Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling. This was written entirely for fun without making any profit. No copyright infringement is intended.
Pairing/characters: Ron/Teddy, Spoiler Pairings *Ron/Scorpius, James Sirius/Teddy, Teddy/OMC, reference to James Sirius/OMC
A Night Of Sin
"...Please oh wise one, tell me what the bloody hell I was supposed to do?"
Ron couldn't have stopped the sarcasm dripping from his tongue even if he wanted to, so he didn't even try. Instead he slammed back his most recent shot. Not waiting for the burn of tequila to hit anything further back than the top of his throat, he waved the empty shot glass at the bartender for another round before slamming it hard into the wooden counter.
"I don't know. Anything would have been better than bolting, like he said you did."
The calm, placating voice of his best friend wasn't helping the myriad of emotions swirling within him, from the anger of simply being deceived in such an underhanded method by someone he thought completely incapable of such deception, to the immense amount of guilt for proving himself as gullible as people had always pegged him to be. Instead of feeling like a man on the wrong side of fifty, he felt like his sixteen year old self - the one that had Lavender draped over him while he watched Hermione. It was something he had never wanted to feel again. Yet, there he was being a fool all over again and it didn't sit well with him as the bartender topped off his shot glass.
"I didn't bolt," Ron grumbled, looking into the full shot glass, not entirely sure if he really wanted to drink it -at least that was what his stomach was starting to tell him. "Given the fact that I thought I had gone to bed with a female only to find myself with not just any young male, but one I consider to be my nephew, I think the fact that all I did was stand up, get dressed and walk out of the room without a single nasty or mean word was a fucking miracle in itself. So tell me, what would you have done if you found Teddy in your bed after going there with someone that looked more like Gabrielle?"
When Harry didn't answer, Ron downed his shot anyway and growled, "Well?"
"Probably done the same thing."
Ron smirked as he watched his friend stare at his empty glass instead of meeting his eyes. Getting to his feet, Ron added, "I know I have this reputation of being a grade one arsehole these days and being more than just a little thick, but I'm not the only one at fault in this fiasco."
"Does it matter that he's a male?"
"NO...No." Ron found himself repeating his initial declaration when he realised how sharp his first 'no' had sounded, because that certainly wasn't the reason for him being upset about the whole situation. "That doesn't bother me at all."
He hated that Harry clearly didn't look convinced. When Harry vocalised, "Are you sure?", Ron was certain that Harry wasn't. Suddenly, every decision he had made about his one relationship since the divorce didn't sit well with him; decisions he had made because he knew no one would approve of his choice his choice in partners for multiple reasons, from his partner's last name to the significant age difference between them. In the end, he asked mentally, where had that gotten him - a few more grey hairs and a waste of several years because his partner had unexpectedly decided to skip off to Paris for the autumn and made no promise to come back to him, if he even came back to London at all. Hell, all Ron had received, two weeks previously, was a bloody owl telling him he was on his own.
With a heavy sigh, Ron's head drooped. "No. It really doesn't matter that he's male. It matters that it's Teddy."
"What's wrong with that? He's turned into a good man and he's mad about you -which most of the children have known for years. And obviously crazy enough to pull a stunt like last night. "
"He's like my bloody nephew."
"But he's not."
"Doesn't matter," Ron said, throwing enough cash on the bar to cover some of the tab he was allowed to keep at his local pub. "You consider me a brother, don't you?"
"Yeah."
"And you wouldn't want to kiss me -let alone do something sexual- would you?"
Ron couldn't hold back his laugh when he saw Harry's face scrunch up with disgust at the prospect. "See. That's my point exactly. Just like you're family to me, Teddy is too. I'm heading home."
He hadn't made it ten feet when Harry's voice stopped him in his tracks. "And you are positive it's not because he's a male?"
"Yes." Exasperated sighs issued before and after that simple word were all Ron was capable of as he turned back to look at his friend. He half expected Harry to elaborate or continue, but when he didn't Ron repeated his assertion with a shake of his head, though Harry wasn't looking in his direction, before turning back around.
"Do you think you could change your mind? Or at least entertain the possibility? Maybe humour the boy a bit?"
Spinning on his heel, Ron stalked back to Harry and growled as he cuffed him over the back of his head. "What part of he's like my nephew isn't getting through that thick skull of yours?"
"Like I said earlier - he's not though." Harry's voice was soft while each word came out in a deliberate manner. "Maybe giving Teddy a shot is what you need to start going out again. It's been years since you and Hermione divorced. And while you haven't gone on a single date or even mentioned being interested in anyone, Hermione went and got remarried, had two more kids and got divorced all over again. It's been hard on us all to watch you not move on, to stay by yourself, alone in that flat of yours night after night, weekend after weekend. You haven't even let us try to set you up, or introduce you to people. Your life seemed to come to an abrupt standstill the moment Hermione asked for a divorce. It's been ten years, Ron. Ten years...
"So maybe you could give Teddy a shot, maybe a dinner or something? I mean you did take him home with you last night; maybe there's something there that you are refusing to see because all you see is him?
"Don't look at me like that. All I'm asking is for you to give him a chance. He's young and foolish, we were like that once; especially when it came to relationships. Don't let his one very bad decision prevent something that might be good for the both of you."
Ron's jaw slackened at Harry's pronouncement. It flapped for several more minutes before he could actually find his voice, but he didn't know what to say immediately. For, at the same time, his rare night out to escape every memory that his flat held of his lover, where a beautiful blonde approached him, made him feel like someone, hell anyone again - had been too much for his battered pride, soul, heart to turn down. The memories only served to increase his anger and frustration at Teddy, and further to that, his best friend. When he finally spoke, it was impossible for him to hide exactly what he felt:
"Anyway, if I had known it was Teddy, then I wouldn't have taken him home: he approached me disguised as a blonde female and he told me his name was Sophie. It doesn't matter that last night, in a moment of weakness, I capitalised a person who made me feel worth it to someone. What matters in the end is that he lied to me Harry, led me to believe he was someone else; bloody hell, he acted like someone else, like someone who didn't know me, someone who hadn't known me since he was wee."
"Did you ever think he did that to get you to notice him as someone more than a surrogate family member?" Harry asked softly, finally looking at Ron. "I honestly don't think he meant to hurt you, I think he just did what he did out of desperation."
"And when was the last time that I took even the smallest measure of dishonesty with a grain of salt?" Ron coolly replied. Seeing the truth written on Harry's face, Ron added, "I'll see you on Monday."
Walking out of the bar hoping that the cool, late autumn evening would give his soul some respite. Merlin knew he needed it before he headed home to his lonely, empty flat.
"Wait."
"No." Teddy's tear stained face disappeared under the pillow he had been clutching to his chest like a lifeline. "I'm done talking. All I've done is talk. Talked to James, Al, Nana, Nana Weasley, Lily, Rose. And guess what? It hasn't changed anything. Ron's still mad at me and I doubt he's going to forgive me any time soon, if ever and...and...and...AAAAAHHHHHHHHH."
Rolling his eyes and trying to figure out just when his godson had returned to his five-year-old self, Harry pulled the pillow away, tossing it aside. "Well I'm not. And I'm not going to be until you tell me the reason behind you doing what you did, if you like Ron."
When Teddy didn't say anything, Harry found his foot tapping in frustration. A flash of movement caused Harry to look up. He had thought James was out for the evening -at least that was what Teddy had told him on his arrival; however, he thought he had seen his oldest slip back into the shadows of the hallway of the flat the two boys shared.
