A/N: I simply had to right this piece just because it's such an important part of the book and it happened in my homeland. Brazil. Even better: RIO! It's the missing piece of BD when Edward pulled them to "deeper water". Page 85. Sorry if you find any mistakes. The original version of this fic is in portuguese.
A BIG THANK YOU TO Beatriz Reis, who helped me A LOT with the translation!
Aurora Borealis
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"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb."
Twilight, chapter 13
-Stephenie Meyer
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I thought I had seen Edward completely dominated by passion before, but now I realized how much we'd been missing thanks to our "special conditions". His golden orbs were shining; their usual shades of gold replaced by some kind of fiery color.
I smiled to myself and to him because I realized that it didn't matter how extremely ordinary my looks were compared to his, and it didn't matter that I was a child next to his years of intense living. Nothing mattered. I belonged to Edward. Edward belonged to me. And it was not up to us. It was just how things were; as if we were parts of the same soul that simply couldn't help but attract and tangle.
I didn't need to move to execute my intention to kiss him. As if he had read my mind, he locked his lips on mine gently.
The most fascinating of it all was that my initial insecurity disappeared like the water had washed it away and taken it to the bottom of the ocean, far away from us. Everything felt right. There was nothing embarrassing about my nudity, nothing embarrassing about the way he allowed his hands to slide all over my body. Everything was exactly how it's supposed to be. And I was exceptionally happy.
He interrupted the kiss and I almost moaned in protest. His hands let go of my body and traced the way to my face to hold it between them.
Edward let his lips travel through my face. My forehead, my cheeks, my nose, my chin, my mouth… He held my waist. My feet didn't touch the ground anymore and I didn't understand or cared how he was able to hold my body without losing balance with the water on his neck.
I threw my arms around him, pulling him to a passionate kiss.
Without any kind of caution.
For a moment, my body tensed, and I asked myself if I was pushing it too hard. Edward seemed so determined to move things slowly… However, my cautions died the instant his hands held me tighter against him. Maybe the strength he was using was unnecessary, but I welcomed it. A hand was sliding along my skin until it reached the back of my head, grabbing between his long fingers part of my hair while the kiss was growing more intense. Intense like we had never experienced before.
His tongue searched for mine with an intoxicating hunger; his lips pressuring mine with irresistible and unrestrained passion. There weren't any barriers between us. No caution, no chariness. There weren't any vampires or humans. There weren't hunter or prey. We were just husband and wife. Edward and Bella.
I was so entertained with my own happiness and with my husband's lips that I barely noticed when he carried me to the shore of the beach; never disentangling our bodies.
With more caution then I would've expected, he laid my body on the sand. His lips unlocked from mine to move to my chin and neck. His hands took different directions: one caressing my back and the other playing with my hair.
"I love you." The words came out of my mouth so naturally that I barely felt when I said them. I repeated just so I could check that I had really enunciated them. "Edward, I love you"
Frankly, I was repeating something obvious. That I spoke frequently. Almost a cliché. So I can say with all honesty that I was deeply surprised when, in a fraction of a second, he positioned his body perfectly above mine and I could feel some kind of roar coming from the depths of his being while he squeezed me and approached his mouth to mine.
For an instant I thought I should worry. But when the roar finally escaped his lips, reverberating through my skin, I understood that he was dominated by another kind of thirst.
His lips pressed mine with force, kissing through my chin, flavoring my neck and descending to my chest. I held my breath, trying to focus my vision on the sky when he reached a sensitive spot.
My face blushed deeply. And it had nothing to do with shame. It was the simple surprise of the unexpected pleasure that that soft touch of his lips could provoke. His intimate kiss reached my breasts.
The groan that escaped from my mouth surprised the both of us. I blushed even harder, realizing how much that had actually pleased Edward.
"You're driving me insane, Bella" he whispered hoarsely with his lips on my skin. "Completely insane."
I trembled when he said my name and wished to look at his face. He wouldn't allow me to do that though. He flavored my tight nipple making me arch in pleasure and close my eyes. Completely taken by surprise of my own sensibility.
Each one of my reactions seemed to fascinate him. He pulled me even closer. Grabbing me by my arms, my hips, my waist… anywhere he could reach. His hands were venturing every curve of my body. Feeling, kissing, holding… caressing my inner thigh. Slowly, provocatively.
