AN: Be gentle on me...I haven't published in years. My grammar needs some serious TLC, can anyone suggest a free app or site?

Old Insecurities

Your first crush without a doubt in your mind had to be, John Winchester. He came into your life guns blazing at the very influence age of 14. Both your parents were dead by the time John got to your house. The creature had you pushed against a wall, your death moments away when the pressure on your throat disappeared. Your eyes open to see him.

"I'm John Winchester and you're okay. I've got you now."

The next month you lived with John and his two sons. The front seat of the Impala, to crappy motel rooms were the only scenery you saw. Crossing state line, after state line as John hunted down all the evil that goes bump in the night. He was a hero in your eyes, your knight in shining armour.

The boys were always very kind to you. Bunking together so you could sleep in a bed while John took the couch. Dean was 16, and Sammy was 12 so the teenage hormones were raging at all times and being locked in a car or motel room wasn't helping. "I got of get out of here Dad!" Dean shouted when John walked in through the door.

"Good, pack it up we are moving on."

"Dad, that's not what I meant. I need some fun!" Dean looked to you and Sam. "We all do."

John nodded his head and said we would stop and do something. John pulled the Impala into a PuttPutt mini golf.

Dean smiled at John. "I'm so hitting the batting cage! Thanks dad." The boys climbed out the backseat and ran to the entrance. "Don't like mini golf, sweetheart? John asked when you didn't show the same excitement as the boys.

"I do, just not ready to have fun yet. Everything is still sinking in."Y/N replied.

"I get that. Why don't you come inside and sit in the diner with me? We'll get a pizza." You smiled at Shook your head in agreement. Inside the boys were having a blast and didn't come to the table until the pizza arrived. You went to the restroom to wash up before eating leaving all three men at the table to devour. On your way back you heard Dean.

"Should of got two large pizzas dad! Y/N will be able to eat a whole large by herself!" Dean said as he took a final bite of pizza.

"Dean!" John said quickly.

"On second thought, better put her on a diet before a windego keeps her for two winter meals!" Dean laughed at his own joke. Sam noticed you standing a few feet away, Dean and Johns backs to you.

"Uhm, guys?!" Sam tried to let everyone know of your presence but John ignored him. "Dean, you never comment on a girls weight. Ever."

"Come on dad! She is chubby at best. Want her getting killed because she is to fat to keep up? You should talk to her about going on a diet, before she gets us all killed trying to carry her out a building. God knows it will take both of us dad." The tears formed in your eyes and you ran off before you heard John agree with the older son. Sam rushed after you. "Y/N! Wait up!" When Sam caught up to you the tears ran freely down your face.

"I'm sorry bout Dean. He's a dick don't listen to him." Sam said as he pulled you into a hug. That wasn't the first time you heard a comment about you being fat. You'd heard it all you life but Dean had been so kind, you weren't expecting it. You wiped the tears from your face and smiled. "It's not a big deal Sammy. I'm fine let's not make it a big deal, I know I should go on a diet."

It was Johns voice that you heard next. "No, your fine the way you are sweetheart. Let's hit the road."

After the month you went to live with your eccentric aunt after John explained that living on the road with him and the boys was no life for a young lady. John, had his faults but he was a man of his word and he kept a watchful eye on you throughout your teenage years. He showed up when it was your first time being a lead in the school play, when it was time for prom, graduation. You life was normal for the most part. You taken a liking for lore and the summer before college John had taken you to meet Bobby. The knowledge that he had seemed to be endless. You spent the whole two weeks reading every book you could, and bonding with Bobby. When John dropped you off at your first semester of college, he gave you a book on Egyptian lore and told you how proud he was of you. That was the last time you saw him.

The last time you spoke to him he told you he was with the boys and they were about to kill the yellow eyed demon that he had been tracking since the beginning. He told you things might go bad, that you might not ever hear from him again. That Dean and Sam would help her if she ever needed anything and that he was sorry he couldn't save her parents. Sorry he couldn't save the life she deserved and that he loved her. Then that was it. Radio silence. Bobby called her not long after and told her John had died.

John had died. Her first crush, her hero.

The next time she saw the Winchesters was at Bobbys. She had finished school and Bobby offered to let her move in not sure of her next move yet. She had just gotten out of the shower when she heard the car door slam, she peek out the window and saw that beautiful black Impala. It took her breath away. She slipped into her clothes and rushed downstairs.

"Y/N, the boys are here." Bobby said from the kitchen table. Sam grabbed you and twirled you around. "It's so good to see you! What's a been ten years?" Sam asked excited.

"It's been nine." Dean said softly as he leaned against the doorway. "Nine years." He repeated more loudly this time. "It's good to see you sweetheart, I know dad would be happy to see you."

You shook your head. "I miss him all the time, I wish he was here." Dean walked next to you and gave you a hug. He smelled like leather and whiskey and it reminded you of John. "So guys got a case?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, it will be good to have you help cause we are at square one."

AN: So this was just to set the background of Dean and YN relationship. How John saved her and how dean was a dick bout he weight when the were teenagers. Anyways I do have part two almost done. I hope you all like