Turning his attention back to his godson, who was still pouting like a toddler, Harry sighed before saying, "You know what? I didn't just spend the last thirty minutes of my life trying to talk to Ron for you to behave like this. I'm willing to help you, Teddy, but you need to tell me what the hell possessed you to do what you did last night!"
He watched as Teddy, who was still clearly devastated by Ron spurning him, finally turned his head to meet Harry's eyes warily. Patiently he waited for Teddy to explain exactly why he did what he did. Harry's foot continued to tap and his patience started to wane the more time that passed before he finally said, with his frustration thick in his voice, "Teddy I'm waiting. I can't help you try to fix this if you don't talk to me."
"I don't know," Teddy moaned, trying to bury his face in the back of the sofa as Harry tried to prevent him from doing just that, especially since the boy finally had said something that Harry could work with.
It wasn't much, but he supposed it was a start.
"I had done the transformation as a favour to Lily, who wanted to make sure that Frank was being honest about where he was going on Thursdays, but I guess I shouldn't be telling you about that... Anyway, Frank was playing poker in the back like always and then I saw Ron... and he looked at me. I mean, really looked at me, and I've liked him forever and I thought that maybe this was the step I needed since I hadn't gotten anywhere with him before and oh... I dunno... It just seemed like a brilliant idea at the time. To get him to see me and I thought that I could hold onto the transformation long enough to make him like me. Then when I told him the truth, he would tell me it didn't matter because he felt the same way. Then I had to go and loose control and fuck the lot up."
Harry's heart broke as he watched fresh tears start to pour out of his godson's eyes. In between heaving breaths, words kept pouring out of Teddy's mouth.
"He...he's just such a good person. It's hard not to feel something for him; it's hard just not to love him, to want to be with him, to know what it's like to bask in his warmth and his love...
"He was so great to me when everything went tits up with Victoire: letting me stay at his flat, making sure I got on my feet again, and that it was okay that I was gay, that none of the family would look at me any differently... That I would still be a part of the family.
"There are days that all I can think of is how he looked at Hermione when they were still married, like she hung the moon and the stars, that she was his heaven... and I wanted that. I wanted him to look at me the same way he looked at her.
"Harry, I just want to belong to him, for him to call me his; to know what it feels like to be loved by him."
Teddy let out a sizable wail again which allowed Harry to pull him up and wrap his arms around him. Whilst he whispered words meant to comfort his godson and tried to figure out just how he was going to fix the problem, if he ever could, given Ron's stubbornness and Teddy's infatuation, he saw James had re-entered the room. Harry tried to meet his eyes, but his son's gaze was stoically glued to the floor and the shaggy brown hair that Ginny was forever trying to get a pair of scissors to blocked most of his face from Harry's view.
When he saw James wipe at his eyes before disappearing into the kitchen, Harry found his heart hurting in a whole new manner. He just wondered how could he have been so blind.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Harry gently asked, pushing open the cracked door to his son's bedroom.
"Not particularly."
There wasn't much light in the room to begin with, with the late hour and the single candle burning on the dresser, but James still managed to stay hidden from Harry's vantage point at the door frame, giving his sad reply an ethereal quality. Harry had learned his lesson a long time ago when it came to his oldest that the boy was more like Sirius' than he had realised; that though the his son was loud, passionate, and boisterous, he was also fairly introverted when he was troubled or something was bothering him. James often wouldn't talk until he was ready to act up in a manner that never failed to make George proud. After a near expulsion from Hogwarts during James' fourth year, Harry had taken a different approach to James and would gently coax his son into talking, so that the inevitable explosion would not cause nearly as much damage.
After stepping into the darkened room, Harry closed the door behind him and took a seat on the floor blocking the exit. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah. Talking isn't going to change anything."
"Might make you feel better," Harry gently prodded, wishing that he could actually see his son so he could gauge just how far to push and just when to leave him alone. He had never been really good with just listening when it came to making important decisions.
"I doubt it. Nothing is going to make this feel better."
Harry was about to speak when unexpectedly James continued, so quietly that Harry barely heard him. "Mum doesn't know how lucky she is or was, however you look at it. She's loved one person her entire life."
"I wouldn't say that..." Harry responded softly, his voice trailing off thinking about Ginny with Michael and Dean all those years before when he didn't see her, he had seen Ron's little sister. "Your mum was Uncle Ron's sister for several years before I saw her."
"Yeah, but she had faith that you would. Only had to wait a few years, where as I've been waiting since I was thirteen.
"I think my faith has finally worn out. I can't do this anymore. It just hurts too much."
Harry had absolutely no idea what to say in response. Just like he hadn't realised what Teddy's actions had been telling him for years, Harry was realising he had never truly seen his son until now: in a darkened room with only a sad voice telling him cryptically what he should have known all along. He wondered when he had become such a bad father to James, given that he had always been able to see Albus' and Lily's affairs of the heart long before they either came to a fruition or crashed and burned.
Looking at his hands, he spoke the only words he thought he could while his heart was lodged in his throat. "I'm sorry, James."
"Nothing to be sorry about Dad.
"I'm the one who was stupid enough to feel the way I do; and foolish enough to continue even though I saw the writing on the wall; and even more the fool to move in here hoping he would finally look at me differently.
"I didn't want anything more than a chance and I can't even get that.
"I don't know if I can be his friend anymore Dad; knowing what I know, seeing what I've seen. I hope that I've never treated someone the way Teddy has treated me.
"So you see, nothing to be sorry about, I brought this on myself and I need to let him go."
"Yes there is. There's plenty to be sorry about: I hate that you feel the way that you do; that I can't protect you. I can't take the pain away like I want to at the moment. I hate that as your parent I have to watch you suffer as you clearly are...
"And most of all that I have been so blind to what was right in front of me."
"But you couldn't have done anything," James whispered. A flicker of movement out of the corner of his eyes caused Harry to look up to see James appear on the other side of his bed. He watched as his son moved towards him saying, "You couldn't have talked me out of how I felt or protected me from the collision course I set myself up for. This was something I had to figure out myself, by myself, eventually. I mean, it's all a part of growing up, isn't it? Learning the hard way?"
Harry remained quiet as James took a seat next to him and rested his head on Harry's shoulder, "I'm just wish my faith in Teddy had run out sooner."
Kissing his son on the side of his head, Harry spoke the only words he could. "One of these days, I know I'm going to get to meet the luckiest person in the world; the person who is not only loved by you but openly adores you in return. And when I do, you will see me the happiest man in the world, knowing that you've found someone who deserves to be loved by you."
"So what do you think I should do?"
James hung his head and rested his palms on the worktop in the kitchen. His dad had only left the flat moments before. After all the thinking he had been doing since Teddy came tearing into their flat at one that morning, blubbering about Ron this, and Ron that, James had been tempted to go home with his dad. He wasn't entirely sure he could emotionally deal with the man he had been foolishly in love with for years, but he hadn't wanted to run home with his tail between his legs either.
"Do you think I should go and talk to him?"
All James wanted to do was turn around and scream at Teddy, "No I don't bloody think you should go talk to him! I think you should grow up. I think you should move on, find someone who does love you and wants to be with you. I think you should open your bloody eyes and see what's been right in front of you for years!"
Instead, James just shook his head before carrying on with making a sandwich to eat as he spoke, his aggravation clear in his tone, "I don't know Teddy."
"Come on James. I need your help here. I need to fix this."
