Please Don't Leave Me, an avatar: last airbender fanfic

A/N: This is my first Zutara fanfic, second fanfic ever, and first ever songfic, please be nice. Oh and review, reviews are always good.

Song is Please Don't Leave Me by P!nk. Right now she is my favorite artist.

I don't know if I could yell any louder

How many times have I kicked you out of here?

Or said something insulting?

I can be so mean when I wanna be

I am capable of really anything

I can cut you into pieces

When my heart is broken

Zuko had joined the gang, despite my fervent protests. The pain of his betrayal at Ba Sing Se was still fresh in my mind and my chest still hollow from where he ripped my heart out after I offered him my trust and extended my friendship and compassion.

I was determined to make his life hell.

And it scared me. I didn't know I could be such a bitch.

I lost count of how many times my temper flared and my voice rose to dangerously high decibels, of the times he made me say things I didn't mean things that I never meant to say. I hated the way the hurt and shame danced through his molten gold eyes, eyes like the sun. But what I hated most was the way that look affected me, the way it broke my heart again.

I cut the vegetables in front of all the more violently as the image of his harsh face softened by empathy and understand bathed in the unnatural green light of the caves surfaced in my mind. I was vaguely aware of Aang approaching. It wasn't until he spoke that I really acknowledged his presence, with a water whip, I didn't want anyone near me at the moment. A welt appeared just below his eye.

Guilt shot through my already torn heart, quickly turning to anger as my eyes found a familiar pair of gold eyes. I turned on him, the water in the small clearing rising dangerously in my anger.

"It's all your fault," I hissed. His eyes widened as they took in his surroundings. I giggled in delight as he shifted nervously looking for an escape. Without warning all the water in the clearing came crashing down around the offending firebender and before anyone could say anything I ran.

I couldn't stand their looks of disgust, they didn't understand, they hadn't been there, they hadn't extended their trust only to have it thrown back in their face. The only person who could possibly understand how I felt would probably be his uncle, he betrayed him just as much if not more than me.

I didn't know where I was going only that I needed to get away.

I soon found that I followed the gentle pull of the water and ended up at a spring. When I looked around I didn't recognize my surroundings. For a moment fear ran through my veins but I shook it off, Toph would know if something was wrong.

The water promised comfort and acceptance. I removed the travel stained firenation clothes and dived into the spring.

Please don't leave me

I always say how I don't need you

But it's always gonna come right back to this

Please don't leave me

Memories surfaced with the calming touch of the water preventing me from shoving them away. I saw the scene under Ba Sing Se all over again, I was so close to healing his scare, so close to healing him. If I'd healed him would things have gone differently? Would he have stood with us? A few tears found their way down my cheeks despite my protests that I shouldn't cry for him. He didn't deserve it.

I saw him look at Azula fire burning in his hand. His gold eyes were hard as he turned first to Aang than to me. His eyes softened slightly, my heart screamed silently, "Please don't leave me," its insistent pleas went unheard by both of us as Zuko turned back to Aang, the fire dancing sinisterly in his hand. For a moment everything stopped, as if awaiting his decision. Then flame licked greedily through the air towards Aang.

I tried to protect him, but my attention was drawn back to my opponents, but not before a single word tore itself from my lips, full of all the betrayal and anger that tore through my heart and veins like the fire he was in command of, "Why?" I asked quietly, yet the power behind the word carried over the clamor of battle and reached Zuko, he turned to me sadly and looked lost.

Then fire filled my vision. Without conscious effort water cocooned me. A hiss of steam filled the air. Followed by yet another. I didn't want to remember. Remembering renewed the pain that I shouldn't feel.

I knew that I couldn't really hate Zuko, no matter how hard I tried. I knew the reason his betrayal hurt so much, I knew why my heart felt like it was ripped apart. But I would never admit it. I couldn't admit it. He already hurt me once, so why give him another opening?

