Rating: K
Summary: Kise and Kagami are stupid and Kise thinks that subtlety is outdated.
This is my gift for knbss15 on tumblr!
One-shot: Get a hint already
Kise wants to scream and punch something. Or someone.
He stares at the screen of his phone in an attempt to read a subtext message, something that would give him the idea that he isn't doing all things wrong, but no, the words are thick black on white background.
'yeah that'd be nice, did you invite other ppl?'
"It's a freaking date, you idiot!"
How is he supposed to reply to a text so—so—innocent? Like, there is only one reason as to why someone would ask another person for lunch or dinner after weeks of texting. Kise has been patient, has dropped some hints about his intentions for months, even—from before and during the texting—but it seems that it hasn't been enough to get through Kagami Taiga's thick skull.
Kise buries his head in his pillow for the grand total of four seconds before picking up his phone again and punching—literally punching—a reply that can pass for the diplomatic way of murder.
'Nope, I thought it would be great to just spend some time together!'
If that doesn't help the whole message of 'I-want-to-date-you-please-notice-it', Kise will give up on subtlety and will instead charge head-on with a kiss.
He waited two minutes before his phone buzzes and shows him the words that will decide his fate and Kagami's.
'sure, why not, we're friends after all'
Kise has lost hope in humanity.
"Oh fuck Kuroko, what do I do? Why did he invite me for lunch? How? I mean, why just me?"
"Kagami-kun, please breathe and make coherent sentences."
Kagami sighs and passes a hand on his face, feeling suddenly very stupid for bringing up the topic. It's not as if Kuroko knew anything about him and Kise... or as if the texts he receives are filled with hearts and all kind of emojis that suggest something he would gladly welcome... and why the well would he discuss such private matters with someone who could very well act behind his back like a sneaky bastard? Because Kuroko is totally a sneaky bastard!
"So, are you telling me that you are panicking because Kise-kun invited you for lunch?" Kuroko repeats with his usual blank expression. "Is it a bad thing?"
"Yes! I mean no!" Kagami stammers.
He doesn't make any sense and he knows it, but he can't wrap his head around the fact that Kise invited him for lunch, just the two of them!
"I really don't see where the problem is, unless you see that invitation as a date and you are uncomfortable with the idea."
Kagami swears that at this very moment, he sees the ghost of a smirk on Kuroko's lips—but it's short-lived as it vanishes when he blinks. He can't help gaping at his friend and stops right in front the locker rooms, realizing that if he carries the conversation the whole team will be aware of his little meeting with one of their rivals. He clears his throat and gestures to himself, blocking any thought about Kuroko actually knowing what he thought would stay unknown.
"I'm not uncomfortable with the idea of spending time with Kise, what are you talking about? I just want to say that I'm, like, his rival, and shouldn't rivals stay away from each other?"
Kuroko steps forward and rests his hand on the doorknob, looking both pensive and amused. He turns his head toward Kagami and, with a voice that betrays none of his emotions, says:
"You may need to know that you are an awful liar, Kagami-kun, and that your feelings are basically speaking for themselves through these lies."
Kagami watches Kuroko disappears behind the door. What the fuck.
"Being cryptic won't help me, Kuroko!" he cries out and rushes inside in turn, ignoring the flaring red on his cheeks as he's definitely found out.
The lunch Kise has organized is on Sunday, and it's currently Saturday afternoon. He is in Kaijou for extra practice with his team and he can't really concentrate with the knowledge that he'll meet the densest guy the world has ever borne tomorrow. He knows that Kagami isn't the brightest person when it comes to social matters and relationships, but one can hope that something as big as a date could knock some sense into his head!
Kise slams a dunk into the basket and lands swiftly on the ground.
"Nice one, Kise!"
"Stop showing off like that!"
He puts on a grin and waves, dismissing all the comments before flashing a thumb up. Hayakawa jumps up and down as a sign of his enthusiasm—which has doubled ever since he has been appointed as captain—and bellows some orders that make all the players scatter then gather in groups. Kise steps to the side and stands next to Nakamura, who raises en eyebrow at him.
"You seem rather upset today," he points out. "Your movements are a bit stiff."
Kise chuckles and shrugs.
"Nah, nothing's wrong," he answers. He pauses for two seconds before asking on a casual tone, "What would you do if someone doesn't get the meaning of your message, even though you've been dropping hints for weeks?"
Nakamura's other eyebrow climbs up and Kise wonders if he made the right choice to talk about the issue with his teammate.
"Well, I wouldn't know since I've never experienced it," Nakamura admits. "But I guess I would be frustrated and try a more direct approach."
Kise then beams at him and clasp Nakamura's shoulder, looking at him right in the eyes—the shooting guard looks both confused and a bit alarmed.
"You and I are on the same wavelength," Kise announces. "Thanks for the piece of advice."
"You're welcome… ?"
Kise partly knows that his plan of kissing Kagami isn't the best and probably unsafe but right now he thinks it's his only option, and having someone confirm the validity of his idea is reassuring.
(Although he didn't mention it at all.)
So he ignores Nakamura's inquiring eyes and resumes practice, avoiding then Hayakawa's scolding about their lack of attention. The situation calls for drastic measures, so drastic measure he'll use—in the span of five minutes he regained all the confidence he needed to face his dear Kagami. Well. Just hoping that the plan won't backfire.