To my deep enjoyment, Edward seemed even more dominated by passion than I was. His arousal was obvious.
Seriously. I could feel it on my hips.
"Magnificent." He breathed, biting my ear lobe. The feeling was just too good, but my body instinctively wanted to retract away. He grabbed my arms to prevent that. "You're so magnificent, Bella. So beautiful. Sometimes I think everything would be easier if you weren't so damn perfect."
I sighed, filled with pleasure.
"I'm not." I answered in a soft whisper.
The hand that held my arm, slid and cupped my arching breast. A strangled sound came out of my throat and he laughed, satisfied with himself.
"Every inch of your body was designed for me. You're mine, Bella. You were perfectly designed for me."
I had no doubt about that.
"I love you." He confessed in a ragged and oddly preoccupied voice.
I was so afraid that he suddenly decided to pull away that I held him against me the harder that I could, my mouth sought his. He laughed of my sudden despair and kissed me back. I moaned happily when his hands came back to their gentle exploration. His hand touched me more delicately than before and I trembled so violently that it was embarrassing.
I grabbed his shoulders fiercely. I knew that he wouldn't even feel my strength but I expected him to understand what I wanted. And what I wanted was our bodies closer than humanly possible.
The hand that cupped my breast slid roughly down my body to reach my thigh. Then he pulled almost painfully and suddenly his knee slipped between my legs, nudging them open. His hands were too strong, but his lips made a seductive and gentle trail between my ear and my neck. Like he was trying to calm me down so I wouldn't hesitate.
It was kind of silly of him to think that after everything I went through to get to that very moment I would hesitate. My body clamed for his in such an obvious way! It vibrated and I contorted myself in pleasure with the silliest touches. I was completely surrendered.
Holding me even tighter, after making sure that my leg would stay put around him, his lips abandoned my skin and he lift me up to gaze my eyes.
His face was breathtaking, illuminated by the lights of the night. His hair fell down messy and wet on his eyes. Those eyes of liquid fire that devoured me with such adoration that filled mine with tears. His hand abandoned my leg and he rolled his thumb under my eyes and licked it.
The way he stared at me while he did that made more emotional tears flow down my cheeks. Edward didn't love me. Edward adored me. After everything we had been through, that was simply wonderful to know.
Everything vanished from my mind when, in an unexpected move, Edward was inside me. He penetrated me so forcefully I couldn't help it but yell. And when I did, I barely recognized my voice.
For several seconds my instinct made me try to pull away, but his cold hand held my leg and the heavy body on top of mine took away every possibility of movement.
Now my tears were of pain. I did not want to open my eyes to face him, but I ended up doing it, so when I realized he had stopped moving.
I don't know which was my expression but I know it couldn't be compared to Edward's.
"I'm sorry, Bella." he asked. "I just can't… resist… I…"
I shut him up by kissing his lips tenderly.
I knew it wouldn't be easy. I knew that I had a good chance of ending up not feeling any pleasure. It was my first time after all. It's normal to feel pain. I was prepared to that. After everything I had put Edward through, I was NOT going to let him feel guilty for something that was normal.
His lips became demanding, kissing me with intensity. I knew he couldn't stop know.
Edward started moving inside me and I could feel that he was trying to go slow. Trying to be a gentleman. When his lips abandoned mine to focus on my neck, I had to control myself to not shout again.
He brushed his thumb over one of the painfully hard nubs, caressing it.
Yes, I was feeling pain. But I was also completely aroused. It was odd. His movements grew stronger and I could feel him lose control. The feeling of him inside me was something that I could have never imagined.
It was really weird, but at the same time, it felt right. It was painful as hell but yet… good.
We fit perfectly. I just needed to get used to it.
When his fingers started playing with my tight peaks I cried out loud of pleasure. It sounded like a scream.
I think that shattered something inside him because his movements began to get harder than I had imagined to be possible for me to endure, getting in and out of me. Kissing my neck; his teeth rasping dangerously my jugular.
"Edward…" I wanted to say something but I didn't know what.
The pain was decreasing, but it was there. I was already prepared to that. I just wasn't prepared to the wave of pleasure that started reverberating through my body. Pain and pleasure. How could those two coexist?
