Disclaimer: All notable characters and references to the wizarding world belong to the Queen, J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. I own nothing except the plot and writing only to satisfy my love for Dramione.
A/N:Big thanks to Mimosa for being my alpha/beta on this story. She's a sweetheart and i would never have tried anything if she wasn't there cheering me on and adding bits and pieces to this. I can see where this is going but the updates will be once a month. I have classes coming up in June which may take a huge chunk of my time. This is heavily inspired by the song Back to You by John Mayer. Love the guy! Hope y'all enjoy reading and let me know what you think!
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Hermione Granger, one-third of the Golden Trio, Order of Merlin First Class, and the Brightest Witch of Her Age, was a coward.
Sighing softly, she observed the trickle of rain on her bedroom window; arms wrapped around her like a vice, willing the tormenting feeling of loneliness in her gut to disappear. Gone was the Hermione Granger who was full of enthusiasm and eagerness to thrive on whatever endeavour she embarks on. This woman, someone she barely recognised when she looks in the mirror, was listless—a mere husk of her former self.
After fleeing the event dubbed as 'The Wedding of the Century' three years ago, she is now living as a recluse in Lundy. The cabin, a property she bought unbeknownst to her friends, was from the Galleons she received from the Ministry. No one knew where she was for several years now. She would have wanted to keep it that way until he bumped into Harry last week by happenstance. It was her schedule to visit Bristol that fateful afternoon to restock her potion supplies being the nearest wizarding area; forgetting to alter her appearance, she was swept on a tight embrace by none other than The Boy Who Lived.
Completely overwhelmed at seeing a friend who was like a brother to her, she wept—as did he. Crying had felt so good despite the fear of recrimination for vanishing without a trace. It felt freeing to let go of all the pent up emotions she bottled up for years, if only for a little while. When they started drying their tears, she knew the questions would soon follow. Taking his hand in hers, they walked in silence on cobbled streets to Queens Square. He never spoke; a tacit understanding that he is giving her time to gather her thoughts and start the conversation. They sat on a wrought iron bench facing William III and where large oak trees provided the much needed shade from the afternoon sun. It was where she usually went when she can't bear the stillness of her cabin. People-watching had been some sort of a hobby to pass the time.
Squaring her shoulders from the inevitable confrontation, she reluctantly poured her heart out— the acceptable part of it anyway. She confessed about her failure to restore her parents memories and mourning the family she lost under the tip of her wand.
"Why didn't you tell us Hermione? We're your friends. Ron was—he was looking to have a future with you! We would have been there for you, like you were there for us all those years. Why?" His brows furrowed in askance, voice rising from frustration, trying to rationalise her actions.
"I wasn't ready." She uttered silently, Harry almost missed it if he wasn't listening intently. "I thought i could move on and forget. I never intended it to go this way. I'm so sorry."
"You shouldn't apologize to me, Hermione," He swallowed a lump on his throat. "You've been nothing but a wonderful friend. Ron loves you; return to him. Come back home, please?"
The green depths swirling with unbridled emotion was almost her undoing but she stood her ground.
"I'm sorry Harry..I can't. It no longer feels like home."
Stunned with her response, he nodded absentmindedly, knowing in his heart that there is no use pushing her to do something she did not want. His eyes studied her momentarily, memorizing the face of his best friend he might never lay his eyes on again.
"I won't force you to come back, but don't forget that when you decide to, I'll still be here for you. You might have broken several hearts when you left but remember you can still come home. We miss you."
He hugged her tight, stood and walked away, leaving her to her solitary life again. And that was that.
Life was simple in Lundy. Although she used magic from time to time, she decided to live as muggle as possible. Her fireplace is just that- providing warmth during biting winters and not connected to the floo network. Owls were also not an option. For an island with a population of less than thirty - the parcels and letters from owls would surely be noticed.
She brushed the stray tear that stubbornly escaped her eyes.
Yes, she was definitely a coward.
Instead of facing her problems head-on, she decided to turn tail and run - leaving her best friend of several years, turned ex-fiancé at the altar. Yes she was inconsolable because of her botched spellwork leaving her orphaned, but her true reason for jilting Ron was due to vivid dreams of a phantom lover. It all started before they went hunting for Horcruxes. In her dreams, the man drove her mad with need and with every kiss and caress, he took her to great heights. With every completion, he promised devotion. These dreams continued on even after the Battle of Hogwarts. Choosing to ignore them to keep her sanity intact, she accepted Ron's proposal to get married a year after the battle. She knew she loved him. She really did. But when she stood at the end of the aisle and saw him, a voice in her head rang loud and clear, promising undying love, blurring her vision with unshed tears.
