I sneezed and coughed while waiting for my results in the lab. The woman at the desk typing kept looking at me as I rubbed my head then looked at the results paper coming out of the printer. I took it reading the results then I walked out to Grissom's office. He just hung up the phone as I walked in handing him the results.
I sat down to weak to stand. He read them carefully then looked at me.
"Looks good, you don't however."
"I'm fine." I said, taking the paper out of his hands. I went to the door stopping to look back at him. He was walking towards me with a look of concern. He touched my head and cheeks.
"Honey, you're sick."
I coughed again sniffing.
"I had to finish the case."
"I want you to go home."
"Gris, I am okay."
He sighed looking at me. I put my hand on my head closing my eyes.
"Sara, at least lay down on my couch."
"I have to go and put this into to the computer."
I walked out as he shook his head watching me go. I typed my report up in the computer lab feeling so tired and drained. I laid my head down on my arm letting the exhaustion hit me. Brass walked down the hallway to see Grissom. He waved at Warrick in the breakroom then he walked past the computer lab stopping when he saw me. He walked in touching my arm.
"Sara?"
When I didn't move he moved my hair back touching my neck. The heat coming off me was enough to alarm him. He got his phone out sitting down to the right of me moving my hair back from my face as he waited.
"Grissom."
"It's Jim, I got Sara here past out in the computer lab."
"I'll be right there."
Brass put his phone down then he touched my back rubbing it.
"Honey, wake up."
I breathed in and out slowly as he waited. Grissom appeared looking at his friend then at me.
"I found her like this." Brass said, standing.
Grissom walked over gently lifting me up so I sat up. I let my head roll back against his arm.
"Sara?"
I opened my eyes seeing him.
"Griss…om?"
"Yes, it's me." He said, touching my head.
"I….I'm sorry."
"For what?" He asked
"I….didn't mean to….leave you."
Grissom looked at Brass then back at me.
"You didn't leave me."
"We need to cool her down." Brass said
"Shower." Grissom said
I was lifted up and carried to the locker room. Grissom gently set me in the shower stall turning on the water. I shivered more as the water turned cold. It stopped and I was lifted up again. A big towel was put over me and I sat on the bench. Grissom dried my face touching it as I looked around in a haze.
"She feels cooler." Grissom said "I am taking her home."
Brass nodded helping me up taking me down the hallway to the cars outside. Brass put me inside the passenger seat putting a seat belt around me then he kissed my head.
"Get better."
I felt the door close and I laid my head against it feeling Grissom's eyes on me.
I woke later in bed dressed in my pajamas. I moved to my side still feeling like crap. I closed my eyes starting to drift again.
Grissom came back home later walking into the bedroom seeing me just as he left me in bed sleeping. He turned on the lamp on his side then sat on the bed touching my cheek. He sighed as he felt how much cooler I was.
He got up changing going to the bathroom. I moved as the door shut. Grissom came out freezing when he saw me pointing my gun straight at him as I stood outside the bathroom.
"Sara, what are you doing?"
"Who are you?!"
"It's Grissom." He said "Put the gun down."
"No!" I said "Who are you?!"
"I told you its Grissom."
"I am going to count to three!" I said "One!"
"Sara, its Grissom, your husband!"
"Two!"
"Honey, do you trust me?"
I blinked looking at him. He slowly walked over holding his hand over to grab the gun.
"Grissom?" I said
"Yes, it's Grissom." He said, gently.
I let him take the gun then he put his arm around me pulling me to him.
"It's okay."
I clutched his tee shirt shaking. He put me back on the bed laying down beside me. I grabbed at him as he held me.
He woke later feeling me move around. I moaned a little lying still. He looked at the wrist watch then he laid back down on his side closing his eyes. I moved again lying still on my back.
Grissom opened his eyes looking at me. He moved over closer kissing my head.
"How are you feeling?" He asked
I opened my eyes looking at him. He touched my cheek.
"I feel really drained." I said
"You need to rest."
"Case." I said, opening and closing my eyes.
"No, you're to stay home and rest." He said
"You can't tell me what to do."
"Sara." He said, in his boss tone.
I smiled a little closing my eyes. He got up leaving me to sleep. By the time he came back from work I was up watching TV in a pair of his pajamas. He came in seeing me then he walked over plopping down beside me. I moved over kissing him then I moved to his neck. He laid his head back.