I hugged him. I used my hand to pull him by the shoulders and the other to pull his short reddish locks. I was suddenly glad for being so weak. I could pull, scratch and discharge all my pain and I still wouldn't inflict him any.
That thought, in a curious way, gave me confidence and more pleasure.
I wrapped my other leg around him, allowing him to thrust deeper. His movements were strong and precise. Edward was so confident that I asked myself if it was really his first time.
I moved my body under his trying to intensify that burning pleasure; the pain fading away slowly and softly. Or maybe I was just growing insensible to it.
"Damn it, Bella." Edward roared in my ear. "You're going to kill us both!"
And that was when I noticed.
I'd been moaning.
Loud.
And that was driving him mad.
Cool.
I bit my lower lip, but that wasn't able to stop me from producing sounds.
"Edward" I begged. I didn't know exactly for what.
Part of me wanted him to go slow and to be gentler. The other part wanted him to thrust me even faster and harder, even if it would killed me.
I raised my head and kissed his neck, pressing my lips against his cool skin with all the strength I could so he could at least feel something. I pressed him between my legs, feeling his movements grow erratic.
I kept kissing his neck and scratching his back until he pulled me back, making my head bump against the sand.
His face was contorted with pleasure and a rush of pride went through my body, knowing that I was the cause of that pleasure. I was so hypnotized that I didn't even notice that he locked my hands above my head.
He gazed at me while he was moving and I could see that he wasn't thinking anymore. His instincts had gotten the best of him.
It was funny how I wasn't scared. I wasn't scared when his eyes traveled to my neck, staring it with obvious hunger. I wasn't scared when, showing his sharp teeth, he buried his head there.
Edward did not bite me.
In the last second, he chose to kiss me.
His lips kissed their way to my ear.
"Bella." He whispered. His voice was… animalistic. That's the only word to describe it. "I love you so much."
It was good to know that even so dominated by his instincts that was an irrefutable truth to him.
"I love you more" I joked with a strangled voice.
"Impossible."
When he kissed me, I groaned against his lips.
I don't know exactly what happened next. My sight got blurry and my mind went blank. I don't know if our sweet exchange of words had relaxed my body. I don't know if he did something different. I don't know if it was natural to happen what happened. I just know that my whole body trembled hard in strong convulsions of delectation. It was more pleasure that I thought I was capable of feeling.
A pleasure that swallowed my whole being, specially the parts that Edward touched with such devotion. I thought to free my hands. I wanted to grab something. Bring him close. I wanted to move and stimulate him to go faster, deeper and stronger.
Finally he let go of my hands and I could hold him and kiss him.
My body moved against his without any control and I could no longer feel the sand under me. I couldn't distinguish the sound of my breath from his, and I couldn't see the stars above us. I couldn't feel, see, touch or think of anything that wasn't Edward.
Edward, Edward, Edward.
Edward and his hands that held me and caressed me so possessively. Edward and his magnificent icy body. Edward roaring with his perfect voice. Edward and his cold lips that found in my breasts temples of adoration.
Edward inside me.
I threw my head back, burying it in the sand while the intense rush of pleasure exploded between my legs to travel through the rest of my body. I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. I opened my eyes to the dark sky. Now, in the high of pleasure, I saw it bursting with new colors that danced, shone and sparkled like a veil covered with stars. Like my own private aurora borealis.
Did I just have an orgasm?
Is it normal on first times?
My whole body was shaking, but Edward wouldn't stop.
This wasn't something I had considered and in that moment I felt really stupid for it. It was more than obvious that Edward was not in the mood to stop. His immortal, stony, unwearying body wouldn't want to stop until… well, I didn't know when he was planning to stop.
That idea gave me chills. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach.
I wouldn't be able to endure it and I knew it. It was too much pleasure to one tiny little person like me.
"Edward" I called.
He made me shut up with his lips. His movements were different. More soft and delicate. The way I supposed they were meant to be before. Not that it mattered much. It was good having him inside me even if my body was completely tired because of that explosion from before.
While he penetrated me with tenderness, I disentangled my legs from around him, trying to create the perfect moment for him to get out of me and give me some time to rest.
Edward didn't appreciate that. He pulled my thighs forcefully, too fast for me to prevent it or react.
