Don't own Chuck
Previous Chuck stories and order: 1 Chuck vs Charles, 2 Chuck vs the Love Boat, 3 Chuck vs The Rock, 4 Chuck vs Amtrak, 5 Chuck vs The Dictator, 6 Chuck vs The Name, 7 Chuck vs The Volcano, 8 Chuck vs The Ghost, 9 Chuck vs The Shooter, 10 Chuck vs The Package, 11 Chuck vs The Jade Dragon, 12 Chuck vs Jai-Alai, 13 Chuck vs The Greek, 14 Chuck vs The Suitcase, 15 Chuck vs The Pirate, 16 Chuck vs The Toy Maker, 17 Chuck vs The Sibyl, 18 Chuck vs The House, 19 Chuck vs The Heist, 20 Chuck vs The A-Bomb, 21 Chuck vs The Snowman
Big Mike was walking around the store making sure the slackers were working in between his time for meditation and pastries. With Morgan out at the Buy More sales conference he had complete run of the kingdom but it sure seemed Morgan was going to a lot more of these conferences than he ever had, but that was okay the Buy More was still in family hands. Looking at the clock it was break time and that mean a Subway, turkey and black forest ham with southwest chipotle sauceserved up on a six inch hearty Italian roll, Muy Caliente.
"Come to papa," said Big Mike as he prepared himself both mentally and physically for this spiritual experience as he opened his mouth to take a bite.
"Big Mike since you're acting manager," yelled Skip before he could bite down, "I need some invoices that need to be signed to receive merchandise Morgan ordered. The driver's here and can't leave until everything is signed for."
"Give me that fool paperwork," said Big Mike, "don't you know it's not safe to come between a man and his sandwich." He scribbled his name and threw the clipboard back at him. "Now if you'll excuse me."
"Sure go ahead," said Skip, "don't let me hold you up."
"Who's talking to you fool I was talking to my date here all six inches of sweetness. Oh what fools these mortals be and in some cases big tall skinny fools. Now get before I break off that pencil head of yours, a man's entitled to his break time."
Skip laughed under his breath then took off leaving Mike alone once more with his sub. He slowly undressed it by removing the wrapper then gave it a coy smile.
"Why you naughty thing, I see what you want but you know you shouldn't go all the way on the first date. What you want me to treat you like I did your sister Miss sourdough" said Big Mike. He raised it up and smelt the roses or the better the chipotle sauce then as he was about to bite down Fernando came walking in.
"Big Mike I know we're shorthanded but I need to tell you I won't be able to come in tomorrow because I'm going to be sick."
"Can't you see I'm on break? That's what people do when they come into the break room? I know you clowns are slow on the uptake but the name ought to be a dead giveaway. And hell yes we're shorthanded. Morgan's at that Buy More conference, Chuck's at that home install out of state. I don't know why Buy More corporate keeps tasking us like there aren't any other Buy Mores in the world. Why am I telling you this fool," said Big Mike as Fernando stood over the top of him drooling on his food. "You'd better back it up past the yellow line before one of us gets hurt and it won't be me."
"What yellow line? I don't see any?" said Fernando as he looked around the room then under the table.
"Start with the one at the front door fool. Casey's down too with a broken leg and you're going to be sick tomorrow. Call me stupid but I've got to ask how do you know you're going to be sick tomorrow?"
"Okay stupid, the guys asked me to go out with them for drinks so I'll be sick tomorrow and won't be able to come it."
"Excuse me when you say 'call me stupid' it doesn't mean you should call the person stupid," said Big Mike as Fernando gave him a look that told him there was no one at home in his head. He hadn't understood a word he was saying. "Ah forget it that light bulbs been burnt out since birth but why if you're going out with the guys you know you're going to be sick tomorrow?"
"Because I'm allergic to alcohol and they always give me something to drink so they can watch me throw up. They think it's funny. The last time, I puked in some guy's car in the parking lot."
"That was after the Christmas party when I told you fools not to drink? But I guess you did away? I bet there were lots of laughs over that?"
"Yeah, did you see me? The guys said it was really funny but they told me not to tell you? You wouldn't be cool about it. I don't know why you wouldn't everyone likes a good laugh."
"Laugh with not laugh at but you're too dumb to know your prepositions. I don't know what to call you, what's dumber than a fool… idiot that was my car you threw up in and it still smells like vomit. So the answer is you'd better have your butt in here tomorrow and don't worry about missing your night out because I'm docking you and your buddies for new upholstery, so none of you fools can afford to go out. You can call all you friends in here and break the news I'm going to my office to eat in peace. A guy can't catch a break or have one for that matter around here."
