Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. hides Sesshoumaru in the closet
Warning: this story involves the birds and the bees, so come here kids, and read some porn! ()…I KNOW there are 14-year-olds reading this…(O.o)
Notes: awkward sex is the best kind
'SALT, BLOOD, AND FEAR'
She is seventeen and ripe. Akin to a beautiful plant that has grown out of a tiny seed, she had matured and developed wisdom for a root and body for a fruit. So, he supposes, he was the one to water his little flower every day, including that fateful evening when he found her amongst dirt – dead and meaningless – and showered her with life and significance.
With him – she had meaning, and without him – she was nothing. She told him so when he decided to let her go and grow among her own; in his mind it was the only reasonable thing to do. At fifteen, she became distant and began to question him. Such behavior would not be excused; so he thought they were over. Sesshoumaru was not accustomed to change, and Rin did nothing but that. Her ways of speaking changed, for instance: from referring to herself in the third person, to speaking in first person, and then going back to third person once again (this time following his example: 'This Rin…'). She became more serious and bolder – his influence as well, the Lord of the Western Lands supposed. The young woman developed somewhat of an attitude when it came to doing things she did not want to do, such as staying out of the battlefield when he fought. And even though she still obeyed his authority for the most part, he felt that her change would eventually progress to some form of outright disrespect, and that would not go by lightly. Their time together was coming to an end, and it was nobody's fault but hers.
When one day he told her she may leave if she wished so, she said 'no'. When he told her she must leave, she said 'no'. When he himself left, she found him out and blatantly stated that she could not live without him. Sesshoumaru thought about the meaning of it for a short while, before telling her that she was quite capable of taking care of herself and her basic needs. That is not what she meant, however. He should have seen this coming.
She was allowed to stay.
He made sure to let her know that any lack of respect expressed in his direction would have a price. If Rin would not obey him – Sesshoumaru would leave her. It did not work, since it is hard to get rid of a backbone, and he understood it somewhat, because he would have felt exactly the same way had the situation presented itself.
Soon he began to like it.
Whenever Rin went off on her own without permission or caused some minor troubles to him, the Lord of the Western Lands would feel strangely proud of his ward's untamed character. It reminded him of himself. Before long, the dog demon found he was unable to hold onto his promise of leaving her had she disobeyed. Whatever it was that she did to him, Sesshoumaru finally realized, it was working. His suspicions proved to be correct when one day she crossed a very dangerous line.
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Her strange smell assaulted his nostrils with arrogance. Aside from her regular scent, there was a slight overtone that was new. The young woman never smelled in such a way before. He identified the aroma right away, but was unable to come to terms with it. When Sesshoumaru found her in the forest where he had left her two days prior, the dog demon had not revealed his presence right away – on account of whimsical curiosity. She was told to wait for him there for five days, but he was finished with his affairs earlier than expected.
Sesshoumaru's nose picked up the distinct scent before he even entered the forest. And now he watched her from seclusion of trees as Rin sat, reclining against a thick log with her legs bent and spread apart. His eyes darkened briefly at what he saw.
She was touching herself between the legs with her eyes closed, deep in concentration. A slight moan escaped the young woman's throat and she licked her dry lips. He continued to watch. Some minutes later her face contorted with what looked like pain (though he knew it wasn't). Rin slowly removed her hands away from her womanhood and sighed wearily. She looked disappointed.
He watched.
And then he was discovered.
The young woman looked to his direction when Sesshoumaru accidentally – no, deliberately – stepped on a twig, which cracked audibly. He sensed her instant fear. Rin watched her lord come out from the thick greenery, and stand in front of her. He was silent, and so was she. Neither of them knew what to do next. At last, youkai moved, causing her to flinch.
Sesshoumaru made his way to the log, and, in order to make a silent statement, sat at the same exact spot she claimed several minutes ago. The distinct aroma was present there at its strongest. He noticed a faint blush upon her cheeks. She was extremely nervous, he could see. Rin's gaze turned blank for a brief moment; she was either thinking of an excuse, or apology, or-
The young woman slowly made her way over to stand in front of him, so hesitantly that he thought she would stumble on her way. He watched with curiosity as she unhurriedly loosened her blue kimono and let it fall to the ground. The next were her undergarments.