"Honestly, I don't think you can fix this." Years of being Teddy's friend ached James' broken heart. He stared at the two pieces of bread feeling disgusted with himself for being so selfless when it came to Teddy again.
"Come on James, there has to be a way. I was only trying to get him to notice me."
Those words angered James more than he could have imagined. He understood that Teddy was hurting, but how could the idiot be so blind to not see how James was feeling? Out of anger, mostly at himself, he started to slam the ingredients together to form his sandwich as he continued to a snarl. "You lied to the man. Uncle Ron may forgive a lot of things but dishonesty is the one thing he takes a pretty strong stance on. Look at Aunt Hermione, all it took was one minor indiscretion that led to a lie in which she got caught in and the next thing we knew, they were getting a divorce. So no, I don't think you can fix this Teddy."
"There has to be a way."
"No, there doesn't!"
"Please James-"
"No," James interrupted, rounding on Teddy with the messy sandwich in his hands. "I'm done. I'm not going to help you make an arse of yourself. From my vantage point, you do that fine all by yourself. So count out me out on this one."
"But you're my best friend ..."
Those two little words - "best friend" - were a hard kick to James' gut. All the times James had heard Teddy call him that seemed far in the past; this time it was different as James stared at the other boy who was still clearly talking but James didn't hear, let alone comprehend just what the man in front of him was saying. In that moment, any tangible faith he had held in Teddy finally seeing him vanished.
"...James..."
'Best friend' was all he was going to be to Teddy. He had foolishly waited years and where had it gotten him? Absolutely fucking nowhere.
"...James?..."
Of course, he'd partaken in a snog here and there, but they were few and far between and the number of actual dates he had been on was pathetically low -count-them-on-one-hand low. He had never felt more pathetic than he did at that moment, as all the ways in which he had wasted his youth on the man standing in front of him, who seemingly refused to see just how much James cared for him, became apparent.
"...James?..."
His anger towards Teddy and his own self-hatred overwhelmed him as he snarled, "You know what? Just go do what you want. I don't care about you fucking up your life anymore. You could have it all if you would just fucking open your eyes."
The concern in Teddy's expression started to soothe his anger as the man approached him carefully. "James..."
His broken heart wouldn't allow him to accept the comfort, however. Unable to say anything with the pieces of his heart clogging his throat, he pushed roughly past Teddy and stalked into his bedroom. With a quick kick to the door it slammed shut. James grabbed his wand and before Teddy could barge through, he sealed it with the strongest locking charms he could think of and then hit it with a silencing charm.
With his breath heaving out of his chest, James let the sandwich and his wand fall from his hands to the floor, before falling himself to his knees when his tears and shaking knees overpowered his ability to stand.
"You listen to me and you listen good Lupin! I'm only telling you this once."
The thunderous voice sent fear through every inch of Teddy's being as he stood at his front door looking at a very angry looking Scorpius Malfoy. Teddy's racing mind couldn't comprehend why the young man he knew more through reputation and The Daily Prophet than anything else was standing at his door far too close to midnight, let alone seeing the young man anything but completely unflappable.
The dim hallway light couldn't hide the changes in the young man standing before Teddy. The Malfoy that stood in front of him looked nothing like he had seen before, neither in pictures nor from a distance outside the immaculate robe he wore buttoned up: his long, white blond hair cascaded down around his shoulders instead of being secured back in a pony tail; his grey eyes were full of fire and passion instead of ice and disdain and his pale skin flushed red through his cheeks and neck.
"Malfoy! It's midnight!" James' voice came from behind where Teddy stood, and shocked Teddy enough to tear his eyes away from the furious Malfoy heir to look behind him. He had tried for over an hour to get James to open his bedroom door, but his best friend had stubbornly and silently refused. Teddy had no idea what he had said to get such a reaction out of James; he had been one of the few people over the years that had never had the misfortune to be on the receiving end of James' temper. He could see, however, the evidence of tears in James' eyes as well as the obvious signs of defeat in his stance.
"Oi! I bloody well know what time it is, Potter! Why don't you go and do something useful and keep your lover's bed warm while I remind him of his place and that his hands should firmly stay at home?"
Malfoy's implication that him and James were lovers shocked Teddy, who had never thought of his flat mate as anything more than his best friend. Teddy's head spun from looking at his now extremely white best friend to the increasingly red-faced Malfoy. "Now look here, Malfoy-"
"Here's the thing Lupin -you've already landed yourself a Potter, so keep your hands off of my Weasley, do you hear me? You flirt, touch or even look his way again, in any shape, form or sex, and I swear you will find your new residence to be in the Manor's dungeons. I hear the stone is very unforgiving in the winter -even for a wolf. Do you understand me?"
Flabbergasted, Teddy just stared at Malfoy, who was breathing hard in front of him. Any earlier thoughts about James being his lover disappeared to be replaced by one singular thought:
What did Malfoy mean by 'his Weasley'?
"Lupin, I'm waiting," Malfoy growled, stepping forward and grabbing the worn shirt Teddy had on. "Do. You. Understand. Me?"
Teddy couldn't speak for the shock still flowing through his system. He watched as Malfoy's eyes darted behind him and then softened, before looking back at him.
"You're a bloody fool Lupin. I almost feel sorry for you. Almost," Malfoy softly growled, pushing Teddy back and causing him to stumble several steps before he was able to catch his footing. Malfoy simply shook his head and muttered, "Silly, stupid, bloody fool," before spinning where he stood. His black robes billowed around him before he disappeared.
Teddy just stood staring at the empty mind tried to wrap around exactly what happened and why it had done so. It wasn't until he heard a door slam again that he remembered he hadn't been alone.
"Bloody hell! It's after midnight! Someone better have one hell of an excuse."
Ron called out looking at the clock by his bed, in response to the loud crack of Apparition that woke him from an alcohol-induced slumber. With a fuzzy head, he sat up and rubbed at his temples, waiting for whomever had Apparated directly into his flat to finish making their appearance known. Ron stopped rubbing away his bleariness when he realised he hadn't heard the creak of the iron spiral staircase that led to his sleeping area, which was only moments before he realised that only three people could enter his flat like with such ease: his two children who would have had the sense to give him space after the last twenty-four hours, and Scorpius, who he assumed was in Paris living it up with someone probably younger and most definitely better looking.
Scowling at the thought of his lover with someone else, Ron threw on the dressing gown that said lover had given him for his last birthday in an attempt to class him up as he grabbed his wand. A growing part of him was concerned that someone had figured out how to break into his wards and that he may be in danger, though the memory of Harry screaming at him earlier that day for being tossed back out when he had tried to access them earlier allayed most of his fears.
When he got to the spiral staircase that would take him downstairs to the living area of his flat, he noticed that despite the limited lighting, he could still make out Scorpius sitting on his sofa with his head bent. Ron cocked his head to the side out of confusion as he looked at Scorpius' messy appearance. The young man's robe was tossed haphazardly over one of the chairs; his long hair free was of the leather tie that normally held it back, and if Ron wasn't mistaken, he could see that Scorpius was clad in only his favourite dark green, silk pajama bottoms with slippers on his feet.
Carefully, he said, "I thought you were in Paris until winter," as he descended the staircase. His eyes remained on Scorpius the entire time due to obvious fact that something clearly wasn't right. The heart Ron had sworn Scorpius had taken with him when he had departed two weeks before started to thud louder and louder the closer he got to the young man who had stolen it years ago.
