Waitin'
Author's Note: This is a one shot that would take place in New Moon when Edward's still gone. If you don't like Jacob, don't comment on how much you hate him. I'm an Edward fan myself, but I have no problem with Jacob. Review, por favor. Oh, and you should really listen to the song Waitin' by Landon Austin also rather than just reading the lyrics. The link is in my profile.
I walked to my comforting truck, cringing at the thought of what I had just endured. In gym I had managed to kick the soccer ball, or rather trip into it, hitting Mike and bouncing off to hit me back in the face. My face had immediately turned red, not just from the pain. Mike continued an endless string of apologies until the bell saved me. I had to keep on assuring him that it was my own fault and not his.
As I climbed into the cab of my truck, I heard one last sorry and decided to ignore it. I was so glad it was Friday. Two days off from gym was exactly what I needed, and I knew where I wanted to spend them.
When I got home, I found a message on the phone. I automatically listened to it and smiled as I heard my personal sun's voice. "Hey Bella, could you call when you get this? You really need to come to La Push." I frowned a bit. Could there be a problem?
I immediately dialed his number and waited through one ring. "Hey Bella," Billy's voice answered. From the background I could hear Jake get up and convince Billy to give him the phone.
I chuckled, "Hey Billy. How are you?"
I could hear the amusement in his voice, "Well, right now Jake is glaring at me, so I could be better." I could hear a snort and then Jacob's voice greeted me.
"Hey Bells."
I smiled involuntarily. "Hey Jake. You called?"
"Yeah, I just wanted to know if you were coming today."
"Of course, I'm leaving right now," I replied as I wrote a note out to Charlie, telling him I'd be in La Push.
I could hear the smile in his voice. "Okay, see you Bells."
"Bye Jacob."
By the time I cut my engine, Jake was already out the door, grinning as he opened my door and took my hand in his warm one.
"How was your day?" He asked.
"Ugh," I shivered, "I've had better." His laugh greeted me with that response. I glared at him, but he only shrugged. I decided to change the subject, "So why you'd have to call me?"
His face displayed a little discomfort. "Well," he started, "I wasn't quite sure if you'd come after last time. And I have to talk to you."
I winced. "Is it that bad?"
His warm hands caught my face. "Oh no, Bella. It's not bad at all. I just think you should know something." I traced no doubt in his voice, so I chose to believe him and smiled.
"Alright then, so what's on the agenda for today?" I asked as we continued to walk.
"I was thinking we could just stay in the shed today." I nodded and he seemed relieved I didn't object. We entered the familiar makeshift shed. I took a seat in his Rabbit and looked up, expecting to catch his face, but he wasn't there. I turned and found him with an acoustic guitar in his hands.
"What the—?"
"Bella, I know you've been hurt and I want you to know I would never hurt you. Never. I'm not expecting much from you, but I think you should be happy and know I'm here for you. If you want me, you can have me. If you need me as a friend, I'll be your friend. If you need me as more, heck, I'll be more. I'm willing to let you heal more, for as long as you need. Never doubt that I'm here for you." He started strumming the guitar, playing around with it.
"Jake, do you know what you're doing?" I asked warily, staring at the guitar in his hands. He merely laughed.
"I do admit, I'm not that good." And that was all he said before he started actually playing and singing.
Where you're at is where I'll be
You're sitting beneath those big tall trees in the yard
outside your front door
The sun goes down you start looking around
you're waitin for something, I pray to God it's me
That would be so great
Cause I'm falling in love with you
His voice was a bit husky, but it sounded beautiful. His head was facing down. I wasn't sure what to think, though. I could never love him the same way I did Edward. Sure, I had grown used to his face, his warmth, his laughter, his voice.
And I would wait for you
Even if it's the last thing I ever do for you
The sun goes down in your eyes
Just open up and realize I would never leave your side
I would wait for you
I remembered the times we sat at our tree and talked. The beach flashed before my eyes, us walking down it with our hands wrapped in each others. I could love him, couldn't I? Did I already?
You make sure to wave at the people who pass on by
You're the first to say hello but you never say goodbye
You could sit all day and listen
Your face your smile
It makes you glisten
And oh you give me a brighter day
Jacob, my personal sun, my best friend, the only one who gets me, the only one I can truly be myself around, the one I love spending my time with—could I feel the same for him? Or would this merely hurt me—or worse, him?
And I would wait for you
Even if it's the last thing I ever do for you
The sun goes down in your eyes
Just open up and realize I would never leave your side
I would wait for you
I realized I was staring down at my hands, wringing them while he sang. I moved my eyes back at him. He looked up at me at the same time and smiled while he played the bridge. He didn't give himself enough credit for what he did. I shyly smiled back at him, and I heard his warm laugh before he continued singing again, forcing his head back down.
You wait outside
You got those big brown eyes
And I love your smile
As you're waitin outside for me
And you sit beneath those trees
I felt selfish and torn. I wanted to keep him around me, but I didn't know if I felt the same way he did, if I could. He said he could keep me as a friend, but in hope that I'd want him as more. He was much too good for me.
And I would wait for you
Even if it's the last thing I ever do for you
The sun goes down in your eyes
Just open up and realize I would never leave your side
I would wait for you
I would wait for you
I would wait for you
On the last line he picked his head back up and kept my eyes with his. His strumming stopped, and he gently placed the guitar down. "Are you crying?" He whispered, concerned, as he moved closer to me. I shook my head, but sure enough, I could feel the wetness in my eyes. He took my face in his hands and wiped away a tear with his thumb before pressing his warm lips to my forehead and hugging me. "I'm sorry."
"No, don't be. It was great—you're great. It's just, I don't think I'm ready. I'm sorry."
He held me at arm's length to stare into my eyes and speak with intense sincerity. "Bells, don't apologize. It's not your fault you've been hurt. I'm willing to wait forever, and even if it never happens, I'll still be fine just being able to make you smile. Don't ever feel you're obligated to be anything more than a friend to me."
I nodded meekly, and once again he embraced me. "Jacob Black, you truly are my best friend."