Has she gone insane?
Did she want to show him something on her body that was an apparent cause of worry?
She was ripe.
Sesshoumaru surveyed her body for some time, noticing how her tan face and neck created a visible contrast with the rest of her milky skin. Rin's small breasts stared back at him, akin to a pair of eyes, begging the demon to do something.
What was she expecting him to do?
There was nothing wrong with her body; in fact…
The pair remained motionless for a good while, and he gazed at her throughout it all. At last, the young woman suddenly fell to her knees and crawled over to his side with that same uncertainty. She slowly picked up his weaker left hand, which he grew out during the past eleven years, and placed it softly on her delicate collarbone. Sesshoumaru did not object, but neither did he promote her action. The demon lord simply complied, and let her do what she was doing. Rin patiently slid his palm lower until it completely covered her entire right breast. She cringed when his curious fingers bent to hold it, while his deadly claws pricked her skin a little. He instantly withdrew his hand and watched as five tiny drops of blood appeared on her pale skin. Such fragile little thing she was. Carefully, he placed his thumb upon each scarlet tear, wiping them off slowly, one by one (it was only reasonable, after all). Amazingly, Sesshoumaru found he was unable to take his hand away this time, and glided it across the valley of her breasts, feeling the silky fabric of her cool skin in the process.
Her moan was barely audible. Rin tilted her head to the side and closed her eyes. Was she really anticipating for him to continue? The dog demon's question was answered when she picked up his left hand once again and brought it to her lips, kissing the back of it softly and leaving a moist mark upon it.
He watched.
She turned his hand over and did the same to his palm, nuzzling it gently.
He watched.
Now, Rin was making her way over to his face with painful slowness. He could see the intense curiosity she experienced behind all of the apparent nervousness. She looked him straight in the eyes as she neared his face. Sesshoumaru did not blink once. When he felt her small puffy lips on his cheek, his body suddenly tensed. When those same lips landed on his other cheek, he stopped breathing. When she drew back to look at him, he wanted to say something. After all, this entire ordeal was incredibly inappropriate. She was not allowed to touch him – much less kiss him; it was an unspoken agreement between two. But this was not the first time she disobeyed. Just where exactly did she learn to behave in such improper manner? He had to wonder. In the meantime, Rin's hand pressed itself slightly above his knee for support, while the other remained on the grass.
He had to say something.
He had to tell her that it was not alright for her to touch him so.
And yet, Sesshoumaru was not exactly willing to move away (though he had the opportunity to) as she placed her lips upon his unhurriedly. Moments flew by, and she did not retreat. His own lips were closed in a relaxed line, unresponsive. Their eyes remained locked on each other, and he saw her pupils dilate gradually. Then the hand which stayed on his right leg accidentally slipped off, causing the young woman to lose her balance. He caught her of course, and held the now shaking nude body with his both arms, making sure she was a good distance away from him.
"Sesshoumaru-sama..." Rin saw the hard look in her lord's eyes and seemed to realize just how foolish her actions were…finally. "Forgive this Rin's actions; she has been unwise." With this, his ward began to move away, but found she was unable to do so, because his arms remained stationary around her shoulders. She waited, unsure of what to do. He could see confusion quickly rising in her glittering eyes.
Sesshoumaru was unsure himself. Rin behaved badly. Rin apologized for behaving badly. Rin was going to back away and put her clothes back on. Somehow, he did not like the last idea. And the Lord of the Western Lands never simply allowed for something to take place if he did not like it. She was shivering from the chilly night's air.
"You are cold." He stated simply, watching her nipples as they hardened. They looked back at him, begging for comfort.
"Hai." He then maneuvered the naked girl onto his lap with ease; she complied willingly. Sesshoumaru noted that his breastplate had sharp spikes, and quickly removed it by tossing it to the side. Pulling his ward closer, he calmly wrapped his arms around her fully and felt her sigh in relief.
"Gomen nasai, Sesshoumaru-sama." Rin whispered timidly, and buried her flushed face into his pelt. Her smell was overwhelming, and the dog demon knew not what to do with it.
"Rin," he started quietly, "why do you do this?"
She kept her face hidden from him, which proved to be incredibly frustrating.