When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he expected Scorpius to say something as to why he had showed up unexpectedly at such a late hour. Scorpius, however, didn't even turn to look at him, instead Ron noticed that Scorpius' entire attention was focused on the Malfoy signet ring he held in his hands. It was the first time Ron could ever remember it coming off Scorpius' smallest finger on his right hand since the young man had been given it on his seventeenth birthday.
That day held so many memories for Ron that the pain of the memory caused his heart to jump into his throat while it continued to thud. Hermione had re-married that day. Ron could still remember being in a fog from the end of their relationship two years prior to that day. He had offered to work the store in Hogsmeade to keep his mind off Hermione moving on when he felt unable to, and with it being a Hogsmeade Saturday for Hogwarts, he had known it would keep him busy enough. He had been, rather successfully until Scorpius had sauntered into the shop that day. With Rose at her mum's wedding, it felt odd to see the young man without his daughter; there had been times he had sworn they were attached at the hip. Given that it was late in the day, most of the students had gone back to school so he made polite small talk with his daughter's best friend before making his excuses to slip into the back of the shop to start re-stocking the shelves. The moments that would come after he walked into the stock room became a blur of lips, tongues, hands, clumsy starts and stops until everything came back into focus with him horizontal on the floor and Scorpius' long white hair loose and spread around his head as he panted underneath Ron. It was the first time Ron thought he might survive without Hermione.
Ron didn't know how long he stood there just looking at Scorpius while the memories re-played in his head. He could tell that Scorpius was just as lost in his thoughts, for if the young man had said something while Ron day-dreamed, he would have sensed a set of cool, grey eyes staring at him. Entirely unsure what to do, given he hadn't expected Scorpius at all, Ron gently spoke, "I'll put on some coffee," as he gestured to the free-standing kitchen near by.
Knowing Scorpius as long and as well as he did, he knew the young man would speak when he was ready and not a minute before. It had actually been one of Scorpius' quirks that had taken Ron the longest to get used to; that the young man would sometimes sit for hours -even in a room full of people- silent, until he was actually ready to speak. There were times that Ron seriously wondered if that was what made Scorpius not only so observant but so good at being the Malfoy heir apparent. Ron had to admit that Scorpius' father had gone out of his way to redeem the Malfoy legacy but even after years, he hadn't been able to do half the job that Scorpius had in the short time span that had passed since the young man had left Hogwarts.
With a glance to the young man who had more power to break him than even Hermione had, Ron just took his time making the coffee and searching for the hangover potion he knew had to be somewhere. The longer he couldn't find it, the more he worried that he had managed to use the last of it during the drinking binge he put his body through after Scorpius left him for Paris and seemingly put an end to their relationship.
Giving up, Ron started to turn to Scorpius to see if the young man had taken the last vial and not replaced it when Scorpius soft voice broke through the silent flat with, "Here." Ron jumped back a bit when he realised that Scorpius had at some point come to stand near him. Scorpius' outstretched hand, which still missed its normal ring, contained the much-needed vial.
Ron whispered his gratitude as he took the potion. Emptying the foul-tasting liquid into his mouth like a shot, he tossed the empty vial into the recycling bin. He hung his head as he tried to decide out what to say to Scorpius; the proximately of the young man's body was entirely too distracting as the potion started to break through Ron's alcohol-induced fog.
"Do you love me?"
Scorpius spoke those words so softly that Ron wasn't entirely sure he heard him correctly. Looking at the young man carefully, he took the opening he thought he saw and whispered cryptically, "I think you know that answer."
"Why?" Scorpius responded still as quietly as before as he took a step closer to Ron.
"Beats the crap out of me most days," Ron replied truthfully with a forced chuckle; reaching to grab two mugs to pour some coffee, assuming it was going to be a long night for both of them. Especially him, regardless of the ending. "All the secrets and lies. It all got old about five years ago for me but yet, I keep finding myself still willing to play your games by your rules."
"What if I told you I came back to London tonight for a reason?"
He knew it. Ron had been expecting the end of his clandestine relationship with the Malfoy heir since his lover's declaration of spending autumn in Paris two weeks before, and that Ron should just get over it. It would be a cruel reminder of just how young Scorpius was and how old Ron not actually was, but how old he felt.
Well isn't this a great twenty-four hours, he thought. Have a beautiful young woman flirt with me, only to realise that it was Teddy, to now being dumped by the young man I have loved for too many years. Too many wasted years on someone I gave too much of my heart too. Damn, someone would've thought I learned after Hermione.
Though he thought all of that, he carefully spoke, "Depends on what that reason is," hoping that he was hiding the rejection he was starting to feel build within him. Any hope that he had allowed himself to feel earlier, when he thought he'd seen a way into Scorpius' shuttered heart, finally started to be snuffed out.
"Maybe I came to the conclusion that I'm tired of playing games too."
Ron was glad that he only had a mug in his hand with all the coffee still in the pot when Scorpius whispered those words. The resulting splash from the mug being dropped would have been painful in just a dressing gown. Whipping round, he looked at Scorpius. Ron took in the slumped posture, the hands jammed into his pockets and the bowed head. The tiredness of his body and the hopefulness in the young man's tone could only mean one thing.
Shoving down the glimmer of hope that was starting to build within him, Ron whispered, "Translation?"
"All these years, I had a choice as deemed by Father years before that day in Wheezes: you or everything that ring represents," Scorpius whispered back, pushing the Malfoy signet ring toward where Ron stood on the counter. "I'm tired of trying to keep both. And today I realised that ring isn't worth losing you. I'm sorry it took so long for me to figure that out."
Tears welled in Ron's eyes as he reached out to Scorpius. There were so many things he wanted to say, but the full heart lodged in his throat prevented that from happening.
"Can I come with you to the Burrow on Sunday?" Scorpius choked out. Tears Ron didn't know the young man was capable of producing trickled down his reddened face.
With a gasp, he reached out and grabbed Scorpius' arm, and the boy came easily towards his body. Wrapping his arms around Scorpius' now-quaking body, not so dissimilar to his own, Ron buried his nose into blond hair whilst Scorpius' tears washed down his neck.
For the first time since the first few moments after the Battle of Hogwarts had ended, Ron finally felt the peace that everyone else had been bleating on about for years. He had simply never imagined it would spring from him loving a Malfoy.
The water looked so inviting as Teddy stared out into it. It reminded him of Ron's eyes: a bright blue that was capable of turning impossibly dark, but were always alive, sparkling, and welcoming.
He didn't want to think about about Ron's eyes any more than he wanted to think about him. Thinking about the man he had been in love with since he was nineteen was too painful, hurting not only his soul but what was left of his heart, too.
The heart that had been broken beyond repair that very morning. Scenes traversed through his mind as he gazed into the depths of the water about the intimate breakfast he had stumbled upon.
It had happened at a random café in Chelsea during his normal daily run. He had seen the café a million times but never had stopped; he had never had someone to share the atmosphere with. It was one of those little cafés tucked discretely near an alley, giving it's patrons as much privacy as an open air eatery could. He had become so wistful over the years of not having anyone to share the café with that he normally kept his head looking in any direction but that one. That morning, though, a familiar flash of red hair caught his attention. It was the same colour of the hair he longed to run his fingers through again. When he turned to look (somewhere in the back of his mind hoping that it was Ron waiting for him), his heart shattered into a million pieces as he came to an abrupt stop in his run.
