Seven Years

He changed. I could sense it. The atmosphere in Woodsmanor always seemed to change with every mood swing the Dark Lord experienced. Now it was one of those times when He had an ingenious plan. All the Death Eaters sensed it, too. We became quieter with every day that passed since we felt He had an idea. The deaths our recent tasks ended in were enough to make even Bellatrix Lestrange wince at the mention of the word 'mission'. Of course, I knew it before everyone else, not because the inexplicable bond between the Dark Lord and myself, but because He ordered me to fake my death a few weeks ago. I didn't understand why, but the Daily Prophet articles about the jubilation my 'death' caused were amusing enough to keep my mind off His motives. It is unwise to ask for His reasoning, I've always said this, although I've questioned Him on countless occasions. The middle of May was when we finally found out what He wanted us to do.

Bella walked into the common room one day looking quite pale.

"Sara, the Dark Lord wants to see you," she said to me. "You, too, Snape," she said to him. Without a word, Snape and I swept past her and went upstairs to the second floor. I kept my eyes fixed on the double doors behind which the Dark Lord was waiting for me and the traitorous git at my side. Snape and I didn't even glance at each other. I stopped in front of the doors and knocked. They opened, slowly but surely, to let us in. We entered and bowed low as the doors closed.

"Up," the Dark Lord said shortly. We obeyed.

"I have a task for you. Both of you," He said. Snape and I remained silent.

"I want you to go to Hogwarts and get new allies," He said. But this meant --

"Yes, Master," Snape said.

"As You wish, my Lord," I said through gritted teeth, but my voice remained toneless.

"And you will do it," He continued, "with no conflicts. The animosity between the two of you will not stand in the way," He said sternly and looked pointedly at me. "Shake hands," He said.

Snape and I wrenched our identical black eyes away from the Dark Lord's merciless red ones and looked at each other. We had no choice but to be bent to His will. Bent to His will… I couldn't believe I was thinking that. 99.9 of the time, I am more than willing to obey Him. Although he had his mind instinctively closed, I knew Snape was having similar thoughts. He hates me. I hate him more. But we had to. Or did we? We looked at each other's eyes and made a non-verbal pact. We simply wouldn't tell Him that we'll be disobeying Him. Of course, this would be nothing for Snape, I thought savagely. I reluctantly accepted. Ten months of 'peace' with Severus Snape was more than I could stand. Using every ounce of concentration I possessed, I closed my mind. In unison, we slowly extended our arms and shook hands. The Dark Lord seemed pleased. He told us exactly what we should do and dismissed us. Snape and I didn't talk at all on the way back downstairs. He reached the common room first and slumped into a chair, his head resting in one hand. I walked in more slowly. I sat down next to Fenrir and just rested my own throbbing head on his chest.

"What happened?" he asked. It wasn't like me and Snape not to exchange cold words at every opportunity.

"He … He wanted us to go to Hogwarts," I said quietly. "He's going to be a teacher," I jerked my head towards Snape, "and I'm going to be a student. It'll take at least seven years," I said with my voice shaking. "We need new allies," I said gloomily. Fenrir gulped and out his arm around me. I would not see him properly for seven years. Surely I could make it last shorter, if not at all. But, it would be no use trying to talk Him out of it. It was almost impossible. Arguing with Him would only get me a… how shall one say… a harsher sentence. Yes, I consider being separated from Fenrir torture. I must've done something wrong, but what? I haven't been breaking any rules, nor have I disobeyed Him in decades, nor have I failed Him in a mission in eons. I just sat there, brooding, drowning in my own misery.

"I have to send an owl to Dumbledore," Snape said hoarsely a few minutes later. He departed from the common room, his black cloak fluttering behind him, making me sick.

"No loopholes?" Fenrir said half-heartedly.

"No," I said. "But I'll get enough allies to last Him a thousand years," I added fiercely.

Fenrir smiled weakly.

"That's my girl," he said. I merely sniffed and hugged him.

"Promise me you'll write," I said.

"At every opportunity," he assured me.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

I had to wait until my birthday. Then I had to change my age. I inherited this ability from my father along with immortality, fangs, and a thirst for blood. Usually, I rather enjoy scaring people out of their wits with my vampiric ancestry. I would just grin, preferably with droplets of blood covering my teeth, and show them my fangs. But now it led me to do one of the worst things I could imagine.

I disobeyed Him.

I've lived in hope that Snape would never manage to drag me down with him. Snape and I were polar opposites. Neither of us can remember exactly how it happened, but I do know I had a hunch he couldn't be trusted. I guess that the almost mutual dislike between us grew with every word we exchanged from that moment. Since then, I've been frantically collecting reasons to hate him and to accuse him of betrayal.

