Wished Away in the Worst Way

Summary: Bebop and Rocksteady watched a movie and got creative.

Disclaimer: I do not own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, or Labyrinth.

Chapter 1: The Wish

"Graak! I cannot believe the incompetence of those morons you keep around here, Shredder. It doesn't seem to matter what technology I bring you from Dimension X; your useless henchmen can't get anything right!"

The evil ninja master drummed his fingers. "While I agree that they aren't the sharpest blades in the arsenal, they are not simply incompetent. Rather, they are effective in most of their tasks. But when it comes to the Turtles…"

Krang smirked. "You're just annoyed that… Hamato Yoshi, you called him? Is a more effective teacher than you are."

Before Shredder came up with a rejoinder, the sound of snorts and giggling came to them. The re-embodied brain rolled his eyes. "What are your idiots up to now?"

The two entered the lounge of their hideout to see Bebop and Rocksteady sitting in front of the television, snapping their fingers, chanting, "You remind me of the babe. What babe? The babe with the power. What power? The power of Voodoo. Who do? You do. Do what? You remind me of the babe…"

The human rolled his eyes over his metallic mask. "What do you think you're doing?"

The humanoid rhinoceros and warthog stood up and snapped to attention. Bebop stuttered, "We was just, uh, watchin' a movie. A pretty good one." He snorted with pleasure.

Rocksteady had a thoughtful look, which surprised his employer and their… mentor of sorts. "Hey, boss? I been thinkin'…"

Krang sneered, "Oh, really? Do tell…"

"No – seriously. What are we tryin' ta do, here? Is da point to capture the cretins or just… get rid of 'em?"

Shredder raised his eyebrows – the question showed intelligent initiative. "We all regularly speak of destroying them, but if I had my true desire… My ultimate goal would be to steal the students from the Rodent and to become their new master. Barring that, putting them beyond reach so they are less distracting as other plots come to fruition would suffice. Why?"

Bebop nodded in encouragement. "Tell him." He snorted.

"Well, boss, it's like dis. What would happen if we could just, uh, wish dem away, sorta like…" Rocksteady looked up at Krang and was struck with inspiration. "We could send 'em off to a different dimension. And the best part is, they can't come back. Not if we don't want 'em back."

The ninja master furrowed his brows. "What idiocy is this?"

Bebop saw the moment slipping away. "It's not idiocy. It's just like in da movie. Da girl wished her brother away, and de goblins came and took him. Da Goblin King coulda kept de kid, but da baby's sister ran the Labyrinth to get 'im back.

"But dis is de best part o' da deal. If we don't want 'em back, they'll be stuck dere forever."

Krang rolled his eyes. "This idea is from fantasy. It isn't real. Why would you…"

Rocksteady sneered, "You mean, like da dimension you come from makes any more sense? Maybe other people might think that's nonsense. Don't knock it 'til we try it."

Shredder raised his eyebrows in mild amusement. "I'm intrigued. Try it, then."

The Rhino and Warthog exchanged glances. Rocksteady puffed out his chest, trumpeting, "Goblin King, Goblin King, I wish da goblins would come and take da Turtles away, right now!"

A wind blew through the room, which confused everyone in the underground lair. The wind picked up to rainstorm proportions, and the air stilled suddenly in a burst of sparkles.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?"

A blond man wearing a fancy tunic with far more ruffles than anyone else present knew what to make of stood akimbo, eyeing the four villains. There were something about the shades of his hetero-chromic eyes (his left eye was solid amber and his right eye was pale lavender), the set of the man's eyebrows, and his particularly pointed teeth that suggested that he wasn't entirely human. The way he turned his head as he peered around the room resembled the head movements of a bird.

Bebop looked between the man before him, the screen where the movie played, and back up at his visitor. "You ain't David Bowie, are you?"

Raising a sardonic eyebrow, the stranger smirked. "No, but he bears a passing resemblance. I approve."

Rocksteady beamed. "I knew it! You're da Goblin King!" Jareth nodded in acknowledgement.

Krang squawked inelegantly when the Goblin King raised a hand. At once, the mechanical body was held motionless and the silenced brain within glared. "Even here, you are naught but a nuisance, Krang. I have neither the time nor the patience to deal with you as you deserve nor I desire."

Shredder narrowed his eyes. "How did you get in here?"

"That is no concern of yours, Saki."

The ninja spat, "How dare you!"

Jareth didn't dignify him with a response. "So… you, Rocksteady, had my goblins come and take the Turtles to be mine. Am I to understand that you truly wished them away and have no intention to run the Labyrinth to get them back?"

Rocksteady knew what the right answer should have been, but those were rules he had no intention of following. "Nope. Da purpose was to send 'em away for good. Dey are too hard to fight, and dey get in da boss's way. This way, you'll have 'em and dey won't come back."

"Interesting. You have 13 hours to change your mind."

Bebop announced, "We ain't changing our minds on dis. It's what de boss wants."

"I see. But what do you want?"

Both Mutants were confused; no one ever asked what they wanted before. They shared a glance, and Rocksteady ventured, "I dunno. I never really thought about it."

He looked to his buddy, his boss, and whatever Krang was to them, and shook his head in confusion.

Jareth asked kindly, "How would it benefit you to be rid of the Turtles?"

Furrowing his brows, Rocksteady worked it out. "Poisenally? Nothin', really. Dey ain't bad. It's a bit embarrassin' to get beaten by dem so much.

"But…" He clenched a fist. "It's what Shredder wants. So… Dat's why I wished 'em away."

Bebop snorted agreeably. "Yeah."

Jareth raised his eyebrows. "I see. Not everything is as it seems."

Not taking well to being ignored, Shredder demanded, "Why are you ignoring me? I am the master, here!"

The fae smirked. "You neither made a wish nor said your right words. What care I for your mastery? You have no power over me." He faded from sight.

Krang was released from the stasis spell. "What was that… thing?"

Bebop snorted again. "Da Goblin King. But I wonder what he meant when he said dat 'not everything's as it seems'?"