Disclaimer: I do not own anything. The characters all belong to JK Rowling.
A/N: This is for Squirrelsliketacos. I hope you, and everyone else, enjoys it.
Severus had noticed her the day she came back to Hogwarts to finish her last year of schooling. Sitting at the head table looking out at the sea of students, hating his rotten luck of surviving that damn snake's bite, he couldn't help but notice her. She was different. Not just physically, though. She had this look in her eyes that she was far beyond her years.
He knew she had gone through a lot this past year. She had seen and done far more than a young woman of nineteen should. She looked up at the head table then and caught him looking at her. She held his gaze for a moment and then nodded toward him before looking back toward her friends, who had unfortunately come back for their final year as well.
The following months he found himself constantly thinking about her and catching her gazes in the Great Hall during just about every meal. He realized he wanted to know her better. He had already realized she was a beautiful woman. Hell, pretty much every male in the school had noticed that. She never seemed to notice them noticing her, though, except for him.
It was at the beginning of December that he noticed he might actually have a chance to speak with her privately during the holiday break. The signup sheet to stay at the school had gone around and she was the only Gryffindor out of all the 7th years staying. He had assumed she would likely go home or to the Burrow with her friends, but he was glad she wasn't.
The last day of classes before the break he was leaving the Great Hall after breakfast when he heard her arguing with her friends in the hallway.
"No, I won't change my mind! I'm staying! I'm sorry, guys, but I really need this alone time. I have a lot to think about and a lot of research to do."
"But, Hermi-" Ron started, but was cut off by Harry. "We understand, Hermione. Right, Ron? Just remember we want to help you when school is out, if you'll let us. You don't have to do this on your own, Hermione."
Severus' brow furrowed. What on earth could they be referring too? Severus thought.
"I know. And you have no idea what that means to me, but I really think this is something I need to do alone. I'm hoping my research over the break will reveal something, and hopefully by the time school is out I'll be ready to fix them."
Severus was even more confused by that statement, but heard them walking off and realized he needed to get to his classroom or he would be late.
His last class of the day was with the Gryffindor and Slytherin 7th years. As he was handing them back their homework he made sure Hermione saw the note he had put on hers to stay after class. He noticed she looked worried and tried to give her a quick smile of reassurance, but apparently all he did was shock her.
As the class filed out she told her friends she needed to speak with him about her assignment and that she would see them at dinner. She walked up to his desk and waited for him to acknowledge her.
"Miss Granger, I happened to overhear your conversation with your friends this morning about some kind of research. Admittedly, I find myself curious. Could you enlighten me as to what you were referring too? If it is personal, I'll completely understand if you do not wish to divulge the information."
"Oh, umm, no, I don't mind Professor." She stopped and seemed to consider something for a moment. "Actually, you might could help. It's about my parents, sir. Before I went on the run with Harry and Ron I tried to convince them to leave the country, but they refused to leave without me. Since I couldn't, and wouldn't, go, I modified their memories and sent them to Australia. I finally located them, but I couldn't get their memories back. They have no idea who I am."
Severus was stunned. He had no idea she had made such a huge sacrifice. "Miss Granger, I had no idea. I am truly sorry you had to do that. I would like to help. You are staying over the holidays, are you not?" At seeing her nod, he went on. "I have some books that might could help in your research. They are rare, some dark in nature, and definitely not available in the school library. If you are agreeable, you may come to my chambers after seeing your friends off tomorrow and we can get started."
She beamed at him. He was entranced by that smile being directed at him.
"Oh, thank you, sir! I just know that with your help we'll figure it out! Thank you so much!" She hugged him in her excitement and then kissed him on the cheek. Realizing what she had done, she blushed, but didn't apologize. She wasn't sorry, after all. He nodded to her and she left the classroom, practically skipping.
The next day she walked with Ron, Harry, and Ginny down to the train. She told them about the Potions Professor's offer of helping her and letting her peruse his books. They all agreed that he may be able to provide the answers and wished her luck in her search as they boarded the train.
As Hermione walked back to the castle she lost herself in remembering all the times she had looked eyes with Professor Snape. She had been crushing on the Professor since the Welcome Feast the first day of school this year. The look in his eyes that night, and every day since. It was like he could see her, really see her. She wondered if he could see the hunger in her eyes too.
Before she even realized it she was standing outside his door. She knocked and didn't have to wait long for him to open the door. "Miss Granger, please come in. I have already taken down several tomes that I believe may be of assistance. They are there on the coffee table. Would you care for some tea?"
