Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Notes: I was listing to a song, "The Art of Losing" by singer/songwriter Rebekah Jordan, it's from her LP, and it's a very beautiful song and reminded me of Yuki. So I started to randomly write this little one shot while listening to the song on repeat. There is a bit of melancholy to the story, however I would like to think that there is some optimism present at the end. Feel free to let me know what you all think by reviewing!
As always I would like to thank my beta's, Lissa and Jesse, my lovely sisters. Any mistakes, it's their fault. LOL. Also I would like to send this out to my lovely Koko-kun who will be thrilled that I'm writing again after being saddled with college. Ironic that it's always when I'm taking English and Lit courses I am inspired... Heh heh.
-Cassie
"The Art of Losing"
By C.K. Blake
How long has it been she's met him? At first they were acquaintances and she was a girl with a simple crush, then his one kindness to her made that crush grow into something more. Slowly they became friends, and she helped him with the lingering remnants of regret from his first love. After that shining moment where she saw him weep, she saw his rarely displayed humanity, things changed. She still chased him, but he would run from her. Always running from her. Every now and then he would pursue her or give her a call, but for the most part he was running away and she was giving chase.
She is now twenty-four, and he's twenty-five, and after so many years of chasing him her legs are growing tired, and maybe her head is finally seeing reason, even though her heart isn't weakening. Her heart isn't weakening, but it is breaking. Her head has been filled with doubts for years, and she knows she isn't the type of girl he's expected to date let alone be acquainted with. Still she's seen in him a kindness and humanity that she can't bring herself to turn away from.
She resigns herself to one last chase if he calls her again. She will play the game on his terms, even though she knows she's already lost. It is a small price to pay to have what she has wanted for so long, even if she can't hold on to it. Having a fleeting moment of happiness is something that she can hold on to, a precious memory.
He's bored, all of his friends are busy, Tsukasa with his wife and growing family, Rui is catching up on his sleep again, and Akira is caught up with the wife of a rival boss. There must be something he can find to do. He's made himself tea, meditated, done a tea ceremony, and yet still he is restless, listless, and dare he admit lonely?
With a sigh he pulls his phone from his pocket and begins to scroll through his long list of contacts. A number and name flashes across the screen that gives him pause, his breath caught for a moment in his throat and then a nostalgic smile tugs at his mouth. It's been too long since he's had a good run. The smile pulls into a smirk, his dark eyes sparkling in anticipation as he gives in to this strange impulse and hits the send button.
He chuckles as she picks up on the second ring, sounding breathless. "Moshi moshi?"
"Ah, Yuki-chan, would you care to join me for a light meal and tea this afternoon?"
"Nishikado-san?" she asks, and he can detect the confusion in her gentle voice, and he smiles and gives a little shake of his head. Very little has changed about this simple, commoner girl.
"Will that be a yes Yuki-chan?" he prompts.
"Hai! I have the day off," she says, and while there is excitement in her tone, he can also detect a bit of melancholy and resignation, and he wonders what could be wrong. He will find out soon enough.
"Good. I'll send a car for you in two hours," he answers and then hangs up the phone.
He wonders what is going on with Yuki, why there was a little hint of sadness in her tone along with the excitement. He can't help but worry a little, still he has to prepare for her arrival, something simple but intimate, for a meeting between close friends.
At the sound of the car horn she sighs. She looks down at the simple green sundress she has on with the light, white knit sweater she pulled on over it. She steals herself for whatever is to come, resolved to get this one precious memory. She doesn't expect this to last, this is about letting go. To play a losing game to its finish. This is the beginning, and she knows that she will find herself at the end sooner or later.
She gathers her bag, locks the door behind her and then walks downstairs to meet the car awaiting her. She gives a slight nod to the driver as he opens the door for her, and she feels the heat rise to her cheeks. She slips into the limo, not particularly surprised that he's not in the car waiting for her. While in the car, wondering where she's going, she decides to take off her sweater. The weather is nice, and while the cut of the dress is a little more revealing than she's used to wearing, it's a step in the right direction in playing his game.
The drive passes by in a blur, and soon the car rolls to a stop, the driver opens her door, and with a moment's hesitation she steps free from the car. Her eyes widen at the sight of the house before her. She swallows thickly. She's only been to his home a few times before. Her eyes widen when he steps out of the door dressed so casually in a pair of designer jeans and a light blue button up shirt, his feet bare. He gives her a smile and then gives a nod back toward the doorway.
"Come Yuki-chan, lunch awaits, and we can catch up like old friends," he says, and her heart beat speeds up a little at the warmth in his tone and dark eyes.
