Her Father's Daughter

By Dulcey

Author's Notes:

For Famous99, in response to her challenge. This will be a three-part story. I own nothing.

PAIRING/CHARACTERS Lindsay & Caleb and any other Cohens. Ryan should show up. Renee Wheeler too.
PREFERRED LENGTH It's not a story unless it's at least 1,000 words, but the longer the better!
SCENARIO and PLOT: Caleb decides he wants to be a part of Lindsay's life. He wants to take on more of a parental role.
RATING: PG to R
SMUT?: No. Not necessarily. Though of if Ryan comes around and they decide to get it on, that would be fine.
SPECIFICS?: While Lindsay's ultimate feelings about this will be up to the author, I'd like Lindsay to be ambivalent. She'd like a father. Yet Caleb is a stranger. But Ryan should hate the idea of Caleb telling Lindsay what to do. Perhaps that little scene in the preview, where Ryan gets in Caleb's face can be an issue.

"So it was true. All her life she had thought her father dead while he was living…but he and mother had not liked each other and she had not been wanted. Jane found that it was a very curious and unpleasant sensation to feel that your parents had not wanted you."

--Jane of Lantern Hill, L.M. Montgomery

When Lindsay Gardner was seven, she liked to think that her father was someone like BJ Hunnicutt on MASH, who was a medical surgeon in the Korean War whose job required him to be stationed half a world away from his wife and daughter. Lindsay liked BJ because she could tell that he really loved his family and hated being so far away from them. But he didn't have a choice, and besides, he had a very important job saving the lives of hurt soldiers. Lindsay's mom liked to watch the show after dinner every night, and Lindsay would sit on the sofa and watch with her, hoping that wherever her dad was, he was missing her too.

When she first asked about her father, when she was about five, her mom had told her that he lived in England where he worked hard to find cures for diseases that made people sick. Renee added more details as Lindsay got older: her father's name was Michael Gardner, he and her mom had dated when they were in college, and he had been awarded a Rhodes scholarship to study in England after graduation. He had left for Oxford three days before Renee found out that she was pregnant with Lindsay. They had decided through a series of letters and transatlantic phone calls that they were too young to get married, but Michael wanted Lindsay to know that even though he wasn't there, she still had a father who loved her.

Lindsay was ten when she read a book called Jane of Lantern Hill. The story was about a twelve year old girl named Jane who lived with her mother and grandmother and who had grown up believing that her father was dead. Then one day, she found out that he was alive, and that he had written to her mother asking that she send Jane to live with him for the summer so that he could get to know her. Jane hadn't wanted to go, actually, she had hated her father for leaving her mother and for not being there while she was growing up. But she went to live with him for the summer, and found out that her father had stayed away for all those years because he hadn't wanted to confuse her, and that he had loved her all along.

At the end of the book, Jane's parents got together again, which Lindsay thought was a bit silly, but she liked that Jane had gotten to know and love her father, and she dreamed that something similar might happen to her. Not that she would want to live with her dad, or that she thought that her parents would get back together. Even at ten, Lindsay didn't believe in fairy tales or happily ever after. But she liked to believe that just maybe, her father might break his long isolation and decide to become a part of Lindsay's life after all.

It all seemed so silly and naïve, Lindsay thought as she sat on her front porch after the Chrismukkah party had broken up. Every year, she had hoped for something from her dad, and every year she had been disappointed.

She never thought she'd find herself nostalgic for disappointment.

Her father wasn't named Michael Gardner, and he didn't live in England or work as a research scientist. Instead, he was a developer who was facing prison time, a man who had been married with two daughters when Lindsay was born. He was old and from what Lindsay had heard around Newport about him, he wasn't a very nice person. He was more like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons than BJ Hunnicutt from MASH. All of that would have been disappointing enough. But the worst part of it, the part she couldn't even think about without aching, was that he had been in Newport the whole time she was growing up, and hadn't shown the slightest bit of interest in her. According to Caleb Nichol, Lindsay was nothing more than an "error in judgement" that had almost destroyed his marriage.

Lindsay heard the front door creak open, and her mother's hesitant footsteps as Renee came and sat beside her. "Lindsay, honey? Are you okay?"

Lindsay bit her lip and tried to blink back her tears. "Why did you lie to me? Why did you tell me all those stories about my father if none of them were true?"

"Oh, Lindsay," Renee sighed. "I never meant for this to happen. I know it sounds silly, but I was trying to protect you."

"Thanks, mom," Lindsay said bitterly. "It was so much easier to find out like this." She felt a pang of guilt at the hurt expression on her mother's face, and added "I know you had your reasons, but I wish you'd told me."

"I know," Renee agreed. "I'm sorry, Lindsay."

"Why did you tell me my father was named Michael Gardner?" Lindsay continued. "Did you make that up too?"