Kagami scratches his head and tries to look at ease even though his heart is about to leap out of his chest with Kuroko's words playing again and again in his head like an incessant bad advertisement—"you're overthinking, just be yourself and everything will go as you want". What does he want? Does he even want something? He simply wants the—lunch to go as smoothly as possible without any mishap or anything that will embarrass him, thus preventing him from looking like a complete idiot. Because apparently, according to Kuroko, and his whole team, Kagami should work on his squirming and stammering when he's confused or awkward as it makes his behavior… clumsy. Shy. Not Kagami-like.
In any case he's standing in front of the restaurant he's been told to wait at, scanning the crowd in search of a blond head that will likely crush him into a hug if he isn't careful—how many times did Kise attack him like that and resulted in him stumbling and making a fool of himself? Maybe this is why Kuroko tells him to train his stance, even outside of the court; to defend himself from the assaults of an overexcited model. He just needs to dodge, doesn't he?
"Kagamicchi!"
As if on cue Kagami whips his head to the right and masterfully escapes Kise's arms that were about to grip him into a chokehold—probably—by ducking. He then lifts his gaze to see a pouting Kise, lips curled and eyes shining with an emotion that he can't quite put a name on—something like determination and frustration. The model is wearing clothes in light colors, mainly blue and yellow as usual, which make him look pretty good, Kagami must admit. He instantly feels self-conscious of his casual pants and t-shirt that give the vibes of an average teenager in contrast with Kise's charisma.
"That was mean!" Kise whines. "Why did you dodge?"
"Have you ever heard of personal space?" Kagami sputters.
No, no, this came off as wrong!
Kise is staring at him with a sudden blankness that seems borrowed from Kuroko.
"You've never said anything before," Kise mumbles. "Does this mean you only allow your significant other to approach you like that?"
And then Kagami feels his cheeks burning up as Kise draws closer, eyelashes fluttering and a mysterious smile tugging at his lips. He swallows.
"W-Well, maybe, I don't think about that kind of stuff," he says.
"You should," Kise chuckles. "So, why do you think I invited you for lunch today?"
Kagami takes a step back to breathe again, lungs filled with air that has taken a liking to stay there and to block blood circulation. He also tries to ignore his mind supplying the innuendo behind Kise's words, because what the fuck—Kise doesn't feel like that towards him, no, no.
"I thought I said it already, because we're friends?" Kagami ventures, even though he perfectly knows this sounds unconvincing. "I mean, it's like, totally normal for guys too to meet up and have lunch."
Kise's smile tightens and Kagami knows he's doomed. Kise Ryouta, faking a smile, and actually not trying to hide it, only means bad omen.
"Yeah? Then I would have invited Kurokocchi too, and Aominecchi, and even Midorimacchi," he indicates.
Kagami can't argue with that.
"Kagamicchi, please tell me you're not that dense," Kise continues, dropping the smile and sighing. "I mean, you've got all the elements to figure it out! I'm giving up here, for your information!"
His mind proceeds to short-circuit without further ado.
"Wait, wait, wait," Kagami exclaims. "Am I supposed to understand... this as that? Like... the hearts and the kissing emojis and all that crap?"
"Yes, 'all that crap'," Kise sounds terribly tired of it that Kagami winces.
"I mean, you don't send these to every friend of your contact list?"
"No! Okay, maybe for the hearts, but the kissing emojis to a very lesser extent!"
"But you send them all the same! Kuroko even said to me that he received them several times!"
"Kurokocchi is a special case, he doesn't count!"
"Damn it, I'm not an expert on relationships!"
"Alright, I think it's time for me to decide how we end this argument."
Kagami doesn't have time to think or to guess what Kise means that the model barrels into him and presses his lips against his, in a quick but strong kiss that barely lasts five seconds. When they pull away, they are both sporting several shades of red on their faces and even though Kise sounded so confident a moment ago, right now he looks lost and ready to run for his life. Kagami, on the other hand, stares stupidly at the model.
"Uh," he smartly enunciates.
"This was better in my head," Kise mutters.
They both awkwardly stand here, in the middle of the street with eyes looking everywhere except at the other's face. Kagami honestly doesn't know if the beating he hears is his own heart or his brain trying to tell him to do something instead of acting like a statue, and damn Kise is cute when he's embarrassed.
He finally exhales through his nose and rubs his neck, unsure of how to phrase his words.
"Okay, if I knew you were feeling the way I did, I would have done something sooner," he admits sheepishly.
This at least gets an immediate reaction from Kise whose eyes widen in disbelief.
"Are you telling me you were playing oblivious even though I was being so obvious?" he cries out. "Oh my god, why are you so dumb?"
"Hey! Like I said, I'm not an expert!"
"And here I was fearing my death and potentially my whole friendship with you!"
Kise begins to shed crocodile tears and puts his hand on his chest in a dramatic gesture, drawing a snigger from Kagami who rolls his eyes. In one action the tension dissipated and they are now smiling, albeit a bit shyly but smiling all the same.
"What would you have done if I rejected you?" Kagami asks, feeling quite surprised at Kise's forwardness.
"I knew you wouldn't have," Kise replies without a beat. "You were way too self-conscious about the lunch thing, and no offense, but your face matched your hair."
Kagami coughs in his fist and flushes even more, averting his eyes, even though his stomach isn't churning anymore and is instead bursting with butterflies. Kise laughs and takes his hand.
"Then, let's go on that date that was a date from the start," he grins.
Kagami squeezes back.
"Yeah, let's do that."