"I take it you're feeling better?"
"Mmhmm."
"Good, there is something we need to talk about."
"What?" I asked, muffled in his neck.
"A friend in Washington D.C. called asking if I would teach at the college there full time."
I moved back looking at him.
"Is this like that sabbatical thing you went on?"
"Sort of, except I would not be coming back."
I sat back with my mouth open staring at him.
"Sara, he just called today. I was considering it, but I wanted to discuss it with you."
I continued to stare at him.
"Say something."
I got up pacing.
"This is great! I get you back and we get married then you are leaving again!"
"Honey, I didn't say yes yet." He said, standing coming to me. "Look, this is an opportunity that needs a few days to decide."
I yanked my arms from his hands.
"Go!"
He watched me go past him grabbing my keys from the hook by the front door.
"Sara!"
"Just go and leave!" I shouted, running out the front door. Grissom looked at the door stunned.
I drove around angry. My phone went off, but I ignored it. I went to Brass's home knocking seeing him open the door still dressed for work.
"Hey, I just got home." He said, letting me inside. "What's going on?"
I shook my head looking down. He looked at me in concern as he shut the door.
"Are you still feeling sick?"
I walked over hugging him. He hugged me feeling me shaking.
"Honey, what is going on?"
I moved back looking at him.
"Can I sleep here?"
"Tell me what happened." He said
"Grissom, wants to go to Washington and teach full time. I left mad."
"He didn't tell me that."
"Dad, I feel like my heart is breaking."
He pulled me against him again as I let my walls down crying. I went to sleep shortly after as Brass rubbed his head looking at his phone just outside his bedroom. He dialed and put the phone to his ear.
"Grissom."
"Gil, I just want you to know I got Sara here."
"I knew she would come to your place."
"She told me what the problem was."
"It's not a problem because I am not going."
"You need to do this. She will be fine here."
Grissom sighed as Brass looked at his door.
"Gil, she knows deep down that you want to do this. She won't stand in your way."
"I know."
Brass said goodbye to him then he went to his room. I woke early going back home. Grissom was still sleeping as I entered the bedroom. I stood by the bed watching him sleep knowing I had to let him do this. Slowly, I climbed over him as he awoke looking up at him.
"Hey." I said
"Hey."
"I want you to go." I said
"No, it was a silly idea."
"No, you need to go. We made this work before. We can again."
"Sara, if this is a problem….I."
I covered his mouth with my hand.
"It's not a problem." I said, replacing my hand with my lips. He kissed me back putting his hands on my waist rolling us over.
Grissom put in his resignation and it was a big blow to the team as well as me. I came into his office a few weeks later seeing boxes all over the place. I sat in a chair looking around as he came in seeing me.
"Tomorrow is the last day." He said
"I see that." I said
He smiled sitting in a chair near me.
"So we need to do your last evaluation."
"Okay."
He nodded getting a paper from his desk then he sat down holding a pen looking at me.
"This year you have improved in everything and I put down that you are a valuable employee that has improved greatly over every aspect of the job." He said, looking at me.
I looked at him with large sad eyes feeling tears starting to form.
"You just need to sign the paper." He said
I quickly signed the paper then I looked down as he put the paper and pen down in his desk then he sat down again.
"Is there anything you want to talk about?"
"I have something to do." I said, getting up.
His hand touched my arm making me stop. I felt a tear go down my cheek. He looked up at me pulling me to sit on him. I looked at him touching his cheek with my hand.
"What can I do?" He asked
I shook my head sniffing.
"Nothing."
He sighed pulling me against him. I touched his coat as he kissed my head smoothing my hair back. He said goodbye to everyone as the close of shift came.
The next morning he carried his bags to the front door as I followed. He turned giving me a small smile.
"You can come with me." He said
"No."
"I'll miss you."
I tried to smile as I walked over hugging him.
"Sara, I love you."
"I love you to." I said
He moved back kissing me. I savored it kissing him till we both needed air. He searched my eyes then let me go to grab his bags leaving. I closed the door behind him closing my eyes as I laid my head on the door.
A few days later I walked up to a house seeing Brass standing at the door.