"Yes, please." She smiled at him in thanks and started walking over to the books. As he walked to his kitchenette he asked, "How do you take yours?" "Two sugars and a teaspoon of honey."
There was silence for a few moments as she perused the titles and he made their cups. As he brought their cups in and sat the other end of the couch she looked up at him. "Thank you. I've never heard of any of these books." He nodded. "I'm not surprised. Like I said, they are rare. Shall we get started?"
With that, they researched memory charms and their reversals for the rest of the day in silence. They missed lunch and by the time Severus noticed the time, dinner was almost over.
"We seemed to have missed two meals today. Would you care to have dinner here with me? I can get a house elf to bring us something."
Hermione looked up surprised. "That would be nice, thank you. Time always gets away from me when I'm engrossed in books." She laughed lightly. "I can't tell you how many times the boys have chastised me for not taking better care of myself."
As they ate their dinner Severus was frantically trying to come up with something to talk about with her. "Whatever happened with your S.P.E.W. campaign?" he asked. Hermione nearly chocked. She looked up at him, utterly shocked. "You knew about that?" He nodded. "Well," she said, "I finally realized they do not wish to be freed. I still treat them with the utmost respect, and any time I meet a new one I make sure they are aware they can be freed, but they're content doing what they do. I can't force them. Then I would be no better than the masters that mistreat them. For the most part, though, I've realized they generally get treated fairly well. That's all I can ask for, I guess."
"I liked Dobby. He was a little odd, but very kind and enthusiastic." Hermione's eyes teared up at that. "Yes, he was. I had no idea anyone else had ever taken notice of him. The ministries refusal to acknowledge his sacrifice disgusts me." He nodded his agreement. "I do not believe the ministry will ever change its views on magical creatures. That is a shame, to say the least."
Hermione was beaming at him again. He couldn't look away, and then he noticed her blush and look down, covering her face with her hair. He wanted to tangle his hands in that hair. He decided it was probably safer to finish his dinner than to continue those thoughts. He knew he was a master occlumens, but he wondered if she could see the hunger in his eyes when he looked at her. He sometimes could swear that she saw through his shields, but knew that was impossible.
They finished their meal, planned to resume their research after breakfast, and said goodnight. When Hermione got back to her room she fell onto her bed. She hoped they found what they were looking for in those books soon, because she didn't know how much longer she could be beside him before she just jumped him. Gods, she wanted him.
After Hermione left Severus walked to his bedroom in a daze. He very nearly kissed her. He hoped they found the answers to her problem soon. He didn't know if he had it in him to keep himself in check much longer. Gods, he wanted her.
The following week went pretty much the same every day. They were both proud of themselves for keeping themselves in check. On Christmas Eve Severus was fairly certain he had found the solution. It was an old potion that no one in the past century probably had ever heard of. He decided to not tell her until he knew he had successfully brewed the potion.
After she left that evening he went straight to his lab and got started. At roughly three in the morning Severus had successfully brewed The Remembrance Potion. He couldn't wait to see the look on Hermione's face. He went to bed exhausted, but excited.
He went to breakfast on Christmas morning because Minerva requires everyone in the castle to be there for breakfast on Christmas day. He stayed as long as required, then caught Hermione's eye and nodded toward the door before excusing himself. Not five minutes after getting back to his rooms, he heard her knock. He opened the door and let her in.
When she had her back turned to him he grabbed two vials of the potion and stood behind her, waiting for her to turn around. He was excited. He couldn't remember ever being so excited. When she did finally turn around he, quite out of character, exclaimed "Merry Christmas!" and thrust the two vials toward her.
She looked at the vials in confusion, and then at him, raising her eyebrows. "I found a potion in one of the books yesterday. I didn't want to tell you until I had successfully brewed it. It's called The Remembrance Potion and it hasn't been heard of in about a century."
When she realized what it meant that he had just said she started crying. "Oh, Professor! Thank you! Thank you! Oh my God! Thank you!" She threw herself into his arms and hugged him. He hugged her back and when she pulled away she kissed him.
He grabbed her hips and kissed her back, but in doing so, dropped the vials. Hermione pulled away, gasping as she looked down. "I've got plenty more." Severus said, as he pulled her back to him and kissed her again.
He drew his tongue along her bottom lip and she opened further, getting completely lost in his kiss. She ran her hands through his hair, which was soft and silky, not at all greasy. After a while, who cares how long, Severus slowly pulled away. When he got his breathing under control again, he said. "My apologies, Miss Granger. I should not have done that."
