Author's note-I am back:) Let me start with some explanation first- This is AU, some events of canon did happen, others mostly from DH didn't. The timelines are also different. In my story, Harry and Ginny started dating in Ginny's 6th year and continued dating till the end of Ginny's 7th year. Obviously DD didn't die like he did in HBP but was killed after Harry graduated from Hogwarts. The rest of the back story will become clear as you read on.

I am experimenting a little with the narrative this time, so I'll be writing Chapters from Hermione, Harry and Ginny's POVs (most Harry and Ginny) and maybe I'll put one with Ron's as well.

Now on with the story…

She watched him nurse his glass of mead as he stared at the fire. She did it often, this watching him, whenever the two of them got together. They didn't have much to say to each other on most days and when they did, they would talk about work and the wizarding world in general-never about what they had lost or the people they had lost.

During those rare moments when she had allowed herself to dream of a future during the war, it had never been this. In some of her girly fantasies, she has seen herself snuggled up with Ron by the fireplace in their cozy little home, or when she had really allowed herself to let go, she had imagined herself in a house of her own with little read headed children. She had accepted now that those dreams were never going to come true, she had made her peace with life, what broke her heart was the Harry hadn't.

It was strange how things turned out really. She was the one rooting for Ginny when the girl was crushing on Harry and when he finally snogged her in the middle of the common room she felt genuinely happy for both her friends. But after that, things started going downhill, Ron was still busy sucking Lavender's face and when Harry started walking around with the goofy grin and spending most of his free time with Ginny, she started feeling left out. It was as if her best friends had forgotten her and moved on with life.

She remembered how slowly things started getting strained between Ginny and her, till they reached a point where she felt nothing but resentment against her read headed 'friend'. She had felt hurt when Ginny had screamed at her for nagging Harry and felt betrayed when instead of defending her, Harry had supported his girlfriend, with a look of sappy adoration plastered on his face.

Ginny had apologized to her later for screaming, but never for her comment about nagging Harry. She had tried to let go too, but somewhere the anger against her stayed. For some reason, she found it easier to forgive Ron and Harry, perhaps because some part of her always looked at Ginny as the outsider. She didn't want to be so selfish, she had shared some great girl bonding moments with her; Ron and Harry, however, were different. She had been through so much with them that in her immature teen years she thought Ginny shouldn't and couldn't compete.

She knew better now, realized that she had been unfair to Ginny a lot of times. More than anything else she realized that it was rather petty on her part to see Ginny as competition. She wasn't, she was someone Harry had literally put on a pedestal, at least that's how she felt when she saw him brooding on evenings like this.

She understood that he missed her, she would always have a spot for Ron in her heart too, but she had decided to let go of what couldn't be. She often wondered why Harry couldn't? Were his feelings for Ginny stronger than the ones she had nursed for Ron or was it just something that had become a part of who he was…

It wasn't vanity that made her wonder sometimes, if she could help him move on? It was just what people called her practical sense and logic. They had been friends for so long, they were the two people who were left behind, maybe they could build something for themselves together…

She knew he didn't make her heart flutter like Ron did? He didn't make her as mad as he did either! He was sweet and sensitive, but he had never been able to make her heart melt, they way Ron did with his silly grins. They could spend time together, they did almost every other week, it was always two lonely people just telling each other they were there, they gave each other comfort…not happiness. But, maybe that's how relationships were in real life, not everyone could have a fairytale romance…maybe if she allowed herself to, she could fall in love with him. He was someone she knew, trusted and loved already, right?

"You are awfully quiet today and that's saying a lot considering we don't usually have long animated conversations."

She looked up in the direction of her interruption, only to find him still staring at the cackling flames.

"I was thinking about something…" She answered slowly.

"Mhhmmm…what?" He asked in his typical distracted manner. She knew she had lost his attention already, probably to her yet again.

"Aren't you tired of living like this?" She decided to get straight to the point. She was tired of this and she wanted to know exactly where he stood!

"Like what?" He questioned back, finally turning to face her.

