Disclaimer: This is complete and total FICTION. That means it never happened and is completely untrue. In fact, this is so far from the truth that it isn't even in the same country as the truth. I don't own anybody: Big Time Rush, the characters, and all referenced scenes belong to Nickelodeon, and I make no money off of this. I am not in any way implying said characters' sexual identities.

Kendall looked over at Carlos, who was sleeping peacefully. You'd never know just by looking at Carlos' face the issues the boy was facing, but one look at his upper inner arms or soles of his feet told a different story.

It had been an accident that Kendall found out; he'd come back up to 2J to grab his cell phone when he heard Carlos hiss and then whimper in pain in the bathroom. Knowing that the door would be unlocked (Carlos had a habit of locking doors, so all the doors were taped so they wouldn't lock), Kendall barged in and found Carlos there, blade in hand, and fresh cuts on his arms that were oozing blood. Kendall shot off a quick text to Logan and James saying he was going to be awhile before coming back down to the pool.

"Don't…don't tell anyone." Carlos begged. Kendall grabbed the first aid kit and started tending to Carlos' cuts.

"Why Carlos?" Kendall asked, being non-judgmental.

"It…it makes me feel." Carlos started to tell Kendall how it relieved the stress of the tour and being away from home. "It's just an escape."

"Well, it's not a good one." Kendall said, "but I know where you're coming from." Carlos' eyes widened. "If you ever tell my mom, Katie, or the guys about this I'll kill you." Kendall lifted up his shirt to reveal his stomach, where there were scars visible. "I did it when my dad left us. It'll get better Carlos, trust me. Until then, just, be safe, ok? I don't like it, but I can't tell you what to do. You'll have to hide it from my mom."

"How? My long-sleeved shirt is in the wash, and it's too warm for a jacket."

"You can borrow one of mine. Come on, the guys are waiting." Kendall threw Carlos a shirt.

"Ok." Carlos put on the long-sleeved plaid shirt and endured the teasing from James and Logan.

"Oh, Kendall's converted you too?" James asked.

"Hey! Plaid is cool." Kendall said.

"Yeah, if you're Scottish." Logan smarted back. The boys hung out until it was time to go up to 2J for dinner. They ate, and were sitting around.

"Hey, Kendall, do you want to come up to the roof and look at stars with me?" Carlos asked.

"Sure." They sat there; Kendall was the first to speak. "You look good in my shirt."

"You think so?"

"Yeah." And just like that, the dam broke. Kendall leaned over and kissed Carlos. "You…you can't hurt yourself anymore, ok? What would I do without you?"

"I like you too." Carlos admitted. They spent most of the night up on the roof, hands together, staring at the stars. When they went back to 2J, Mama Knight was waiting up for them. "Boys, it's 2 AM. Where have you been? And, oh, are you holding hands? Omygosh!" she almost squealed; she kept it down, since everyone else was asleep. "I'm so happy for you guys. All is forgiven if you two were 'figuring out' things. It's about time."

"Mom!"

"What, I've known since you were 10 that you were gay."

"What…how…?"

"A mom knows everything. Goodnight boys."

"Night." Carlos and Kendall headed to their room. "Stay with me?" Carlos pointed to his bed.

"Sure." Kendall climbed in. Oh yeah, he could get used to this.