"No." he growled. "Not now. Not yet."
His tone didn't leave room for further discussions. It was so bossy, so decided. I sighed because I was really okay with that, but he would have a fit in the morning when he remembered that, for once in his life, he didn't treat me like I was made of glass.
So I brought him closer. Thinking that I really should enjoy that moment.
Edward understood this as a gesture of consent because his movements grew faster, harder and violent. And it was wonderful.
His lips kissed me with delicacy. His hands sliding through my belly and breasts. He whispered my name. Low and repeatedly. Like he was repeating a mantra or praying. For an instant I thought that it was just the howl of the wind playing a trick with my affected senses.
I was really surprised with my body. But I think that it was another thing I should have expected. After some thrusts, that overwhelming pleasure was back, taking strengths that I didn't know that my body had. I tightened my legs around him again and made new movements. Moving my hips to his.
I knew this couldn't be right. I knew my body shouldn't be so subservient to his wishes. I knew it couldn't be healthy. But I couldn't help it. The truth is that I really didn't care too much about myself when the subject involved Edward.
So I allowed myself to lose into that overpowering pleasure again, until my body couldn't take it anymore. It was when the thrusts grew stronger and longer that we came together.
I collapsed feeling my muscles completely sore. I wanted to move and hold him. But I couldn't. I didn't get too worried though. I just needed a few seconds.
I closed my eyes and paid attention to what he was doing. Edward wasn't inside me anymore. His body moved away from mine, getting into a comfortable position for both of us. He rested his head between my breasts. He breathed deeply the air he didn't need, brushing his fingers through up and down my arm.
I heard his soft voice, barely making it to my ears. Murmuring my lullaby.
I smiled and raised my hand lazily to his hair.
"No." his voice was now soft, but it hadn't lost that animalistic character from before. I retreated my hand. "It's already too difficult. Don't make things worse."
I decided that I kind of liked that bossy tone.
I opened my eyes and felt waves coming from the sea starting to reach us. The water seemed so warm compared to Edward's skin. The water left only my face out. I asked myself if Edward had calculated when this was going to happen. If he had planned everything in the water so it would take away my blood. If my blood somehow was less attractive underwater.
Before I could at least finish my thoughts, Edward rapidly picked me up and carried me, flying with me away from the beach. When I opened my eyes we were back in the room. My naked body wetting the sheets.
I got up slowly and Edward, who was lying next to me, held my arm restrictively.
"What are you doing?" he asked with some sort of rage.
"I was thinking about taking a shower?" it came out like a question. I felt stupid.
"No" he said like it was the most absurd thing he had ever heard. "No, you can't be away from me, Bella. No!"
I bended over him I kissed him lightly.
"Edward, I just need a little water. I'm covered in sand." I slid my finger provocatively through his arm. "Care to join me?" I smiled raising my eyebrows with the suggestion.
He didn't reattribute my smile right away. His mouth was slightly open and his eyes were glued in my lips.
"Okay. If that's what you want, love." His voice was still a little weird. Strangled and husky.
I deduced that it should be hard for him to control his growing desire, trying not to impose his non-human resistance.
When he reached the bathroom we didn't mind about turning on the lights. Edward didn't even give me a chance to step on the floor. Before I knew it, we were already under the shower. I turned on the hot water, but before I could adjust the intensity I wanted, my husband glued my body against the wall and kissed me.
I hugged his neck and tangled my legs around him so I could be more secure, since he wouldn't let me down. I kissed him and put my heart on that act. Edward's hands were confining me against the wall and his body. With no restrictions, he slid his hand through my body, stopping in certain spots, taking his time, testing and flavoring my reactions. It was incredible how fast he was learning my sensitive spots when I didn't even know I had them.
He extended his arm to get something, but I didn't see what it was. Gently he unglued me from the wall and put me down. I almost fell, but he held my tight. He turned me gently and I felt the soapy bath sponge sliding along my back, washing away the sand and cleaning me. After that, Edward cleaned every inch of my body with delicate and gentle gestures. He took his time on my breasts, my neck and between my thighs. Provoking and stimulating me.