"The body is in the living room." He said
I nodded going in feeling his hand rub my back. I went in numb doing to job without a word. When I came back out I walked to the Tahoe putting evidence bags and my case away. I closed the door then got into the driver's seat looking ahead. I put my head against the steering wheel for a few minutes. I came back to the lab bringing in the bags I had seeing Catherine walk over with a man.
"Sara Grissom, this is D.B. Russell." She said "He's taking over Grissom's position."
He held out his hand to shake mine. I put down my case and took his.
"Nice to meet you." He said
I gave him a small smile.
"Catherine told me some good things about you."
"I have to take these to evidence. It was nice to meet you to." I said
He nodded as they both watched me go.
"She doesn't look well." D.B. said
"She misses Gil." Catherine said
He nodded watching me walk down the hallway then he followed Catherine. I worked on for hours not wanting to go home. It was time to leave and still I worked in the lab. D.B. walked over knocking as I looked up.
"What are you doing?" He asked
"Just looking at this shirt." I said, as I stretched out the sleeve on the table.
"Are you going home?"
"I have too much to do." I said
He just stood there watching me.
"Catherine told you like science journals."
I looked at him.
"Yes, I do."
"Did you read the one about microscopic organisms?"
"Yes, I thought it was interesting." I said
"I have the latest one I can loan it to you."
"Great."
I went back to the shirt as he continued to stand there.
"Um…Sara, if you ever…want to talk."
"I'm fine." I said, looking at him.
"I understand, but like I said if you ever want to talk I am here."
"Thank you." I said, looking closely at the fabric.
"Why don't you clean up and go home?"
I shook my head. He walked in closer touching my arm. I looked at him.
"Sara, go home."
I blinked slowly nodding. He nodded walking out leaving me. I sat on the stool behind me looking at the shirt feeling my heart break again and again.
I tried to get Grissom on the phone, but he never answered. I laid in bed touching his side as I looked at it. I kept to myself at the lab working on my own. At break time Brass walked around seeing me sitting in the breakroom looking at the coffee table with my uneaten sandwich on it. He walked over taking as seat beside me. I didn't acknowledge him as he placed his hand on mine.
"How are you doing?"
I looked at him with empty eyes.
"Fine."
He rubbed my hand.
"Catherine is worried about you."
I nodded.
"Have you slept, or eaten?"
"No, not much."
"Honey, you need to take care of yourself."
"I am trying."
He watched me look back at the coffee table. D.B. came in stopping as he saw us. Brass looked over as the younger man motioned out in the hall.
"I'll be right back." He said, leaving.
D.B. watched Brass walk out glancing in at me.
"Catherine told me you are Sara's dad."
"Yes, I am worried about her." Brass said
"We all are. Is there any way to get hold of Grissom?"
"She's tried. He's either out of range or very busy."
"I don't think she can last."
"Me neither."
"Can you try to get him on the phone?"
"Yes." Brass said, getting his phone out.
D.B. looked in on me then he looked at Brass. Brass dialed waiting.
"Grissom."
"Gil, where have you been?"
"I have been teaching. Why?"
"Sara, has been trying to call you."
"Is she all right?"
"No, she is not all right. She has given up."
"Where is she?"
"Hold on." He said, walking to me in the breakroom. "Sara, I have someone for you to talk to."
I looked at him as he held out his phone. I slowly took it putting it to my ear.
"Hello?"
"Sara, are you all right?" Grissom asked
I looked at Brass and D.B. standing at the door.
"I'm fine."
"I am sorry about all this. I have been teaching nonstop."
"It's okay."
"No, it's not." He said "I miss you."
"I know." I said, looking down.
"You have to take care of yourself."
"I will."
"Can you hand the phone to Jim?"
I held the phone out to Brass then I grabbed my food getting up throwing it away leaving the room. Brass sighed watching me go as Grissom talked to him.
After work I walked slowly outside to my car. Brass walked out coming over to me.
"Hey." He said
I looked at him then I moved in for a hug.
"Grissom made me promise to look after you."
I lifted my head looking at him.
"Let's stop at that diner we both like."
"No, I am not really in the mood."
"Please?"
I slowly nodded feeling him lead me to his car. We stopped at the diner a few minutes later and sat down in a booth. I sat beside him not even looking at the menu as he did.
"Why don't we have the special?" He asked "Grilled cheese with tomato soup."
I looked at him shrugging my shoulders. He ordered our food then he put his arm around my shoulders looking at me.
