AN: Damn, this one took me quite a long time to write. Was real hard for me, because this one isn't as dramatic as my previous fanfic, still, I have to write it just to provide the needed explanations and keep the plot consistent, as well as sew up some of the plot holes Jar Jar Abrams & Co left( dear Force, I hate how he wrote R2 into robodepression, this ws so friggin illogical).
I am also warning you that this characterisation of Luke differs from the one that is probably going to be in the sequel trilogy. I am generally open to citicism( even more, I love it when users write reviews, positive or negative). But this was completely intentional, and I am not going to correct it. I hate the direction they are taking the orignal trio in, so I am writing my own AU where I try to fix things up and build off the broken foundation. If you don't like it, you can still go ahead and read, but don't complain to me about how different this Luke is to Jar Jar Abrams's( or whoever is penning the TLJ script) Luke, how am I writing him OOC( Who was the one that wrote him OOC first? Me? Or the writers of TFA). You have been warned.
Also, I'd like to thank SWTOR players Rixty, Erilyne, Ubi and R-emus for reading my previous fanfic, and for tolerating my crazyness in general, as well as the FF user Optymistka and the people of the Jedi Council forums for leaving nice reviews, DARTH_MU and divapilot of the Jedi Council forums for the beta, and rinskiroo of AO3/ chibielf of Reddit for help.
I use the Force to pull the repair tool towards me. Just a few more loose wires, and these shelves will hang as if my ship never left the Starkiller base the way it did. I sense 0-1-0 is already in the pilot seat, plugging the map into the ship's navicomputer. I am happy to see him again. After the damage he sustained in the last attack on a First Order outpost, I wasn't sure he could be put back together.
After a few days having passed, but I still can't wrap my head around what happened. The Senate has been destroyed. Only with time would the Republic be able to reorganize. Thanks to Leia's effort in decentralizing the government, replacing the deceased senators will be easier than if we had all power focused on one place. While a good part of the Republic navy was destroyed, some of it should still remain. In the meantime, the First Order would be free to attack. And even without the Starkiller base, the First Order's power is considerable now that the Republic's forces are decimated. Chaos is going around everywhere.
Billions of people are dead. This was so many times worse than the destruction of Alderaan. After all the pain and death the old Empire has wrought, how could some people still not had enough of this? We only had around twenty years of relative peace so we could spread tyranny and war once again? I guess that there will always be monsters in the galaxy. People who can stand up to evil would always be needed.
Once again I see how I did the right thing by killing Kylo Ren. It's so much easier to admit it to myself now that it's done. Prior to his turn to the Dark Side, I was reluctant to admit it despite everything I've seen. When Ben became the cause of another Jedi Purge, I finally stopped denying his true nature. Even though I gave up on the idea of his coming back to the Light long ago, a part of me still wanted to save him just for Han and Leia's sake. For one moment, I actually thought I was wrong about Ben's being beyond the point of no return. Yet, no matter how much I initially wanted to believe otherwise, some people really are beyond redemption. And even if they aren't, sacrificing millions while trying to save one isn't worth it in most cases. I can see it more clearly now that what's done is done. Had he stayed alive, Kylo would have gone on to kill Han and many others. He had to be stopped for the galaxy's sake. My personal feelings about it are irrelevant.
I recall the bitter, grieving look on Leia's face the moment I returned from the assault on the Starkiller base. Her face full of tears during the conversation we had after that. How Leia talked to me before we set off for our mission, telling me she still sensed good in him. Was I really wrong about her son having completely succumbed to the darkness? Or was she blinded by her love, just as I always had thought? We'll never know now. I don't need the Force to see that the Solos aren't going to forgive me for this. Now all I can hope for is for them to recover from the loss of their son and find happiness in each other like they used to back when I first met them. Just the very thought of them being alive and okay is more than comforting for me.