On that Big Mike got up with his Subway in hand then went straight to Morgan's slash his old office to try and eat in peace.
"Here we go my dear now we can be alone," said Big Mike as he took a big bite out of his sandwich. The tastes amalgamated in his mouth. He chewed slowly trying to make that bite of heaven last. Six inches of paradise he risked sounding like an adult rate flick if he used the word ecstasy but that was what it was, pure and adulterated. As he finished he licked his fingers then tossed the wrappings before leaning back in Morgan's slash his old chair.
"Now would be the time I'd recharge the old battery and do an eyelid test. Making sure I couldn't see anything when they're closed," said Big Mike to himself as he went and looked out at the store through the blinds, "But now I've got responsibility and a store full of fools and idiots. Yes it's a jungle out there what do you do when you've got a store full of wounded gazelles." He watched Skip grab Fernando's underwear then slip on the floor and fall as they both laughed at each other.
"I take it back the store's full of turkeys, big dumb turkeys the kind that look forward to Thanksgiving. Lord help us all," said Big Mike as he went to the door yelled. "If you two are tired of getting a paycheck keep that crap up I'll help you out."
"Big Mike I need your signature here," said a green shirt that approached him with a clipboard and a small box.
"What's this," asked Big Mike as he signed the invoice then looked at the box. "It's addressed to the store manager and that's me until further notice."
"I don't know a guy just dropped it off at the front then left. I don't even know who to give this invoice to since he's gone."
"Just keep it up front in case the guy comes back. When the fool deliveryman gets to his final stop he'll remember when his invoices don't add up." Big Mike took the box back into Morgan's office then looked out the window seeing the coast was clear he opened it up.
"Crap! Another set of those fool glasses. I guess Morgan is the one that ordered them not Chuck or the Blues Brothers ordered a matching set which is probably what happened," said Big Mike as he looked them over. "Actually they don't look so bad." He got up looked outside and things looked calm the natives weren't restless so he ducked back inside.
"Well can't hurt to try them on cool shades for a cool dude," said Big Mike as he put them on looking at his reflection in the glass. But as he put them on, lights lite up on the side and he felt strangely strong powerful. Then something came over him, he felt like he was inside a dark box with no way out and a voice inside him kept saying the same thing over and over again.
"Kill Chuck Bartowski. Chuck Bartowski must die," Big Mike started to repeat it out loud when Fernando walked inside to try and talk to him.
"Big Mike come on can't you see through to forgetting about that one little incident. Listen if it makes you feel better I'll let you throw up in my mother's car."
"Kill Chuck Bartowski. Chuck Bartowski must die," said Big Mike.
Fernando turned around and walked out going straight over to Skip who was waiting with some of the other guys to hear what happened.
"Well how did it go? Did he listen to you?"
"I don't know he's really mad at Chuck. Someone should give him a heads up before he gets here. Big Mike just told me kill Chuck Bartowski. Chuck Bartowski must die. You don't think he threw up in his car too?"
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Their Learjet touched down at Bob Hope International then taxied over to their hangar where they offloaded. A vehicle was there waiting for them when them arrived and after getting their gear on board they took off down the I5 and homeward bound finally.
"Mike can you drop me off at the Buy More then take the rest home to Echo Park. I need to get this device under lock and key then I'll drive a herder home. There's no reason for the rest of you to wait for me."
"Are you sure Agent Carmichael," said Mike as he caught Chuck's look, "I mean Chuck I can wait if you're going to be quick?"
"My wife wants to get home to our baby and I don't want her to have to wait any more than is necessary but thanks."
"Thank you for understanding," said Sarah as she kissed him. "I love you," she whispered in his ear as she bit it. "Don't be long."
"Chuck I think I'll go with you to the Buy More. I need to check on the old gal and see how things are going since we left. You know when the Captain's not at the helm the mice will play."
"Morgan that doesn't even make sense you've been hanging around your father in law too much. Aren't you afraid you'll run into him?"
"No he won't be around because tonight is dance lesson night and I know he wouldn't miss that for the world."
"Really what's the lesson tonight?" asked Alex, "Maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing for you and I to take a few lessons; they certainly seem to like it."