There, sitting at a small table near the shadows was Ron, reading the Daily Prophet, a coffee cup and half eaten muffin near by; he was not alone. With him was Malfoy, his white hair glimmering in the early morning sun while his own nose was buried in a book, a tea cup and empty plate by his elbow. All Teddy could really see, however, was Malfoy's fingers gently stroking Ron's arm. The casual intimacy of the two in such a public arena told Teddy just how long they had been together, as well as that Ron had never been his to have. Adding to heartache was the realisation of just how meaningless his encounter with Ron had really been to the man.
Watching Ron take Scorpius' hand and press a soft kiss on the back was too much for Teddy to stomach as devastation rolled over him in an instant. Anything else he had to do that day was completely forgotten. His mind filled with various images of Ron laughing over the years filled his mind as he started running. Images of a man that would never be his, that he would never feel again, that would never call Teddy 'mine'.
So he kept running, trying to outrun his thoughts until the point he found himself standing, looking out over the river just millimetres away. A rush of emptiness flowed through him before everything started to look so much clearer.
The action of the water lapping in front of him sharper. The birds were singing more clearly then they had before. The rare appearance of the sun even felt brighter against his face. In that moment, not an epiphany but emthe/em epiphany struck him hard and fast: everything would be so much easier if he took just a step into the depths of the water.
Then another.
And maybe another.
As far as he was concerned his life was now officially over. There was no reason to continue his daily routine if Ron couldn't be a part of it, or at least if there was chance that he might. Teddy could have lived with that, lived with chasing after the man in the hopes of a repeat of that night, when the older man had mastered him so completely, giving him the best orgasm of his life, even though it had left him with tears in his eyes and pleas on his lips.
All he had ever wanted in life was Ron and to be an official Weasley. Now neither one would happen and he couldn't see the point of not taking another step.
And then another.
And one more as the water swirled around him. Its coolness enveloped his heated skin. Everything just felt so much better in that moment, because he knew it would be better.
With one last breath, he let the water swallow him whole.
It wasn't long until everything that mattered faded to black.
James couldn't remember the last time he had slept. His body ached all over and his head had taken to pounding in time to his heart's beat. In the back of his mind, he knew if he would just leave Teddy's room like his family had been encouraging him to do to get something to eat and relax, then his head wouldn't hurt as much. Unfortunately, he couldn't bring himself to leave the chair that had become the centre of his world by Teddy's beside.
He couldn't stop blaming himself for what Teddy had done, although his family had tried to convince him otherwise. None of their words of comfort had bestowed any peace on his heart. His dad's words of gratitude for saving him tasted foul in his mouth -who cared if he jumped into the river after him, when he felt like it was his fault that Teddy had done so in the first place?
All the 'what-ifs' refused to leave his mind. Instead they played over and over again: what if he hadn't been so selfish; what if he had seen just how much Ron's rejection hurt him; what if he hadn't locked Teddy out of his room, not once but twice; what if he had had the courage to actually leave his room at the normal time for their normal run that morning?
There were so many what-ifs and each new one his mind came up with only drove the stake through his heart harder as he stared at Teddy's unconscious form. The turquoise colour of his hair bothered James more than anyone could understand or fathom, for when his mind would leave the 'what-ifs' alone, he became plagued by thoughts of how happy Teddy was unconscious, which only descended into thoughts of Teddy having turquoise hair in a coffin. It was the same colour his hair had been as he was sucked under the swirling water of the river, something that he hadn't been able to bring himself to tell any of his family, especially his father -who James knew considered Teddy to be a son too.
Quietly, he started to whisper as he stared at his hands: "I feel like such an arse saying those things to you, especially now. I just never thought you would do...this.
"I was just so hurt that you were so determined to not see me after everything I've done for you; every time I've been there for you -and you've never seen me. My faith in you seeing me had all disappeared. I just couldn't be your friend anymore. I'm so sorry, Teddy.
"If I could, I would have done everything differently. Especially after seeing you running like you were; like a dragon was chasing you. Your hair was so black and blue. And then you didn't answer me when I called your name; not even when I ran after you. And then seeing you staring out over the water; I couldn't get to you fast enough to stop you.
"And... and... and then you went under.
"Oh Merlin Teddy! I didn't think I was going to find you in that water."
James couldn't stop the tears which started to fall as his mind fogged with the murkiness of the water, the desperation he had felt at that moment overwhelming him even still. He furiously wiped at his eyes, willing them to stop.
"Teddy, I know I'm not what you want but will you come back to us if I say that I want you? That every heartache you feel, I feel because it hurts me to see you hurt?
"You know how much I want to wrap my arms around you and hold you tight right now? Not as friends, but because I love you. To maybe convince you that I may not be able to be your everything, but I think I could be enough. Because no one knows it better than me, that I know when I look at you, I see everything; just as when you looked at him.
"It's okay if you don't feel the same way but I just want you to know that you are wanted and loved here by me; that you won't ever be lonely if you just give me a chance to make you happy.
"Please wake up Teddy. I know I'm not much, but please do it for the rest of my family, they're all outside waiting for any news. Including Ron.
"And granted Scorpius is with him, but he's here and he's worried and he blames himself since he made Ron keep their relationship a secret for so long.
"Please Teddy. Please just wake up. We need you here.
"I need you here.
"'Cuz I've loved you for years and I can't and refuse to imagine a life without you. Especially now.
"Please Teddy, I may not be Ron but I love you.
"Just please wake up."
The last words barely escaped his mouth through the tears streaming down his face and the resulting gasps of air. Exhaustion crept into him, unable to sit anymore as he was, he laid his head on Teddy's legs and with his hand holding Teddy's whispered, "Please Teddy. Please just wake up."
His head felt so heavy as the world came back into focus. Teddy forced his eyes to blink several times as if it would help.
Groaning as his vision finished swimming into focus, he froze when he heard an anguished cry. Teddy didn't have time to do anything else but close his eyes before he felt a body come crashing into his; there were hands on his cheeks before they smoothed over the sides of his face.
"Don't you dare close your eyes." The voice unrecognisable to Teddy he continued to swim in a fog; a fog that was threatening to pull him back under. The voice was deep and throaty, something that he definitely get used to, Teddy decided.
"Teddy, open your eyes again. Please just open your eyes." Something about it reminded him of Ron as it continued to plead with him. Hope began to build within him that it was Ron holding on to him, begging him; with strength he didn't know he had, he fought to open his eyes again. Finally getting them to flutter, blurry shapes in different tones and shades came into his sight.
"That's it. Please Teddy."
The throatiness of the voice began to fade away. The concern, care, and gentleness that remained now warmed his heart as he struggled to get his eyes to focus on the person holding him, and caring for him. The one whose hand was gently brushing away his hair with such tender concern as they continued to whisper encouragement to him to open his eyes.
He was about to nuzzle the hand still cupping his cheek when the person came into focus. Teddy froze when he realised the voice, and the affection belonged to James - his bloody best friend.
"Teddy are you okay?"
No, he wasn't okay, he thought, staring at James' red-tinged eyes and pale skin. His best friend shouldn't be acting like...like...like-
"What are you doing?" Teddy snarled as much as he could, his voice cracking from disuse. He tried to pull away from James' touch, his mind having found a word to describe James' affection but didn't want to comprehend or acknowledge it. Not when it was coming from his supposed best friend.
Teddy felt nothing but growing anger as James recoiled, not only from him but the bed in general. He watched as James wrapped his arms around his body but didn't answer him.
"Well?" he asked again. His voice was not only firm but demanding; he wanted an explanation of why his best friend do such a thing, why he would be so affectionate. Malfoy's words of James being his lover came to him and only served to disgust him more. James was his best friend in the whole world, he could never think of him as anything else. "What the hell are you doing? I'm your bloody best friend James. You're my bloody best friend!"
