I do not own Ergo Proxy.

WARNING: CHARACTER DEATH

POV: Raul Creed; Kristeva

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Pictures of Light

Nothing in this world glows - but the bright picture of my little girl.

My little girl Pino.

There in that darkened room which used to shine - where there had been a somber Autoreiv in black.

A quiet woman.

A cooing baby.

The piano surved among the wreckage of expensive furniture and glass.

Here in the dark, no light can reach. This home is a tomb now.

And there is only silence.

No gentle melodies or lullabies -

Just the crackle of glass underfoot - and somewhere, the sounds of riots.

But even here - in this nightmare - a light fell - and something beautiful glowed.

Simplicity and love in the lines of crayon.

My eyes beheld the light:

------

A little girl in very somber clothes - and a hint of things to come in her gentle eyes.

Pino.

Pino on the back of a rabbit with -

Vincent and Pino and Real holding hands.

And then -

Him.

There he was with a smile on his face, holding her hand with a red heart balloon in his other -

Hand.

His hand in hers.

And he knew what he wanted the most - what Vincent - no - Ergo Proxy had taken away.

------

They were standing as they should have been - as they should have done on that fateful day. Below the clock of eternity - the clock of stability - the symbol of order - of lies.

"Pino."

Somehow, despite his gut wound, he staggered down the serted streets of Paradise Lost. Ignoring the occasional Entourage or Autoreiv seeking for a safe place from the rioting humans who blamed the falling city on their robots.

A safe place -

Paradise Lost.

No.

It was there in his hand - a bright testament to hope and love. It had been there the whole time.

Somewhere he heard a child's toy play - a familiar melody.

Pino.

Things went blurry.

Pino.

Struggling to his feet, pushing onwards, Raul managed somewho to get closer - so close.

------

But - Pino - it's so hard to stand - so hard to reach that invisible... to find that -

Something is looming up - what - what - suddenly I reel back trying to evade a frantic Entourage -

The sky tilts - the skyscrapers loom -

They used to be so blue - even the dome's air is now polluted with smoke - it's no different really from the outside.

And then there's pain - spreading out from my gut - did I tear the wound?

No.

My hazy vision focuses on a piece of glass protruding through my belly.

No.

Pino.

Pino - I - I need to -

Pino. Turning my head painfully and slowly, my eyes fall on the picture -

Pino. Her small hand in mine.

How I would love to feel them again. To hear her cheerful voice - to listen to her play - to remember the sweet melody -

Was she changed? Did she grow to know this - this -

The thought slid away like oil through fingers - slippery as the blood trickling down the pane of glass.

It's going black now - and all I see - all I can see - the red balloon -

I'm sorry, Pino. I wish I could be there - under the clock.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

------

Somewhere - somehow - through the gloom and dark, echoing down the galley - a haunting melody called.

It called, it said 'goodbye' -

It stopped.

------

Raison d'etre.

He always talked about it -

Master Raul said it was why we live -

Why do they live, I wonder.

Kristeva, he asked me, why do I live?

I can't answer that - I never could. Perhaps...

I gaze down at the bloodied picture of his Autoreiv - they are holding hands and red heart balloons.

He always had a fascination with red heart balloons since that day.

Bending down, I pick it up -

Raison d'etre.

Now that he is gone, what is one to do? In this city, no Entourage can live - and there's still that little one.

He wanted to see her so badly.

Raison d'etre.

Master.

I'll take care of her for you - as you would want it.

I pause - and slowly lay one hand on his cold cheek - and close his eyes.

Why?

I can't answer that.

------

I reached the shopping galley and found nothing there - but a small toy and a letter...

Big scrawling, loopy words -

Dear Daddy...

And I know I have to find her - will find her - will protect her - will find a way to live for him.

------

The haunting melody plays again - I watch the infected Autoreiv's fingers manipulate the toy expertly. It is a matter of time, I know, until I am, too, infected. I wonder.

Will I then feel some pain - even though I cannot cry - my face has no expression - a blank slate -

Will I visit that small piece of earth where he lays to mourn him and his memories?

Her lullaby stops - she turns and smiles.

And I know suddenly, he lives in me and my memory - perhaps, one day, I too will make a picture of light.

He will be sitting as usual in his chair, overlooking the city through large windows and I, standing behind him in support, as always. And he will turn to me and say -

"Remember to order the car for later this afternoon - I've got an appointment to meet at the shopping gallery."

A picture of love and hope - and light.