"No offence, Professor, but screw your apologies. I've wanted to do that for months. And I'm not sorry." She giggled at his shocked expression. He schooled his features and said, "nonetheless, I am your Professor and you are my student. It. cannot happen again." Hermione's face fell. "You don't want me." She stated and looked down, trying not to cry in front of him. "You are wrong, Miss Granger. Hermione. I do want you. More than you know. However, until you are no longer a student, I cannot allow this to happen again, no matter my feelings on the matter."
She had looked up when he said her name. He had never said her name. Her name sounded enchanting coming from him. "So, when I graduate, we can explore this, whatever this is, between us?" she asked hopefully. He swallowed and nodded, getting another one of her beaming smiles, that always left him breathless, in return.
Severus decided to hold onto the potion until she took her trip in the summer. He thought the vials would be safer in his storage than in her rooms and she had to agree. They spent the rest of the day companionable silence reading and occasionally talking about something one of them read. Before she left he offered her a Christmas present. "I did not get you a gift, but I would like to offer you your choice of book from my shelves. Choose whatever you like." Her eyes lit up and she ran to his shelves. She quickly found the book she had been eyeing a few days before. It was a book on how charms can manipulate potions, something she found fascinating. You have to be a master at charms and potions to pull it off.
He nodded his approval at her choice and walked her to the door. "I had something for you as well, but I didn't bring it because I didn't know how you'd perceive it, but I'll bring it tomorrow, if that's alright?" At his nod, she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek like she did every night and walked out without another word.
She started rummaging through her trunk when she got back to her room. She had the perfect thing for him. When she had been on the run with the boys she had found some fairies and had acquired some of their wings. She knew they were an expensive potions ingredient. She had also gotten some of the dragon's blood. She found them and placed them on her desk so she could give them to Severus in the morning. She loved thinking of him as Severus.
Severus sat down with a glass of Ogden's and wondered why Hermione, he loved her name, wanted to kiss him. He didn't think he would ever understand witches. He downed his drink and went to bed wondering what she could possibly be giving him tomorrow.
Hermione woke up late and was the last to get to breakfast that morning. As she was entering, Severus was leaving. "Miss Granger, I had begun to worry. I'll see you in a little while?" She nodded and continued into the Great Hall. She ate quickly and rushed down to Severus' quarters.
As soon as she was inside she thrust the fairy wings and dragons blood into his hands. He looked at them and very nearly dropped his jaw. "These are very hard to come by. How could you afford these?" "I didn't," she said. "Last year, in the Forest of Dean I came across some fairies. And you heard about the dragon we rode out of Gringott's."
"Thank you. I have rarely had dragon's blood in my stores, and have never had fairy wings. Are you sure you wish for me to have these?" She nodded emphatically. "I know you'll put them to good use."
Severus put them away carefully in his stores and then they passed the day in much the same way as the past week. In fact, the rest of the holiday break was spent much the same way. They continued to read, talk, and share longing looks every day.
The night before everyone was to return their conversation turned to what would become of their new found friendship. "The next few months will be busy. You'll be studying for your NEWTS, and I'll be preparing for OWLS and NEWTS, not to mention all the finals for the other years. If you would be amiable, I would like to spend some time with you Sunday afternoons. I'd personally like it to be more often, but I know that is unlikely to happen." Hermione readily agreed. She'd take a few hours over none at all.
The next day they seemed to pick back up with their longing looks during every meal. Severus was already missing having her to himself. He could not wait for her graduation.
The following Sunday couldn't have come soon enough for Hermione. She longed for her daily time with Severus. She knew he was right about not letting anything else happen between them until she graduated, but that didn't stop her from wishing. After lunch on Sunday she told her friends she'd be in the library and then quickly made her way down to Severus' quarters.
He quickly let her in and when he turned around she kissed him. It was a chaste kiss, but it still startled him. Before he could say anything she held up her hand. "I know what you said. And I won't do it again. I just missed up so much." She sighed. "I don't know how I'm going to last another five months."
"It will be difficult for me as well, but we must. I could get fired and you could get expelled. Not to mention what it would do to your reputation."
They sat on opposite ends of the couch and talked about their week. The time went by too quickly for both of them. They continued on this schedule, meeting every Sunday afternoon for the next few months.
Toward the end of April, they had both realized they were in love with one another, but both were too terrified to tell one another. They knew they both lusted after each other. Anyone would know that if they took the time to notice the hunger in their eyes when they looked at each other.