When I looked at his face, the little light coming from the lamp in the bedroom allowed me to see that it was contorted with something between pleasure and pain. Desire and despair. Those old contradictions. I understood that what we were doing was torture to him. A torture, however, that he couldn't avoid. When I ran my fingers through his hair I noticed they were completely free from the sand. How could he clean up so easily?
I leaned against the wall to prevent me from falling since he wasn't holding me anymore. He was down, soaping my legs, replacing the sponge with his own lips from time to time.
"Edward."
When he looked up at me, there was so much worship in his eyes that I felt tears overflowing mine again. Apparently I didn't cry only in moments of anger. It was what I thought, cleaning some persistent tears. I cried in totally inappropriate moments like that one.
"What is it, love?" he asked softly, standing up to kiss my lips. "What is it my darling? My heart… my Bella…"
"I just… you don't have to suffer so much. Soon I'll be like you. You don't have to endure this. I can spend the rest of this night in the other room…" I emphasized 'this night' so he wouldn't think that's what I actually wanted.
"No." he interrupted me. Staring at me like I had completely lost my mind. "What are you even talking about, Bella? You CANNOT stay away from me. I can't allow it."
I smiled humorlessly while I caressed his face. He grabbed my hand, immobilizing it and spreading kisses along my arm, starting by the wrist.
It was amusing, because it was a version of Edward I had never met before. Dominated by instincts and feelings, without the restrictions or anything else. I knew he loved me, but I didn't expect him to be so desperately passionate. I knew he desired me, but I didn't imagine that that desire could unleash that necessity and hunger.
Like I didn't have to handle with vampire Edward who lusted my blood. Now I had to deal with that beast inside of him that lusted my body and just longed for sex.
Sex.
It was odd to think of that word. It didn't quite fit. What we did – and I suspected we were about to do again – was something that transcended sex. It was something that transcended any futile carnal experience.
"I don't want to stay away from you, Edward." It was funny to think how I was the most reasonable one of the relation this time. I'm not going to lie. It felt good. "But I don't want to impose anything. I don't want to make you suffer."
"Then don't go."
I frowned with the senseless conversation.
"I'm not going anywhere, Edward."
"You're not." He agreed with conviction. "I won't let you. I love you, Bella."
And he said that like it would justify anything he would do to me. Maybe it would.
I smiled. It was good to see Edward so exposed and vulnerable. Even after he came back to me, even after all his promises, after everything we had been through, I was still under the impression that he was going to disappear again.
But now I knew:
He wouldn't have the strength to leave me.
With that conclusion, I gladly kissed my husband, putting my arms around his neck. I barely held my laughter of joy. He laughed too.
"You are so weird, Bella." He said. "In one second you're crying your eyes out and the other you're laughing like a child… you fascinate me."
I wanted to say that he wasn't so different. First he was Edward full of cautions and self depreciation that practically tricked me into marrying him and in the other second he was this passionate and unstoppable creature, desperate for me.
I slid my fingers through his well built chest, but barely had time to admire it. Our bodies were pressed together again and he kissed me with urge and intensity. My feet no longer hit the ground. When did he pick me up again? I can't say. His lips inebriated me. I wanted him so bad!
My body craved for his. My nipples were painfully hard against his chest. His hands reached for them forcefully but it wasn't enough.
I opened my eyes when my back hit the bed and the Edward's comfortable weight pressed me again. His grasping kisses passing through my neck, my chest, and spending more time in my arching breasts. I gasped, moaned and cried of pleasure… and still he locked my arms on the bed like I was trying to escape or something. I almost laughed again with that ludicrous possibility.
Edward descended his lips even more, kissing my belly. I felt tinkles and delight, so my laughter came out a little weird. Rapidly he came up to face me. His expression was one of pure fascination.
"I love it when you laugh." He admitted, slowly pressing his wonderfully built body against mine. "I love it when you cry." His hand reached my breast and his mouth when to my ear lobe. "I love it when you fall, I love it when you walk, love it when you see right through me… I adore you."
And then he was inside of me again. And this time there was no pain. At least nothing to worry about. There was just the pleasure of our united bodies. When he started moving with that same intensity and rhythm from before I was ready for him. I locked him between my legs and held him tight with my hands, like my life depended on that.
"For heaven's sake, Bella!" he growled in my ear.
I can't describe his voice better. It was a growl. A beautiful, loving, husky growl.