"This Rin does not know." She doesn't know? "This Rin saw two people in the woods once when Sesshoumaru-sama left…they were doing something…they were happy," she concluded.
"Are you not happy?" Aside from the occasional waywardness, she never gave him a reason to believe she was unhappy. Sesshoumaru just assumed that-
"Iie." The dog demon was puzzled at this. He never knew humans to be overtly dependent on sexual intercourse. Most demons (he was one of the exceptions) were driven upon lust all their life. Rin was human. So why would she be just like the demons?
"You suppose that being with this Sesshoumaru will make you happy?" He felt her face dig in deeper into his furry pelt.
"Hai." He was really trying to understand what was going through her head right then, but failed to perceive it nonetheless.
"Why?" Rin lifted her head slowly, and looked him straight in the eyes. Sesshoumaru noticed that she stopped shivering. Her eyes spoke volumes, so by the time she answered his question – he knew the answer and wished he didn't.
"Because this Rin loves you." For a moment, he forgot how to inhale altogether. He should have seen this coming. He knew humans' entire existence depended on 'love', but somehow the dog demon figured his ward would be different in that aspect. And being the human that she was, the young woman probably associated love with sexual intercourse. How foolish it seemed in his eyes…and yet, somewhere deep inside it made perfect sense at the moment.
"Were you not happy before this Sesshoumaru came here?" The comment made her blush incredibly, but beneath the young woman's obvious discomfort, he caught a protruding tinge of sadness.
"Sometimes, this Rin is happy," she answered sincerely, "but other times it is not enough to imagine…things." The demon lord visibly startled. So, she had done this before when he left to take care of business; only now she had been discovered. What was more startling to Sesshoumaru was that she thought of him while she-
"You think of me…" He stated listlessly, not bothering to address himself properly, for he was not really speaking to his ward but rather to himself.
"Hai. Gomen nasai." She could not lie to him, he knew. And now, Rin seemingly began to feel self-conscious about her nudity, and moved her arms in front of her chest for shelter. The demon lord could not simply let this issue aside. He was in full right to know.
"Tell this Sesshoumaru what you think when you are alone as you were just now." The young woman widened her eyes at this. Her mouth opened slightly, and some unintelligible words escaped. Sesshoumaru tightened his grip on her for assurance. "It is alright; you do not have to be scared." He was not certain if it was 'alright' as he stated, but they were past the point of formality by now, he realized suddenly. Rin was hesitant for a while, and the demon lord waited patiently. And the longer he waited, the more he wished to know. Finally, she gave in.
"This Rin imagines herself being touched by you." She stared blankly into her lap. Sesshoumaru was not satisfied with the answer.
"How?" The girl fell silent in apparent embarrassment. He was curious to no end now. He would know everything. "Show me." The dog demon spoke before considering his statement. Rin raised her eyes in question, but she obeyed (the one time he wished she wouldn't). Sesshoumaru's left hand was taken from its fixed spot and placed upon the girl's right cheek.
"Like this," she said.
"Is that all you imagine, Rin?" He asked quietly, somewhat relieved and strangely disappointed.
"Iie."
"How else, then?" Her heartbeat quickened its pace, as she slowly slid his left hand down to her neck, and then lower, resting it on her breast once again. When he grew reluctant to let go, the young woman in his lap withdrew his hand from her breast, gliding it lower with her own, over her soft stomach and to her womanhood. She left it there, and he did not move it away. Rin's legs were tightly locked together, preventing any further passage.
"Here," she whispered and bit her lip.
"Is that all?" His inquired hoarsely, after several tense moments of silence. Something odd was happening to Sesshoumaru, and it was not on his accord.
"Iie, there are other things." Rin closed her eyes.
"Show me." The dog demon whispered in a husky tone, and this time he definitely did not say it willingly. The young woman looked at him in all sincerity.
"This Rin cannot…Sesshoumaru-sama would be angry." And now he understood her timidity. Would he be angry? – was the fundamental question. "May this Rin go and dress herself now?" She quietly asked, her voice barely audible.
"No."
He was more surprised than she was.
"Then what shall-" She stopped in the mid-sentence when his left hand traveled slowly down her thigh. He slid it along the rest of her leg, and was satisfied to find it just as soft as the rest of her body.
She was ripe at seventeen.
