So a while ago, Ardhoniel Marvelite challenged me to write a series of limericks for The Silmarillion, similar to the ones I wrote for The Lord of the Rings. It took a while, but here they are: a limerick for every chapter in The Silmarillion. Big thank you to the people on The Three Reader's forum for their help with pronunciation of some of the Elvish words.
Ainulindalë
The Ainur all gathered to play
Some music Ilúvatar's way,
But Melkor would soon
Try to make his own tune,
And that's why there's strife now today.
Valaquenta
The number of Valar's fourteen.
There's seven lords and seven queens.
Manwë is greatest,
But Varda's the favorite.
(She's Elbereth in Sindarin.)
Of the Beginning of Days
The Valar had managed to shape
The world into pleasing landscapes.
But down from the north,
Melkor came forth
To see how much stuff he could break.
Of Aulë and Yavanna
I'm tired of being alone.
Where are the beings that we were shown?
I'm fed up with waiting
So I'll try creating
A race of them all on my own.
Of the Coming of the Elves and the Captivity of Melkor
When elves first awoke by the sea,
They looked all about them with glee
And roamed the wide world
Making up words
For everything that they could see.
Of Thingol and Melian
When those two first saw one another
Melian made Elu her lover.
Though she was above him,
She found that she loved him.
Their daughter took after her mother.
Of Eldamar and the Princes of the Eldalië
Seven sons had Fëanor.
I know of no elf who had more.
Caranthir, Amras,
Curufin, Maedhros,
Celegorm, Amrod, and Maglor.
Of Fëanor and the Unchaining of Melkor
"You Valar have nothing to fear.
I'm changed, I'm reformed, don't you hear?
I'm good to my core,"
insisted Melkor,
But Melkor was quite insincere.
Of the Silmarils and the Unrest of the Noldor
It may come as rather a shock,
But elves aren't as wise as we thought.
All those wars waged
Throughout the first age
Were over these three shiny rocks.
Of the Darkening of Valinor
Laurelin's light was like fire.
Telperion's was a bit whiter.
The flowers they bore
Lit all Valinor
Until they were killed by a spider.
Of the Flight of the Noldor
Morgoth, that enemy black,
Stole the Silmarils in an attack.
So we'll leave the west
and we vow not to rest
Until we have gotten them back.
Of the Sindar
When Melkor returned to their shore,
The peace they had known was no more.
And so, feeling threatened,
The Sindar made weapons
And started preparing for war.
Of the Sun and Moon and the Hiding of Valinor
The Valar were sad for the loss
Of the Noldor who had the sea crossed.
Though, soon Fëanor
Would return to their shore,
But just to the halls of Mandos.
Of Men
Two races Ilúvatar wrought:
The elves, great in body and thought,
And men, who have fëar
That quickly leave Eä,
Whether they want it or not.
Of the Return of the Noldor
I can get you out of Angband.
Though you might not much like my plan.
I know you're in pain
But I can't break this chain.
I'll just have to cut off your hand.
Of Beleriand and Its Realms
Ard-galen was choked with with grey grit
From the ash and slag Angband emits.
So Morgoth was stunned
When out came the sun
And grass started growing on it.
Of the Noldor in Beleriand
"Galadriel," said Melian,
"This tale that your folk left Aman
"At the Valar's request
"Seems fishy at best.
"So tell the truth. What's going on?"
Of Maeglin
Eöl used enchantments to keep
Aredhel in his woods dark and deep.
To his house, he lead her
So that he could wed her.
He really was kind of a creep.
Of the Coming of Men into the West
Haleth led her group of men
Through dangers again and again,
'Til by shear force of will
They came to Brethil
And made Thingol give it to them.
Of the Ruin of Beleriand and the Fall of Fingolfin
A poisonous fume chokes the air
As torrents of swift fire flair
from Thangorodrim's heights.
Yep, you got that right;
Morgoth has a volcano lair.
Of Beren and Lúthien
When Thingol heard Beren's request
He set an impossible test,
For though he was wise
He didn't realize
The lengths men will go to for sex.
Of the Fifth Battle: Nirnaeth Arnoediad
The elves' force was thrown into mayhem,
Though some people still even say then
They still could have won,
If they weren't undone
When Ulfang's men went and betrayed them.
Of Túrin Turambar
With Túrin, I really am struck
By how badly he mucked things up.
But please, don't be mad.
The guy wasn't bad.
He just had some terrible luck.
Of the Ruin of Doriath
The oath we took can't be amended.
The Silmaril must be surrendered.
And yes, sure, it's true,
Angband still has two,
But Doriath's less well defended.
Of Tuor and the Fall of Gondolin
Up on a high narrow pass,
A balrog was blocking the path
Which Glorfindel slew.
He was killed too.
but I guess his death didn't last.
Of the Voyage of Eärendil and the War of Wrath
"This mariner," Mandos began,
"Is son of Tuor, an Adan
And Noldorian mother,
So one or the other,
He shouldn't have come to Aman."
Akallabêth
The greatness of Númenor fell
When, believing Aman held some spell
That would hold back old age,
They tried to invade.
Their plan didn't go all that well.
Of the Rings of Power and the Third Age
Rings are ruled, brought, and then bound.
Kingships are lost and then found.
There's world-spanning wars,
Elves leaving these shores,
And hobbits in holes in the ground.