But still I knew the truth. The words escaped my mouth before I could stop them, "Why did you leave, I loved you." I wasn't mad at him I was mad at myself, I was pissed, actually. I was at one point mad at him, but I'd quickly forgiven him, my heart, or what was left of it, couldn't stand to be made at him.

I didn't want to admit it, but he occupied my every thought, in some way or another, he was there in my mind, always just out of reach. I knew that I needed him in much the same way a flower needs the sun to bloom. But I was never going to admit it. And it killed me.

I always said words I didn't mean, trying to keep him at bay. But what no one knew was that after every one of our fights I go off and cry alone. How could they understand? They'd feel betrayed.

But I couldn't change it. No matter how many times I pushed him away, I always wanted him to come back to me. I never wanted him to actually leave.

How did I become so obnoxious?

What is it with you that makes me act like this?

I've never been this nasty

My tears fell freely, being absorbed by the water surrounding me. I looked at my reflection in the smooth surface of the water. What changed me? When was it that I was able to say things that I didn't mean? Say things that hurt someone so much?

I loved him. So why was I so bratty? Why was it that every time I saw him my dark side came out?

I couldn't understand it. Why did he always say or do the wrong things? Why did he always push my buttons?

I was never this way before.

I whispered a question, quietly to the sun, "What is it about him that makes me act like this?"

I got no answer, and knew I wouldn't. I sighed heavily before turning to head back to camp. I'd been gone for a few hours.

Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?

The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest

But baby I don't mean it

I mean it

I promise

Anger boiled through my blood again. It wasn't entirely Zuko's… my fault this time. Sokka started it, the idiot. He of course was telling a story about my 'magic water'. Yeah, I wanted to kill him. He was embarrassing, but more than that he made Zuko's gold eyes dance with laughter, at my expense.

Well needless to say, I doused all of them in water. I only froze Zuko and Sokka though. Sokka deserved it, Zuko not so much, but I didn't care. He melted the ice around him, his gold eyes turning to me, narrowed into a glare. "What the hell is your problem?" he yelled fire licking his arms.

"You," I answered coldly. Not meaning it but at the same time I did. I was pissed that he thought it was funny that I struggled to teach myself waterbending and that I even stole to learn how.

"Why? What have I done to earn your wrath?" he asked in exasperation the fire dying down.

"How could you possibly ask that?" I yelled throwing the water I sensed around me at him. I turned on my heel to leave only to be stopped by fire dancing across my path. I made a move to put it out, but Toph sealed me in rock preventing the movements needed for bending.

"Sugar Queen, you're not going anywhere, not until you and Sparky here work things out," Toph said menacingly.

I sighed in resignation; no one was as stubborn as that earthbender. I wanted to whine and ask if I had to, but I had my dignity to uphold so I bit my tongue and instead said, "Only if he behaves."

Toph rolled her eyes, but released me. By this time I could tell Zuko was seething, I only had to push a few buttons and there'd be a fight. I kind of wanted to fight him even if it was noon. I was confident that I could beat him, even if he was at his strongest.

The rest of the gaang left us alone, 'to settle our differences' as Aang put it, forever the peace marker.

After I was sure they were gone I turned to see Zuko looking at me. Something in his gold eyes made me uneasy. I snapped at him, "What?"

He just shook his head sadly, "Why do you insist on hating me?"

"Firenation prince," I responded, "As simple as that." I lied. It was anything but, I didn't hate him, nor was it simple and it definitely had nothing to do with the fact that he was firenation, or their prince.

"You can't hold me accountable for the actions of the nation that banished me," he said softly, his golden eyes filled with pain.

"Can't I?" I asked just as softly. I could blame him for anything, he was an easy scapegoat. "You betrayed us," me I amended only to myself. "For as long as we've known you, you've chased Aang for your nonexistent honor, no firebender has honor," I said knowing that it was below the belt. "And among thieves and rapist, you are the least honorable. Your father hates you because of it." I said, I didn't mean it. How could I when I loved him?