I sense Rey at my ship's entrance. I recognize her thoughts and feelings. She is conflicted, and it has to do with me and my actions. Rey had believed all Jedi to be noble heroes, only to find a former member of the Jedi Order killing an unarmed opponent, when others were begging her to spare him. But it's not the manner of Kylo Ren's death she is worried about. It's Han and Leia's mental state after what happened. For someone who knew them for such a short period of time, Rey sure does care a lot for them. More than one would care for someone whom they met only a few days ago. Living alone must have been very hard for her if she's so willing to form attachments to other people.
I wonder what Rey's life was like back on Jakku. From what I found out while talking to Finn, she was an orphan and a scavenger, stranded on Jakku since she was very little. There is no information on her age, or her family. Rey herself doesn't seem to remember it either. In my experience, I heard that most adults don't remember their early childhood. I couldn't relate to that sentiment, though. Most of us Force sensitives remember the earliest moments of our lives, even those of us without any training. The first six years of my life were the memories I always tried keep fresh and bright in my head. Those memories remind me how free and peaceful my life was. They were always my last anchor to humanity, when I was one step away from becoming a monster.
The more I think about it, the more mysterious Rey seems to me. She shows a prodigious Force ability, and claims to have been stranded on Jakku for a long time. Why didn't the New Republic discover her? Luke did his best to ensure Force sensitives throughout the galaxy were found. There is always someone you miss, I guess. Why haven't her powers manifested themselves earlier? From my experience, the more gifted the Force sensitive were, the earlier they start to show signs of being able to use the Force. Instead Rey's powers appeared out of nowhere, and she seems to grow stronger day by day.
I am curious if I can use the Force to help unlock her childhood memories. I learned advanced mental manipulation before Luke redeemed me. I even had it used on me in an attempt to regain my memories. It didn't help me regain memories of the mission that led to my disappearance. However, mental manipulation might be just what I need to perform to get Rey's memories back. Still, the thought of my willingness to invade someone else's mind just like that bothers me. Besides, the technique itself is mostly considered a Dark Side technique. There is also the question of whether she would actually agree to it. I wouldn't want to do something like that to Rey without her knowing what I am going to do, what the process is like and the possible risks. It's just a boundary I am not willing to cross.
Artoo is with her. I had hoped he would come. The little droid has been with Luke most of the time, and he held the last map piece, he might know something else about Luke. But that's not what bothers me about him.
After spending several days in the bacta tank, I found that Artoo has been reactivated, just as suddenly as he deactivated himself six years ago. It made me very suspicious, to say the least. When Luke disappeared, the astromech just locked down, not showing any sign of life. Everyone who tried to reactivate him or get him to work, including Han, Leia and me, failed to do so. The Resistance technicians attempted pull his memory, but all the data seemed encrypted. They wanted to scrap him, but Leia and I protested, thinking we may yet be able to extract some information out of him.
His unexplainable deactivation seemed both too convenient and too strange to me. Luke disappears, and the droid that might have known anything of his whereabouts is mysteriously locked down, with the situation puzzling even the technicians? Something isn't right. Leia said Artoo kept talking about a mission of sorts shortly before Ben, I mean Kylo Ren, attacked the Jedi Temple. But what it meant was mystery to both of us.
Some people said Luke went into exile after the loss of the Jedi Order. I never believed a word from that little story. I knew Luke for a long time. Luke wouldn't have abandoned all of us when we needed him most without a very good reason. He believed that to make things right, one had to do something about the way things are, and that's what I always liked about Luke . He wouldn't go into an exile, hoping everything would right itself, like many old Jedi did during the Purge.
After I heard of Artoo's reactivation, one of the first things I did was talk to him and try to find out what happened to Luke. However, it turned out his memory core was corrupt, and he couldn't piece the memories of the day he shut down.
There are just too many coincidences. I think the astromech must be holding a secret of some sort, and I intend to find out what is it. I doubt I can extract his memories on his own if the Resistance technicians couldn't, but it's still worth a try. And if I fail, I can still ask Luke when I find him.
