(AzT: *grumbles* Every story I write leaves my brain drained out of its
wits, and every time I finish at least one chapter, I'm sweating like
anything that waters. *puff puff* Well, all I can do is hope that it's
worth it.
Hey, now take it easy. This is my very first Snape story, but I'd like to give my wholehearted thanks to the person who gave me this crazy idea, Elven Josefine(Jo-SIE! You better update YOUR Snape story!)and everyone else, who, well, reads this and gives it even shit and flames(j/k, I still don't know anyone who goes that level).
Oh well. Cheers and enjoy ^_^.)
1 Prologue: Killing Me
Puffing gray steam from the enormous black chimney on top of the engine, the Hogwarts Express roared cheerfully, making heard its familiar rhythm from the tracks as it casually ran from fields to pastures molested by sheep and cows. Aside from the recognizable hooting of the whistle, the excited talking of students and the loud chattering of owls and meows of cats could be heard, even from a distance.
But someone in the end compartment wasn't making any noise. In that compartment sat a tall sixteen-year-old youth with wistful beetle-black eyes and greasy black hair, hidden under a blue cloth cap. And at this moment, this young man knew himself as the most low-down bastard in the world.
Severus Snape sighed, and gazed out the window at his bright surroundings, the complete opposite of what was inside of him. Even as the pale sunlight creeping through the glass of the compartment window tried to shine a little happiness into him, still he sank even deeper into his dark, desolate world. He never saw what was coming, and he never doubted that more would be coming for him sooner or later.
Not knowing what to do, he shut his eyes tightly and brought himself back to all the causes of his pain and isolation, one by one. He felt his heart tear apart as his mind flashed slowly through each of the fateful events that had sent him to pieces as soon as he knew it was true—his mother's cruel death…his father meeting up with his old master…being forced to join the realm of evil on penalty of death…
Severus could only grip his head, trying to rid himself of the hopelessness that was eating him up, and shut his mouth as tight as he could, suppressing a scream with all his strength.
"It's killing me…" he whispered hoarsely to himself. "It's killing me inside…"
Then, as if someone had shaken him hard to wake him up from a particularly horrible nightmare, he snapped back into the real world. Just regular old Severus, alone in the compartment as usual, just like every single year he ever came to Hogwarts.
Alone. And unloved.
But not for now. He suddenly was aware that someone had stepped into the compartment.
He turned around, and almost swore that what he looked straight in the eye was not human, but animal. But when he took his eyes off of her piercing ones, he realized that it was only a girl, most probably the same year as him but no doubt from a different house. The girl had golden-blonde hair past her shoulders, and she was of a thin but balanced figure. But what really caught Severus's attention were her eyes. He had never seen eyes that color on anyone, and he now knew why he had thought at first that this girl was some kind of lioness, staring him down with a steely gaze before jumping on him and tearing him to bits. Her eyes, exactly like a hungry lioness's, were a bright golden yellow, like her hair. And on her neck hung a white-string necklace with some kind of fang on it.
"Hello there. Seat taken?" she asked politely, pointing to the empty train couch across him. He shook his head.
"OK if I sit here? Everyone else is full." He nodded, and she parked her trunk at the very end and sat down.
The lioness-girl appeared to be quietly studying his eyes, his greasy jet- black hair, and his face, which if it had not been contorted into its usual scowl, would have actually looked handsome.
"Hey, I know you," said the girl. "I've seen you around. Aren't you the son of Cepheus Snape?"
Severus only nodded his head with the least possible movement. "Not a very common name, isn't it?" He shrugged, not sure if he wanted to prolong the conversation with someone he didn't even know.
"Yeah," said the girl. "Slytherin sixth year, right?"
"You seem to have read my bio back and forth," said Severus, not surprised in the remotest way.
The girl shrugged. "Not as if no one knows your name."
*They know my name,* Severus savagely thought to himself, *But who says they know ME?*
But to the girl, because there was nothing else to say, he asked for her name, House and year.