"Yeah Morgan what are they doing tonight," asked Chuck but he already knew.
"Tonight is the Lambada," said Morgan is a low voice barely audible no wanting to be heard which is exactly what happened.
"I'm sorry can you repeat we didn't hear you," said Chuck. Sarah elbowed him because she knew he had he was just making fun of Morgan.
"I said the Lambada, alright so there. Yes come on and say it the forbidden dance. Jesus Big Mike and my mother, what did I do? I must've been really bad in another life."
"Okay Morgan if you're coming with me you need to be fast because I'm not waiting around. I want to get home too I don't want to keep Sam waiting. Mike when we get to the Buy More park next to the herders and we'll put out stuff in one then Morgan and I will off load when we get home."
"No Chuck," said Mike, "baggage handling is part of the package deal. I'll drop you guys off then I'll take the bags and the ladies to Echo Park."
"Alex this way you also have a chance to talk with Casey about how I took out that guy on the plane with my bare hands."
"Morgan," said Chuck, "I thought you said you had a spanner wrench and I remember reading it in Alex's report when she asked me to look it over."
"I didn't have gloves on so technically speaking they weren't covered so they we bare hands just one of them happened to have a wrench in it. But that's not what's important, what's important is that I took the guy out."
"Agent Grimes does have a point," said Mike, "in these situations pretty doesn't matter, what matters is you get the job done and you get out alive. Well we're here." Outside they saw the big green and yellow sign 'Buy More'.
"We're home," said Morgan as they got out then waved back to the others as they drove off. In that moment Chuck's phone rang so he pulled it out of his pocket.
"It's Ellie I really need to take this," said Chuck as he stopped and answered. "Hey El, what's going on? … Beckman dropped off what? Listen I'm in the Buy More parking lot let me cut through Orange, Orange and I'll call you right back from Castle on a secure line."
"I take it was Ellie, what's going on?" said Morgan as he stood there hands on hips admiring the store from the outside.
"Morgan, Beckman gave Ellie those pair of intersect glasses to look at and she needs my help. I'm going to cut through Orange, Orange I'll take less time and not as likely to run into anyone who'll stop me."
"I'll follow you then I can help. I don't know how but I can help so lead away."
"Okay but we just have to be quick I still want to get home as quickly as possible. I should've guessed Beckman would go to Ellie. After me I guess she's the most qualified to look at them but I don't like this. Morgan we've got to keep our guards up."
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Mike dropped Sarah and Alex at Echo Park. He took their bags into the courtyard but Sarah refused to have him lug hers or Chuck's things around, it just wasn't right. So after he got them there he left to head back to the downtown substation. Alex and Sarah walked into the house and were immediately assaulted with hugs and kisses. Kathleen through her arms around Alex and Sam jumped on Sarah demanding to be held.
"John how are you doing?" asked Sarah seeing him sitting on their sofa with his leg in a cast propped up on the coffee table.
"Better that you guys are back, maybe I can get back and get some real work done now without having to babysit."
"Oh don't pay any attention to him," said Kathleen. "He liked every minute of it. He's just grumpy by nature."
"Key see boo-boo," said Sam as she pointed down at John wanting to tell Sarah that Casey was hurt and that she should take notice.
"Yes Casey has a boo-boo," said Sarah as hugged and kissed Sam. She got watery eyed. "Mommy missed you a lot."
"Yuck," said Sam then she wanted down and ran to the door. "Yuck," she repeated as she pointed at the door asking Sarah where Chuck was.
"Chuck, daddy will be home soon," she said as she grabbed her up again. Sam let out a little scream then giggled. Then once she had Sam in hand she walked to the kitchen where Alex and Kathleen were.
"What's that delicious smell," asked Sarah. The perfume permeated the apartment and reminded her just how hungry she was as well as how long it had been since they had last eaten.
"That's Kat's famous meatloaf," yelled Casey as he hobbled in for a cup of coffee. Looking at Kat they both laughed.
"What is it with you two," asked Alex seeing strange looks between the two of them. "I can't help but think there's some sort of inside joke were missing here."
"Well when we first got together this was the dish I always cooked for your father," Kathleen said as she started laughing.
"Yeah every time I went over she'd fix the same dish. I loved it and I really did. I told her so too. Let's face if after you've been eating C-Rats just about anything tastes good but her meatloaf was on a different plane all together."
"So what happened" asked Alex this was the first time she was hearing stories on how her parents courted. It somehow made her feel like they were a family.