"Does this Sesshoumaru ever touch you there?" The demon lord asked, not ignoring his growing desire to take her. Rin gulped heavily.
"Iie."
His right hand cautiously slipped below to her rear, cupping the soft curve gently and causing her to arch her back in reflex.
"What about there?"
"Iie," she breathed.
The moment Sesshoumaru glanced at her neck, he wanted to taste it. And since the Lord of the Western Lands never denied himself anything, he lowered his head and brushed his lips upon it experimentally. When Rin moaned, he could do nothing but open his mouth and glide his hot tongue along her chilly flesh. Her hands grasped onto the fabric of his sleeve, and she called out her lord's name with the added plea.
The dog demon moved away after a while and gazed at his ward. She gazed back at him with what he was sure the same expression. She parted her mouth and moved her face closer to his, breathing warmly into his nose.
Sesshoumaru never kissed anybody in his eight hundred year-old life. All sexual encounters he had were strictly 'business', so to speak. He was never as sentimental as to indulge himself into meaningless foreplay. This time however, for some unknown reason, he gave in to what Rin wanted. He knew humans to be fond of such thing, and so he let her have it. Interestingly enough, both of them did not exactly know how to kiss. For several seconds, their open lips simply touched and moved around each other with uncertainty, until they finally locked together. The moment Sesshoumaru felt the softness of her mouth, he wanted to taste it. And since the Lord of the Western Lands never denied himself anything, he moved his tongue into Rin's mouth and brushed it along everything that was in reach. Her taste surprised him with its unidentifiable perfection, and the dog demon strived to experience more of this curious fruit. His hands rose around her once again: one around her middle and the other on the back of her head; pulling the young woman closer, Sesshoumaru delved deeper into her mouth. Rin responded in kind, following his example. Once her tongue collided with his, creating an interference between each other's explorations, they fought tirelessly with one another, and neither one wanted to give in.
Sesshoumaru sensed her struggling soon, and was obligated to let go of her for her own sake. When he saw her breathing heavily for several moments, the dog demon instantly relaxed. The human girl was simply out of breath. Her cheeks were flushed and she smiled gently.
"You are happy."
"Very," she panted.
The girl twirled her finger around one particular hair strand of his.
"Are you happy, Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin asked him suddenly. He took his time to consider the question.
"Not yet," he uttered darkly then, before flinging her onto the grass a little too roughly than he should have, and causing her to yelp in surprise.
She lay on the grass patiently, coming to her senses; while Sesshoumaru discarded his many articles of clothing with the same regality he did everything. One by one, his garments flew to the ground, and eventually he was upon her, tasting her mouth once again.
The dog demon's nose suddenly picked up the familiar tinge of fear, and chose to ignore it. She wanted this, and therefore, he would give it to her so she could be happy. Whatever she was scared of did not matter, especially now that he had set his mind on taking her. However, when Sesshoumaru felt Rin's arms loosen around his back, he gritted his teeth in frustration and forced himself to withdraw from her weakened embrace. Was he doing something wrong? Not likely.
"What?' The dog demon barked with slight annoyance. The young woman beneath him looked none other than terrified. Checking his tone this time, he whispered slower but barely calmer, "What is it?"
Rin moved her eyes to the right, not wishing to look in her lord's direction.
"This Rin does not know what to do…" Ah, so watching some couple rut did not give her a good idea.
"You do not have to know. This Sesshoumaru will show you." His right hand gently massaged her stomach not without impatience. The dog demon sucked on her chin urgently, continuing his interrupted ministrations.
"This Rin…maybe Sesshoumaru-sama could…we could – tomorrow." Rin was not making any sense at this point. The youkai growled at her, in hopes of taming his little minx. Usually, the threatening sound would cause all of his prior females to obey. Never before had he encountered such a direct interference during a rut. What kind of games was she playing? He gazed at his ward in puzzlement, his growing urge screaming within him to ignore her entirely and take her already.
"Rin, you may not behave like this. Not now that we are-"
"Sesshoumaru-sama," The demon lord stared at her blankly, astounded. Never before in their time together did Rin interrupt him. "Gomen ne, demo…"
He should have left her rotting on the ground the first time he saw her puny little body in the forest.
"Damare!" He shouted, enraged.