"Michael really was my boyfriend in college," Renee answered. "And he did go to Oxford on a Rhodes scholarship and become a research scientist. We broke up because he wanted to marry me and I wasn't ready to settle down. I let you believe that he was your father because I wanted to give you someone you could look up to."

"But he's not my father," Lindsay said.

Renee shook her head. "No."

Lindsay stood up and brushed off her hands on the sides of her jeans. "I'm going to bed."

"Lindsay, I'm sorry," Renee repeated.

Her mother looked tired and resigned, and Lindsay couldn't help feeling sorry for her. She was still angry at her mom for lying to her, but she had done it out of caring for Lindsay. She knew that her mom loved her. At least one of her parents did.

"I know." She managed a weak smile for Renee. "Goodnight, Mom."

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Lindsay slept late the next morning, and by the time she got up at ten thirty, Renee had already left for work. She poured herself a bowl of cereal in the kitchen and sat down at the table with it as she tried to figure out what she was going to do for the day. Ordinarily she would have spent the time studying, but the semester was over and none of her teachers had assigned homework. She supposed that she could always study ahead if she wanted, but the idea seemed hopelessly nerdish, even for her.

Still, it was either study or spend the day thinking about how her mother had lied to her for sixteen years and how her father was one of the most notorious men in Newport. Lindsay finished her cereal and put the bowl in the dishwasher, and was halfway to her room before she got the idea to call Ryan and see if he wanted to study physics with her. Or study chemistry with her. Or study anat--she shook her head. She was getting a little ahead of herself.

Back in the kitchen, she picked up the cordless phone and punched in the number for Ryan's pool house, trying not to dwell on the fact that she had just met this boy and she had already memorized his number. She and Ryan were lab partners, after all, and it was a safe bet that she would be calling him even more during the second semester. There was nothing wrong with that. Besides, he was very cute, and he kissed really well.

"Hello?" Lindsay was brought out of her pleasant fantasy by Ryan's voice, which sounded a little groggy. She had probably woken him up. "Can I help you?"

Lindsay giggled. She couldn't help herself. "Is that how you answer the phone? You're the politest person I've ever met."

"Hey," Ryan greeted her, his voice now filled with genuine pleasure. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," Lindsay assured him hastily. She was sure that Ryan would be a good listener when she was ready to talk about everything that had happened this Chrismukkah, but for right now, she wanted not to think about it. "Um, are you doing anything today? Because my mom's at work and I'm home by myself and…" This was sounding much more suggestive than she intended. "I thought we could hang out together. Get a jump start on next semester's physics lab or something."

"Actually, I promised Seth that I'd go with him to find this new comic store that opened in LA," Ryan answered. Lindsay could hear the genuine regret in his voice. "But we should be back by four thirty or so. I could drop Seth off at home and come over to your place."

"Sure," Lindsay agreed, trying to hide her disappointment. She still had the entire day to kill, but at least she'd have an evening with Ryan to look forward to. "Maybe I'll go rent a couple of movies for us to watch."

"Okay," Ryan agreed. "I'll call you when I'm leaving the Cohens. And I'll bring pizza. See you at five."

He hung up before she could protest. Lindsay sighed and shook her head. Ryan could be hopelessly stubborn, but if she was honest with herself, that was one of the things she liked best about him.

She was about to place the phone back in its receiver when the phone rang again, startling her. She glanced at the Caller ID and saw that it read Cohen. Ryan again.

The voice on the other end of the line was definitely not Ryan's. Lindsay placed it immediately--Kirsten Cohen, Ryan's foster mother and her long-lost half-sister. "Hi, Lindsay?"

"Hi Kirsten," Lindsay greeted her nervously. She liked Kirsten from what she knew of her, and Ryan said wonderful things about her, but relative or no, Lindsay was still a bit shy with adults she didn't know.

"I was wondering if you had any plans for today?" Kirsten continued, sounding almost as nervous as Lindsay felt. "I took the day off of work and I thought you might like to come shopping with me."

"That would be great," Lindsay assured her. "I'd really like that."

"Great!" Kirsten exclaimed. "I'll come by and pick you up. We'll get lunch afterwards. Make a day of it."

"That would really be great," Lindsay repeated, still feeling a bit shy. "Thanks Mrs. C--Kirsten," she concluded.

Kirsten smiled. "I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

By the time Kirsten and Lindsay sat down for lunch at the food court, Lindsay owned a new pair of jeans, two new skirts, and half a dozen tops that Kirsten had insisted on buying for her. "It's my pleasure," Kirsten had insisted, waving away Lindsay's protests. "Besides, I owe you sixteen years worth of birthday and Christmas presents."