"I...I...I..." James stuttered through audible gasps.
"You what?"
Teddy watched intently, waiting for James' explanation. It took several moments before he saw James do anything more than just hold himself together. With a suddenness that took him by surprise, he couldn't tear his eyes away as James closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and coolly said, "Getting a life without you," before walking out the door.
James slamming the door caused Teddy to jump in his bed, already missing his best friend, but not enough for him to call after James.
"I'm going to go get some tea, do you want anything?"
Ron turned his head to look at Scorpius next to him and with a forced smile he replied, "No, I'm good."
He closed his eyes as Scorpius leaned forward, whispering "Okay," before placing a chaste kiss on his forehead as the young man's hand cupped his cheek.
The soft affection from his partner did wonders for his battered soul as he whispered, "Thank you."
"For what?" Scorpius quietly replied, his hand gently stroking Ron's cheek.
Opening his eyes, he took in Scorpius' bright grey eyes and the softer look his face had adopted over the past few days. That time there was no effort behind his smile as he explained, "For everything."
"Not a-"
The slamming of a door caused them both to jump and spin their heads in the direction of the noise. Seeing James take off from the room in a run broke Ron's heart. His nephew had been through so much in the past few days, from pulling Teddy out of the river to refusing to leave his bedside. Watching James wipe his face as he continued down the corridor, he wondered just what had happened in Teddy's room.
As he got to his feet, he started to ask Scorpius if he wouldn't mind going to check on James but Scorpius beat him to it with, "I'll go check on James."
"Thank you." Ron murmured and stole a soft kiss from Scorpius' mouth before heading to Teddy's room.
Thinking that James' constant vigil had finally overwhelmed the obviously fragile state the young man was already in, Ron didn't bother to knock as he opened the door. He took a step back in shock when Teddy turned his head to look at him his large brown eyes open and looking at him. Horrified, Ron watched as Teddy's hair turned from black with streaks of blue to a brilliant turquoise. He suddenly wished that it hadn't just been him and Scorpius keeping on eye on James from a distance; the way Teddy looked at him at that moment only served to make him regret his impulsive decision to take someone up on their offer a few nights before even more.
"Hi." Teddy's soft greeting with the sweet, innocent smile that spoke nothing but of hope didn't make anything that Ron was feeling any better.
Taking another step back, Ron simply said, "Let me get your healer."
"You're coming back, yeah?"
He didn't want to, but something told him he had to, at least until Harry returned from the Ministry -and he was already late. Not wanting to upset Teddy, but not wanting to give the boy any more false hope than he was clearly feeling, Ron simply nodded as he stepped back into the hallway with the door open.
It didn't take long for him to find Teddy's Healer who took off running in the direction of his room. Ron knew he could have run with the man, but part of him knew that Teddy would probably misread the situation entirely. So he took his time walking back to Teddy's room, hoping that Harry had finally returned. By the time he got back to Teddy's room, there was still no sign of Harry and the Healer was exiting with an easy smile on his face.
"Everything looks good Mr. Weasley. Should I notify anybody for you? I imagine you all want to spend time with Mr. Lupin as soon as possible?"
Taking steadying breaths as discretely as possible, Ron managed to casually say, "Thank you. Could you message Harry? He'll spread the word." With a chuckle that sounded fake even in his own ears, he added, "I hope you're ready to for the entire clan to re-descend on this floor."
The Healer obviously hadn't noticed just how Ron was feeling. With a jolly laugh, he said, "No one minds. Not with such a joyous reason for the madhouse."
With a forced smile, Ron nodded as he muttered his gratitude again before slipping past the Healer. Knocking on the door frame to Teddy's room, he simply said, "How are you feeling?"
"Okay." Ron hated how bright and chipper Teddy sounded. Looking at the young man whom Ron felt responsible for, especially the part where he had nearly ruined his life, he found himself at a loss for words. Instead Teddy asked, "Is anyone else here?"
"Um... Scorpius is with James at the moment but that's it."
Ron watched as Teddy's face clouded momentarily before brightening, twisting at his gut. Sheer hatred at himself for what he had done and what he was about to do boiled within him. When he saw Teddy's mouth quirk into a smile and open, Ron cut off anything he was about to say with damning words.
"I think we need to talk."
The look on Teddy's face was one of sheer happiness as he nodded his head, and it didn't help matters at all as he joyfully said, "Okay."
Ron pulled the chair that James had been living in for the past several days back a few feet before taking a seat in it. He didn't want to be closer than he had to be. Folding his hands, he rested his arms on his legs and as gently as possible said, "Look, I'm sorry that you got hurt in the process but I shouldn't have done what I did that night: from flirting with you to taking you home."
"Then why did you?" Teddy's voice was so meek it tore at Ron. He hadn't thought he could feel any worse then he already did about the entire situation. It was starting to feel like that winter 'camping' during the war more and more which could only mean one thing -it was only going to get worse from there.
Sitting in the chair he mentally skimmed over all the reasons he had come up with for why he had done what he had, but Merlin knew he hadn't come up with the answer or even one that was half-decent; all he had come up with were piss ant excuses that sounded weak and cheap in his own mind. With a deep breath and his eyes still focused on his hands, he quietly spoke the truth.
"I was lonely and feeling hurt and rejected because it looked like my relationship with Scorpius was over. He had told me three weeks ago that he going to Paris and left me with the impression that he not only was he more than likely not coming back to London, that he wouldn't be coming back to me."
"So why is he here? Has he moved on to James now?"
Figuring he owed Teddy that much, Ron lifted his head to look Teddy in the eyes when he told him. Nothing could prepare him for the look of infinite sadness on the boy's face. Swallowing hard, Ron whispered, "No Teddy. Scorpius is moving in with me. "
As he watched a tear escape Teddy's eye and his turquoise hair start to darken, Ron added, "And we are going to have a bonding ceremony at Christmas."
"And that's it? You're staying with him? What about James?"
"Teddy, I love him. Hell, I've loved the brat since he graduated from Hogwarts. Anyway, what about James? He's been in love with you for ages; Scorpius thought the two of you were together."
Ron watched a dark cloud set on Teddy's on face. "He's my best friend and that's all. I don't know why everyone thinks there is something else between us. So what about me, Ron?"
"Teddy," Ron began carefully, hoping the truth at the bottom of his reaction to seeing Teddy squirming in his bed would go far; especially now that he was in such a foul mood. Ron only hoped that he would be able to contain his temper given that Teddy was being ridiculous about the whole James situation while standing stoically in his shoes looking elsewhere. Unfortunately, he couldn't keep his anger out of his voice as he finally found the words for the truth of their situation. "If I had known that 'Sophie' was really you, then nothing would have happened."
"But why? You were into me. I felt things when you touched me."
"Because I see you as my nephew. Just like James, Al, Louis, and Fred. Everything else doesn't matter. I can't take you to bed."
"But you did."
"And I didn't know it was you. You're my bloody nephew, Teddy."
"I'm not. I'm not your bloody nephew. I'm your best friend's godson. I'm the person that is in love with you. Will treat you better and love you more than...than...that Malfoy!"
"And I'm sorry Teddy. But it doesn't matter what you think about Scorpius. I love him. He loves me. Affections have to be returned to make any relationship work. And you will always be my nephew. 'Sophie'? Sophie stood there and flirted me and acted like she hadn't known me almost everyday of her life. Sophie wasn't you Teddy. This," Ron gesticulated wildly at Teddy, "is you. You're my nephew."