"I guess you'd been coming over for almost a year eating only meatloaf when I finally admitted that it was the only thing I knew how to cook."
"But it was still good. I thought she was cooking it for me because I liked it," said Casey as they all laughed suddenly Casey's phone alarm went off. "Chuck's activated the intruder alert at the Buy More."
"Let me call him and find out what's going on," said Sarah as Casey brought up the Buy More security cams in the living room.
"I don't see anyone that's not supposed to be there," said Casey as he flipped through the feed. "They've evacuated the store but I don't see why."
"Chuck's not picking up," said Sarah as her calls were all going to voice mail. "Can you find him on the monitor?"
"He's in the elevator going up and he's armed with his tranq gun but I don't know… Wait… There look at Big Mike what's he got on?"
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Chuck and Morgan did the magic act through Orange Orange. Vanishing after they walked through going straight into the back then disappeared in the freezer. Once inside they double timed it down into Castle. Their shoes clanking on the metal deck plates all the way down to the conference room. Chuck opened the safe then put Manoosh's video player inside then locked it. Afterwards he sat in front of a computer and brought Ellie up.
"Hey El, first let me tell you I'm sorry if the General brought you into our problem that wasn't my call. So the General dropped off the intersect glasses I haven't seen them so I don't know what I can do for you?"
"Well I've looked at them but they got broken in half, I don't know if you knew that or not? But I really need to see if you can help me put them back together and come up with a safe way to download their information without having to have someone put them on."
"That could be kind of hard over the phone and I don't know if I'd try it. Can you hold them up to your camera so I can look at them?"
"How's my favorite niece," ask Morgan as he stuck his head in front of the monitor only to have Chuck shove him out of the way.
"Please Morgan we're trying to work here and I wouldn't repeat that around Sam. She might take offense," said Chuck.
"Oh it's just something people say like how's the weather or have a nice day and how's my favorite niece."
"You dug yourself in a hole and now you can't get out just admit. Morgan your problem is your mouth sometimes move faster than your brain."
"Now you're sounding like Casey, Chuck, but you're still my BFF. I'll butt out now and let you get back to work."
"Anyway Clara's fine and Chuck she keeps asking when you guys are going to come to visit. She wants to see her cousin before she starts university."
"Funny El, that sounds more like her mother speaking than her. Hold it, wait turn that piece back. Hold it right there. Where would that sensor attach to on the brain? Do you have any idea?"
"I'm working up a 3-D rendering and the different points the sensors would interact with but you're right I saw that one too. It doesn't really connect with anything. At first I thought it was to capture some sort of brainwaves transmitted probably by another pair of glasses taking possession of the host.
"You mean the Ghost net," said Morgan as Ellie looked at him from the monitor like he was crazy. "What? I read hear about it from a reputable source… the National Enquirer, and the internet."
"Morgan that's just-" Ellie started to speak but Morgan cut her off before she could finish.
"No, need to thank for me I know what you're thinking but really it was nothing. I know you guys would've come up with it sooner or later but that's why you've got me around to come up with out of the box solutions.
"Morgan I was going to say that was just plain stupid. Where did you come up with that idea anyway? Did you read it next to the article about the President being an alien from outer space or Bin Laden being still alive flipping burgers at Chilis and singing Karaoke on Friday nights?"
"Morgan it's a programming port where they can connect it probably to some sort of intersect computer to be programmed to perform a function like martial arts or killer elite. But how much of the host still would be active when the glasses took over?"
"I don't know that's why I need the software off these pair. I need to see what they do but I can only do that if we put them back together."
"Chuck, we've got a problem," said Morgan as he tapped on Chuck's shoulder.
"Yes Morgan we know we've got a problem I'm thinking how to solve it. Can you please leave me alone I thought you said you were going to butt out now and let us get back to work?"
"Let me see if I've understood the problem. Those glasses are broken," said Morgan, "But if you had a whole pair that would solve your problem wouldn't it?"
"Yeah it would but where are you going to get another pair? We can't just call Manoosh up and asked for another pair."
"Or he could just send us another pair," said Morgan as he pointed at the monitor playing video feed from the Buy More. They watched Big Mike perform a perfect Tiger Crane form with Manoosh's glasses on.
"Ellie I think we've got a solution for your broken glasses. I need for you to just answer a few questions for me but hold on a second. Morgan, pineapple."
"Pineapple Chuck."
"Pineapple."