The girl grinned, reminding him even more of a lioness. He thought he saw something sharp between her very white, even teeth. "Lysandra Leonessa. Ravenclaw, same year as you, mate. But do me a favor and call me 'Fang.' Everyone does."
"Why do they call you Fang?" asked Severus, mildly interested. He was starting to really like this girl, for some strange reason he couldn't explain.
"Check these weird things out." She opened her mouth like a cat ready to bite, and Severus saw that the sharp thing-or things-that he had seen were two pairs of fangs, one on the upper part and one on the lower part. He remembered a picture of a vampire he had seen in one of his Defense against the Dark Arts class, who had almost the same fangs as the girl, but only sharper and more deadly. The fangs that he was looking at right now gave the impression of some wild, hungry jungle cat, ready to pounce on him.
2 "Whoa," he said halfheartedly. "Cool."
"Yeah. I've had these since I started at Hogwarts."
But she suddenly noticed the very glum look on his face. "What's up with you? You look like you've been run through by a runaway broomstick, heaven forbid."
"It's nothing," he muttered quickly, but from the tone of his voice and how fast he lied, it was more than obvious that something was definitely up with him.
"What do you mean, 'nothing'? Something's wrong, isn't it?"
Severus looked up at her, tired and exasperated.
"If I told you, you wouldn't understand."
She raised her eyebrow cockily. "Try me."
"Never mind," he said very coldly. "You must already know it, it's been all over the news for weeks."
The girl bowed her head. "The death of your mother."
"Yeah, that's it," he replied neutrally.
The bright light of her golden eyes disappeared. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault," he said in a strange voice.
"I shouldn't have brought it up anyway." She looked plain ashamed. Severus wanted to say that it was really OK, that he was actually thankful that someone paid him any sympathy for his mother, even if he didn't need it. But then again, that wasn't what any person would expect of Severus Snape. He felt he could probably trust her with a few secrets since she was being quite nice to him, but he continued in his usual harsh and icy tone.
"Do you know why my mother is dead?" he asked her.
She looked up, not knowing what to say, and shook her head.
"It was no accident. She was murdered. By my father."
Her eyes opened so wide in surprise that only a thin rim of gold was seen. "Why are you telling me this?"
"At least someone needs to know," he said, shrugging.
"I just need you to keep it a secret for a while."
She nodded, and sighed. "Hell, isn't it?"
"You got that right," said Severus. "My father ought to go to hell after how he killed my mother so cruelly."
The girl was silent for a while, then spoke in a whisper.
"That happened to me too, you know."
Severus looked up, very surprised. "Your mother…?!"
"Yeah," she said. "My father killed her when I got the Hogwarts letter. She never told him about it until before my first year. He allowed me to go to Hogwarts and stay with my mother's relatives because he hated me, and he killed my mother because he thought she had betrayed him. I hate him, too. That's why I use my mother's surname instead of my father's, because I'm so ashamed of him."
She sighed again, and Severus felt very sorry for her.
"Fuck, it must have been hard to live after that."
"Yeah," she said. "I heard from my cousin that my mom looked exactly like me, had the very same color of eyes. And for some strange reason, I grew a set of fangs when I was eleven, and didn't care to have them extracted."
Severus could only stare at her. He couldn't believe that he'd actually found someone who knew what he was going through.
"And it still feels so bad," she said, very softly. "It's killing me…killing me inside."
Severus drew a deep breath.
"I guess we're both going through the same thing, huh?"
"Yeah," she said, smiling absently. "Isn't that funny?"
"Yeah," said Severus, now grinning. "In a weird way."
He held out his hand to her.
"So are we friends?" he asked tentatively.
Fang's face broke into a wide grin, and she took it. "Yeah. Friends."
(AzT: Whew. Well, that's that. By the way, I kind of sneaked the summary on Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I'm torn between wanting to believe it or not, but I got the name Lysandra Leonessa from that (she's supposedly *bleep!*), so I'm not even that sure if I'm making Fang up. Oh well. I hope that turned out OK.