"So how's the case?" He asked
"Okay." I said
He looked at my profile.
"You look a lot like your mother." He said
I looked at him.
"You got my ears."
He touched my ear as I smiled a little.
"I wish I had known that you were my dad years ago."
"Me to, but we are doing great now."
"Yeah."
He kissed my head smiling at me. Our food came and I just looked at it.
"Come on eat for me." He said, lifting up half of the sandwich to my mouth. "Come on."
I slowly opened my mouth taking a small bite.
"You can take a bigger one than that."
I sighed eating another bite. This time bigger.
"Good girl!"
I chewed swallowing as he ate his. I ate a little more than we left to go home. Brass looked over at me sleeping with my head against the window. He touched my hand as he drove.
I moved in bed feeling warm. I could hear someone moving in the next room. I rolled over to my back laying my head to the side hearing someone come into the bedroom.
The smell of coffee hit me hard. A hand came to mine.
"Sara?" Brass called, gently.
I slowly opened my eyes seeing him. I looked around seeing I was not at my home, but his.
"I brought you some coffee." He said, holding a steaming cup.
"How long have I been asleep?" I asked
"Three days."
"What?!" I said, trying to get up.
He put the cup on the side table pushing me down.
"Calm down. You needed to sleep. I called the lab and they agreed you needed sleep."
I put a hand to my head.
"Sara, it's okay."
"My case!"
"D.B. gave it to Nick."
I sighed closing my eyes.
"You better drink this." He said
I sat up with his help taking the cup drinking.
"Grissom called asking about you."
"I should call him."
"I told him you were resting."
"I keep messing up."
"Honey, you didn't mess anything up."
I sniffed putting the cup on the table as I leaned back against the pillows swiping the fresh tears going to down my cheeks.
"I wish he was here." I said
"Me to." He said, rubbing my arm.
"I miss him." I said, sitting up hugging him.
"I know." He said "I know."
Brass drove me back to my place and I tried calling Grissom.
"Grissom."
"Hey, it's me." I said, leaning on the kitchen counter.
"Sara, you okay?"
"Yes."
He sighed relieved.
"I have a class soon. Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine."
"I want you to call me every day."
"I will."
He didn't speak for a moment.
"Promise me."
"I promise."
I hung up looking at the phone then I put it down on the counter moving out of the kitchen. D.B. and I worked a case together a week later. He glanced at me before looking ahead in the Tahoe.
"So how's Grissom?"
I jumped looking over at him.
"Fine."
"Good, and you?"
"I don't want to talk about this." I said, looking out the side window.
"Why not?"
I looked at him then back at the window. He looked at my profile then back at the road. We made it to the scene. A car was smashed against the hillside as another laid on its side. We walked over seeing blood metal debris.
"This is bad." I said
"Yeah, I have a daughter that age." He said, motioning to the girl lying near the car by the hillside. "Sara, you take the car on its side and I will work here."
"Are you sure?"
He nodded looking back at the dead girl. I walked over to the car seeing a guy inside dead. I knelt down looking inside at him beyond the broken windshield. I walked around the car looking at the tires.
D.B. walked around the other car looking inside. I walked over to the back seeing blood pooling out of the trunk.
"I got something in the trunk!" I shouted
A cop came over seeing the blood.
"Let's get it open!"D.B. shouted
I stood back as the cop got a crow bar and attempted to open it. It burst open and we coughed holding our hand over our mouth and nose. Inside was a woman tied up bleeding from the head and chest. She had been laying against bags of decomposing animals.
"I….have to!" I said, gagging. I ran away from the scene throwing up beside a guard rail. I put my hand against it trying to get control over my body. D.B. walked over touching my back. I heaved again still smelling it.
"You okay?"
I nodded trying to be brave. He rubbed my back gently. I stood up taking in the air wiping my mouth with a hand. He looked at me concerned as I stepped back looking over at the car.
"Do you want to sit down a moment?"
"No….I'm okay." I said, shaking.
He searched my eyes then walked with me back to the scene. I breathed through my mouth working. We arrived back hours later tired and still smelling the horrible decomposing animals. He and I walked into the building taking evidence down the hallway then I took a shower using lemon. I came out feeling better.