On April 29th, a Friday, the headmistress stood up at dinner to make an announcement. "As you are all aware, we are coming up on the one-year anniversary of the final battle. Also, one month from today, our 7th years will be graduating. In honor of these two events, since so many of our 7th years fought in that battle, we will hold graduation in the morning and a ball in the evening. The ball will only be for 7th years and those who were at the final battle. And yes, boys, it is formal attire. Thank you."
As the headmistress sat down there was a lot of excitement from the girls in the hall. Hermione looked up and caught Severus' eye. She wished she could go with him. Or at least dance with him. But she knew he wouldn't.
Severus had known already about the ball, seeing as it was the main topic of discussion at the last staff meeting. He noticed the longing look Hermione gave him. He had already been thinking about it. The graduation is that morning. She'll no longer, technically, be a student at the time of the ball. Perhaps he should talk to Minerva about it. He knew she most likely would not be thrilled, but he could be honest with her and let her know his intentions were not dishonorable.
Severus leaned over and spoke with Minerva. "I would like to meet with you this evening, if you have the time, Minerva." She looked over at Severus and saw the serious, yet slightly apprehensible, expression on his face and agreed. "I'm free right after dinner, Severus." Ten minutes later Severus followed her out of the Great Hall.
When they were in the headmistress' office she asked him what he needed to discuss. Severus let out a deep breath and sat down. He looked her in the eye and hoped he didn't get sacked for what he was about to tell her. "I have developed feelings for Miss Granger. If I am not mistaken, she has feelings for me as well. We kissed once, on Christmas, but I have not allowed any further physical contact." Before mentioning the ball, he wanted to gauge her reaction to this.
They heard a chuckle behind Minerva and both turned to look at Albus' portrait. "What, Albus?" asked Minerva. "My dear Minerva, can't you see? Severus has finally fallen in love. And what a match he and Miss Granger will make. Neither could have found someone better suited for one another. I believe our Severus here is quite nervous about confronting you about one of your favorite cubs." Severus glared at him. Even in portrait form he was still able to see right to the root of him.
Minerva turned back to Severus. "Is that true, Severus? Is it love?" "Yes, Minerva, it is. At least on my side. I have not told her so, and she has not shared the depth of her feelings either." Minerva nodded, seeming lost in thought. "Well, since nothing untoward has occurred I see no reason to take action. Was there anything else?"
"Actually, yes. Since the ball will be taking place after their graduation ceremony, is it safe to assume they will technically no longer be students?" Minerva let out a short laugh. "I see. Yes, Severus, they will have graduated at that point and will no longer be students. You may approach her at the ball. I have to say, I quite think she would enjoy your attention if she feels even a fraction for you as you feel for her."
Severus gave a short nod and thanked her before leaving. Gods, that had been humiliating, but he was glad he had her blessing at least. That means no one could say anything against his actions. Walking back to his rooms he decided that he wouldn't tell Hermione. He wanted to surprise her at the ball.
That Sunday Hermione kept trying to come up with ways to bring up the ball as nonchalantly as she could, but she never got any sort of reaction from him. She decided to stop trying. But she was determined to look her absolute best at the ball to grab his attention. She knew he'd be there. All the professors had to go.
NEWTS crept up on them a lot faster than most of the students were prepared for. Hermione was more than ready for them, though. She got O's in every class, as is anyone expected any less of her. She was thrilled with her results.
The week before, Hermione, Ginny, and Luna had gone to Hogsmeade to get their gowns for the ball. Hermione had found an aqua-marine colored mermaid style dress with beading along the bodice and hips that she had instantly fallen in love with. It was classy, yet sexy. She hoped it would grab Severus' attention.
The morning of graduation rolled around and Hermione was excited and nervous. During the ceremony she cried, laughed, and celebrated with her friends. Their school days were finally over. It was time for the next phase of their lives. It was truly bitter-sweet.
But then it was time to get ready for the ball. Luna and Ginny joined Hermione in her room to get ready. They helped each other with their hair and makeup and gushed over how they all looked in their gowns. When they walked down the stairs and into the common room they were met with dead silence. Then all of a sudden all the boys were either complimenting them or cat calling. They laughed it off and left the common room.
Hermione waited until after her friends had gone in so she could enter the hall alone. She wanted to make an entrance. Taking a deep breath, she steeled herself and walked in. She definitely made an entrance. Just about every pair of male eyes in the room fell on her. She saw several girls glare at her. Oddly enough, it made her feel giddy. No one ever looked at her like that.
She slowly walked around the room simultaneously looking for her friends and the one man whose opinion truly mattered to her. She finally found her friends, but never caught sight of Severus.
