I woke up.
I was surrounded by a few men, all of them wearing lab coats. One of them was holding a clipboard as well. None of them seemed very nice, but time was yet to tell.
"Hello there," one of them said, bending over to reach eye level. "What is your name?" I didn't know what my name was, but I figured I might as well take a guess.
"Wheatley," I responded. It seemed like a good name. The men took a few glances at each other and the one with the clipboard wrote something down.
"Alright, Wheatley, we're going to ask you a few questions and then you'll be free to go, okay?" I wasn't too fond of the men, but if they were going to let me free then I figured I ought to do what they told me.
"Okay, right, go on then."
"What is the sum of two and two?" he asked. It was the first question and I was already stumped. I tried appliying all of my knowledge of mathematics, but I just didn't get it.
"Could you use it in a sentence?" I asked. The men laughed, and again, the one with the clipboard wrote something down.
"Nevermind. We're going to ask a different question now: what would be the easiest way to, say, hack into a computer network?" This was an easy one, which made me feel better.
"By guessing the password, right? I'm right, aren't I?" I was sure of it. But instead of telling me what I already knew, the man with the clipboard turned to his friends and showed them his notes.
"Yeah, I think we've done it," one of them said. He turned back to me again. "Okay, we're gonna let you go Wheatley, but one last thing. We've given you a few tools. A flashlight, a translator and the ability to convert pounds into grams. But if you EVER use them, you WILL die, you here me?" This worried me. I didn't want to die, I was happy living. But I didn't want to seem scared so I just casually nodded, trying to seem cool about it. The men seemed to ignore that though and began talking amongst themselves. Again.
"He's even stupider than we thought! A complete moron! There's no way this won't work on her". I didn't know who they were talking about, but I wasn't interested in that. I wasn't interested in anything they said because I didn't like them at all now. They called me a moron. I'm not a moron.