Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin. All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N -I have started a few stories and always seem to have trouble deciding where to take them. Thought I'd post a few beginnings and see if anyone is interested in reading more... Feel free to R&R and let me know if you like and if you have any suggestions... Constructive criticism always welcome ;)

This has not been beta'd so sorry for any mistakes

Warnings:

Merthur - This will be an angsty/romantic story and there are references to MalexMale so be warned

This is set after season 3 so beware spoilers for everything up until now

Arthur is a selfish man. He was brought up a selfish child, always getting everything he wanted and always being told that it was his right to expect it to be this way. As the Prince of Camelot and the heir to the throne, no-one would expect Arthur to be any different. However in the last three years he has tried to temper his greed and self-centredness. Mainly down to the fact that his two closest friends were both servants.

"Friends?" Arthur mused as he sat at his desk contemplating his current circumstances. Did he really think of them both as just friends. Arthur knows he loves Gwen. Truly, he really does love her. She is an amazing woman. She's beautiful and sweet and has the kindest heart of anyone he knows, well almost anyone. When Arthur needs her, she is his strength. She gives him the determination and the confidence in himself to do what he needs to do, both when he was a Prince and now as Prince Regent. Arthur does love her. But…

But since that night with Merlin, he wasn't so sure that the love he feels for her is enough. Arthur is now realising that he does not lust after Gwen. It had been with a startlingly horrific awareness that he had realised this after that fateful night. An almost fearful realisation that he did in fact lust after Merlin. Arthur could feel a low heat rising in his chest as he remembered that night and how he had whispered that name in a voice that could only be described as thick and saturated with lust. Arthur shuddered in agitation, wanting to shake himself as well as this thought out of his head. But he could not, the memory of that night, that one drunken and stupid night started to plague his thoughts again.

"No" he thought and stood up, he was being selfish again. He loved Gwen and she meant the world to him, it was just that their relationship was so tame. He could remember the look she had given Lancelot when he and Merlin had rescued them from Hengist. There had been heat in that look and Arthur felt shame that he was no longer convinced that he and Gwen could feel such passion. But he does love her and he needs her selfishly, as she is the one who has always given him the strength and … and hope to do what is right for the people.