Severus had found a secluded spot in a corner in the back of the hall where he could mostly stay hidden, yet have a perfect view of the hall doors. Oh, he had noticed her entrance all right. She was the most stunning creature he had ever seen. He was glad he was hidden, because at that moment, there was no hiding the complete adoration he had on his face as he watched her.
Severus had already spoken with the DJ and knew that he would be playing a slow song after two faster songs. That's when he would ask her to dance. At that moment the first song began. He watched her dance with her friends for a couple minutes before she left them and went to get a drink. The second song started as she got her drink and he started slowly making his way toward her.
His heart was pounding. His hands were sweating. Gods, what was wrong with him? You'd think he was a teenaged boy asking the prettiest girl in school to dance for the first time. But no, instead he was a grown man asking the prettiest girl in school to dance. As he got closer she finally caught sight of him. She smiled then, and noticed that he was looking at her the way she had hoped he would.
"Hermione," he spoke as he reached her side. "Hello Professor." He cocked his head to the side. "You may call me Severus now. I am no longer your Professor." He noticed the song fading out and he held out his hand. "Would you care to dance?" Hermione's eyes got big, and as she noticed a slow song coming on, she set her cup down, took his hand, and said, "I would love to."
As he leads her onto the dance floor Hermione realized she recognized the song. She sighed. How perfect, she thought. Severus noticed the sigh and turned to her with a questioning look. "It's the song. I know it. I just thought it was kind of appropriate. It's called Feel This by an American muggle named Bethany Joy Lenz. It's quite beautiful."
"Well, then," he said as he took her in his arms, "I guess I should pay attention to the lyrics." Hermione gulped and nodded, unable to speak. She had noticed a lot of people looking at them, but didn't care. She only had eyes for Severus. She could tell he was taking in the lyrics. Could he read between the lines? Did he know how much she cared about him? They continued to dance, listening to the lyrics and never breaking their gaze from one another.
As the song started to come to a close they stopped dancing. "Hermione," Severus started, "A few months ago you asked if we could explore whatever this was between us after you graduated. I have to tell you, though, I have fallen completely and irrevocable in love with you. If you can't at least see yourself possibly feeling the same for me eventually, then unfortunately, I'll have to say it ends here, because I'm already in too deep." A tear ran down Hermione's cheek at his words. He brought his hand up and placed it on her cheek and wiped her tear away with his thumb.
"Severus, I love you. I love you so much. I had dreamed you felt the same, but I never let myself hope for it. Can you kiss me now?"
Severus bent down and brushed his lips against hers, still aware they had an audience. He pulled back and lead her off the dance floor. "Perhaps you should return to your friends. They seem shell-shocked and would probably like some answers." She kissed his quickly and walked off to her friends who promptly started peppering her with questions. Over the next hour she danced with multiple people and seemed to have a couple heated discussion with those she called "her boys."
He noticed her join her two female friends on the dance floor to what seemed like some kind of female empowerment song. That's when he noticed Potter and Weasley approaching him. He sighed. He supposed he knew this would happen.
Before he could get a word out, Weasley spoke. "She told us everything. I'm not happy about it, but she's happy, so I'll accept it. But it you ever hurt her, you'll have us to deal with." He lifted an eyebrow at that statement and then Potter started in. "Ditto what he said, but also, I'm really happy for you too, sir. You deserve to be happy. I'm glad Hermione can give you that." Severus was shocked they weren't furious with him. Maybe they had matured more than he gave them credit for. "I understand. And thank you." He held out his hand to Weasley and then to Potter. They all shook hands and then they left to go back to their group.
Severus continued to eye Hermione over the next couple songs. He was itching to leave and be alone with her. She felt eyes on her and glanced his way. She knew how he was feeling. She felt the same. She excused herself from her friends and started walking toward him. On her way another song came on that she recognized, and it made her stop in her tracks. Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen. She could do something with this. She smiled.
Severus noticed the smile. He had never seen her smile that way. It made him nervous. She began walking toward him again, but this time she was sort of dancing as she walked and it was so sensual. She got the attention of just about every male she passed, but she kept her eyes on his. Breathing was becoming quite difficult for Severus.
As she reached him she took his hands and placed them on her hips and she kept moving against him. She leaned in and whispered into his ear, "do you have hungry eyes, Severus?" He simply nodded, completely dumbfounded and unable to speak for the first time in his life. Her smile grew and she turned around in his arms, putting her back against his chest. She lifted her right arm and put it behind his neck, bringing him in for a kiss as she turned her head. As the song ended she turned back around to face him and whispered, "so do I."
Severus grabbed Hermione's hand and dragged her from the hall, laughing.