The boys asked me to go out to the strip with them and I said yes. We all walked down to the bars trying drinks at every one of them. I laughed holding onto Warrick as we left the last bar. He smiled at me as we walked down the street to the cars. Nick and Greg followed stumbling some talking. Warrick got his keys out since he was the designated driver. I leaned against the car hearing my phone go off.
"Oh it's….my husband!" I said, showing them my phone. I put it to my mouth. "Hello!"
Nick and Greg laughed as Warrick grabbed my phone pushing me inside the back seat.
"Hey man." Warrick said, holding my phone to his ear. "Sara, is fine. We all went out for drinks."
He walked around the car to the driver's side as Nick and Greg got in.
"I am taking her home."
"Tell him I hate him!" I shouted
"No, I am not drunk." Warrick said
I reached up trying to take my phone from him.
"Yeah." Warrick said, waving me off. "I can do that."
"Give me the phone." I said, trying to take it again. Warrick gave up handing me the phone.
"Grissom?" I said
"Sara, are you going home?" He asked
"Grissom, I hate you!" I shouted, laughing right after.
"You don't hate me."
"Yes, I do. You left me you jerk!" I said "I loved you, but you left me."
Warrick grabbed the phone from me.
"Sorry man, she's drunk." He said
Warrick listened for a moment then he hung up handing me the phone. I sat back looking outside sighing sadly.
I woke up before work feeling very bad. I got my phone ringing Grissom.
"Hey." I said
"You are alive." He said
"I'm sorry about that."
He sighed as I tried to sit up.
"Sara, your words last night made me think."
"About what?"
"I think….we should separate."
I touched my chest as he said this.
"What? No!"
"Sara, I am in Washington and you are in Las Vegas. You need to find someone more suited to you."
"Grissom, please! I didn't mean that!"
"I have to go." He said
"Please just….." I said
The phone went dead. I looked at it in shock. I sank down on the floor sobbing. Brass was in his office when his phone went off.
"Brass." He said, looking at a report. He looked up listening. "Sara?"
He stood as I sobbed over the phone.
"Okay calm down tell me what is wrong."
"I….Grissom….w…wants…t…to….separate!"
Brass rubbed his head walking around his desk.
"Where are you?"
"Home."
"Okay, I'll tell D.B. you won't be in. I will be right over." He said, before hanging up.
D.B. was just arriving as Brass came out seeing him.
"Sara, won't be in."
"Why?"
"It's a long story. I will tell you later. I have to go to her now." He said, walking out quickly.
"Is she all right?"
Brass looked at him shaking his head. He raced to my house running up the stairs to my door letting himself in.
"Sara?"
He walked in carefully looking around the rooms.
"Sara?"
He opened the door to the bedroom finding me lying on the floor with my gun next to my hand.
"Sara, no!" He shouted, kneeling down seeing blood at my temple. "Come on baby!"
He called for an ambulance almost to the point of tears.
"Stay with me!" He said, touching my neck.
Brass waited hours later in the waiting room pacing as D.B. showed up.
"Anything?" He asked
"No." Brass said
The younger man touched Brass's shoulder.
"Did you phone Gil?" D.B. asked
"Not yet."
A doctor came out looking around then he walked over seeing Brass.
"Did you come in with Sara Grissom?"
"Yes, I am her father and this is D.B. Russell her boss." Brass said
"We got the bullet out and she is alive."
Brass almost fell to the ground relieved.
"She holding her own right now, but that might change. At this point we don't know what kind of damage we are looking at. She could have memory loss, or worse."
Brass nodded looking at D.B. who was ashen white.
"Can I see her?"
"Not for a while. Come back later." The doctor said, walking away.
"I have to call Gil." Brass said
"Yeah."
Brass walked out with him to the parking lot dialing Grissom's number. D.B. watched him fidget as he waited.
"Grissom, its Jim." He said "I have some bad news."
"What's happened?" Grissom asked, as he walked to his kitchen in his apartment.
"Sara…shot herself."
Grissom stopped walking thinking he did not hear right.
"What….did you say?"
"I said Sara shot herself…in the head."
Grissom grabbed the counter holding himself up.
"When?"
"Yesterday afternoon. I am at the hospital now. They got the bullet out, but she might have problems."
"Oh no." Grissom said
"Can you come?"
"Yes, I will come."
"Good."
He hung up looking at D.B.
Later the doctor led Brass into the room I was lying in. A bandage was around my head and a ventilator was covering my mouth and nose.