As I finish putting the shelves back up, I wipe my hands with a piece of dirty cloth. I put the tools back and walk up the stairs to greet Rey. I see her wandering around my ship, curiosity in her eyes. She must have not seen many ships on her homeworld. At the same time she must feel some familiarity with this ship.
"Yeah, I know it looks quite a bit like the Millennium Falcon." I remark, crossing my hands on my chest. Rey turns to me, surprise in her eyes. "Same manufacturer, same series."
"I've never seen a ship like this before." She answers.
"It's the YT-2400 Corellian light freighter. A newer model than the Falcon, still doesn't fly as fast though. Never went out of my way to get as many upgrades as Han did. I didn't get into trouble with the law enforcement as a Jedi. Still, got some pretty good cannon upgrades, in case some shooting needs to be done."
"I think it's great."
"Thanks." I give her a smile. Rey briefly returns the gesture, but even then, I can still sense some sort of discomfort from her. There is a pause in the conversation for a few moments as the expression on her face changes to that of concern.
"Would you like to go and sit down in the living suite while I get the ship ready for takeoff ?" I try to release tension from this awkward moment by speaking up first. "Also, if you have any questions concerning the history of this ship, you can ask 0-1-0. Just keep in mind that he's not the most pleasant fellow to chat with.".
"What do you mean, not the most pleasant fellow?" Rey gives me a confused look.
"Well, in his primary function, 0-1-0 was an assassin and torture droid. Even though I did whatever customization I could with a protocol droid chassis, trying to repurpose him to my needs, 0-1-0 is still quite… gleeful when it comes to violence. Don't worry though, he won't hurt anyone unless I tell him to, with the multiple restraining bolts I've installed."
"Thank you, I'll keep that in mind." Rey gives me a nod with a weirded out expression on her face. Must be thinking how un-Jedi it is to have such a droid on board. Han was right, keeping a torture droid around doesn't do any good for my reputation. As I lead her to the seats, I notice a lightsaber hanging on her belt.
"Where did you get that?" I ask as I point towards it.
"A friend of Han Solo's gave it to me." Rey tells me as she turns her gaze towards me. "Maz Kanata."
"Yeah, I know her."
So, Maz's people somehow managed to scavenge a lightsaber. Doesn't seem that improbable, given her ability to find the rarest things against all odds. She helped me on quite a few occasions during my missions, despite our differing views on the Force. But giving it to a random person… Now that's interesting.
Maz is Force sensitive, and believes in following the Light Side, as well as everything revolving around the balance of Light and Dark. She has always kept her interference in things revolving around the galaxy to a minimum, living her life as a pirate queen and residing in her own palace in Takodana. She wouldn't have given a lightsaber to Rey unless she believed the girl's fate was somehow tied to the will of the Force.
The more time I spend with the girl, the more of an enigma she seems to me. Powerful Force sensitive usually have a very prominent trace unless they are taught to hide it. Yet Rey seems to be quite hard to read for someone who has hardly any training at all. Maz gives her a lightsaber at their first meeting. Rey's entire past is shrouded in mystery. I need to ask her about it when I get the opportunity. I doubt I know anything that might be connected to it right now, but individuals this powerful were never born randomly. The Force has plans. And Rey is about to play a role. I don't know what they mean, but it is best to be mindful about things going on around her. Rey's birth might be the will of the Force, but it was also the Force that allowed the Empire and the First Order to rise to power. And if it's will is for the Republic to fall, I must do whatever I can to thwart it. Regardless of what Rey's role in the future is, it is best if I try to figure out what it is. I am on the side of the Republic no matter what happens.
I see Rey looking at the dejarik table as she takes a seat. Same curiosity in the eyes. I suspect that this is the first time she is able to see every single piece of for the game. Poor thing must have been living on some really backwater planet. Might as well introduce her to the game while we're on our way to Luke as a way of starting a conversation with her. But first things first, I must check Artoo's memory.
"Artoo, could you please come with me for a moment?"
The droid bleeps in agreement. As I sense the ship taking flight, I make it back to the cargo room with Artoo following me, and search around the cables.
