Disclaimer: All characters in this fic are the copyrighted material of the Disney Company. I don't own any of them, I didn't invent them… I just like playing with them a little. :3 Also, the title is based on the title of a song by Kenna, which will enhanced the experience of this fic if you can read and listen to tunes at the same time.

Warnings: Femaslash of a physical and emotional nature. If you're uncomfortable with girls getting it on, do not pass go, do not collect 200! There are about 9809389849898 other fics you can read. :D Also, note that this is not the fluffiest of stories, at least in the beginning, so don't expect snuggles and smoochies.

Notes From The Author: Well, this is my first fic in about six years. How time does fly! Also my first published attempt at girlslash, so go easy on me. I apologize for writing Sharpay as such a bitch, but this is set loosely alongside the HSM1 plot, and you've gotta admit that it was a really messed up time for her.. I really love her, though, so don't get the wrong idea! She's just a bombshell. When the plot bunny bites, there's no turning back. I hope you enjoy the story, and I'd really love a review if you have the time! Happy reading! :3

Vexed and Glorious

One.

Sharpay Evans was not a very nice girl. It was a path she'd chosen for herself early in life, of her own accord - when the choice was being nice or being number one, she'd always known the decision she'd preferred. It wasn't necessarily that she was mean - she was just… ambitious. Fierce. Determined. She was not going to be one of those girls that got walked all over and kept her mouth shut.

On those rare occasions when Sharpay evaluated herself, she always pinned her ambition to one thing: the 1995 Annual Little Miss Albuquerque Pageant. Nearing the age of six and having fully realized her potential as a star at that point, Sharpay had realized that little girls who smiled at the people who mattered and stepped on the toes of people who didn't - namely, her competitors - was one of the strongest paths to victory. It was a lesson she had carried with her through all seventeen auditions she had aced at East High, and a lesson she knew would push her to the top by the age of eighteen.

There was no way around it - Sharpay was comfortable in the spotlight. Being the most talented girl in the room, and knowing it, was her niche. Her Zen. Her oneness. Being doted on by her parents, revered by Ryan, and idolized by the entirety of the student body - whether or not they showed it openly - was simply how life was meant to be. Talent was Sharpay's most prized possession.

Which was why, when Miss Darbis had proposed Twinkle Towne as the East High's new production, it had unnerved her slightly. This was, after all, not a well-known show that she knew by heart. This was a production whose music was written by a student - and to add insult to injury, the student was a soft-spoken, utterly ordinary freshman. It was unheard of. The thought of a clumsy little girl who had no idea how things worked in her theatre giving any form of musical direction irked Sharpay to death. It was obvious that Sharpay would have to audition and star in the show, regardless of what it was - if only for the issue of continuity, and the fact that the thought of seeing anyone else on that stage made her innards writhe - but she approached the production with an admitted grudge.

She made her way down the hall to the drama club meeting feeling moody, twirling a golden curl on her acutely polished, ring-studded finger. They were supposed to listen to the score of the musical that day, or at least the major parts of it. Being the obvious shoe-in for lead actress, Sharpay had of course already insisted on getting the music and lyrics printed, and had sent them to her pianist for an immediate rendition. She felt that listening to the songs now was a waste of time, but as a mandatory part of the club, she really had no way to escape. She did have to keep face for everyone, so as not to give the impression of an attitude problem to the director.

She pushed open the stage door and walked out from Stage Left, feeling the homey sensation of smooth, re-painted black box under her feet and bright spotlight against her face. The smattering of club members were already sitting around the stage, many of whom uttered various greetings as she approached. In the center was the old grand piano that was often used for live music, poised and ready for use. Miss Darbis was already here as well, in a corner backstage, speaking to a rather small and scrawny looking girl that Sharpay could only imagine was the songwriter of this little off-Broadway jaunt. She rolled her eyes and glanced over at Ryan, who perked up at the sight of her.

"Shar! Glad you got here! Was starting to wonder where you were! Pretty exciting that we get to hear the songs today, huh?"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever Ryan" She said under her breath and through somewhat gritted teeth, flashing an indulgent smile at the other kids, "Let's just get this over with so we can get back to practice. Not that we really need much of a head start, but it beats playing an audience member."