As she steps past him to enter his home, he can't help but notice and appreciate how she's dressed. She's wearing a simple pale green sundress, the cut a little risqué from what she normally wears, but the skirt flutters about her knees, whimsical like Yuki herself. He watches as she slips out of her flats by the door, her feet bare before she slips them into the slippers awaiting guests. He smiles at her politeness, and he can't resist as he places his left hand at the small of her back and takes her right hand in his and leads her through his home and straight to the small dining room. His house is somewhat smaller than the main house, and not too far from the tea house, and he's managed to make it a warm and secluded setting, though in all honesty Yuki is the first woman he's ever entertained in his own home.
He's managed to make sandwiches, his first attempt at cooking better left unmentioned. He grins at the small smile that graces her face when her eyes light upon the table with the two place settings, a tossed salad, and the sandwiches.
He holds her chair for her and even pours a glass of water for her and then himself. Once he sits down they begin to eat and he grins sheepishly as Yuki looks up with a sparkle in her eyes and says, "Tuna salad?"
"Gomen. Cooking is not my forte. I'm better suited to making tea, Yuki-chan."
He grins as she laughs lightly as his expense and they finished the meal with a little conversation. As she wipes her mouth with her napkin he gets up. She gives him a questioning look and then he gestures for her to stay seated. A moment later he returns with a silver tray with tea already prepared and two plates with a slice of cake on each. He passes her a piece of the cake and one of the cups of tea. She raises her brows but accepts the tea and dessert.
She takes a bite of the cake, a taste of vanilla both in the icing and the cake itself, blending perfectly with the sliced strawberries on the top of the cake. She closes her eyes at the exquisite taste and makes a humming sound of pleasure.
He watches rapt as her tongue curls around the morsel and notes the look of ecstasy on her face. He likes the flushed look on her face when she comes back to herself and opens her eyes to meet his dark gaze.
"The oldest daughter of one of the maids at the main house works at a bakery, and she's very creative when she creates a cake. I'm pleased you like it," he says, his tone seductive without his meaning it to be.
Her next question surprises him. "Why now, Nishikado-san?"
"Yuki-chan?" he says in uncertainty.
She wipes her mouth again and sets the cloth napkin on the table next to the half-eaten piece of cake and looks him squarely in the eyes. "Before you called I made a promise to myself. I promised I would give myself one last chance, but only if you called. And so you've called me. Why now, why here? Why after so many years of running do you seek me out now? Then again your answers don't matter," she says and raises the tea cup to her lips drinking the bitter tea straight without flinching, and Soujiro has to admit that he's quite impressed with the feat, and more than a little curious as he detects that same sadness from earlier edging her tone.
"Why don't the answers matter?" he can't help asking.
She lets out a little, self-deprecating laugh and then shakes her head. "Because I'm ready for your game. I'll become one of your girls, and you can make a proper woman out of me. However long you'll grant me I will cherish as precious memories. Allow me this Nishikado-san. After so many years of chasing you I've grown tired, but I want memories for my efforts. This is all I will ever ask of you. I do not expect fidelity, it's not in your nature. I just want to have a romantic dream, just for a little while. I promise when you're done with me I will not protest. I'll leave you in peace as you wish."
Soujiro is stunned by Yuki's proposal, as he'd never expected such a thing from the innocent and vibrant Matsuoka Yuki.
She can't help noticing the surprised look on his face. She smiles a little ruefully.
"Are you really so surprised?" she asks, and in a bold move she adds, "Soujiro, your answer?"
She watches as he gives his head a shake to clear it and then his dark eyes meet hers and she feels as though she's falling. She takes in a deep breath, bracing herself for the impact, steeling her resolve. There will be no regrets from this.
She can't cast her eyes down as a gentle smile curves his mouth, and she's grateful that his kindness towards her extends to this point. She is surprised when his fingers reach out and he tilts her chin up a bit. She's breathless as he leans forward, his lips brushing hers chastely. Her eyes slip shut as he leans in further, deepening the kiss and asking for further permission as his tongue slips across her mouth. She opens for him and she hears a strange sound coming from him as he tastes her, and tentatively she returns the kiss, her heart pounding.
Pulling back from the kiss he takes a moment to catch his breath and looks down at her, so beautiful and innocent. He tilts his head a little, watching as her eyes slowly slip open, and he gently pushes her hair back from her face. This kiss has warmed him in a way he hasn't felt before, and never would he have thought a kiss could have such an effect on him. She's unlike any girl he's ever known, and there is something about her that intrigues him more than he cares to admit, and this new resignation in her is perplexing. Looking at her, he has an answer for her. He will accept her proposal, although he doesn't know if he'll ever be able to let her go… And that is the art of losing, the beauty in the chase ending, and here he is learning the rules of a new kind of game, a game where he will master the art of losing… Losing his heart.
End.