The light went off in the first floor room, and that was enough for Annalise to finally have courage to knock on the door. It meant that Isaac was alone, had no clients, and no awkwardness was expected. He may not open the door, he has a right to. He can stay inside, go upstairs, fall asleep and never think of her again. No more courts and complicated cases, no problems, no risks, no night invasions. Dear Gods. Annalise knocked again. She didn't want to let him decide so soon if he was eager to stop seeing her or not. She didn't know herself what she was so afraid of, as she came here before – she was sometimes ashamed and feeling out of place, but came anyway, just because she didn't have elsewhere to go. She's didn't notice when her therapist's office became the only place she could come to – he must have been doing his job perfectly, and that's all. Could there be any other reason? Barely.
The light in the corridor goes on. He does open the door.
"Good evening".
Isaac was truly surprised every time she came, whatever time was. Sometimes he couldn't even fall asleep, thinking Annalise would come. He was concerned about her sobriety more than the others', and definitely more than himself. Not because she was risking the most – not at all. He didn't spend time searching for reasons, as he already knew them. Felt them. He couldn't sleep. Probably it's because her health inflicts life of other people, not only herself. She doesn't have effect on close people, which would be bearable, but she's got clients and all that class action… there's almost nobody by her side, apart from… And she is a truly remarkable lawyer, always so chewed up with fates of her clients... What a waste would it be to lose her only because of alcohol!
Sometimes Isaac lets himself think about other things, and it's becoming even harder to fall asleep.
"Good evening. I'm sorry for doing this again."
He would let her in silently if he was calm – or trying to be – she passed him by, leaving her bag and clothes on an armchair or not taking her coat off at all. Sometimes she would open the door herself and Isaac would just find her in the corridor, greet her, and still let her in, trying not to show how surprised or, what's worse, glad he is to see her.
If she comes still, he has to be a truly good therapist. Could there be any other reason? Barely.
"No. It's okay. Please, do come in".
Once again Annalise tells him about her students and Bonnie. Isaac hopes she doesn't speak about Wes, as it would hurt them both. This relationship itself is hard on him already: he asked Annalise not to come multiply, but she comes anyway, and he doesn't have guts to turn her out of doors. Why does he keep believing her? Why doesn't he reject her? Why doesn't he ask the Disciplinary Board to find her another therapist?
Probably, he just doesn't want to.
He probably wants to help her himself.
He matches so perfectly.
Nate and Bonnie avoid seeing her, but Isaac's listening so closely, like he doesn't want their sessions to end despite all his words. That's why he keeps letting her in. That's why he doesn't say anything against it. She doesn't want it too. Annalise can't bare a thought of losing him, and she's going to drink, and there's barely someone who could help her. How can she know that another therapist isn't Denver's errand boy and doesn't want to ruin her completely? Isaac matches her perfectly as they are so alike. It definitely was not only about Wes and Stella, but Annalise could not figure out what was so special about him. If she tells something that hurts him, she can easily hate herself. He's not to blame for her trusting him, he's not to blame for her needing him. He has all the rights to leave, but she will fight for him till he moves to another country and changes identity, because she needs him. But that's not what Isaac would do.
It must be that she's fighting for him so hard simply because he's a really good therapist, that's all. Annalise puts that phrase on repeat, but doesn't believe it herself. Sam's dancing in front of her eyes. Isaac's not Sam, but that barely matters. You don't let a therapist in your life, however good they are, allowing them to fix loads of old mistakes and making new ones.
The lights go off again. Annalise leaves, and it's so warm in her soul. She doesn't know why. The light in her soul shines, and it never goes out. It shines so brightly that it's almost blinding. It distracts from sleeping. Them both.