Lindsay sat down with her Caesar salad and handed Kirsten a stack of napkins. "Thanks again for the clothes, Kirsten," she said shyly. "It was so nice of you to invite me here with you today."

Kirsten smiled warmly. "Thank you for coming, Lindsay. I know it's quite a shock to find out you've got a sister you never knew about, but I hope we can be close. You seem like a wonderful girl."

Lindsay flushed, and wished she didn't feel so awkward whenever someone complimented her. "I'd like that too."

"Besides," Kirsten added, "I've always wanted to have a girl to shop for. Seth and Ryan are good boys, but they're not too into shopping."

Lindsay laughed. "They don't know what they're missing."

"So how are you holding up?" Kirsten asked, changing topics. "If you don't mind my asking?"

"Okay," Lindsay began, staring down at her salad. She glanced at Kirsten and felt reassured by the concerned expression on her face. "I mean, it's a lot to get used to, but it's getting easier. And," she added shyly, "Your family seems really nice."

"They're your family too," Kirsten said gently. "And even Dad's not so bad once you get used to him. Although I'd still like to break his neck for what he did." Seeing Lindsay shrink back, she quickly explained "It doesn't have anything to do with you, Lindsay. You're a wonderful girl and as far as I'm concerned, the best thing about what happened. No matter what happens between Dad and me, you'll always be my sister."

"Can I ask you something?" Lindsay asked, feeling slightly better after Kirsten's last words.

Kirsten reached across the table and touched Lindsay's hand gently. "Of course you can, Lindsay."

"What's he really like?" Lindsay blurted out. "I know you're mad at him now, but was he a good dad to you?"

Kirsten read the longing in the girl's voice. "He was," she answered softly. "Dad doesn't make very good first impressions, but he was always there for me and Hailey. He's not one to wear his heart on his sleeve, but I always knew that he loved me."

"Who's Hailey?" Lindsay asked.

Kirsten sighed. She hadn't meant to give Lindsay one more thing to deal with, but then again, she would find out eventually. "Hailey's my sister. Our sister, actually."

"Wow," Lindsay mused. "Where was she at Chrismukkah?"

"She's in Japan right now," Kirsten answered. "Hailey's hard to describe. She's a…she's a free spirit. You'll be meeting her one of these days, I'm sure. She always comes back to Newport."

"It's still kind of weird," Lindsay confessed. "It was just me and Mom my whole life, and now I've got a sister--two sisters--and maybe a dad too, although I don't know if he wants anything to do with me."

Kirsten shook her head. "Lindsay, as mad as I am at him right now, I can't accuse him of being a bad father. He almost went to jail to protect you from finding out the truth. He would have to be completely heartless not to want to know you, and although he can give a good impression of it, that's not what he's really like. I'm sure he's giving you time to deal with everything that's happened, but I'm willing to bet that he'll want to meet you soon."

Lindsay thought about what Kirsten said and felt a little better. She didn't know whether she wanted Caleb in her life or not, but it was comforting to think that her father did want her after all.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Kirsten dropped her off at home at quarter till five, and five minutes, Ryan called. Lindsay was glad he hadn't called earlier--she liked Kirsten a lot, but she wasn't ready to tell her that she and Ryan were dating. Or, were considering dating. Actually, she wasn't quite sure what they were, but she knew that she liked him and they were definitely more than just lab partners.

She wasn't going to analyze this now. Ryan was going to be at her place in ten minutes, and she hadn't had time to go to the video store. Lindsay pulled out her collection of videos and DVDs and looked through them, trying to find something that Ryan might like. Pretty Woman, no, Coyote Ugly, probably not, Gone With the Wind, maybe, if it wasn't too long. She set out all the movies that weren't necessarily chick flicks and decided to let Ryan choose.

Ryan rang the doorbell promptly at five o'clock. "Hi," he greeted her with one of his famous Ryan Atwood smiles. "I didn't know what kind of pizza you liked so I got one with everything and one with just cheese."

Lindsay smiled. "You are definitely not the dumb water polo player I thought you were."

"Thanks," Ryan grinned. "You really know how to compliment a guy."

"I decided to let you pick the movie," Lindsay continued as Ryan set the pizza boxes down on the coffee table and sat down on the sofa. "I didn't get a chance to go to the video store, so you're stuck with what we've got in the house."

Ryan shuffled through the DVDs. "I've never seen Gone With the Wind."

"Then we're watching it," Lindsay decided, putting the DVD into the player. "It's a downright shame that you haven't seen the best movie ever made."

"I thought Rocky was the best movie ever made," Ryan teased.

Lindsay shook her head. "That's because you haven't seen Gone With the Wind."

"Want to make a bet?" Ryan challenged. "If I watch this and still like Rocky better, you have to buy the pizza next time and I get to pick the movie."