And so the 28th of May came. We couldn't risk Hogwarts owls coming to Woodsmanor, so I had to go to Malfoy Manor instead, so it would be written down as my permanent address. I've been here on several occasions before and it seemed that the house became more and more beautiful every time I visited it. Lucius certainly had good taste. He donated Woodsmanor to the Dark Lord and we've been using it as Headquarters ever since. I concentrated and turned eleven with a faint pop. I was eleven for only a few minutes until an owl was seen in the distance, flapping towards me. The winged speck grew larger and larger until it dropped a letter into my hands. I thanked the Malfoys for their hospitality, regained the twenty-one-year-old look, and went back to Woodsmanor. I didn't think I could bear to open the letter here, in Malfoy Manor.

I slowly opened the letter once I got to Woodsmanor. I don't know why I was so cautious. Perhaps I was hoping it would say that I wouldn't be able to go to Hogwarts after all. But when I finally opened it, two pieces of parchment fell out. I gingerly took the first one.

"Dear Miss Fade,

We are pleased to inform you that you have a place -"

I didn't bother to read the rest. I crushed it in my hand and threw it into the fire. I glanced at the list of school supplies and stuffed it in the pocket of my black Death Eater robes. I looked at them and smoothened out the wrinkles. I only had about three months to wear them. I had three more months to be in Woodsmanor…

A fresh surge of hate shook my very core. I remembered the day I got my first letter from Hogwarts. At that time, I thought it was normal for a vampire to have these powers. I said nothing of them to my parents. But then, on my eleventh birthday, I got that letter. My mother and father were overjoyed, but I was less enthusiastic. I loved my childhood. I was like a pupil to my father. He taught me all kinds of things about getting prey and stuff. He was very proud of me. And it was very fun. But, being immortal, that meant I could do this my whole life. But that didn't make my childhood dull, for usually, mortality made things more beautiful, because mortals can die any second. Getting my letter meant I'd have to move on, and when I come back, seventeen years old, I'd probably have changed my mind. And I didn't want to change it! Or at least, I didn't want it changed for me.

Of course, my mind changed. More letters were sent to me, all full of 'O's. I didn't make such a big mistake by choosing to seek my fortune. I studied the Dark Arts, and used them. That was the time where I started killing for the sake of it (well, more than usual), not using my fangs, but my wand. Later, I became very interested in immortality and met the Dark Lord. We met again several years later and I became a Death Eater, and have been serving Him ever since. But, still…

I hated Hogwarts. And this time I hated my return even more. This time I had to leave Woodsmanor. This is my home! Worst of all, I had to leave Fenrir.

I sough the advice of some Death Eaters. First we had to find to people that looked vaguely like me, kill them, and use them for Polyjuice Potion. Then we'd go to Diagon Alley, but everyone agreed that it would be best that I had a little break. I was more than happy to do so. Little did I know that my friends found two suitable people while I was pining. In truth, they were Muggles, but this way, they could be a couple of obscure wizards with mediocre jobs, working for the Daily Prophet, and ate carrots for lunch. It was decided that Fenrir and Bella were to accompany me to Diagon Alley and King's Cross. Frankly, I wasn't surprised. I may be liked by many a Death Eater, but I was quite certain most of them wouldn't volunteer to come with me.

Soon it was time to go to Diagon Alley. For some reason, I had Muggle clothing (size 11) with me. I put on my 'No School, No Stress' shirt. I was in a slightly similar situation some time ago and I fell in love with this shirt the moment I saw it. Anyway, I thought it was fitting for the occasion. Ironic, yet logical. Normally, you would expect that I thought of my job as stressful. Fenrir and Bellatrix were waiting for me in the common room, heavily equipped. A full money-bag was waiting on the table. Obviously, Fenrir thought that if I was going to leave, the least he could do was make sure I was comfortable. Upon seeing me, they nodded and took a swig of Polyjuice Potion. They turned into two people that might've passed as my parents. Bella's hair turned lightly from black to dark brown and became a bit more bouncy. Her eyes went a little bit darker, but not nearly as black as mine. Still, no one would notice. Bellatrix and I were very similar anyway. Her face changed subtly. Fenrir changed more drastically. His fair, brown hair became black, and his wolfishly bright eyes darkened. His usually pointy teeth formed parallel lines and he shrank to about half a foot shorter. He looked nothing like my father, but the dark hair and eyes were convincing enough.

We Apparated near the Leaky Cauldron and quickly went to the back. We didn't want to show our faces, transformed or not.

It had been a while since I'd been to Diagon Alley. The cobbled road twisted and turned in front of us like a great serpent. Shops lined the sides of it while people talked and shunted each other aside in its middle. The cauldron shop was nearest. We exited it with one standard size 2 pewter cauldron, just like 'Professor' Snape requested. Not size 3, copper covered in zinc, with stripes around the rim, but standard size 2 and made of pewter. The apothecary was just across it, so we brought a some basic ingredients. I felt like such an idiot. I was going to be brewing water with Bundimun bits. I could brew the most immensely difficult potions with my eyes closed!