His hand pushed me fiercely to bed, pressing my body on it. On that position, I was completely subdued to him. He could do whatever he wanted with me that I wouldn't be able to react. Thankfully he chose to kiss me and touch me. He seemed to really enjoy kissing me all over. His movements were strong and the bed shook along with my body. I buried my head in the pillow, closing my eyes and biting my lower lip. I really wanted to look into his eyes, but I simply couldn't. It was too much.
I flickered my eyelids a few times and realized the hungry look he directed to my neck. I wasn't scared this time either. I just closed my eyes seen the sparkle of his teeth, irrationally offering my neck to him…
"Edward…"
I shut my eyes, waiting for his teeth to sink in my throat but nothing happened. Edward's face was right next to mine. He let his face buried in the pillow for several seconds. Then he lifted himself up and, while looking me in the eyes, started to penetrate me more fiercely and violently. My eyes rolled with pleasure and I held him tight. My breath coming out hardly.
With one hand I grasped his shoulder while the other grasped the sheet under me. Just to make me feel safely under a surface so it wouldn't matter how dizzy I was.
"Edward." I cried. Again, none of us understood what I wanted.
"Fuck." He cursed suddenly. Burying his head in the pillow one more time.
It didn't take long for that explosion to invade me again. I thought I would be prepared for it, but I wasn't. Like the first time, when he realized I came, Edward slowed down. After a while, I was ready for him to come back to that breathtaking rhythm.
I started to ask myself how a little while ago that experience had been remotely painful. I couldn't even remember the pain.
Of course he was still a little too violent, but it wasn't his fault. I was the frail and vulnerable one. I hurt easily. Edward was too strong and was already trying very hard not to hurt me. Maybe if he was more delicate he wouldn't feel anything, and I wanted him to enjoy that night as much as I was.
The truth was that, even if he felt half of what I was feeling, I would be glad.
His movements started to get long and intense. My eyelids suddenly felt incredibly heavy. Like I had been so distracted pulling him to me that I didn't even noticed my energies being drained in each one of his thrusts. Soon it started to get really difficult to move my arms.
But I didn't want him to stop. I didn't want to stop. I hated myself for being so weak. For not being strong enough to follow his movements. I wanted more than anything in the world to become a vampire. I was just glad about my human condition again when I remembered that as soon as I got, was changed, I wouldn't be myself for a long time. So I wouldn't be able to enjoy my husband like I was enjoying him now.
"Bella." Edward breathed.
I realized I had been moaning and yelling his name. Now, while I felt that explosion of pleasure, it didn't matter if I wanted to pull him closer to me and lose myself on those soft lips and strong movements. My body betrayed me. I collapsed.
And I simply couldn't move anymore. My arms fell, so did my legs. However, Edward wasn't done. He pulled my leg so it wouldn't fall completely and came inside of me, spreading kisses on my neck and whispering too fast for me to understand what he was saying.
My smile was silly and dumb.
"Bella?" he called with a worried voice. It must have been odd for him not having my hands trying to grab and pull him closer.
Not that I didn't want to kiss him, and grab him and start all over again. My stupid and frail body simply wouldn't let me.
"Bella! Love! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to…"
-Sssh… - I made. Using all my strength to raise my hand and brush it through his mouth. My touch was so light and fast that I wondered if he actually felt it. My arms were hurting a little. "I just need some… time."
I could feel the weight of his preoccupied stare, but I didn't mind. I allowed myself to drift into a calm and profound sleep, with a silly smile on my face.
Everything had been even more perfect than I had imagined.
Edward arranged me in his arms, which was an extremely welcome gesture since it as a very hot night.
I had the most long and wonderful hours of sleep of my entire life.
Life couldn't get much better than that.
FIN
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A/N: This is my first (and hopefully not last) Twilight fanfic. A piece that every Twilighter misses in BD. It would be weird in the book, but we can still imagine and share our versions of what happened right?
The only thing I might have changed was about the pain. Bella says in the book that she didn't remember any pain, but let's face it: First times HURT. And generally seconds and thirds too.
So I included the pain, but deduced that she felt so much pleasure later that she forget every earlier discomfort.
Don't forget checking out the cover at my profile.
And I would VERY much appreciate reviews!
Thank you,
Ella Evans
-G