I didn't have time to regret what I said before I had to draw water in front of me to block the coming barrage of fire. For a moment I was surprised to see tears shine in his gold eyes. I wanted to make it stop. I wanted to make this stop.

But pride wouldn't allow it.

We were both nursing a bruised ego, and pain that we'd shared with no one but each other.

I was torn out of my guilt by another attack of dancing fire. I smiled grimly, so that was how he wanted to play it. I called out my full power. I wasn't going to bloodbend I refused to, but I would use every other weapon in my arsenal. Water rose from the ground around him freezing around his feet. While he directed his attention to his trapped feet I, unnoticed as I was, drew all the water from our surroundings and wrapped it around him, freezing it.

The resulting glacier would take years to chip away. I left feeling smug, I'd won. My attack was the strongest.

I ran away.

Please don't leave me

I always say how I don't need you

But it's always gonna come right back to this

Please don't leave me

Once again I found myself in the spring, water gently lapping against my body as I forced myself once again to watch through the memories of pain and betrayal. It started with Ba Sing Se that was when I first realized that I loved him.

I bent the water around me, into a cocoon, protecting me from the pain. I succumbed to the pain in my heart. I knew why I chose to trap him in ice. It was simply because I didn't want him to leave. Quietly I whispered, "Don't leave me again," the words being swallowed by the water. The tears escape down my cheeks for the third time this week blending with the fresh water of the spring. By the time this war was over I wouldn't be surprised if the spring became salty with my tears.

Voices called for me and reluctantly I left the underwater world and headed back to camp.

I forgot to say out loud

How beautiful you really are to me

I can't be without

You're my perfect little punching bag

And I need you

I'm sorry

When I arrived at camp I was alone, well almost alone. Zuko was still frozen in the ice his gold eyes staring at the place I had been standing in shock and something else, hurt almost. Knowing he couldn't hear me I told him how beautiful I thought his eyes were I had always meant to tell him how beautiful I thought he was. I felt a little better saying the words that I'd kept hidden in my heart.

I started to make dinner, but felt unnerved with the frozen Zuko staring at nothing. I melted the ice imprisoning him and was greeted with a spluttered curse and steam boiling off him. He glared at me for a moment then he noticed something and concern melted his irises changing them from hard topaz to liquid gold. Something burned behind them that disturbed me slightly.

He did something that I'd never expected. He prostrated himself, his forehead touching the ground and apologized.

I laughed. It was so strange seeing our once enemy begging for forgiveness from me. Anger boiled through my blood. How dare he beg for forgiveness when he had caused so much hurt? I, without thinking, acted.

I reached out to the pulsing water that traveled through his veins. I didn't mean to, I really didn't but I found his heart and squeezed. I heard a gasp of pain and his gold eyes found mine. His eyes reflected pain and fear. I dropped my hold on his blood in horror.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I murmured in horror, my hands flying up to covering my mouth as tears made their way down my cheeks. I couldn't believe I'd just done that, I needed him. I knew that I did. Over the weeks he'd became an important part of the group. He helped to lessen my load but more than that, he'd weaseled his way into my heart until he became part of it.

Please, please don't leave me

Please don't leave me

I always say how I don't need you

But it's always gonna come right back to this

Please don't leave me

The quiet plea of my heart finally escaped and reached the ears of the person it was meant for, "Please don't leave me?" it was a question in its hesitation. His gold eyes met mine with surprise. He wrapped me in a hug and apologized, even though it was I who should be saying sorry.

Please don't leave me

I always say how I don't need you

But it's always gonna come right back to this

Please, please don't leave me

In desperation I gripped him tighter. For that one moment I was willing to forget everything that he'd done to us, to me, and revealed in the warm comfort his arms offered me. I repeated over and over again the chant of "Please don't leave me," into his shoulder, as the tears rode down my cheeks, for him, for my mother, for my father, for Aang, for those who were dear to me and he just held me tighter as if to say he'd always be there.

Please Don't Leave Me