The grin slid slightly off Ryan's face. "Sure thing, sis."

Miss Darbis made her way to center stage, the small girl in her wake, looking nervous.

"Good afternoon, my young thespians! Let's get right to it. Today, we've got a real treat- your first look into what is soon to be our next renowned flight of fancy, Twinkle Towne! As you know, this play has been handcrafted by a group of students right here at East High; a new adventure for us all, as the most seasoned of you know - (she gave a small but exuberant nod at Ryan and Sharpay, who both grinned back) - and today, our songwriter will be sharing some of the songs with us! I'm proud to introduce Miss Kelsi Nielsen!"

At this, the small girl at Miss Darbis's side stepped forward and gave a shy wave. She was thin and bespectacled, with ash-brown hair scooped back into a lazy bun, a young face tinged pink in the harsh light of the stage, and huge, pale eyes that darted back and fourth as she greeted the group. They finally came to rest on Sharpay, who felt a strange stab of overly prominent annoyance and really could not explain why. Granted, it was not any secret that this girl was about the plainest little thing one could come up with, but there was something so… naïve about the way she stood, one knee pointing slightly more in than the other, in her white striped sweater and torn jeans, that sent an unpleasant, forceful swoop into Sharpay's stomach. Perhaps it was that this person was different from everything that Sharpay stood for - confidence, glamour, and cunning - yet it would be she who fleshed out the entire plot of Twinkle Towne, while Sharpay, however brilliant and good at putting her own spin on things, would still be somewhat confined to her lines and songs.

Kelsi's appearance gave way to scattered applause and greeting. After a moment, Miss Darbis steered her towards the piano. "Kelsi will be playing a few of the new songs, starting with one of the love songs of the show. If you please, my dear."

Kelsi took a seat at the bench, opened a folder full of loose sheet music, and began to play a slow, sweet song. It was comprised of fluid, quavering notes, setting many of the drama club into a wistful, glassy-eyed state. Sharpay watched them for awhile, thinking absently of ways in which her musical consultant would find ways to pep it up, and coming up with a few dance steps to throw in here, or there. Eventually, her eyes came to rest upon Kelsi, however, and she was deterred for a moment by the peaceful look she wore as she played. This girl loved her instrument, and Sharpay could tell - it was the same way she felt when opening night rolled around. She wasn't half bad, either, as begrudgingly as Sharpay admitted it. Her skill made her no less incompetent in a position of authority, but she could write and play, at the very least.

After about an hour of music sample, the club was dismissed and Sharpay and Ryan collected their bags to head for rehearsal. As they made their way down the house aisle, they crossed paths with Kelsi, who was gathering her music and books and making to leave. Ryan offered her a smile and a "thanks for playing today! The music for this show is great!", but Sharpay merely glanced at her before continuing on her way. It would be years before this girl would be worth her time.

--x--

Months went by. Auditions came and went, and, as predicted, Sharpay and Ryan had made callbacks. Everything should have been a continuation of her hard-earned joyride as the It Girl of East High's Theatre department.

But this semester, strange things had started happening. Some drab new girl, apparently called Gabriella, had moved into town and, together with Troy Bolton - a long-time object of Sharpay's interest, if only for his strong forearms and skill on the basketball court - had somehow single-handedly turned the whole school upside-down. Freaks and geeks were rubbing shoulders out of nowhere - stoners and scene kids were talking to jocks and preppy girls. The whole thing was unnatural, and all because a math whiz and Mr. Basketball Guy were trying, of all things, to sabotage her pre-professional theater career by auditioning for her show.

And while Sharpay blamed Gabriella and Troy for this, the nagging thought in the back of her head pointed at Kelsi. Nothing like this had ever happened when the school shows were pre-published scripts. The fact that this girl had come to Miss Darbis with the atrocious idea of a hand-written musical had somehow started a chain reaction, a blending together of lines and barriers that were supposed to separate things and keep order in Sharpay's life. And, as if to add insult to injury, it seemed that Kelsi was now rehearsing with Troy and Gabriella. To help them succeed. To help them beat her to the top rung that had been hers for three years now.