Cheers,
---AzT)
Hey, now take it easy. This is my very first Snape story, but I'd like to give my wholehearted thanks to the person who gave me this crazy idea, Elven Josefine(Jo-SIE! You better update YOUR Snape story!)and everyone else, who, well, reads this and gives it even shit and flames(j/k, I still don't know anyone who goes that level).
Oh well. Cheers and enjoy ^_^.)
1 Prologue: Killing Me
Puffing gray steam from the enormous black chimney on top of the engine, the Hogwarts Express roared cheerfully, making heard its familiar rhythm from the tracks as it casually ran from fields to pastures molested by sheep and cows. Aside from the recognizable hooting of the whistle, the excited talking of students and the loud chattering of owls and meows of cats could be heard, even from a distance.
But someone in the end compartment wasn't making any noise. In that compartment sat a tall sixteen-year-old youth with wistful beetle-black eyes and greasy black hair, hidden under a blue cloth cap. And at this moment, this young man knew himself as the most low-down bastard in the world.
Severus Snape sighed, and gazed out the window at his bright surroundings, the complete opposite of what was inside of him. Even as the pale sunlight creeping through the glass of the compartment window tried to shine a little happiness into him, still he sank even deeper into his dark, desolate world. He never saw what was coming, and he never doubted that more would be coming for him sooner or later.
Not knowing what to do, he shut his eyes tightly and brought himself back to all the causes of his pain and isolation, one by one. He felt his heart tear apart as his mind flashed slowly through each of the fateful events that had sent him to pieces as soon as he knew it was true—his mother's cruel death…his father meeting up with his old master…being forced to join the realm of evil on penalty of death…
Severus could only grip his head, trying to rid himself of the hopelessness that was eating him up, and shut his mouth as tight as he could, suppressing a scream with all his strength.
"It's killing me…" he whispered hoarsely to himself. "It's killing me inside…"
Then, as if someone had shaken him hard to wake him up from a particularly horrible nightmare, he snapped back into the real world. Just regular old Severus, alone in the compartment as usual, just like every single year he ever came to Hogwarts.
Alone. And unloved.
But not for now. He suddenly was aware that someone had stepped into the compartment.
He turned around, and almost swore that what he looked straight in the eye was not human, but animal. But when he took his eyes off of her piercing ones, he realized that it was only a girl, most probably the same year as him but no doubt from a different house. The girl had golden-blonde hair past her shoulders, and she was of a thin but balanced figure. But what really caught Severus's attention were her eyes. He had never seen eyes that color on anyone, and he now knew why he had thought at first that this girl was some kind of lioness, staring him down with a steely gaze before jumping on him and tearing him to bits. Her eyes, exactly like a hungry lioness's, were a bright golden yellow, like her hair. And on her neck hung a white-string necklace with some kind of fang on it.
"Hello there. Seat taken?" she asked politely, pointing to the empty train couch across him. He shook his head.
"OK if I sit here? Everyone else is full." He nodded, and she parked her trunk at the very end and sat down.
The lioness-girl appeared to be quietly studying his eyes, his greasy jet- black hair, and his face, which if it had not been contorted into its usual scowl, would have actually looked handsome.
"Hey, I know you," said the girl. "I've seen you around. Aren't you the son of Cepheus Snape?"
Severus only nodded his head with the least possible movement. "Not a very common name, isn't it?" He shrugged, not sure if he wanted to prolong the conversation with someone he didn't even know.
"Yeah," said the girl. "Slytherin sixth year, right?"
"You seem to have read my bio back and forth," said Severus, not surprised in the remotest way.
The girl shrugged. "Not as if no one knows your name."
*They know my name,* Severus savagely thought to himself, *But who says they know ME?*
But to the girl, because there was nothing else to say, he asked for her name, House and year.