"Now, let's try to see what's up with you." I say as I find the right cable and attach it to the astromech. "Not sure if I can find anything, but it's not like it can get worse".
Once the cable is attached, I turn my attention to the small screen. Artoo's beeps and whistles are translated automatically.
"R2 = worried about his memory condition. R2 = never had things like that before" the astromech replies in binary.
"It's just as surprising to me too. Really strange that the professional technicians couldn't figure out what was wrong with you. Anyway, let's see what I can do." I told Artoo to hold on as I disconnect the cable and plug in another thicker one. I connect him to the nearby console and turn it on.
Hours pass as I look for anything suspicious. Not a single corrupt sector. No corrupted files or logs. No glitches of personality matrix I know. I check for any deleted files, but judging from the filenames, they all seem to be leftover garbage. I scan the memory recordings, especially the places that should be dated the day Luke disappeared, only to find no recordings for that day. It's as if the droid just shut down. But how could this be? If this was just a hardware malfunction, surely someone would have noticed long time ago.
I wonder if someone meddled with Artoo's programming. I am no expert, but I've heard that certain slicing tools and extensions could leave no trace of themselves. In that case, I am out of luck. Question is, who would install such a thing into Artoo? Was it Luke? Or was it someone else? The very thought of the latter makes me feel uneasy. If someone else was preventing us from obtaining a complete map, that person would have to be a part of the Resistance. Which means that we might have had an infiltrator from the First Order all along, without even noticing. They could still be in there, leaking our plans to the First Order. While the ship is on its way to Ahch-To, there is no way for me to be sure if it is being tracked.
I try to listen to the Force, but the echos of millions of deaths prevent me from getting a clear picture. I check Artoo's memory for deleted files again, this time checking the insides of the files. Nothing but random bits of data. One file catches my attention. This is the old Life Day holorecording Artoo made of us together 29 years ago. It was a video from right before Ben's birthday. I caught Leia watching it shortly after I was found, when both Luke and Han were away on their respective businesses. She confessed to me how much of a load everything in the Senate has been to her lately, so in her free time she used to watch the holorecording, recalling of the good times. I told her that no matter how far we stay apart, we will always remember each other. If I only knew back then how things would eventually turn out. At least, right now she has Han, alive and well and by her side.
Part of me is protesting against rubbing the fresh wound, reminding myself of the friends who will never forgive me. The other part of me just wants to see Luke's face, and everyone being happy, before everything went wrong. As my hand lingers above the console button, I feel the void inside me yet again. Even the pain is unable to eclipse the desire to remind myself of the way things were. I set the recording to play, despite the whatever emotions that might cause.
I can't believe what I am seeing.
Instead of seeing the younger versions of me, Luke, Han and Leia, I see an image of an older Luke in the Jedi robes he were when he was Grand Master.
"Leia." the holo image of Luke begins to speak. He must have known Leia was going to see the holorecording when she tried to rewatch it. No one else would suspect anything. Damn it, how hasn't anyone noticed this before? All the time, the clues were hidden in plain sight. But why did the message get deleted? And why was Artoo deactivated?
"If you're watching this, my worst fears have been realised. Ben has turned to the Dark Side. Someone named Snoke is doing everything in his power to shape Ben into an agent of evil. Once Ben's training is complete, the galaxy will suffer greatly. Ari and I tried our best to prevent this from happening. We failed despite all our effort. I don't want to give up on him, but I don't know what else can we do to bring Ben back. The only people who might be able to save him now are you and Han. I am sorry I don't have any better news for you."
So he suspected of Kylo Ren coming to power after all. He knew it, and he still refused to give up on his nephew. If only Luke knew how far into the Dark Side Ben Solo was… And how he thought the only way to snuff the Light out of himself was to kill Han, his own father… What is Luke going to say when I see him? And how am I going to look him in the eyes after killing his own nephew? Will Luke treat me just like Han and Leia did after everything?
The hologram continued.
