This is in response to Bonnie's challenge. If you like it/if you hate it; either way it's Bonnie's fault! ;-) I promised myself that I would accept the next challenge given and wrote this in less than 2 hours. (does it show)? Please, let me know!

***You've just been given detention and it's being spent with Severus

(oh yeah!) it lasts for an hour, what does he have you doing and how

do you avoid it?***

*******************************************

Usual disclaimers. Snape belongs to JK Rowling. Maggie belongs to me.

Non-canon Snape.

No animals were injured in the process of filming.

***

"Miss Strasser! 10 points from Ravenclaw for being late to my class. Now, take your seat"!

"Hey! I told you that I had CRAMPS! I. Don't. Feel. Good!!"

"Then you and your 'female problems' will feel even worse", Snape jeered. "Detention. After class. In my office". Snape turned away but not before everyone noticed the self-satisfied look on his face.

"Ew, Maggie, do you really have cramps?", her friend and cauldron partner Patty inquired.

"Of course not. But I'm not going to let the stupid git know that I was outside sneaking a cigarette with Fred and George. Let him think I'm on the rag forever".

"You bitch! Save at least one of the twins for me".

"May I start class now or do you two wish to continue this conversation? I can wait". Maggie and Patty looked over their shoulders to find Snape leaning down over them, listening to their every word. Maggie hated him like this, sneaking up behind them with no noise, being extra polite. It was his immense politeness that made her blood run cold. He was a terror when angry and yelling; he was pure evil when quiet and polite. Still she couldn't control herself. "Thank you for asking, Professor. We're quite done now, you may carry on with your lesson" and she smiled sweetly at him.

Snape smiled right back. "Double detention."

***

Maggie made her way to Professor's Snape's office, whistling while she strode down the long, dank hallway. Part of her was scared witless of Snape yet, for some reason, he also brought out the worst in her in that she couldn't stop mouthing off to him. She liked seeing how far his buttons could be pressed before he exploded.

Snape met her at the door and placed a locking spell on it so no one could get in. Seeing the way he was dressed, Maggie could understand why. He had on a black satin robe trimmed with bright orange, white fuzzy slippers on his feet. Worst of all, Maggie noticed bottles of shampoos, conditioners, lotions, nail polish, everything a lady would need for preparing for a night on the town. Her blood ran so cold that it froze. Maggie did not use make-up at all. Never bothered with the perfumed lotions or fancy shampoos; it was just wash with whatever and out the door with a quick brush to the hair. Nothing else, make-up wise.

"No", Maggie whimpered. "Please Professor, don't make me do this; I am SO Sorry. I'll never be late, I'll never speak out of turn, I promise. PLEASE don't give me a make over!"

Snape advanced on her. "Silly girl. This is for ME. This is your punishment. You will attend to me. You will wash and style my hair, paint my nails. You will make me pretty! I have a date tonight". And Snape smiled at her again, sweetly. So sweetly, Maggie fainted.

One wave of his wand revived her. "Hey, Professor, that's a great idea! Why don't you just wave your wand and you'll be ready to go out presto-chango".

"Presto-Chango?" Snape's tone was flat. "What is that a new spell I've never heard of?" He stood there, blinking at Maggie. "No. Punishment you deserve and punished you will be. Tend to me. Now."

Snape settled himself down in a wide leather chair positioned in front of the sink. Silver faucets in the shape of snakes entwined to meet in the middle; the water knobs were in the shapes of Drama and Comedy, the Theatre masks. Another snake, a black one, was the water sprayer. Maggie desperately looked around for help, for a means of escape; for gloves. All she found was a fairly new-looking toilet brush.

"Hey, Professor, I'll massage your head a bit as I wash your hair". She correctly assumed that Drama was hot water, Comedy was cold and proceeded to wet his hair with the water spray without actually touching him. Maggie picked up a bottle of shampoo (Bewitching Wizards and Healthy Hags Magical 'Poo Potion) and squirted some onto Snape's black mane. She picked up the toilet brush but before it got near his head Snape calmly stated "I wouldn't do that if I were you".

"How the heck does he Do that?', Maggie thought. "He never even opened his eyes".

"I'm waiting". Snape tapped his right foot with impatience.

Taking a deep breath, Maggie began scrubbing his hair. She swore she felt some bugs running over her fingers while she scrubbed. Luckily, upon rinsing his hair the water was clear and insect-free; must have been her imagination.

"Hey, Professor. You hair is to clean and shiny; I don't think the conditioner will be necessary." Maggie would do anything to not have to touch him again.

Snape looked at her, his beetle-black eyes twinkling. "Condition me", he sneered.

