Dying Sun

Hey guys, I put allot of emotion into this, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. C:

The morning was beautiful, birds were chirping and flowers blossomed. Something about today gave Matthew a good feeling. He walked down the street of his neighborhood, a small bundle of sunflowers clutched tightly to his chest. Ivan used to always give him a bouquet of sunflowers, no matter the occasion. He would even give him flowers just for the sake of it. Mattie would always admire how the man poured his care and love into him until he was over filling like a small teacup. His eyes sparkled as he thought of his lover's kind nature towards him. When Ivan would come home from work late drunk and broken, he would try his best to match the same compassion he was given. They had made it through a lot of tough times together, they could weather any storm and come out unscathed. Like the time when Ivan's obsessive little sister tried to kill them both, but failed in the process. A chill ran down his spine as he imagined that harmless looking girl snap and become the murderous psychopath she really was. Neither one of them had expected her to be so... out there. Ivan said that she was diagnosed with a mental disease years before but it was more severe than they thought.

Matthew turned on the curb, glancing ahead for a moment, and returning his gaze back to the flowers in his arms. The sun seemed to shine brighter on him, filling him with a warm sense of remembrance. A single tear dripped down his face and onto one of the flower's petals, as the mood became suddenly cold and dark. It isn't fair... It really isn't. About a month earlier, Ivan was diagnosed with a deadly disease that had already progressed beyond treatment. Ivan was stubborn, he never liked to go to doctors' offices. He said that they reminded him of depressing times. His older sister had died when he was just a child, and the doctors lied to him about her condition. They said she was coming back home the same day she passed away. After that Ivan vowed never to go to a doctor's office unless it was an emergency. Unfortunately, he waited too long for one to surface. The doctors said it was a wonder how he had lived so long with such a disease. It tore Matthew on the inside to hear such words. He couldn't take it, it hurt him so much to have to let go, and so soon too. More hot tears dripped down his face as he walked farther and farther down the street, Why does he have to go? We were meant to be together forever...

"Matvey, I am strong, I will get over this and we can move back to Canada soon, don't worry yourself, please. It makes me hurt to see you cry..." Mattie hiccuped, he could feel the Russian's ghostly knuckles rub against his face as they had from his last visit to the hospital. His eyes, they were so sad and pained, how he wished he could give them life again.

Matthew looked up again and found himself nearing the hospital. People that were also walking on the sidewalk were staring at him. Some had pity in their eyes, while others looked away, displeased with his teary face. He frowned deeper, and took a deep shaky breath. An uncontrollable whimper came from his mouth, as he stared at the front doors to the great white building. Please Ivan, hold on... for me... He crushed the flowers against his chest, bleeding the hope from them for himself.

"P-please..." Mattie's voice shook, as he walked through the sliding doors. He walked up to the main desk and checked in with the friendly brunette nurse. She nodded at him, and wished him and his partner a good day. He relished those words, holding them tight in his mind, for that was all the hope he had left apart from the sunny yellow flowers he held. Standing outside of the elevator, he waited for the doors to open, every second passing weighing on him like bricks. When they finally opened, a few people walked out, and he stepped inside, pressing the third floor button. The doors closed, and he was lifted to the third floor, he didn't even mind the cheesy music this time around. Why had such a beautiful morning and feeling become rotten? He stepped out as he reached his destination, and continued to walk down the long hallway. Pictures of cute baby animals and flowers welcomed him on either wall, though he wasn't so happy to see them. He stopped at the door he had visited for countless times over the past month, and knocked gently. Choking up his tears, and becoming silent, he heard a voice beckon him inside.

"Come in Matvey, there are no nurses." Mattie swallowed hard, a huge knot forming in his throat. His voice sounded so different, he wasn't himself. He turned the golden knob and pushed the door in gently. His lavender eyes searched through the well-lit room until he spotted the huge hospital bed with his lover laying in it. Machines surrounded his bed, extending millions of wires into his precious Ivan. He closed the door behind himself, and calmly walked over, setting the flowers on the windowsill. The smell became fresh again in the open air, and not squished against him. Ivan looked at him with drooped tired eyes, a faint smile lighting his face.

"Thank you, I love them so much, I don't think all of the sunflowers in the world are enough for me~" His voice was soft, and gentle, much like Matthew's own.

Mattie swallowed again, a tear dripping down his cheek. "Y-your welcome... I thought I would get you some more while I was out." He strode over and sat on the bedside next to the other man. Ivan tried his best to sit up, but Mattie set his hand firmly on Ivan's. He shook his head, another tear dripping from his eye. "N-no please don't strain yourself."

Ivan sighed sadly, and looked away from the Canadian's teary face. He stared out the window longingly, his own eyes becoming teary. "I wish I wasn't so weak. We would both be out there in that beautiful sunlight doing what ever your heart desires if it weren't for me..." He turned back to face Mattie his eyes dark and sad.

This made Matthew even more emotional. "You're not weak Ivan, it could have happened to anyone." He leaned in closer to him and sat his head into he crook of his neck. Tears began to soak the Russian's pillow and blankets. Ivan closed his eyes, and lifted his hand to place it on Matthew's back, unhappy about the wire in his arm having to go along also. They sat in silence other than the beeps of the machines, and the sobs coming from Matthew.

"I love y-you too much to let go..." Mattie murmured into the other's shoulder. Ivan petted him, not knowing any comforting words to say.