Deciding she can't continue on with her emotions like a jumbled mess, she disapparated on the spot to the place only she knew of and the rest, as they say, was history.
Startled from her musings by a persistent knock on her front door, she jumped off the bed and snatched her robe, putting it on with haste - anxious to see which of her neighbours she would be hexing for the first time—statute of secrecy be damned—for disturbing her in this state.
"I am sorry but I don't know the address and no...i most certainly won't lend you any sugar and also, I don't happen to..." Her rant was cut off mid-way and she was stunned to silence as she came face to face with a man she has not seen for years.
"Hello, I was wondering if...Granger?" Draco Malfoy paused, eyes widening comically with his mouth hanging open. If she had not been feeling disconcerted, she would have laughed at how surprised he was to seeing her again. The shock wore off immediately and a strange glint shone in his eyes. Before she could decipher them, it was gone. Scratching the back of his neck much like Harry did when he was nervous, he gave her a once-over before looking into her eyes. "Do you mind if I come in? I'm soaked and unable to use magic because of all the muggles here. Is this a ghost town or what? No one's opening their doors. Granger? Are you even listening? Granger! Hermione!" That seemed to snap her out of her trance.
"Yeah...umm...sorry, Malfoy. Yes, come on in." She gave a nervous laugh and opened the door wider, unsure if letting an old enemy pardoned by the Ministry was a great idea.
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Once the door was closed Malfoy immediately waved his wand to dry off the remnants of rain clinging to his skin, giving her a chance to observe him. It seems the years have been kind to the Malfoy heir. She last saw him during The Malfoys' trial at the Ministry a few months after the final battle and his robes were barely hanging on his gaunt frame, his grey orbs dull and lifeless, as if the weight of their family's sins bore down on him and he was tired of fighting. This Malfoy looked totally different. The air of confidence he used to exude during his formative years at Hogwarts was back and his physical attributes were now easy on the eyes. His nose and chin were less pointy and he was sporting a five o'clock shadow giving him a rugged look. Her gaze travelled to the expanse of his shoulders and pectorals and further down—seeing the muggle shirt and jeans cling to his body perfectly, she gulped. A warmth on her belly started to grow and it was achingly familiar with the ones she felt after coming down from the high of her orgasms with her own hands right after the erotic dreams she had of her phantom lover.
Great! The second man she saw from the past after three years and here she was acting like a bitch in heat ready to jump his bones. Sensing her scrutiny , he looked up and gave her his signature smirk.
"See something you like Granger?"
"Dream on Malfoy." She huffed. That was a lame comeback but she can't think of anything else. It seems her brain refused to cooperate to fire a snarky remark. Remembering her manners, she offered libations. He asked for tea and stood up to help but she made him sit back down and wait.
Coming back a few minutes later with two piping hot drinks, she got down to business.
"Not to be rude or anything but why are you here Malfoy? This seems like a far-off place and the next wizarding city is a couple of miles away," she queried.
He paused for a sip and gazed at her, making her insides flutter. These feelings he evoked in her are out of ordinary, she'd have to revisit them later once he was out of sight.
"I am looking for some...something." He turned somber and had a faraway look in his eyes when he spoke again. "It is something important to me. I have lost it during the war and have been looking for it since." He regarded her briefly, face inscrutable. "That something meant the world to me and I'll do everything in my power to get it back by all means necessary."
Unable to stand the emotions in his eyes, she dropped her gaze and stared at the china he was holding between his hands, appearing fascinated with the way his long fingers were tracing the handle of the cup. "Well have you ever tried asking for help from the Ministry? I'm sure they would be able to aid you in this...search."
"Thanks for the insight Granger but this is a little bit personal. I don't want the ministry meddling with my affairs."
"Is it a dark artifact then? Seems to me you've been hiding secrets that you do not want the authorities to know about. Is this even legal?" Her eyebrows raised, challenging him to refute her claims.
He didn't even flinch and just gave her a secretive smile which left her all the more confused. What was he hiding?
"It seems the sun's finally shining. I had the Millcombe booked for my stay and the housekeeper might be waiting for me, heard it takes a bit of a hike to get there. Do you mind giving me directions?"
Glaring at him for his blatant evasion of her questions, she gave him what he needed. She was about to ask again when he abruptly stood up.
"Thanks for the tea, Granger. I'll see you around." He gave her a mock salute and left, closing the door behind him.
The Millcombe, hah! Well, you can't expect anything less from a Malfoy of course. Knowing he was looking for something for years have made her curious. What was he hiding? What thing mattered to him so much that he was willing to cohabitate with muggles and forego the use of magic? Her curiosity was well and truly piqued.