Amy drained the bottle, enjoying the dizziness and disconnection from her emotions. Slamming the bottle down on a nearby table she found herself slightly unsteady on her feet. But who gives a fuck. None of this matters, the girl that tried to talk to her at the bar was hot but she didn't matter, Shane attempting to hit on some guy didn't matter, the emptiness her heart was feeling shouldn't matter either but it still killed her. Even when she was drunk and felt nothing else it was still there, the hurt and the pain over all of it. As built up as it was, losing her virginity didn't matter to her it was dizzy and vague and physically it felt okay but it wasn't the moment.
The moment everyone had talked about since they learned what sex was, the magical and romantic night and the dream of losing your stupid fucking purity to someone who is your whole world and someone who loves you. It's all bullshit. All through it she kept thinking about that one moment when Karma's head was on her shoulder, saying she wanted to have sex with someone who loved her and how she had fucking hoped it would be her, god knows she loved Karma. And her heart hurt at the thought of Karma doing the same as her, but being completely into it. Love fucking sucks but what the hell does it matter in the end? The pain of the soul crushing moment washed back into her mind, so she drowned it in alcohol.
Leaning heavily against the bar for support she felt soft hands on her back, steadying her. She felt hope leak into the empty hole in her heart when she turned and faced Lauren.
"Okay like I know all of this shit is going on but you're gonna do something fucking stupid if you keep doing this every other night. You literally reek of alcohol." Lauren's voice broke through Amy's mind as she found herself dragged towards the exit.
"W-Why do you care?" The words were clumsy and slurred out of her mouth.
"Because I actually have feelings," The look Amy gave her was full of doubt and mistrust, "but if you need me to be completely bitchy and selfish all the time then I need someone else too, and that person needs to be more put together than you are now. There are better ways of dealing with this shit Amy." Lauren's sharp and sarcastic tone softened at the last sentence. Numbly Amy nodded and got into Lauren's car.
Until she was left alone in bed, having been treated like a small child by an impatient Lauren, God that girl was not suited to helping drunks, she kept the tears in. Until she curled up into the pillow and let the tears stream down her face freely and whispered into the night, "I just want her."
Really short I know but I just wanted to see if anyone was interested in the idea of this?