"And if I win, you have to go to the foreign film festival with me next month," Lindsay shot back.

"I'm agreeing because I'm going to win," Ryan told her, shaking her hand.

"Famous last words," Lindsay replied.

They sat back as the opening credits rolled across the screen. Lindsay became lost in the movie as she always did, although she was conscious that Ryan had put his arm around her shoulders during the scene where Atlanta was burning. She snuck a glance at him, and he appeared completely absorbed in the film. She smiled to herself. It looked like she was going to win the bet after all.

The doorbell rang in the middle of Scarlett making a dress out of the green curtains at Tara. Ryan reached for the remote. "Want me to pause it?"

Lindsay shook her head. "It's okay. I shouldn't be long." She made her way to the front door, unlocked the deadbolt, and found herself face-to-face with Caleb Nichol.

"Hello, Lindsay," her father said. His voice sounded a little stiff, and she couldn't decide whether he was nervous or if he always sounded like that. "I'm glad you're in."

Her voice came out in a whisper. "Why are you here?"

"Lindsay?" She turned to her right and saw Ryan standing next to her. His face hardened when he saw Caleb. "What do you want?"

"I'd like to speak with my daughter," Caleb answered shortly. Lindsay could tell there was no love lost between the two men. "I trust you don't have a problem with that."

Ryan touched Lindsay's shoulder. "Are you okay? Do you want me to leave?"

"I'm okay," she tried to assure him, although she felt anything but. "Can you give me a few minutes?"

"Sure," he agreed. Lindsay saw him give another warning look to Caleb before he disappeared into the kitchen.

"What's that boy doing here?" Caleb asked. "I wasn't aware that you were friends."

Lindsay sighed. "Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?"

Caleb shook his head. "I'm sorry. No, it wasn't. I'm here because I wanted to apologize again for what happened. I never meant for you to find out that way."

"Did you mean for me to find out at all?" Lindsay demanded, horrified to find herself blinking back tears.

"Lindsay, I know I've hurt a lot of people," Caleb tried to explain. "I know you must be wondering why you never heard from me while you were growing up. All I can say is that I thought I was protecting you by staying away."

"Or protecting yourself," Lindsay said bitterly.

"I know I'm no candidate for father of the year," Caleb continued. "But I've always cared about you and I've always been proud of you. And now that you know I'm your father, I'd like to get to know you."

"You had sixteen years to get to know me," Lindsay answered, straining to keep her voice from breaking.

"I did the best I could," Caleb told her. "Your mother was always good at giving me school photos and keeping me informed on how you were doing."

Lindsay risked a glance at him. Her father's face was completely sincere.

"She even sent me a video of your third grade class play," Caleb continued.

"The one on nutrition?" Lindsay asked, slightly stunned. "Where we all dressed up as different fruits and vegetables?"

Caleb nodded. "For what it's worth, I thought your little radish stole the show."

Lindsay couldn't help smiling. And as much as she hated to admit it, there was genuine love and pride in her father's voice. "I can't believe Mom sent you that."

"I'd very much like to get to know you," Caleb said again. "Can I take you out to lunch tomorrow?"

Lindsay found herself nodding. "I'd like that."

"Come by the Newport Group at noon," her father told her. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay," Lindsay agreed. "Twelve o'clock."

She closed the door and went into the kitchen to find Ryan. He looked up as she entered, a look of concern reflected in his blue eyes. "How did it go?"

"I'm going to have lunch with him tomorrow," Lindsay offered tentatively.

Ryan frowned. "It's probably none of my business, but be careful, okay?"

Lindsay was torn between annoyance and being touched that Ryan worried about her like that. "I'll be okay, Ryan. I'm a big girl--I can take care of myself."

"I know you can," he replied simply. "But be careful anyhow."

Lindsay decided to be flattered by his concern. "I will."

"Do I lose our bet if I say I want to see the rest of the movie now?" Ryan asked, changing topics.

Lindsay laughed. "No, but I have a feeling we'll be at the independent film festival next month."

They spent the rest of the evening watching the movie, and by the time it was over Ryan agreed grudgingly that it was indeed better than Rocky. "But don't tell anyone I said so," he pleaded. "I've got a reputation to uphold."

Lindsay laughed. "Your secret's safe with me."

Renee came home as Ryan was leaving, and although Lindsay could tell that her mother was surprised to see him, she thankfully didn't give Lindsay the third degree about it. Lindsay debated over whether to tell her mother that Caleb had stopped by, and decided that she didn't have to say anything right away. If her mother had waited sixteen years to tell her the truth about her father, then Lindsay wasn't going to feel too bad for waiting to tell her that she was going to lunch with Caleb Nichol tomorrow.

She went to bed wondering what tomorrow would bring, and if she could ever get used to being Caleb Nichol's daughter.