The day had been bad already. Sharpay had been late for school, done poorly on a math test, had to deal with Ryan whining about straining a muscle during rehearsal, and spent most of the day watching people who clearly did not belong together making friends. It was with this mounting sense of irritation that set her off when she walked by the music room and saw Troy, sheet music in hand, dancing around Kelsi's piano. Kelsi was smiling and playing with a soulful fervor that she rarely ever displayed in drama club. This image, this sickening, saccharine image out of some made-for-TV movie, was Sharpay's breaking point. She was not going to let this continue. She was going to set Kelsi straight.

Without knocking, she heaved the music room door open. Both Troy and Kelsi started, Troy faltering mid-note and Kelsi's fingers fumbling on the keys.

"Sorry to interrupt, guys. Hey, Troy!" Sharpay could flash her winning smile at gunpoint.

"H…Hey, Sharpay… we were just-"

"Oh, I know. Unfortunately, Miss Darbis needs Kelsi in the theatre now to go over some script stuff. I'm not entirely sure what she wants, Kels, dear, you might want to come quickly."

She shot Kelsi a "this-means-business" sort of look, and Kelsi sprang off the bench with a nod. "Oh, okay then!" and was off. Sharpay winked at Troy and whipped around, careful to toss her hair as she exited. As soon as she was out of his sight, she made directly for the theatre at Kelsi's heels.

The girls met at the door of Miss Darbis's locked office. Sharpay was blunt. "We need to talk. Greenroom. Now." She pointed at the door across the hall, leading backstage. Kelsi followed her gesture, wearing a stunned look.

"But… you said…"

Sharpay strode across and held the door open. It was not a kind gesture. " Now."

Kelsi did not need telling twice. She skip-walked into the room without a word. Sharpay glanced around at the deserted hallway before proceeding to shut the door and round, standing at her full height.

"Why are you so keen to help Troy and his little tart girlfriend, Kelsi?" Her tone was venomous, so much that even she was a little surprised at herself. "You'd better have something damn good to gain, cause you're setting yourself up to lose a lot."

Kelsi backed towards the wall furthest from the door, her eyes wide with fright. The sight fed some insane fire in Sharpay's chest, her desire for control crashing over her with new strength.

"I… you just… already have a pianist, Miss Sharpay. And they don't… you don't n-need my help with the songs-"

"Of course I don't. I've never needed help with a song before."

"Y-yes… and they don't have any help… and so Miss Darbis s-said I should-"

"Well, Miss Darbis may be the director, sweetie, but I run the show around here, and you're treading on very thin ice. You had better watch your step if you know what's good for you." Sharpay was advancing forward, backing Kelsi into a corner, relishing the feeling of power she had over the younger girl.

Kelsi was seemingly paralyzed with fear, one hand pressed white-knuckled against the greenroom wall, one of the straps on her tank top flopping over her bare shoulder. Strange, confused images started arguing with one another in Shapay's mind as she continued to force her way forward, her frustration with Troy and jealousy of Gabriella pounding in her skull. This girl was connected to all of it - this frightened little mouse and her stupid, beautiful love songs that Sharpay did her best to pep up and thrash through and forget the meanings of. Something had to be done about it. Something had to relieve this searing, surging anger-

Sharpay grabbed Kelsi's free arm and pinned it at her side, searching her terrified face with some mad inclination. She was losing reason quickly - all the rules and appearances she worked tirelessly to maintain gone in the blink of an eye. Here, finally, was her outlet - a way to take everything that was eating away at her brain and force it somewhere else.

She bit hard at Kelsi's neck, the smaller girl's cries of shock and alarm egging her on even more. She tightened her grip as Kelsi struggled, gasping for air, sucking harshly at the crook in her shoulder. She felt dull fingernails scraping, pushing against her shoulder, prying for release, and she doubled her efforts, forcing her body up against her victim's in full, flat-out refusing any leeway the freshman might have had.

