.
"Why are you here after you messed up the whole Voldemort business?" he said menacingly. "I thought you were voted out as Minister!"
"Continuity errors," Cornelius replied with a shrug. "I need to be Minister for this meeting so the author kept me on as Minister for a little while longer."
"Very well," Harry said. "Now, I have come before this illustrious body today to claim my seats! I believe that I inherit seats from twelve families? However, the Founders, Merlin, Morgana and Peverells held two seats each so I believe that is an extra seven seats for me."
"You can't have that much power! There would be no point in having a Wizengamot if one person could decide the case!" someone called.
"Please raise your hand when you wish to speak!" Albus said sternly. "But Lord Selwyn is correct, Lord Potter. Such power with one person defeats the whole purpose of the Wizengamot."
"I don't care about that," Harry said. "That's not my problem – the goblins said I was perfectly within my rights to inherit all of these seats and so I am. You have no right to speak either, Chief Warlock, since you claimed my seat illegally and continue to vote with it against my wishes! So if there are no more interruptions, I will continue."
Albus suddenly smiled.
"I'm afraid you can't do that, Lord Potter," he said. "A wizard must be of his majority to claim his seats."
"I'm emancipated, you old fool," Harry sneered.
"Lord Potter! Please address the Chief Warlock with the proper respect!" Cornelius ordered. Harry ignored him.
"Nonetheless, I'm emancipated," he said. "So give me my seats so that I can start changing the wizarding world!"
"You can't force change on us!" a witch called shrilly. "We have the right to act how we want!" Harry smirked.
"Either you'll change or I'll do it for you," he said.
"Lord Potter!" Amelia Bones said, shocked. "What you are saying sounds like a dictatorship! You cannot force everybody to obey you!"
"Dictatorship? You're saying that it isn't one now with him in charge?" Harry said, nodding at an indignant Cornelius.
"Regardless of his status, the Minister must run all ideas past us and we vote as a majority!" Amelia said. "We are a democracy, not a dictatorship!"
"Whatever," Harry said. "Just hurry up and give me my seats, won't you? I have an appointment with the goblins after this and they don't appreciate tardiness."
"That is not possible, Lord Potter," Albus said. "While you may be emancipated, there is a law that does not allow a wizard to claim his seat – or seats – until he is of his majority, regardless of emancipation or not. This was put into effect to ensure that a wizard was mature enough to handle the power he wields in this court."
"Doesn't the fact that I'm emancipated signify that I'm mature?" Harry said impatiently.
"A parent or guardian may have several reasons for emancipating their child," Albus said. "It does not necessarily show that the child is mature. And judging by how you are acting, I would have to disagree with your assessment of your maturity." Harry swelled.
"How dare you? I am Lord Harry Potter-Black-Malfoy-Gryffindor-Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff-Slytherin-Peverell-Evans-Draven-le Fay-Emrys! Nobody talks to me in such a manner!" he shouted.
"This is exactly why the law was put into place!" Cornelius said. "Now, Lord Potter, if that is all your business here today?"
"I demand to claim my seats!" Harry raged.
"The law will not permit you to, Lord Potter!" Albus said, finally at the point of using his loud voice. Everybody knew that he was getting exasperated. "To allow you to claim your seats before your majority would break our laws, which you claim we are guilty of!"
Harry stood there, a stunned, enraged look on his face. Nobody had ever dared to speak to him in such a way! Well, except for Severus, but he would learn his lesson soon enough.
"If we break our laws to allow you to claim your seats, we become exactly what you accuse us to be!" Amelia said. "You will have to wait, Lord Potter. Your birthday is in eight months, is it not?"
Harry was pale with rage.
"You will pay for defying me!" he whispered. "All of you! When I make some changes in this world, all of you will pay!" He turned on his heel and stormed out, no doubt to rage to rage to his wife (who many didn't know how he had married, considering that he was only sixteen) and many advisors who liked to hold his hand and suck up to him.
"I propose that we pass a law that only allows somebody to claim up to two seats!" Lord Selwyn said immediately.
"What will happen to the other seats?" Lady Longbottom (who was acting as proxy for Neville Longbottom until his majority) said.
"Let us work that out later," Lord Greengrass said. "Lord Potter cannot be allowed to claim all of his seats! You heard of his plans for us once he reaches his majority!"
"All in favour of allowing somebody to only claim a maximum of two seats?" Albus said. Everybody raised their hands. "Motion passed!"
That should successfully neuter Harry so that I can gain control over him again, Albus thought. Then I can start to show him the error of his ways, such as today in this chamber. If he is to fight Voldemort, he needs my advice! Look at what happens when he strikes out on his own!
"Now, Chief Warlock, what is this about illegally claiming the Potter seat and other allegations we have heard against you?" Amelia said.
Albus groaned.
Again, this is just a clichéd parody for me to vent my frustration.