For Ellie
Excuse me for this, I just wanna kiss
She ran her hands over the hull of my boat. There was something in the way that her hands moved over the smooth wood that made me want to take that moment and freeze it, keeping it locked away in a drawer for the rest of my life. She turned her head and looked at me, a small guilty smile gracing her lips, as if she had been caught doing something she shouldn't. But she hadn't, true, I had come home to find her in my basement, but it wasn't something she shouldn't be doing, she was allowed anywhere she wanted, especially in my house, running her small delicate hands over my handiwork. I smiled back and walked towards her, handing her one of the sanding blocks. She grinned as she took it and slowly worked it up and down the boat, like I had once taught her.
Don't move
I want to remember you just like this
Don't move
It's only a breath or two between our lips
I took her hands off the boat and she looked worried, like I was telling her that she was doing something wrong, but I just wanted to feel her hands on me. I held her hands in mine, reveling in the warmth of them. She curled her fingers around mine. I pulled her closer to me and she lifted her face, looking at me with those big green eyes of hers, eyes that drive me crazy.
I know why you left
I can't blame you myself
Must be hard living with ghosts and such an empty shell
I tried to warn you
I've been a mess since you've known me
I can't promise forever
But I'm working on it
I wanted to tell her I understood everything that had happened between us, I wanted her to know that I understood it must have been hard for her, wanted her to understand what I mess I was, and that I was trying to be better, better for her. The ghosts of Shannon and Kelly used to haunt this house, haunt me, but they were slowly receding, not to be forgotten, never forgotten, but remembered. I placed my hands on her face, pulling her closer still, till our lips were almost touching. I felt her stiffen slightly, as if unwilling to let herself be caught up in the moment, but I held on. I wanted to close the gap between us, both gaps, the minute one between our lips and the large abyss that had been caused by years apart, but I knew if I did, I wouldn't be able to hold back, I would want more, I always had with her.
I see that you're torn
I've got some scars of my own
Seems I want what, I know is gonna leave me hungry
I hold back, not kissing her like I want to until she breathes her request, kiss me, like I knew she would,and I willingly oblige, gently at first, wanting to prolong this moment for as long as possible. I try to instill every single one of my feelings into that kiss, hoping that she will feel them. She does because her hands wind into my hair and she steps closer to me, until there is nothing between us except clothes.
All I have
All I can give to you, I will
Just promise me this
If I can't have forever
Can I have a kiss
She pulls away and places a hand on my face, smiling easily up at me. I will never get tired of that smile, that smile that says that she understands everything, that she is going to stay, that I am forgiven for being a bastard and that she knows that she is forgiven. Everything else fades into the back ground as she pulls me in for another kiss, and I think, for a fleeting moment before I give in completely, that I must have done something right in my life.
I can't promise forever
But I'm working on it
If I can't hold you
Can I give you a kiss?
The words are from Can I Have A Kiss? by Kelly Clarkson.
V!
xox