A Message
Disclaimer: George Lucas owns everything Star Wars. And seriously, he can keep Jar-Jar.
Sola,
Hello, my dearest sister. If you are reading this now, it means that I've died. Please, understand that danger comes along with the choices that I've made in my life, and I know that. I often think of what it would be like if I were to lose you, how devastating it would be, so I don't expect you to take it well. I only ask that you do not lose one ounce of the effervescent luminosity that I, along with the galaxy, am blessed with. You are truly one in a billion, Sol, and I feel so incredibly lucky to have been born with a sister, friend, confidante, and role model as amazing as you. I only hope that you can forgive me for the awful transgressions against you that I have committed, and my purpose in this letter is to undo all the dishonesty I've been living for the past three years.
Do you remember when you came to my apartment a while ago, that time when you dropped by on an unexpected visit to Coruscant? Ever the big sister, you would travel halfway across the galaxy just to check on me, to make sure that I was doing okay. After you came in you asked if I was expecting anyone, and I stupidly and obviously lied. Of course, as with any lie, I was soon after revealed as a liar once Master Skywalker arrived. After he awkwardly left, you asked me what was going on, and I asked you to ask me no questions, for I didn't want to have to lie to you. Goodness, Sola, you just accepted it. Every other person in the universe would have tortured the answers out of me, but you just let it go. Honestly, you're so amazing, you really have no idea.
Now, I appreciate your respect and your discretion, as I know how difficult it must have been. I hope, then, that you can understand how difficult my life has been for the past three years. You'll never understand how incredibly devastating it has been to my soul to know that I was keeping such an important part of my life from the most important people in my life. Master Skywalker, Anakin, and I were together. We've been together since the start of the Clone Wars. We were married in the Lake Country on Naboo. I am so sorry, I wish more than anything that you had been there, I truly needed you. As you know, Jedi are forbidden to marry, which is why I never told you or anyone. You have no idea how lonely I've been; it feels like I've been keeping this secret forever. The knowledge that I will probably die with this heavy weight on my heart is unbearable, but I know I must bear it. If I had known of any other option besides this, I would have taken it gladly. I know you must be disappointed in me, but Sola, please understand that I had no other choices. I tried, I tried so hard to abandon my feelings for Ani, but I wasn't strong enough. I truly love him, more than I've ever loved anything in my life. I would sacrifice anything for him, and I cannot exist without his love. I know you'll be angry with him for the lie that his circumstances have forced me to perpetuate, but he is truly the kindest, noblest man that I have ever known. Treat him kindly, for I don't know what my death will do to him, I honestly don't know how he'll make it through. If I could have waited, could have done something to avoid this I would have, but I just couldn't. Our love changed me, deep within my soul. I needed Ani like I need, air, water. I hope that you can understand that I had no choice, and I hope that knowing that I have felt the irrepressible joy of true love will comfort you in this time of sorrow.
I know it's not much, but in my biometric safe in my apartment I have locked away the few tangible things from our marriage, and I want you to have them. You'll find our marriage certificate, a few hairpins that I wore for the ceremony and a small swatch of fabric from my dress. Also you'll find my two coronation endowments, which I would like you to give to Ryoo and Pooja when the time comes, and another hairpin, the bent one, that saved my life on Geonosis. Hopefully it will bring you luck as it did me. I am so sorry for everything, and as justified as you would be in being furious at me, I know you won't be. After all, you're my wonderful, incredible big sister.
Love you always and forever,
Padme