"But I'm not!"
Sighing heavily, his head fell forward as he felt himself giving up. Ron couldn't count the number of times he heard that reasoning in the twenty-four hour fallout of the only time since he had started on with Scorpius that he had been lonely and miserable enough to be tempted by another person. Growling in frustration, he said, "I know that Teddy. It's been pointed out to me by more than one person, more than one time since that night. You and everyone else may not remember it but I do - I remember a time when I was Uncle Ron to you."
"But...but..."
"Teddy, I really am sorry for being an idiot that night and so desperate for any human affection; it's just that Scorpius has had my heart for a long time... And he will have it for the rest of my life."
"He doesn't love you-"
"But he does Teddy," Ron interrupted him knowing just where Teddy's statement was going. He remembered saying it himself to Hermione years before. Except he knew that Teddy wasn't going to stop, and she had. "His father had given him a choice: me or everything else; and he chose me, Teddy. He gave up his name, family, money, status, everything. And regardless of that, I know he loves me Teddy. He loves me as much as I love him, it just took him longer to figure it out, which he only did after I lost all faith in him. He's not perfect Teddy, and he will never be, but I love him and that's what matters in the end."
"So that's it?" The sharpness in Teddy's voice threw Ron for a loop. Looking up, Ron leant back as he watched streaks of pink start to shoot through Teddy's hair as his cheeks took on a flush of anger as tears streamed down his face. "I don't even get a chance because...because...I'm me?"
Ron couldn't bring himself to actually say the answer out loud, so he just nodded.
"Get out." The icy tone in which Teddy spoke shook Ron to the core. He had never known his light-hearted nephew to be capable of such anger, though he couldn't blame him one bit.
Slowly Ron got to his feet. Burying his hands in his pockets with his head down, he did exactly what Teddy asked him to do. Ron didn't try to apologise again or say anything for that matter, because nothing would fix the damage he had regretfully caused. He just wondered what he could do to make the whole situation easier on the heartbroken boy.
When he closed the door to Teddy's room behind him, he hoped to see Harry or at least someone from his family who could be there for Teddy instead of him. Unfortunately, the room was still empty. With a heavy heart, he took a seat and waited for the inevitable fallout.
Though Scorpius could see James running ahead, he didn't change his pace. As long as he could see him in his field of vision, Scorpius was fine taking a relatively leisurely stroll for two reasons; one, Malfoys refused to make scenes and they certainly didn't deign to chase after Potters.
James didn't stop running, however, until he reached the Memorial Gardens on the roof of St. Mungo's. When Scorpius entered them the only suggestion that someone else was there was the top of James' head poking up behind a bench. Not wanting to spook the upset man, Scorpius took his time in approaching his former classmate before taking a seat by him on the bench his back rested upon, instead of on the ground as James was.
"I don't want to talk about it."
Scorpius smirked and replied, "I don't recall asking you if you did."
James' resulting growl caused a bubble of laughter to build inside Scorpius, for it reminded him of their school days when they had taken to giving each other nicknames like "Lord" and "Pup". Scorpius thought better of it and just let it erupt on his face in a smile as he leant back to rest on his hands on the bench, stretching his feet out. To anyone coming across them, it looked like he was merely soaking up some sun.
"I'm a fool, aren't I?"
Several moments had passed before James spoke again, his voice so tentative and unsure that the shock of hearing his former classmate in such a depressed state pulled Scorpius out of his casual, indifferent pose. Looking down and seeing the devastation written over James' hunched shoulders and head hanging between his knees with his hands protecting his head, Scorpius softly said, "When it comes to love, we all are," as he moved to sit on the ground by James.
"Look at me, I've been head over heels in love with Ron since I was eleven. Then I do something brash and finally have him, only to leave him dangling for even more years. It took Lupin doing what he did to remind me what I could lose Ron to make me do the right thing."
"But he at least returned your affection."
"Not for six years. And not until after I chased him into the stockroom in Wheezes, pushed him into the wall and kissed him hard on my seventeenth birthday."
"I didn't do that but when he was struggling to gain consciousness, I was touching him, trying to encourage him to come back, and you know what he said?... Asked me what I was doing; said it so sharply and with disgust."
Scorpius felt so badly for James. Reaching up, he gently started to massage James' exposed neck as he softly said, "I'm sorry James. I guess I was right in calling him a silly, stupid fool."
"If he's that, then what am I?"
"One of the strongest men I know," Scorpius replied truthfully as he continued to rub James' neck. "Anyone else, including me, would have jumped off this roof by now. You are an absolutely amazing person and anyone would be lucky to have your affection. If I wasn't arse over tits for Ron then I may have taken the opportunity to show Teddy what was so readily his, if he wasn't blind."
"I just feel so stupid. I've wasted so much of my time trying to be with him, from living in the same flat as him to sharing the same career. Anything I could think of to get him to see me, to change his mind about me; and it's been for nothing."
"You aren't stupid... And trust me, I'm the King of that principality. I've had it all for years and almost lost the most important thing to me...
"I never knew how he did it, but Father found out about Ron and he told me I had a choice: I could either keep Ron or keep my legacy. For years, I tried to keep both with the legacy being the most important but when I heard about Lupin, I realised just what I was risking by not putting Ron first. The bravest thing I think I have ever done is show up in his flat hoping that he loved me enough to forgive me and to be willing to keep me as I am.
"You can't imagine my surprise when my father actually, genuinely smiled when I told him I was choosing Ron and he could find a new heir. He told me that years ago, his father had presented him with the same options and he chose the estate, letting go of the one who got away. When he found out about Ron, he thought he would present me with the same choice and hope that I would make the better decision.
"And as you know, I didn't for the longest time.
"I don't regret what I did. It makes me value Ron and what I have with him even more. And though Lupin is a bloody idiot for letting you go, I hope that you don't regret the time you've spent loving him because though I doubt you will throw your heart away like that again, I think when you find that someone who looks at you the way you look at them, it will be all the more precious for it."
"I don't think I can do this."
James' pitiful voice tore at Scorpius. Moving his hand down and rubbing on his back, Scorpius whispered, "I think you can. And Ron and I will help you do just that. This isn't going to be easy, but we'll help you."
"Why?"
For the first time, James lifted his head and looked at him. His eyes were pleading and sad; part of Scorpius recognised he could have been in the same shoes as James, all those years before, while the other part of him realised just how much he had risked for so long.
Nodding his head, he replied truthfully, "I could have very well been in your shoes. And then I came very close to throwing it all away."
"What am I going to do?"
"Well, no one's going to let you do anything by yourself. So I think the first order of business is to move you out of your flat and into the one here in London that I don't need anymore. Then I think you need to figure out what you want to do and where you want to go and we will help make it happen."
"And if I want to go to Australia?" The wariness in James' eyes told Scorpius' all he needed to know. It was something familiar from his school days spent being first terrorised by the boy and then returning the favour.
"I'd say, I hope you want to go to Sydney because I already have a house there you can use... Rent free, of course, and I may know of a position or two in the Ministry there or with any of the Quidditch teams. I also have a couple of friends there who will be more than happy to take you around and get you acclimatised to everything...
"I know it's not going to be easy, James, but Ron and I will help you get on your feet again."
"Thank you," James breathlessly whispered before hanging his head again. Scorpius could hear James stifling his tears. Supposing he had done the best that he could, he patted him on the back before getting to his feet. Once there, he pulled out a card bearing his London address. He flipped it over and used his wand to ink down the phrase James would need to get in.