"I am sorry I have to abandon all of you like this in your time of need, but if I stay, the unspeakable is going to happen. The threat of the being known as Supreme Leader Snoke is bigger than we could possibly imagine. The existence of the entire galaxy is at stake. He must be stopped, or all is lost."
Why didn't Luke tell me, or anyone else, any of this before? I remember him mentioning a vision of the galaxy being consumed by darkness. It was the evening before I left to fight the First Order invasion on an Outer Rim mining colony. But he never talked much about it. But why was Luke hiding it from the others if it was so serious?
"I am going on a mission where I hope to find the means of stopping Snoke once and for all. I urge you, Han or Ari not to try to seek me out. This is too dangerous, and I don't want any of you to suffer."
Luke… What have you gotten yourself into? Have you thought about the mission being too hard to tackle alone? Why couldn't you tell at least me or some other Masters?
"You haven't changed a bit," I say to myself as i hold back a tear. Always risking himself to save the others. And willing to put the mission at risk for the sake of his friends. Just why do you have to be like this?
"If I fail, Artoo Deetoo will reveal the location of my mission, as well as what to do so that Ari can finish what I started."
The last sentence strikes me like a lightning. If Artoo gave up the map only now, does that mean that Luke has failed at whatever he was willing to accomplish? Is he even alive?!
I reach out through the Force to Luke for the first time in many years, and finally, I am able to feel his presence in it. It's elusive, and I still can't sense any thoughts or feelings, but he is not dead. This comforts me instantly. But what is with his mission? Artoo gave us the map, but not any instructions attached to it.
"This may be the last message you are getting from me. Please, destroy it as soon as you've seen all of it, I hope you, Han and Ari stay together, no matter what happens. Goodbye." As the message finishes, I look at the console screen. What I've just seen explains a lot, but leaves even more questions. But one thing I know for certain: Luke's so-called exile was not an exile at all, but a mission instead. Did he succeed? Or did he fail? That I don't know yet.
I need to find the instructions, if any, Luke left. That should shed some light on what he's about to do. But just as I am about to get back to work, the console's screen suddenly goes blank, with sparks coming from several of the connecting wires. I quickly plug everything off the console, hoping to avoid any further damage. But I have checked the hardware only a day ago, and everything was fine.
This is really weird. First the astromech that won't turn on for several years and has memory problems, now my diagnostic console gets fried. I don't want to jump conclusions, but it looks if someone has specifically uploaded a virus into the droid to prevent anyone from finding out the truth. If it really is what I think, then I'd better not reactivate Artoo until I am able to fully scan him and determine what's going on. The more I look into it, the more I start to suspect about this being the work of an spy within the Resistance. But who could it be?
Quite a few Resistance operatives were taught to fight both Force and tech-based mind control techniques, which made them hard to read without applying particularly invasive methods. Some even had implants installed specifically to make mind control harder, in case they are captured by the First Order. The pool of suspects is quite large. And even if I were able to probe everyone's mind, trying to do so would scare the traitor off. Why didn't I sense any danger during my visits to D'Qar? That makes this even more puzzling.
I need to get someone to check Artoo. But who? There doesn't seem to be any charted settlements on Ahch-To. And even if there were, I can't entrust such an astromech containing the information about the Resistance to the first random slicer I meet up in the Outer Rim. There is nothing I can do right now with a broken diagnostics console. The travel time from D'Qar and back doesn't allow me to to get back to the base for at least three more weeks. My best bet right now is to try repairing the console myself. I have a few spare parts in the cargohold, but it might take quite some time..
Maybe I can get Rey to help me out with repairs. She seems to know an awful lot. She doesn't seem to have seen this ship model, though. Still, her skills could prove useful. I sense Rey has left the living suite and went to the pilot's seat to see 0-1-0. I can only hope he didn't tell her of his past in all its gory details. Especially not the gory details.
As I walk into the pilot's cabin, I see 0-1-0 talking to Rey, who obviously doesn't share 0-1-0's enthusiasm about the topic.