Maggie looked for the conditioner and found the bottle (Potion Motion for Oily hair). It poured out like black tar but softened up immediately into a lovely lavender color and scent. Still, it squicked her out no end to have to be this close to her Professor, to have to touch Snape.

Rinsing done, he had her wrap his hair in an emerald green towel and sat next to a table filled with combs, brushes and a mirror. The mirror had words printed on it: "I like my face, I wear it well. I love my looks, I think I'm swell". Maggie felt faint again but managed to hang on to reality. She combed his hair with a tortoise shell comb and luckily he agreed to let it air dry. "Thank Goddess for small favors", Maggie thought. "I don't know nothin' 'bout styling hair!"

Snape then directed her attention to small vials of nail polish.

"Sir. I believe the natural look is perfect for today's man, uh, manly wizard."

Snape wasn't buying it. "Would you like another detention, Miss Strasser? No? Then, the dark purple nail polish with the little gold sparklies in it, please". He extended his hand out to her to paint. Maggie nervously tried to paint his thumb with no success. She had to wipe off the ruined polish and tried again.

"I believe you'll have to hold my hand to get the polish on properly." Maggie glanced up at her Professor. His mouth went up in a sultry little half-smile. "Is he coming on to me?" Maggie wondered. 30 minutes later Maggie was sweating like a pig but the job was passably done. Snape waved his fingers around in the air and gently blew on them. Maggie wasn't certain at this point, bus she would later swear that she heard him humming the words to "I Feel Pretty" while admiring his hands.

"Help yourself to come ice-cold water, Dearie; it's over there". Snape waved his arm towards his desk and Maggie noticed the pitcher and cup. Gulping one cup down and then another she paused on the third cup. "He called me Dearie". Maggie was totally confused and frightened. What happened to the mean, evil Snape that she loved to fear? True, she did love to tease and taunt him, but this had gone too far. Maggie was totally out-classed and out of her element. She was afraid. She dumped the third cup of water over her head.

"Come here, Maggie, you're not done". Snape kicked off his slippers and lifted his robe up to his knees. Leaning back, he extended one foot towards her. "Grab the lotion and rub. Dragon hide boots always do a number on my feet. I need to keep them soft and pleasant-smelling". Maggie knelt at his feet, they seemed to grow more enormous as she looked at them. This was going to take a lot of lotion and rubbing. "Oh boy", Maggie sighed.

***

Two hours later, Snape was washed, dressed, brushed, polished, perfumed and ready for a night on the town. "I think we have a Lockhart in the making here", Maggie thought to herself.

"I heard that", said Snape. "You said that out loud". Snape glared at Maggie, hands on his hips. Except for the stance, this was the Snape that Maggie knew and loved to hate. She breathed a sigh of relief. "Well," she stammered. "Have a good date sir" and she turned to leave.

"Maggie". There! There was that sultry voice again. "Turn around". She obeyed, and Snape waved his wand over her. "Vestis Cinderellis". Suddenly, her clothes turned to a lovely dress of forest green, gold high heels on silk stockinged feet, earrings and rings of opals and diamonds on her ears and hands. Blonde hair cascaded in waves over the shoulders. Finger and toe nails both in a delicate shade of pink. Maggie could smell sandalwood and patchouli perfume gently wafting about her. She gazed in Snape's mirror at her make over in amazement.

"You see!" Maggie stamped her foot at Snape. "You could have done all this yourself and I could have done something more enjoyable like disemboweling frogs."

Snape stiffened and turned to her. "You did not enjoy any of this? Am I so untouchable, so unworthy of pampering a little?"

"No sir". Maggie hung her head in shame. "You're beautiful. But I find you more frightening this way. I prefer you mean and angry. I can handle you then. But this…I can't handle".

"Good. More detention for you Miss Strasser. 3 hours, for your cheek. Immediately". The old Snape had returned. "You're coming with me".

"Sir?" Snape offered Maggie his arm. "You. Me. Date. Now".

"But sir. Teachers can't date their students", Maggie protested.

"Then a field trip. You like acting? The theatre?" Maggie nodded yes.

"Good. I know of a wonderful Muggle play in London. Consider this a field trip. You will learn about the theatre, and you will learn how to treat your Professors with respect. And, maybe, you will learn that giving up control once in awhile to a person you can trust is not a bad thing." Snape offered her his arm again. This time, Maggie gladly locked her arm about his.

"What are we going to see?, she inquired.

"A marvelous play with a phenomenal actress an absolutely gorgeous actor. The play is called 'Private Lives' ".

Off they went into the night and Maggie learned that while an angry, mean Snape is nice, a well-groomed , well-mannered Snape can be even nicer.