James and Sirius were flirting with every girl they passed. Remus was contemplating the position they were in by noticing the looks on strangers faces to their clothes and everybody else's. Peter, on the other hand, was shocked with seeing a man in women's clothing (even though he was wearing half of a women's outfit). He was so shocked that he didn't notice a garbage can in front of him. So, naturally, he fell in. (Un)fortunately, this garbage can held sharp, acid covered knives. So yeah… Peter's dead.

The other three guys didn't notice though, so they continued to the food court. Remus randomly started sniffing the air.

"Moons, what in the name of Merlin's soggy left nut are you doing?" Sirius asked.

"Something smells… off," he replied.

"Short skirts…". Remus had been looking around the area, but jerked his head at Sirius's odd response. Then he noticed which direction his eyes were in. Remmy rolled his eyes and started to search the odd scented vicinity. He found a book. (Trust Remus to find a book in a stuffed mall.)

"Hey James! Does this book smell odd to you?" he asked.

"Kinda' like a mix of Evans and me…" he answered.

"Yeah… that's weird…"

"Moonmyster, are my eyes deceiving me? Is that… is that… CHUCK-E CHEESE'S?!?!?"

Sirius looked to said shop, then towards James, and developed a glint in his eyes. AND THEN! Both James and Sirius broke into a sprint to the children's playroom. Remus rolled his eyes for the umpteenth (or in actuality, the eighth) time that day. He put down the odd smelling book that just so happened to be titled Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

The guys we all love to make fun of for having a time of the month started to follow his best friends to Chuck- e Cheese's. Out of fricken nowhere, the picture of Chuckie on the side of the sign came to life and brutally murdered Remus by bludgeoning him with an axe to the back of the head. (Geddit! Geddit! Chickie murdered him with an axe ;-)

Meanwhile, Padfoot and Prongs were having the times of their lives in the rest- arcade. Sirius was hitting on a pretty, blonde woman sitting alone in a booth. Her seven children joined them and Sirius got up quickly.

"Prongs!" Sirius called on his way to the bathroom. James was playing skeeball vigorously.

"What?" he called over his shoulder.

"I was using lines on a lady with seven kids! EW!!!" Sirius said.

"Wow dude, that sucks for you."

Then Sirius drowned himself in the bathroom sink.

So James was alone in Chuck-e Cheese's playing skeeball. He rolled the ball up, it rolled back down. He rolled it up again, and it rolled back down, again.

"Come on!" he screamed. He murderously threw the ball at one of the holes and it bounced back mockingly. "You effing hole!" he screeched. A lady stepped back at the comment.

He climbed up the skeeball ramp and plopped the heavy skeeball in the 500 points slot.

"Take that you ho! That's what I thought. Yeah ya skeeball slut. Whore! Loner!"

He insulted the skeeball game so much that it sucked him down the hole and ate him.

Moral of the Story: Don't chew with your mouth open.

Fin

(P.S. Voldemort was in his evil lair which just so happened to have an exit which led to the skeeball game in Chuck-e Cheese's in a random American mall. To say he was shocked when a blundering James Potter came into his aforementioned lair would be an understatement. James ended up with multiple STD's from obvious reasons including Voldemort.)