"I'll get the wards changed to allow you entrance. When you Apparate, say this at the same time and you'll arrive inside. And if you need someone to talk to, I'm at Ron's. I know he won't mind me saying that the invitation is for any time, even if it's two in the morning. I'll make sure his wards include you also."
Scorpius placed the card under James' hand that was still shielding his head. He watched as the card was quickly crumpled up as the sound of James' tears became harder. Turning on his heel, he cast some quick privacy wards and went to sit on the other side of the garden, where he could keep an eye on James' but given him what privacy he could to mourn all he had lost.
Cian was surprised that the sun woke him on a Saturday morning instead the smell of his partner cooking his idea of breakfast, which was lots of bacon and eggs with very little fruit or anything else that might be construed as healthy. Thinking that he may have managed to wake up before Teddy got back from his daily run, Cian rolled over to see the time before going downstairs and make breakfast himself; in what he knew would be yet another vain attempt to get his partner to eat just a tad more healthily.
The digital clock shone twenty past ten back at him, jolting him fully awake and out of bed. Teddy was normally back from his run by half past eight at the latest, with breakfast ready to go by nine. Grabbing the closest underwear he could find, Cian quickly jumped his way into them figuring that there had to be something wrong.
Granted, they hadn't been sharing a roof all that long -only a few months to be exact- but in the three years he had known Teddy, the man was nothing but a creature of habit. He got up the same time every day and go for a run before coming back and preparing breakfast; then he would head out to his job at the Ministry while Cian reported to whatever scheduled Quidditch practice he had before coming back together for dinner, or maybe an evening out until bed called their name.
Cian called out Teddy's name as he rushed down the stairs, afraid something had really happened to him, as the quiet and free of smells that their cottage by the sea remained as he descended. Brushing his long red fringe out of his face, he bolted into the kitchen to find everything out, hoping that Teddy was there, about to get started. When he turned to the table to check there for Teddy, he saw a spilled mug with coffee pooling on what appeared to be The Daily Prophet with some of it starting to drip onto the floor.
Confused, he called out Teddy's name as he moved over to the table to clean up the spilt coffee. He took a moment to look at the headlines of the paper as he up-righted the mug and started to mop at the spillage. He thought that something in the headlines might have upset Teddy, but Cian wouldn't have a clue as to what that might be.
Teddy had always been so intensely private about his family; Cian had met his grandmother on occasion and his godfather, the famous Harry Potter. As to the rest of his so called 'family' that turned Teddy's hair black and blue when his grandmother mentioned them at all, let alone by name, Cian was completely in the dark outside of what he learned in school and the occasional mentions that Teddy made -typically when he had too much to drink.
He had tried on numerous occasions to convince Teddy that they didn't need to spend every holiday with his family, that they could instead spend it with Teddy's, but Teddy had always acted liked it was the worst thing that Cian could ask of him. In fact, the last time when he mentioned going to England for a small break to spend with his family, because he knew it had been years since Teddy had actually gone, Teddy had retorted with the idea of them moving in together, to the little cottage he had bought overlooking the sea.
It was times like that that he hated that he loved a man that was so closed off from him -as did his family, who weren't afraid to mention it to Cian when Teddy wasn't around- but Cian always accepted that he had dug his grave when he chose Teddy.
Most days he didn't expect a tomorrow with the man, so each one he got felt like he had been rewarded.
So when Teddy out of the blue suggested that they move in together, he had jumped at it even though he secretly kept a bag packed to leave at a moment's notice. His family would kick his backside from here all the way to his cousin's residence in the States if they knew he willingly lived knowing his relationship could crash and burn at any minute.
At the top of the page, the headline of "Caelum & Cassiopeia Weasley-Malfoy have Arrived!" and a picture of the clearly happy Scorpius Malfoy and the old war hero Ron Weasley with their new son and daughter first caught his eye. Cian had to admit how adorable the two babies were. One had the same red hair as one of their fathers, and the other appeared to have the same abilities as Teddy, as its hair kept changing colour in the photo.
Cian couldn't help but feel a bit jealous of the obviously two proud fathers as they cooed at the infants they had acquired through a surrogate, between sneaking looks of adoration between themselves. He had always wanted a family but it was something he had chosen to give up, the moment he decided to pursue anything he could with Teddy.
Yet, it was a smaller picture below the story proclaiming the birth of the next Malfoy heir and his sister that took Cian's breath away. There stood a familiar face with shaggy brown hair and brown eyes, a face with the brightest smile he had ever seen; the same one that was in almost every photo in the box that Teddy thought was hidden from Cian. He had never gone looking for it, though he had known of its existence, having seen Teddy consistently hide something away when he emerged from the shower most mornings when they first got together. Cian had stumbled upon it going through boxes, looking for the gloves he misplaced during the move and had been thankful that Teddy had been on assignment, giving him time to study the pictures; they were his first glimpses of Teddy's life before he showed up in Dublin a year before Cian convinced him to go out to dinner with him as a date.
Wiping the picture free of coffee, he noticed that Teddy's godfather was also in the picture with the happy couple. The caption simply read, "James Sirius Potter, oldest son of Harry Potter, weds Auggie Pendleton in a private affair attended by close family and friends this Saturday in Sydney, Australia."
Gently, Cian ran his finger over James' image. He had assumed that the young man in the hidden pictures had died and that lead to the obvious estrangement between Teddy and his family. Now he couldn't help but wondered if James had broken Teddy's heart. The obvious love that shone through in the pictures just didn't settle well with Cian, the more he thought about James breaking Teddy's heart. Taking a seat at the table, he wondered how he could get Teddy to talk about something which was so obviously painful, even then. The longer he looked at the picture, the more he wondered exactly what happen that sent Teddy to Ireland and James to the other side of the world with absolutely no contact between the two.
The crack of the screen door tore his attention away from the paper. Curious more than anything and hoping that it would lead him to his partner, Cian took one last look at the picture before laying the paper on the table and heading to the door.
Looking out over the sandy beach that would take one to the ocean just beyond the dunes, Cian didn't see any sign of Teddy. He called Teddy's name again but when he didn't get a response, he started down the path towards the ocean. All the while, he looked for any sign of his partner's dark blue hair.
It wasn't until he cleared the dunes that he noticed a set of footprints headed toward the water which were not much different from his own. Something told him they were Teddy's, so he put his own feet in the established footprints and followed them to the water's edge.
Having seen no sign of his lover on the beach, his heart started to thud louder as the footsteps disappeared into the waves. When he felt the water wrap around his own ankles, desperation enveloped him as he scanned the water for any sight of Teddy or his blue hair.
Cian yelled Teddy's name again and again out over the water as he continued to walk into the sea, hoping that his lover had simply gone out for a swim. It was yet one more thing that Cian had given up fighting Teddy on. Teddy was determined to do his swimming just beyond Cian's line of sight. He had tried the stance once of telling his partner that if he really cared about him, then Teddy wouldn't be so insistent on scaring him with every swim he took, but Cian hadn't gotten anywhere. In fact, Teddy had refused to speak to him until Cian couldn't take it anymore and asked for his forgiveness and swore he wouldn't bring it up again.
Suddenly in the distance he saw Teddy's hair, a brilliant shade of turquoise -something Cian had only seen in those hidden pictures before- surface from the depth of the sea. In that moment, looking at his lover's face, Cian knew his relationship with the man he loved was over, if it had ever really existed.
He found himself hating a man he had never met for it.
Fin.