A few minutes became hours, and they both fell asleep how they lay. An older nurse came in, checking her clipboard for the patient's name. "Mr. Braginsky? Are you awake?" She whispered, stepping inside, and walking over to the bed, her heels clicking on the tile floor. A sweet smile stretched across her face as she saw Matthew curled up with Ivan, both soundly asleep.

"How sweet." She glanced up at the machine beeping and reflecting long lines of green, red, and white. Her face became sad, and she shook her head before scribbling quickly on her clipboard.

"Poor boys..." Without making anymore noise other than her heels, she walked out and gently closed the door behind herself.

The sunflowers sitting on the windowsill drooped, their leaves withering and becoming dark in color. Hope was draining from the very flower that had brought so much to the two men.

Matthew woke up a moment later, his shallow sleep interrupted by the clicking of heels. He squinted as the harsh light of mid afternoon shone brightly into his eyes. A weight next to him caused his gaze to fix on the man sleeping beside him. It took him a moment to register, before he suddenly jumped. What! Why was he sitting so still!? Was he dead!?

"Ivan!" He urged in a louder tone of voice than usual. Ivan didn't respond, and continued to lie in the same position. Matthew became terrified, his heart pounding in fear. No, no, no! He can't be dead now! It was too soon! He sat up, and gabbed Ivan's shoulders, and shook him with as much care he could manage.

"Please! Don't die yet!" He whispered desperately. A moment later, Ivan's eyes snapped open to reveal fearful amethyst orbs.

"What!? What is it Matvey!? Are you ok!?" He sat up quickly, though he winced and quickly sat back, still extremely worried.

Matthew relaxed greatly as he saw Ivan react, and he smiled weakly. "I-I'm sorry, it's just... I though you had died..." His face burned bright red, and he fell onto the other man in a tight embrace.

Ivan took a deep breath, and closed his eyes, a matching smile on his own face. "O-oh Matvey, I wouldn't leave you, not yet at least." His voice was hoarse with worry and fading sleep, though he was just as relieved. Mattie hugged him, his head buried deep the blankets over in his chest. He listened to the Russian's slightly quickened heartbeat and breathing for reassurance. He never wanted to forget it, never wanted to forget him. They sat in silence once more, though neither one of them dared to fall asleep in fear of another rude awakening.

Matthew heard Ivan's voice rumble from deep in his chest, causing him to lift his head up and stare the other in the eyes. "I love you Matvey, and I want to promise you that when my time comes-"

"No! Don't talk like that! You will get better, I know it!" Mattie denied the fact that Ivan's death was approaching faster than his liking. Ivan sighed deeply, and lay his hand on the Canadian's back again.

"Please, you must hear me out." He pleaded, before raising his hand again. Mattie looked back up at Ivan with puffy red eyes as his chin was lifted by the pale hand. Violet met Lavender and he continued to speak.

"When my time comes, I want you to know that I will be fine. I want nothing more than your happiness, and while I am not here I cannot be sure of that. So I ask of you to please remember that I will always be waiting for you. I will never truly be gone. I wouldn't DARE leave you." Both of them had tears dripping down their faces, and Matthew's lip quivered.

"B-but why? Why do you have to go? Why can't you stay here with me? I am NOTHING without you..." His voice cracked, and he hiccuped every few words.

Ivan moved his other hand over and rubbed Matthew's tears off his cheek with his thumb, a sad smile tugging at his lips. "I don't want to leave just as much as you don't want me to, but god has chosen my time and I must obey it." They hugged tighter, without another word spoken.

It was night before the silence was broken again by the door opening, allowing bright light inside the room. A male nurse stood outside the door, a small frown on his face as he spotted Matthew with Ivan. "Visiting hours are over sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Mattie nodded, sitting up and giving his lover a passionate kiss on the lips. He crawled off the bed gently, and turned to face Ivan. "Good night Ivan, I hope you have sweet dreams." A weak smile pulled at his lips as he stared at the drowsy looking Russian.

"Good night Matvey, and the same applies for you, I don't want you collapsing again like last week." He looked so sad to let Mattie go, but he had to deal with it for another night until the next morning.

Matthew waved, and quickly walked past the nurse and into the hall to return home.

Ivan sighed sadly and readjusted the blankets on his bed. The nurse outside his door nodded seeing as the patient looked in need of a good rest rather than a meal. He closed the door again, plummeting the room into near darkness just as before. The moon was just bright enough tonight for Ivan to see everything in his room. He stared out the window as he had ever since coming to this wretched place, not bothering to turn on the small tv hung on the wall. Outside, the city shone with life, buildings and cars emitting their unnatural glow, lighting the city with specks of bright colors like a Christmas tree. Ivan would miss these kinds of beauty. He looked over towards the bundle of flowers left by his lover, his eyes shining fondly at them. A pang of sadness quickly replaced his calm happy mood at the sight of their condition. It seemed as time passed while he stared at them the petals all fell one by one, leaving most of the flowers bare. Life is such a fragile thing.

He noticed the aching pain in his side, and a tear rolled down his cheek, sparking in the bluish light. A smile painted across his face as he remembered how happy he made Matthew over the years. He wasn't going to leave him quite yet. "Don't worry Matvey, I wont die tonight. I will await your return even if I have to sit through a million sunrises. You deserve a proper farewell." He closed his eyes and lay his head back into his pillow and listened to the sounds of the hospital and outside night in peace.

I didn't want to list the disease that Russia was inflicted with, as I have little to no knowledge of them, so I left it for you to fill in the gaps.

I don't own anything. Please review! I like to hear from you people!