Sesshoumaru's toes curled unwillingly in what he identified as pure anger. The demon's hair created a prison around the young woman face, and he kissed Rin roughly once again – this time his intent was to prove his male dominance. The Lord of the Western Lands had to prove his dominance to a scrawny human woman! Damn her!
"Sesshoumaru-sama! Onegai!" And yet Rin's cries always won in the end for the reasons better left unsaid, he decided. He pulled back completely now, and surveyed the crying girl with contempt. She had humiliated him!
"Speak now, and then you may go away." Away where? Away from him? Away from this? Would he really let her go?
Rim backed away clumsily, wide eyed. He waited. He should take her now, before she leaves. But he won't…he won't. The girl gulped audibly.
"Speak!" Sesshoumaru suddenly became very aware of time and space, as everything seemed to slow itself down to a crashing halt.
She is not breathing properly. She points at him carefully. What a strange little thing, he decides. Her scent is thick with fear and salt of her tears.
And then he notices her bleeding mouth, her magnificent stomach – scratched to imperfection, her beautiful breasts crying with blood. And then the scent registers itself.
She is still pointing.
Incredibly aware of himself now, he surveys his claws that are twice as long. Cautiously, he reaches his face in time to find the four elongated fangs retracting to their normal size. His vision is no longer red.
They are both silent; and each one is expecting the other to speak first.
"This Sessh…" he pauses with uncertainty. What can he say, after all? "This Sesshoumaru did not take into account…" No, that is not how he wanted to say it. She is still pointing, and he wonders briefly if she was turned to stone. "This Sesshoumaru is not used to being with a…human." She chokes out a breath, and he knows that he should not have compared her with others to her face. "This Sessh…I should have kept my demon blood in mind." He wants to laugh now. He always keeps his demon blood in mind, and always controls it well. Why would it be any different now?
She moves to her clothes, and he is about to block her path when he realizes that he does not have the right. This is an alien concept to him, and yet he succumbs to it pathetically. When she is all dressed, she begins to leave. Salt, blood, and fear: that's all it took to get rid of her. If only he had thought of it sooner…but now he does not want to have her leave like this.
"Rin." His voice is cold. She stops. She turns. She watches him standing naked in front of her.
"Do not say anything, please. I will leave – just like you wanted a long time ago." She sobs. She does not want to go, but he realizes that she had an epiphany just now, because he had it too. She will not say it. She will not- "I understand why you hate humans. If you try and love them – you will eventually hurt them. Hate is easier than love. I understand why humans hate you as well. Even if they try and love you – they know they will fear you in the end." She attempts a weak smile. "Fear is not love, Sesshoumaru-sama."
And so she leaves him quietly, with barely any sound. Her scent soon becomes nothing but a distant memory…or delusion. And he is still naked in the forest.
And he is sad.
And he is helpless because of what he is.
And he is angry because he should have seen this coming.
And he is…empty.
And she is right.
He could go after her. He could stop her in her tracks and not let her leave. He could tell her that he can change – but they both know he can't.
He dresses himself quietly and leaves to find some consolation in killing something worthy of being killed. If there is one thing he is good at – it is killing things, hurting things, making things afraid of him.
Oh well.
THE END
Okay, I know it's depressing. Sue me for pain and suffering. I was just compelled to write a lemon, because I've read so many. I did get find some plot holes – Rin was NEVER afraid of Sesshoumaru (that we know of). Well, my pathetic excuse is: this fiction was intended to come solely from Sesshoumaru's point of view. If I were to include Rin's POV, the store wouldn't be the same. Just remember…this story is only an episode of a specific imagined story. Consider it an excerpt of what could have been. Imagine what circumstances could have led Rin to leave him like that. If it was the first incidence of fear, I'm sure they could have worked it out, but apparently Rin had her reservations before that…like – she though she was in love, and ignored the fear. So, when it comes to criticism of why she left, I say she must have had other instances to support her opinion. I'm just trying to justify myself, lol! () Just consider this story as an excerpt, because it was never meant to give you the entire picture.
CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is more than welcome. Judge fairly.
I especially would like your opinion on how I handled Sesshoumaru's character – this is my first Inuyasha fiction that I post.
Please inform me of my grammar, and if you find anything wrong with it – since I would appreciate any help at getting better.
