This is another Sweeney Todd song I put Mr. Todd's thoughts to! Not as great as By the Sea but this song delt more with things you were seeing in the movie so it was more difficult to write, BUT I HAD TO DO IT ANYWAY! My mind wouldn't shut up about it :)
Anyway, Read my newest addition of nonsense I've posted below, Enjoy! :)
Oh, and I dont own the song Worst Pies in London...that lucky Stephen Sondheim does. Not me. Him.
A customer!
Damn! She spotted me!
Wait! What's your rush?
Uh oh, she's walking towards me…
What's your hurry?
Ah ha ha ha…wrong shop…?
You gave me such a...
Such a…? you should finish your sentances, lady.
fright! I thought you was a ghost!
like I haven't heard THAT pale-joke before, Mrs. I-Probably-Haven't-Left-The-House-In-Fifteen-Years!
Half a minute, can't ya sit?
No. I can't.
Sit ya down!
Oi! Don't command me, Crazy Baker!
Sit! *pushes Sweeney in chair*
Hey don't shove! Its not nice!
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks.
That's 'cause you shove people…
Did ya come here for a pie, sir?
Not really, no. I kinda lived here...
Do forgive me if my head's a little vague.
Vague? Soooo…you're a tad crazy, are you?
What is that?
What's what? I'm lost...
But you'd think we had the plague.
Well THAT startling statement came out of nowhere!
From the way that people
Hate plague pies? Yeah, those things tend to kill people.
keep avoiding!
Oh, non literal use of plague, gotcha…
No you don't!
Yes I do Madame Mind-Reader!
Heaven knows I try, sir!
Try? Try what? To NOT be the crazy lady on the corner?
But there's no one comes in even to inhale!
Because you're the crazy lady on the corner…duh.
Right you are, sir, would you like a drop of ale?
I am right, thanks for agreeing. And I guess…?
Mind you I can hardly blame them!
Blame them for what…? My suspicions are now heightened…
These are probably the worst pies in London.
Ew. *pokes pie* Should I pick it up or…?
I know why nobody cares to take them!
Because there's mold on them. I don't eat…mold.
I should know!
Well if you know, why don't you FIX IT?
I make them!
Unfortunately! Where's Paula Dean when you need her y'all?
But good? No...
Not at all.
The worst pies in London...
You don't even have to eat every pie in London to know that's a fact…
Even that's polite! The worst pies in London!
*sniff* Yeah. that's mold.
If you doubt it take a bite!
Ok…I'm kinda nervous about this but, here I go!
Is that just, disgusting?
Good. Lord. My boyfriend in prison tasted better than this!
You have to concede it!
I'm gonna puke. Seriously.
It's nothing but crusting!
I'm spitting this out. RIGHT. NOW.
Here drink this, you'll need it.
The only thing that will wash the taste out is acid!
The worst pies in London
Please tell me this is strong liquor or acid.
And no wonder with the price of meat
*looks in mug* Aaannddd, It's ale. Oh joy.
what it is
Stop saying things without subjects! Yeah, I went to your bad grammar. Deal with it.
when you get it.
GET WHAT? My infuriation level is quite high right now...and not the drug induced high.
Never thought I'd live to see the day.
When some one ate your pie and liked it? You'll probably die before that happens…
Men'd think it was a treat
Eating your pies? Please say no.
findin' poor
Seriously woman, finish your sentences!
animals
Again: SENTENCES!
what are dyin' in the street.
You put…animals in your pies? that's sick, lady.
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop.
Does she have crappy pies like you, too?
Does a business, but I notice something weird.
Her pies AREN'T being used as a gag-reflex test? Unlike SOMEONE'S...
Lately, all her neighbors cats have disappered
SHE USES KITTIES?
Have to hand it to her!
Hand her the keys to the loony bin!
What I calls,
Wrong? Immoral? Gross? Just plain all-around not niceness?
enterprise!
...what.
Poppin' pussies into pies!
THAT'S enterprise to you! This place is even crazier than when I left!
Wouldn't do in my shop!
Oh, PHEW!
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick!
Never mind, you're cool in my book, Mrs.…ah, Lovett is it?
And I'm telling you them pussycats is quick.
WOAH, WOAH, WOAH! BACKTRACK! You've TRIED that? Well I just took back what I said one line ago!
No denying times is hard, sir!
I don't care how hard times are! Kitties have done nothing to you to deserve that! *sniffle*
Even harder than the worst pies in London.
Wow really? that's actually quite impressive…
Only lard and nothing more-
Lard? But I'm trying to watch my figurrrreee!
Is that just revolting?
Yep.
All greasy and gritty?
Definitely.
It looks like it's molting!
UH-GREED!
And tastes like...we'll pity.
That's what pity taste like? Well I wont be tasting THAT ever again!
A woman alone...with limited wind
Um, dropping hints much?
And the worst pies in London!
I don't care about the deliciousness state of your pies, I'm not going to sleep with you.
Ah, sir
Yes?
Times is hard.
Is this an innuendo of some sort?
Times is hard.
…just to be clear: I'm NOT sleeping with you.
So how was it? not great, as I said above but I really want some feedback! I'm going to do a couple more songs (from Mrs. Lovett's and possibly Toby's POV) so I REALLY wanna know what you cool kids think :)