Aftershock
Disclaimer: Paramount Owns Enterprise and all of its crew. The cast of Enterprise owns the wonderful interpretation of these characters. The fun of writing this story about these characters is owned by me and is no way intended to infringe on any of these rights and is done without payment or profit on my part.
AngstA follow up to Similtude.
How did Trip feel after he found out about what had happened while he was in a coma.
Trip rang the chime on Archer's ready room and waited for the invitation to enter. It was almost 21:00 and he had told T'Pol that he would meet in her quarters for a therapy session, but first he needed to talk to the Captain.
Yesterday had been so bewildering. It was bazaar seeing an exact replica of yourself in a coffin ready to be shot into eternity. For a moment he thought he was going to faint, but Hoshi had stood next to him and seeing him stagger had grabbed his hand and held it. It was enough to give him strength to last through the ceremony.
The funeral for Sim had left him unnerved; so many questions hadn't been answered when he had first awoken in sickbay. Phlox had filled him in with the basic medical information of what had happened, but when he had attended the funeral, he knew a lot more had gone on than what he was being told. Everyone there had looked so depressed, as if they'd lost a friend. Even the captain had looked shattered as he had given the eulogy and it upset Trip for John had hardly taken the time to visit him more than once after he had awoken from the coma.
Trip wanted answers and he had found them from different people giving him bits and pieces. He had also realized what it had cost the captain. Making a life and death decision like that must have torn him apart. Trip knew Jon had done it for the good of all, but it would probably haunt him forever knowing the captain the way he did. But then again Jon had changed, maybe now with all that had gone on it might not bother him in the least. The Captain Archer Trip knew now was a driven and ruthless man, obsessed with finding the Xindi and stopping them.
The door opened and Trip stepped inside. He was still shocked by Archer's appearance. He seemed cold and indifferent, not his friend that he'd know for 10years. Jon also looked tired and his face was drawn as if he hadn't slept.
Maybe I was right in my first assessment. It really is bothering him.
Trip wasn't sure where to begin.
"Capt'n, mind if I speak freely, Sir?"
Archer looked closely at him for a moment as if trying to decide whether he really wanted to hear what Trip had to say. He finally leaned back in his chair and nodded.
Not even a smile from him to break the ice.
Trip chose to stand to say what he had prepared. "I know about Sim, and what you all went through trying to save me. I want to say that I really appreciate it."
Archer just stared at him with a cool look, thoughtful, as if trying to read between Trip's words for any hidden meaning. It was unnerving, but Trip continued.
"I'm sorry I didn't get to meet him," he tried to smile, "I'm sure I would have liked him."
Archer still stared at him and said nothing.
Trip was determined to get this out. "I know it was a hard decision for you to make, Capt'n, and I don't know what I would have done under those circumstances."
Archer looked down for a second as if trying to decide what to say to the man before him that he had helped Phlox bring back from death's door.
"We needed you, Trip, not a copy. Enterprise needed you to help fulfill her mission here and stop the Xindi. There was no other choice from the beginning. I only did what I had to do. Sim realized this in the end and he sacrificed himself to save you just as he was meant to." Even to Archer his own words sounded cold and unfeeling.
Trip's face paled before him, and Archer realized he had said the wrong thing.
"You're too important to Engineering to let something happen to you," he tried to stress and it still wasn't having the right effect on the man before him.
"Capt'n, will all due respect, there are other engineers that could carry on."
Trip just wanted to leave; this wasn't what he expected at all. He didn't know what he had expected Jon to say, just that it wasn't this.
Archer looked at Trip closely for the first time since they had entered the Expanse. The man before him still had that same exhausted look he had before the accident and Archer doubted that would change anytime soon.
"They're not you, Trip," he said softly.
Trip nodded in acceptance trying to find a way out of this discussion
"I have to meet with T'Pol, Capt'n. She's expecting me for a session."
"Still not sleeping?"
"Yes."
Trip didn't want to explain that his nightmare last night was about him being the one that was in the coffin as they closed the lid down. It was still vividly real in his mind and had terrified him.
Trip tried to smile and turned to leave, but stopped at the door just before it opened.
Trip had to say it,
"Capt'n," he turned to look at Jon.
Archer looked up at him.
"I'm not irreplaceable. " Trip said it sadly, he knew it was true and had wanted to say it.
Archer stared at him for a moment, then with a sincere and sad smile answered him.
"You are to me."
Trip smiled and nodded shyly in that embarrassed way he had when people complimented him. It meant a lot to him coming from Jon and confirmed that they were still friends.
"Thanks, Capt'n."
Then he left.
Archer watched the door close and continued to smile to himself. Glad that finally he was able to be honest with Trip as well as himself and admit why he had made the decision to use Sim.
Truth was that he would have done anything to save his best friend.
For Archer knew,
his heart would have broken if it had been Trip in that coffin and not Sim.
End :)