Brass walked over looking at me then he reached down touching my hand.
"Sara, fight for me." He said
"I'll leave you alone." The doctor said
"Her husband is coming soon. Gil Grissom."
"I'll tell the front desk."
Brass watched him leave then he looked down at me.
"Come on honey." He said
He sat beside my bed watching me. The door opened and Grissom came in dropping his black bag at the door. Brass watched him walk over looking worried.
"How is she?" He asked
"The same."
Grissom came to the other side looking me over.
"Gil, I don't know what is happening. I do know that you two love each other and belong together. Whatever issues you have need to worked out."
Grissom looked at his friend.
"It's my fault this is happening." He said
"I know."
Grissom looked at me leaning over kissing my bandaged head.
"Her heart has been breaking every day since you left."
"Mine to."
"Come back to the lab."
"It's not that simple." Grissom said
"We need you there."
"I accepted a commitment."
"You did when you married Sara before this."
Grissom walked over to with window's looking out.
"I needed to get away from the lab. I needed to get away from everything here."
"You have always been by yourself."
"Sara understands me."
"She has stood by you a long time and she always will." Brass said "Now it's time to give back to her. Come back to the lab."
Grissom looked down then he looked at Brass.
A week later I moved my fingers feeling someone grip it back. My eyes slowly opened and I was seeing a light above. Grissom leaned over me speaking, but I could not answer back. He pushed the call button having the doctor and nurse come in. They took out the tube down my throat making me choke then the doctor started to examine me.
"Sara, can you speak?" He asked, checking my eyes.
I looked at him then at the man on my other side looking at me.
"Do you know the man standing next to you?"
I looked back at the doctor not saying a word.
"Why isn't she speaking?" Grissom asked
"The damage of the bullet may have affected the part that makes her talk and think. We need to do an MRI on her."
"Okay." Grissom said
I was taken to a room and slid into a tube. Grissom waited for the results back in my room. He looked out the windows thinking about all the harm he did. I was wheeled back into the room.
"The doctor will be in soon." The nurse said
"Thank you." He said
I looked at him curiously as he walked over. He leaned over kissing my head.
"Sara, I love you. I am not going to leave you now."
I watched him talk feeling his hand on my cheek. I closed my eyes as he smoothed his fingers across my cheek. I opened them as the doctor walked in. Grissom stood up looking at the man.
"Well, I am afraid there is damage."
"Is it permanent?"
"There is a chance that it could be temporary. She could learn to speak again, but it will take some time."
Grissom nodded looking at me. I looked at him noting his worried look. Brass opened the door holding some pink flowers in a pot.
"Hey, I came to see the patient." He said, walking in smiling as I looked at him. He set the flowers down on a table by the wall then he came and stood by Grissom. "Hello honey."
I looked at him then at Grissom. The doctor left after explaining to Brass what was happening.
"I wanted to see her before work." He said, rubbing my fingers.
Grissom looked at his watch.
"I should go and get something to eat."
"Rest to."
Grissom nodded looking at me.
"Sara, I will be back."
I looked at him then at Brass.
"Go on. She will be fine."
Grissom walked out glancing back at me before leaving. Brass kissed my cheek rubbing my hand.
"It's okay."
I squeezed his hand making him smile.
A month later Grissom walked with me up the stairs to our home. He opened the door holding my arm helping me inside. He let me sit down on the couch then he sat down touching my hand in my lap.
"Home sweet home." He said
I looked around the living room then at him as he moved over kissing me. He moved back putting his head against mine.
"Sara, I am so sorry."
I moved back looking at him then I hugged him. He hugged me back pulling my body closer. He came home for good. He walked with me into the lab a week later. D.B. and the gang all hugged me welcoming me back. I walked with Nick and Greg to the breakroom where a cake had been set out.
"So she still isn't talking?" D.B. asked
"No, the therapist said she is making progress, but she just refused to talk once she came home." Grissom said
"I can put her on light lab duty." D.B. said
"That would be a good idea."
"I heard you're taking Ecklie's job?" He said
"Yes, it was time." Grissom said
"Well I am glad you back."
"Thank you."
Greg and Nick sat on the couch in the breakroom with me eating cake. Catherine sat in the chair near the couch laughing at something Greg said. I listened to them eating slowly.
