A/N: So this started as a small character study type thing about Quinn Fabray, then turned into this.
Mentions of past Quinn/Finn, Quinn/Puck, Quinn/Sam, and Quinn/Joe
DISCLAIMER: If I owned Glee I wouldn't be writing fanfiction. I am writing fanfiction, so, therefore, I don't own Glee.
Quinn Fabray had been called a lot of things throughout her life.
Not all of them were bad, of course, and there was a time when she was happy, but that was a long time ago, when she was much younger.
She had lived in a bubble, then. Completely ignorant to the world. She learned fast, though, how things really were.
The name calling had started in middle school.
Chubby. A nerd, a loser. She was Lucy Caboosey. She hated herself, but only because everyone else did.
Then she turned it all around. At the beginning of her junior year at William McKinley High School, Quinn had everything. But at the same time, she had nothing. She had become what she hated, what she ran from. But the names she were called were different this time.
Powerful. Untouchable. Desirable. Enviable. But at the same time, a tormentor. Selfish. A bully. Hateful. They're just jealous, she'd tell herself as she walked down the hall. All she had done was protect herself. She had adapted. She had built up walls around herself, so no one could touch her. But walls crumble, and hers did.
Perfect, Puck had said. Beautiful. Lovely. He had been caring and sweet, gentle. He had been there for her when she needed someone; when her insecurities had come creeping back in. So she gave in. She made a mistake. And just like that, her world shattered.
Pregnant. Everything she had built for herself had came crashing down around her, her image of perfection permanently tainted. She had been thrown off the Cheerio's. Sue had called her a disgrace, but she hadn't needed to. Quinn already knew she was. The whispers in the halls were back, and this time, Quinn knew it wasn't because they were jealous of her. Who would be jealous of her? She was nothing.
Unrecognizable. A disappointment. Quinn would be lying if she said this didn't hurt the worst, if it didn't hurt more than anything she'd ever felt before. Then, homeless. Thrown out of her home by the two people in her life who were supposed to love her, care about her, no matter what. All because she had made a mistake. One mistake. You are the disappointment here! her father had yelled. Even though she knew it was true, it didn't make it hurt any less.
Manipulative. A cheater. A liar. She lost Finn. She wondered how many more things she had to lose before she was left with nothing.
Invisible. She was a nobody. She tried for redemption, made the Glist, because, like she told Mr. Shue, A bad reputation is better than no reputation at all. He told her she could get it all back one day, and she believed him. So she let herself fade, but just until one day arrived.
Beth was born. Summer came and went. Quinn worked out a plan. She was going to be Quinn Fabray again, no matter what the cost.
Head cheerleader. Captain. The halls parted when she walked down them again. It felt good to be back on top. It felt right. She wasn't about to let it go again.
Brave. Determined. Sam made her feel good about herself. He made her feel important. Although she'd never say it out loud, she never knew if she loved him, or just how much he helped her reputation. Quinn told herself that it was the former - that she really did love him - over and over, until she almost believed it. Almost.
Weak. She quit Glee club, the one thing that made her feel okay, because she was afraid. Afraid to lose it all, again. She made a sacrifice. She made a choice. She knew almost instantly it wasn't the right one.
Strong. Finn told her she could do this. He believed in her. She remembered how things were with him. She had loved him once, maybe she could again. He helped her make the right decision. He pushed her to do the right thing, whereas Sam had just accepted her decision to quit Glee. Maybe she needed someone like Finn. Maybe she just needed Finn. Quinn quit the Cheerio's.
Unfaithful. She kissed Finn. Then again, and again. She saw fireworks. She got mono. She told Finn in the nurse's office that maybe the universe is trying to tell her something. She didn't listen to it. She lost Sam, then. He started dating Santana. She had briefly wondered how Santana could have done this to her; they were friends, once.
A fraud. Lauren Zizes found about Lucy, about her hideously embarrassing past, and told everybody. Her campaign for Prom Queen - for power, redemption, for safety - was over.
Feelingless. Finn had asked her if she even felt anything anymore. She got out of the car and slammed the door. She lost Finn. Again. What she hadn't told him was that she felt too much, that feeling was all she did. That she couldn't feel anything but hurt, pain, fear. That it was unbearable, so she hid it all away. She didn't tell him any of this, because she knew he wouldn't care.
Quinn cut her hair off in New York just to see if anyone would notice.
A skank. Pink hair, a tattoo, cigarettes. She had nothing left to lose. When did she become this person?
A train wreck. The person who had once told her she could get everything she lost back one day had finally given up on her. She wasn't surprised, though. Quinn was used to people giving up on her.
Selfish. A mess. She had lost so much, was it so bad that she just wanted her perfect thing back? One thing that she couldn't break, or ruin? All Quinn really wanted was to feel something other than emptiness. Sometimes she'd remember how Puck was with her that night, when he had told her he loved her. Things were so different now, though. I don't care about you, he had shouted at her. She had kept her smirk frozen on her face and pretended she didn't care about anything he said. She had gotten so good at pretending.
Lost. Quinn wasn't lost, though. Not really.
She was broken.
She put her Glee club back together.
She fixed her friendships, said her apologies.
She began dreaming again.
Talented. She applied to Yale, and got in, early admissions. She smiled again. I wasted so much time hating myself for the stupid mistakes that I made. But the truth is, is that without any of those I never would have dreamed this to be my future. I was the only one standing in the way of myself. You can't change your past. But you can let go, and start your future. Everyone was proud of her. For the first time in a long time, she was proud of herself.
Paralyzed. She had been stupid, texting and driving. It was her own fault, what had happened. She would dance on the stage at Nationals, though. She would do it.
Beautiful. Joe made her feel wanted for the first time in a long time. She liked the feeling. She didn't know what Joe was to her, but for now, they were friends.
A champion. She had danced with the rest of the New Directions at Nationals. They had won.
A WMHS graduate. She had kissed Puck; believed in him when he needed someone to. Told him she loved him. It was the closure they had needed. She graduated high school with the rest of her friends - no, with the rest of her family.
Yes, Quinn Fabray had been called a lot of things, had been a lot of things, throughout her life, and she wasn't about to deny any of them. And now, she knew for certain, that she could add Truly Happy to them.
A/N: Quinn has always been my favourite. I really wish the writers would have stopped making her out to be the bad guy. She really just needed help :(
I would love your feedback! :)