And slowly, progressively, something very, very strange began to happen. Kelsi's grip did not slacken, even slightly, but became less reckless and adrenaline-fed - her thin hand was gripping the wall again, tighter than ever. Her voice was still strangled and her breathing was still ragged and rushed, but it had a definite rhythm to it now, a rhythm that almost certainly matched the things Sharpay was doing with her teeth.

Fury still dominated Sharpay's reason, but a new sensation- something warm and electric; a whole new feeling of power- was creeping into the edges of her conscience. She broke free and started at a new spot, lower on Kelsi's china skin, closer to her collarbone, desiring to leave painful reminders of this girl's treachery in any place she could see it. To her immense satisfaction, she felt goosebumps rise on her captive's arm, and dug her manicured nails further in, her ears filling with sharp gasps and soft cries.

Here was something she had control over in her life. Here was something that was not going to change. This timid girl would always be under her control, always powerless against her, always cowering in a corner, hers for the breaking-

Before she knew what had happened, Sharpay had seized Kelsi in a fierce and overpowering kiss, adjusting her grip to press her shoulders, and thusly her whole frame, so hard into the wall that she felt the air escape her lips. Sharpay had been around the block with a few boys by now, she knew how to kiss, but this was entirely different. This was raw and untampered with, this wasn't a pseudo-seduction punctured with "what is he going to think?" and "am I doing this how he likes it?" This was a bite at the lip, a sweep of the tongue, a complete claim of the virgin mouth under hers. This was plundering, forcing in, a hunger so intense it was unbearable. She needed more power, more superiority, more depth-

As if of its own accord, Sharpay's knee was suddenly shoved roughly between Kelsi's legs. The young girl yelped and whimpered into Sharpay's mouth, clawing roughly and the wall. She was moving again, but definitely not in a way that suggested she was trying to escape this time, and Sharpay picked up on it quickly and snaked an arm around Kelsi's slender hip, pulling her forward and grinding against her with her knee. Kelsi's mouth was wide open, her moans muffled by Sharpay's continued assault on her lips. From nowhere, it seemed, the hand that Sharpay had once held captive was free, and was clawing at her back heatedly, like a child begging for attention. Sharpay sank her teeth into Kelsi's neck again, scattering bites from her jaw down to her bare, thought-provoking shoulder. Now her free hand was pushing up under Kelsi's shirt, feeling greedily at the smooth, unexplored sides and stomach underneath. The prospects were intoxicating, and even as her imagination took off, her leg tensed and she became aware that Kelsi was forming a steady rhythm with her, pushing hard against her knee, which was now rather indecently hot and sticky…

The spell broke and Sharpay blanched, shoving Kelsi back so forcefully that she hit the wall and sank slightly down on it. She stood there, panting roughly, her hair falling out of its bun, glasses askew, cheeks flushed and covered in glowering red hickeys, her shirt and skirt pulled up and down and out of place, staring back with those same deer-in-the-headlights freaked out eyes, looking so inexcusably fuckable that it made Sharpay want to scream. Her voice of reason seemed to finally have returned from its vacation, and it was not happy to see what she'd done with the house while it was away. She wanted to slap Kelsi now… and yet, there was still a power-hungry part of her ready to leap back in, rip her stupid little tank top off and finish the job. The thought sent tremors all the way through Sharpay's body, ending rather forcefully between her thighs. She felt the need to get the fuck out, run like mad and concoct a plan to counter what people would say if they found out what had almost happened… and yet all she could do was stare, much as all Kelsi could do was stare back. The two girls stood, gasping for breath, eyes locked in a sort of confused appraisal, and perhaps a questioning of reality as well. Finally, Sharpay spoke, and was astounded and furious to hear how low and broken it sounded.

"Just… stay out of my way Nielsen. Keep your mouth shut and stay the fuck out of my way."

She whipped around and stormed out of the room, feeling Kelsi's eyes searching her as she did so. She plowed her way down the hall, with a look on her face that warned everyone in the vicinity that she was not to be deterred just now. It was an expression that she had become very good at sporting- indeed, groups of students were parting and backing down at her approach. She forced her way into the girl's bathroom at the end of the hall, threw a furious glance at a pair of sophomores touching up their makeup, who fled promptly, and shut herself into the stall with a slam.