"It's good to have you back." Nick said
I smiled faintly at him. Grissom came in seeing us. He got some cake standing nearby as he ate. I stood getting help from Nick going to the garbage can throwing my plate away. I glanced out in the hallway seeing a poster hanging up. I walked over to it.
Brass snuck up to me tapping my shoulder making me jump. I turned seeing him. He hugged me looking over seeing the team inside eating still.
"Good to see you here." He said
He moved away looking me up and down.
"So how are you?"
I didn't answer as he touched my cheek with his thumb.
"You can talk to me."
I shook my head as he nodded.
"Okay, but I expect an answer soon."
He walked with me back into the room waving at everyone. I went home with Grissom and he pulled me over kissing me. I kissed him then I put my head against his shoulder.
"Feel like speaking?"
I didn't answer.
"You can, your therapist said you can."
I touched his coat. He sighed moving me back from him.
"Take out?"
I nodded and he got out his phone. I walked to the couch laying down closing my eyes. Grissom walked over sitting on the couch rubbing my arm leaning over kissing my head. I opened my eyes looking at the coffee table.
He moved my hair back wishing I would just talk. I swallowed not moving feeling him get up walking to the bedroom. When he didn't come out I got up walking to the bedroom seeing him sitting on the bed holding his head with his hands. I came back out looking down. Grissom lifted his head wiping his cheeks as he took a breath getting up.
I was in the back yard walking around in small circles. Grissom came out seeing me.
"Sara, what are you doing out here?" He asked, coming down the back porch to join me. "What's wrong?"
I sniffed wiping my eyes as I looked down.
"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, pulling me to him. His hand went to my cheek. "Sara, talk to me."
I shook my head sniffing.
"Are you crying about work?" He asked
I shook my head.
"Are you crying because of me?"
I nodded.
"Honey, don't cry. There is nothing wrong. I just need to blow off some steam."
I looked at him feeling his fingers brush away my tears.
"We will get through this."
I looked at his lips then at his eyes. He kissed me slowly then led me into the house.
I worked in the lab the next shift helping Greg on his case. Grissom went to meetings and moved into his office. D.B. had me sit down in his office at the end of shift. He fiddled with a pen at his desk looking at me.
"So are you getting used to work again?"
I nodded.
"Work load is not to much, is it?"
I shook my head.
He nodded sighing as he watched me.
"Sara, the reason I really wanted to see you is I am concerned about this no talking. We all care for you. I know you have had a rough time, but not talking is concerning us more."
I looked at him then down.
"Won't you try to talk?"
He watched me lift my head looking at him. I opened my mouth to speak causing him to sit up more.
"I…I'm fine." I said, quietly.
"Glad to hear it." He said, smiling.
I smiled back.
On the ride home Grissom took my hand looking at me. I looked at him as he looked ahead driving.
"Russell told me that you said something to him." He said, glancing at me.
I nodded.
"Will you talk for me?"
I looked at him.
"Please?"
Shaking my head I looked back outside. He parked the car stopping the engine sitting back in his seat.
"G…Grissom?" I said
He looked at me with a look of surprise. I leaned over kissing him. He kissed me back savoring every sensation. I moved over straddling his legs. He didn't say anything as I continued to kiss him. He moved back looking at me.
"You're so beautiful, Sara."
I looked at him touching his cheek then I moved in again kissing him. He pulled me closer not caring who was looking.
Grissom woke hearing birds outside. He lifted his head looking around realizing we were still in the car in the backseat. He laid his head back rubbing his head. I laid on my side sleeping. He touched my hip moving then stilling.
"Time to get up." He said
When I didn't move or wake he moved my hair kissing my neck. After a moment I moved onto my back opening my eyes seeing his looking at me.
"W….where are we?" I asked
"The car." He said, smiling a little. "Ready to make a move?"
"N…no."
He leaned down kissing me then watched me sit up holding my head.
"You okay?"
"Y…yes."
He sat up watching me wake up. We got out of the car going up to our house. He made us lunch before work. I slowly ate the egg salad sandwich he gave me at the island. Grissom wiped his mouth finished as I still ate.
"Sara, why didn't you talk sooner?"
I looked at him swallowing.
"B…because I didn't like the way I s…sounded."
"You know it didn't matter to me."
"I…I know."
He touched my cheek with his finger then he got up putting his plate in the sink. He went to finish getting ready as I laid the rest of my sandwich down on the plate looking at it sadly.