I looked hungrily at Quality Quidditch Supplies, but unfortunately, I wouldn't be allowed to play Quidditch. And the beautiful new One-Size-Fit-All Keeper gloves were calling out to me. They even had some fabric on the inside that didn't make your hands stink but at all and also had some other material on the outside that prevented the Quaffle slipping through your fingers. Fenrir saw this and put a hand on my shoulder, perhaps out of affection or in order to prevent me running out and stealing them. He knew how crazy I could get about Quidditch. The stationery shop provided me with scrolls of parchment and a bunch of quills including an exquisite, long, sleek, black one.

What made me sigh angrily in Flourish and Blotts was its lack of books on the Dark Arts. Bella just handed the list of books to the salesman and looked at the full shelves of books. She was trying to restrain herself from putting the Cruciatus Curse on the person standing nearest to her. A day and a bit was more than she could stand without torturing someone to hell and back. Bellatrix and I were like sisters. The salesman scuttled around the shop, collecting books from the shelves. He laid them out on the counter and Bella paid him some money. We turned to leave.

"Er… Ma'am, you're two Sickles short," the salesman said.

Bellatrix and I turned simultaneously and glared inhumanely at him.

"I'll knock it," he squeaked hastily. We exited the shop, smirking. We got me a set of clear, crystal phials, a telescope, and a set of bronze scales, even though the list said brass. Fenrir insisted. Now all that remained was robes. Fenrir and Bella hung around while Madam Malkin coated me in safety pins and draped me in measuring tape. We continued shopping with my new robes wrapped in a bundle under my arm. We walked along the rest of the street although I didn't need anything else.

"You won't be needing any of those," Fenrir smiled as we passed the second-hand robe shop and the junk shop. I smiled back and squeezed his hand.

"How much more time?" I asked when we finished the tour.

"About fifteen minutes," Bella answered.

"We should get going then."

We walked back in the opposite direction. I glanced at Knockturn Alley as we came to Gringotts.

"Need anything?" Fenrir said.

"Not really, but I'd like to visit this place," I said.

"Yes, you'll need this visit," Fenrir said. "You're a growing girl."

We all laughed and, making sure the coast was clear, strolled into Knockturn Alley. It was such a relief to be surrounded by Dark artefacts after the brightness of the main street. We didn't buy anything, but it was quite nice. We went back to Woodsmanor once our fifteen minutes were over. We were smiling, but then we remembered why we were there in the first place and became quite subdued.

Feeling like everything I had on me was tainted with some kind of Hogwarts germ, I changed. It wasn't long now until I had to go to Hogwarts. I didn't want to spend another second without Fenrir. And he didn't mind. He wanted the same things.

'Waiting to die is worse than dying'. That saying always used to make me roll around, laughing, clutching my sides in fear that I'll split open. But now I understood it completely and I wanted nothing more than to kill the idiot who came up with it. Days flew by like seconds and the day I dreaded for months came. On the several nights before I had to leave, I'd just look at Fenrir sleep and felt miserable myself.

The weather changed abruptly. It was no longer stiflingly hot but bitterly cold. The wind froze my eleven-year-old bones as I walked through King's Cross. Fenrir and Bella came with me again to see me to the train. Both the cold and my dried tears burned my eyes. I blinked furiously and rubbed them.

"You'll miss the train. Hurry up," Bellatrix said, checking the clock when we went to platform 9 ¾. She gave me a little nudge forwards.

"Don't rush me, Lestrange," I snarled. Fenrir took my trunk and I followed him next to the train. Everyone got on the train and were already waving at their parents even though the train didn't move. We had to say goodbye…

"Good luck," Bella said and gave me a hug.

"Thanks," I said and turned to Fenrir. My eyes seared painfully again as tears formed. I hugged him tightly and sobbed on his shoulder. He held me for more than half a minute.

"I love you," he said needlessly in my ear. I sniffed and kissed his already transforming cheek. His hour was over, but he didn't do anything about it. I jumped on the train a split second before it started gathering speed. I waved at him sadly until I could see him no longer.

Fenrir kept waving even after the train was out of sight.

"You're changing back. Here," Bella said and gave him a hipflask. Fenrir took it and absent-mindedly drank the foul potion. He kept staring at the spot where he last saw me. Bella drank some more Polyjuice Potion out of her own hipflask and made to leave. She realised Fenrir was not at her side. She turned on her heel to see the Fenrir still looking at that same spot. Fenrir grudgingly allowed himself to be steered out of King's Cross and into Woodsmanor.

OK, I know this chapter is generally depressing, but the second part is a lot funnier! (The chapter was so long, I had to split it in two.) Everyone, I'm very sorry for the slow updates, but rewriting is hard! I swear reviews will speed things up. (wink wink nudge nudge)