"And that was before Mistress Ari met Master Skywalker. Unfortunately, since then, her need in eliminating organics grew lower, and I am stuck with the functions that she added to me. I really hope we'll be seeing more of the First Order scum so I can return to my true-" the droid pauses as he sees me looking through the door. "Oh, Mistress Ari, I was just telling Mistress Rey about how we got rid of that despicable Hutt on Nar Shaddaa-"
"Enough, 0-1-0." I brush it off. I am really going to need another mod for him. As he is now, forcing him to shut up is just impossible. "Rey, could you please help me out? There's a console that got fried, and I need to repair it as fast as possible."
"Yeah, sure." She nods and follows me into the corridors. " Is he always like that? I mean, 0-1-0."
"Believe it or not, he was actually even worse when I first found him."
"Yikes." I see a disgusted expression on Rey's face. I guess she wouldn't like him any more if I told her about some assassin droid trying to kill me before I got a slicer to install the loyalty protocol.
As I return to the cargo hold, I grab the toolbox. Rey opens the lid on the back, exposing the console's inner workings. Rey coughs as the smoke comes out of the console. This can't be good. Still, the earlier I start repairing the thing, the sooner I can run make sure Artoo is okay...
Rey's help turns out to be even more valuable than I expected. Whatever there is to say, Rey seems to be catching it on the go, and while she doesn't know everything, she learns real quick. As a result, in just a handful of hours the console is almost finished.
"You learned all of that by yourself?" I ask Rey as I connect the wires.
"I've been making my living by scavenging back on Jakku. Found out a lot about ships by picking apart the remains." Rey answers, while grabbing yet another replacement chip.
"Any relatives? Guardians?"
She shakes her head.
"I wish I had it any different in my younger years," I whisper to myself as I pick one of the last spare parts.
"What was it like?" I pause for a moment before replying to Rey's question. Even after all these years, it still hurts to remember.
"Have you ever heard about Order 66?"
"The massacre of the old Jedi Order by the Sith?"
"Exactly. And that was what changed my life forever."
"I'm sorry, Master." Rey gives me a sad look.
"No, it's okay." I sigh before continuing. "I have learned to accept my past and live with it. Including the things I am not proud of."
"What things?"
"Before I met Luke, I wasn't the Jedi standing before you. Without anyone to guide me, my mindless hatred for the Empire led me to the Dark Side. I went so far I did… unspeakable things just to get back at my tormentors. That's when he stopped me. I thought I would be captured and executed, but Luke said he saw the Light in me. He spared me and gave me a new life. I became his apprentice. He, Han and Leia accepted me when everyone else called for my blood. I've been trying to repay the debt ever since. " my voice cracks as I recall that the very same debt is what led me to cutting ties with them. "Now, if only mercy and the lives of others were always the same…"
"Did you mean Kylo Ren?" Rey asks. I shudder as I did not expect a question this direct.
"Yes. I… wish there was another way. That we could... redeem him and everything would be fine." I take a few deep breaths as I am using the Force to calm myself down. "But no matter how many times we tried to save him, it always ended in a failure. I just had to do it to save Han. That monster, the grandson of Darth Vader would have killed countless others had he not been stopped. Even if it means breaking all ties with the people I considered my family." I change the subject, trying not to push my own problems on Rey. "Alright, that's it. Thanks for the help, couldn't have done it better myself."
"You are welcome." Rey says as she turns around. "I think I'll go back to the living suite."
I grab the holopad lying on one of the nearby crates to check the time. Quite a few hours has passed. I wonder if Rey needs something to eat.
" In case you're hungry," I smile at Rey, "don't be shy to grab anything from the food."
"Thank you, Master." Rey walks away from the room.
I reboot the newly repaired console. Time to find out what's going on with Artoo and if I can find any instructions Luke may have left. I may not succeed, but I will try. Even though Luke keeps telling me there is no try. Yes, I will do instead. He might have objected against anyone following him, but I can't just leave Luke to his fate. Whatever it is he's up to, I won't let him struggle alone. Not after all we've been through.
"Wherever you are, I will find you."