Grissom walked in the building motioning to me he was going to his office. I watched him go jumping as D.B. touched my arm.
"Sorry, I just came to ask if you could help me with something."
I nodded following him. He brought me a room down the hallway.
"Can you stand at the wall?" He asked
I walked over to the center of the back wall standing still.
"I am turning on a light. It will be bright so don't look directly at it."
He turned it on and I winched holding my hand over my eyes. D.B. walked in front of the light blocking it a little. I moved my hand looking at him walking over to stand in front of me.
"Hold this." He said, holding up a round mirror. I looked at him then I took it looking at myself.
"What do you see?" He asked
"M…myself."
"Do you see a monster?" He asked
I gave him a confused look.
"W...what are you talking about?"
"Sara, you may see yourself, but I think you also see a monster."
I looked at myself again.
"I am trying to show you that you are not a monster."
I handed him the mirror.
"I…have ruined Grissom's l...life."
He walked back turning the light off then he came back over without the mirror.
"Did Grissom say that?"
"N...no, but l...look at what I d...did."
He made me lift my head looking at him.
"You could never ruin anyone's life."
I wanted to believe him, but deep down I knew I did. At break I walked over to Brass's office. He was standing by his desk looking at a paper. I opened the door seeing him look up.
"Hey." He said, putting down the paper on the desk. "What's up?"
"N…nothing."
"You're talking now." He said, hugging me. I closed my eyes enjoying it. "That is good news."
"Y…yeah."
He moved back still holding my arms.
"So how is work?"
"F…fine." I said
He moved his head to look at me.
"Just fine?"
I sighed looking down.
"I…I think I r...ruined Grissom's l...life."
He put his hands on my cheeks.
"Look at me." He said "You did not ruin his life."
I looked at him.
"You didn't. He talks to me and he has never said that."
"I...I know, but…"
"Sara, it's not true."
After seeing him I walked to Grissom's office. He was at his desk with his glasses on working. I closed the door behind me looking at him as he glanced over before writing something on a paper.
"On break?" He asked
"Y...yes." I said, walking around the desk leaning against it looking at him.
He sat back looking me over.
"I'll cook us dinner." He said
"G…great."
He took my hand pulling me to sit on his lap kissing me. He moved back searching my eyes.
"Want to talk about something?" He asked
I shook my head laying my head against his shoulder. He moved the chair side to side as he looked at me.
I closed my eyes touching his tie. We sat in silence holding each other. After shift I laid my head against the glass window of the car. Grissom drove us to the grocery store parking getting out while I stayed inside. I looked at the cars next to us then I looked at the lit windows of the grocery store.
Grissom came back smiling at me as he put the bag he carried in the back. I smiled back as he drove out of the lot. We went to bed after eating, but I could not sleep. I looked over at him then I got up. I dressed going out for a run to clear my head. I had no idea how long I ran for. I ran back drenched in sweat climbing the steps of the house feeling like I was carrying a bunch of logs on my back. I opened the door closing it sliding down to the floor.
"Sara?" Grissom called, as he walked out of the bedroom dressed for work. "Sara!"
I breathed in and out heavily sitting back against the door as he knelt down touching my head and cheeks.
"You're burning up!"
I closed my eyes feeling him lift me up taking me to the shower. I instantly jumped as cold water hit me. Grissom was talking to me as he leaned in without his coat and tie. He had rolled up his sleeves. I gulped in air looked around as I moved. The water kept coming and I wanted to get away from it. My shivering was getting worse. He turned off the water as I shook. A towel went over me and I was lifted out.
"Sara, why did you do this?" He asked, as he rubbed the towel over me.
"I…" I said, stopping as he wiped my face. He took what was left of my clothes then put dryer ones over my cold body. I was put into bed to sleep. Grissom left me to make calls. He came back after a while to give me some water. I moved feeling him lift me up giving me water. He put the glass on the side table cradling me against him.
"Sara, what is going on with you?"
I looked at him feeling sleepy again.
"I…ruined your l…life."
"You have never ruined anything." He said, smoothing my hair. "You saved me. I owe you so much. I will never love anyone else."
I slowly closed my eyes feeling his lips touch my head.
"I…love you." I said, gently.
He pulled me closer to his chest. I felt safe in his arms.