She'd really screwed herself over. Gotten carried away. Well... alright, carried away was a bit of an understatement. Of all the times she's lost her temper, she was definitely pinning this one as most detrimental. She was usually good at keeping her anger within the comfortable fields of kicking and screaming. But this… this was a most daunting fuck-uppance, well out of her standards. She had to think of something, had to figure out a way out of it. The only problem was that the dull ache of arousal still throbbing between her legs was preventing her from thinking much of anything that did not involve naked, wide-eyed composers and dusty greenroom floors.

With an impatient sigh, the girl slid a hand down the front of her designer jeans. She'd gotten decently good at keeping her breathing under control in situations like these, when the problem arose at inopportune moments. Why would she let herself suffer through it when it was faster, easier, and, frankly, felt a lot better, to give her body what it wanted? She wasn't ever stingy with herself. She sat there, in the midst of her stress and anguish, legs straining, her strokes far less precise than usual. She hated how wet she was, how good it felt to imagine driving into Kelsi as she lay powerless. Her head was swimming, she was seeing red, everything was dissolving into some impossible erotic nightmare… until, all at once, she came with an inaudible gasp, and everything turned to white noise.

Sharpay sat in the cubicle far after the sixth period bell rang, leaning against the red plastic wall, staring at the floor. She would simply deny everything. When looked at from an outside perspective, the whole thing was so farfetched that it would be a cinch to pin it on someone, anyone else. Any girl at East High could have hickeys all up and down them at any point - a lot of girls were especially bad at hiding them, and a few didn't even bother. It was high school, kids were always escaping into cars and empty classrooms. Moreover, she was definitely the last person anyone would suspect, for obvious reasons. She was positive that Kelsi wouldn't tell anyone - she hardly opened her mouth to talk about trivial things, much less something as personal as this - and even if she did say anything, who on earth would believe her? It would be easy enough for Sharpay to simply call her an attention-seeking freshman opting for her fame, and nobody would give it another thought. As her problem became less and less daunting, her feelings of fear and upset were turned instead to an entirely different subject - that of Sharpay's own actions, and why they had happened.

Sharpay was not really a stranger to the whole idea of being gay. Theatre and homosexuality were always somewhat intertwined in the public eye to some degree, and as a person growing up in the theatre community, she'd met her fair share of swingers. For all she knew, her own brother was probably gay, what with the number of questionable situations he'd been found in, and the idea never exactly bothered her. She knew very much that she was attracted to men - and who wouldn't be? The idea of her sexuality being anything other than straight simply hadn't crossed her mind. Truthfully, she preferred it that way - abnormality made the world a very cruel place, especially the high school world, and the idea of being alienated for something she didn't even consider to be a factor in her life was a very disturbing prospect.

She thought about what Kelsi had made her feel, and it reassured her slightly. She was not in love, or anything of the sort. She did not have a crush on the girl, she felt no form of affection for her. All the feelings she harbored were those of domination, of power, and of irritation. Was she really even attracted to Kelsi, or was all of this just a big whacked out power trip on Sharpay's part? Sharpay usually fell for beautiful, impressive, and confident people- and Kelsi was none of these things. And here was this twisted connection, out of nowhere, messing with Sharpay's rock solid sense of self. She allowed herself a single indulgent moment to re-visit the imagery that had plagued her moments before, thinking that now that the moment of passionate anger had passed, it would have lost its grandeur. She built Kelsi's slender body, tangled in itself, sitting in the greenroom with a hand up her skirt, eyes shut tightly behind lopsided glasses, biting her lip and straining-

Warm surges bid Sharpay's legs to kick the cubicle door down and run to the greenroom; she resisted. Alright. So she was attracted. She'd had the fatal taste, and she was cursed by her mistake. She was just going to have to wrangle it under control. She'd been infatuated a million times and it usually subsided before long. Everything would blow over, and this would be some insignificant footnote on her impressive personal resume.

Assuming she got through today, of course. And assuming, too, that Kelsi kept her pretty little mouth shut.