The girl grinned, reminding him even more of a lioness. He thought he saw something sharp between her very white, even teeth. "Lysandra Leonessa. Ravenclaw, same year as you, mate. But do me a favor and call me 'Fang.' Everyone does."
"Why do they call you Fang?" asked Severus, mildly interested. He was starting to really like this girl, for some strange reason he couldn't explain.
"Check these weird things out." She opened her mouth like a cat ready to bite, and Severus saw that the sharp thing-or things-that he had seen were two pairs of fangs, one on the upper part and one on the lower part. He remembered a picture of a vampire he had seen in one of his Defense against the Dark Arts class, who had almost the same fangs as the girl, but only sharper and more deadly. The fangs that he was looking at right now gave the impression of some wild, hungry jungle cat, ready to pounce on him.
2 "Whoa," he said halfheartedly. "Cool."
"Yeah. I've had these since I started at Hogwarts."
But she suddenly noticed the very glum look on his face. "What's up with you? You look like you've been run through by a runaway broomstick, heaven forbid."
"It's nothing," he muttered quickly, but from the tone of his voice and how fast he lied, it was more than obvious that something was definitely up with him.
"What do you mean, 'nothing'? Something's wrong, isn't it?"
Severus looked up at her, tired and exasperated.
"If I told you, you wouldn't understand."
She raised her eyebrow cockily. "Try me."
"Never mind," he said very coldly. "You must already know it, it's been all over the news for weeks."
The girl bowed her head. "The death of your mother."
"Yeah, that's it," he replied neutrally.
The bright light of her golden eyes disappeared. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault," he said in a strange voice.
"I shouldn't have brought it up anyway." She looked plain ashamed. Severus wanted to say that it was really OK, that he was actually thankful that someone paid him any sympathy for his mother, even if he didn't need it. But then again, that wasn't what any person would expect of Severus Snape. He felt he could probably trust her with a few secrets since she was being quite nice to him, but he continued in his usual harsh and icy tone.
"Do you know why my mother is dead?" he asked her.
She looked up, not knowing what to say, and shook her head.
"It was no accident. She was murdered. By my father."
Her eyes opened so wide in surprise that only a thin rim of gold was seen. "Why are you telling me this?"
"At least someone needs to know," he said, shrugging.
"I just need you to keep it a secret for a while."
She nodded, and sighed. "Hell, isn't it?"
"You got that right," said Severus. "My father ought to go to hell after how he killed my mother so cruelly."
The girl was silent for a while, then spoke in a whisper.
"That happened to me too, you know."
Severus looked up, very surprised. "Your mother…?!"
"Yeah," she said. "My father killed her when I got the Hogwarts letter. She never told him about it until before my first year. He allowed me to go to Hogwarts and stay with my mother's relatives because he hated me, and he killed my mother because he thought she had betrayed him. I hate him, too. That's why I use my mother's surname instead of my father's, because I'm so ashamed of him."
She sighed again, and Severus felt very sorry for her.
"Fuck, it must have been hard to live after that."
"Yeah," she said. "I heard from my cousin that my mom looked exactly like me, had the very same color of eyes. And for some strange reason, I grew a set of fangs when I was eleven, and didn't care to have them extracted."
Severus could only stare at her. He couldn't believe that he'd actually found someone who knew what he was going through.
"And it still feels so bad," she said, very softly. "It's killing me…killing me inside."
Severus drew a deep breath.
"I guess we're both going through the same thing, huh?"
"Yeah," she said, smiling absently. "Isn't that funny?"
"Yeah," said Severus, now grinning. "In a weird way."
He held out his hand to her.
"So are we friends?" he asked tentatively.
Fang's face broke into a wide grin, and she took it. "Yeah. Friends."
(AzT: Whew. Well, that's that. By the way, I kind of sneaked the summary on Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I'm torn between wanting to believe it or not, but I got the name Lysandra Leonessa from that (she's supposedly *bleep!*), so I'm not even that sure if I'm making Fang up. Oh well. I hope that turned out OK.
Cheers,
---AzT)