"This Harry! You were thinking about her again, right?"

"I am sorry, I didn't know I wasn't allowed to!" He bristled and she saw his eyes flash with defiant anger.

For a moment, she felt like backing out. She didn't want a row and she still found it hard to handle his sudden bursts of anger. But, it was now or never, she wanted to get some things out of her system, so she decided to plough on.

"She has moved on Harry…don't you think you should too?" She hadn't done it deliberately, but she found her tone had turned placating.

He didn't answer her immediately, but turned his attention back to the flames and she wondered if she had chosen the wrong time to have this discussion. But, then again, with Harry, there was probably never a right time for this.

"I tried to….you know I did…but I have made peace with the fact that I can't. Feelings don't just die…"

"Her feelings have!" She spat, she knew she shouldn't have sounded so venomous, but her anger and irritation with Ginny had only increased over time.

He squeezed his eyes shut and let out a deep breath, "It was my fault…I hurt her…"

If it wasn't for the sad silence that usually enveloped his flat, she wouldn't have heard his admission.

"And she didn't give you a chance to explain!"

She wondered now, why she had even started this discussion. This situation wasn't going to change; perhaps it was best if she pulled herself out it! But before she did that she wanted to shut this one door of hope.

"Don't you think you could have a better life, if you let go? We sit here like two fools, staring at these walls, lost in our own thoughts, neither of us is happy! They are gone! Both of them, they are living their lives and I am tired of being the one left behind…I…I want to live again too…like I should, like a woman my age should…" she trailed off, try as she might, she couldn't get herself to go on as she had planned to.

"Go on…move on…what's stopping you?"

Surprisingly, his words didn't hurt much, she felt a little disappointed for herself and sad for him, but that was it.

"I thought you always wanted a family Harry, what happened? You'll just let go of those dreams? She asked after a few moments of silence.

"I have a family, there's Teddy, Andromeda, You, Molly and of course Kreacher." He answered with a smile that as usual didn't reach his eyes.

"You know what I mean Harry…"

He didn't answer, but kept staring at his almost empty glass. Just when she thought their conversation was over, she heard him speak in a low wistful voice.

"You don't know what I had with her Hermione…I felt whole with her…all I had to do was to hold her close and I could feel at peace even during the worst times in my life…during the war she was my hope…"

"But, she is not here now Harry…."

"I know that…I am sorry Hermione it's easy for you to give all this advice about moving on because you don't know what it is like to have shared what I did with Ginny!" He started coldly, but made his tone softer almost immediately, perhaps he realized he had touched a raw nerve in her.

"I don't know much about romantic love, but whatever I do, I learnt from her. It's hard to let go of someone with whom you felt so complete…." He went quiet again and she wondered if that was going to be the end of this conversation, when he spoke again and this time with such sadness that she felt her heart break for him all over again.

"Maybe someday I will be ready to look for someone to replace her, but that's all she will be…a replacement. Right now I am not ready to do that…not to myself, not to anyone else…I don't know when and if I will be….I have stopped thinking about the future…"

He wouldn't say it directly, but these last words gave her the answer she was looking for. He would probably never get over Ginny, even if someday he decided to move on, and she would never want a man whose heart was somewhere else. She was done with pining for someone who wouldn't love her. In this case it didn't hurt so much because as much as she loved him, she was never as emotionally invested in him as she was in Ron.

At this point she only wished she could do something for him, wished Ginny would just give up whatever life she was leading and come back, wished the idiot girl could see how much he loved her!

"She'll come home this Christmas, talk to her."

"I tried to, remember? She never wrote back"

"A lot of time has passed since then, maybe she will listen now, you don't have anything to loose by trying do you?"

"Maybe…let's see if she decides not to flinch every time I get close to her…"

AN- Sorry, you won't see two AN's in other chapters, but there were just three more things I had to add. If it's not clear already, it will be H/G only, no H/HR. Second, I am still looking for a beta, so if anyone is interested please PM me. Third, the next update won't be before Jan.

PS- I love reviews and constructive criticism is always welcome:)