Just A Little Girl.
AN: I wrote this the other night when I was a little stressed- writing FanFiction is great stress relief! Chances are is it absolutely rubbish, OOC drivel but I figured that, having written it, I might as well do something with it. Please don't flame. ConCrit only!
Full Summary: A snapshot of an argument, presuming a relationship between Hermione and Snape during her 7th year. The relationship is born from a marriage law-forcing a marriage for the two- that was quickly repealed when the minister was exposed as under the Imperious curse. Their marriage was annulled but the damage of living in close quarters was done.
The Break Down.
"You never cared before; never wanted to hear the other side of the story but now you'll listen Snape." She spat his name like a bullet from her lips.
"It was always my fault, always my problem. So why, pray tell, would you want to keep this…" Hermione was lost for words with which to describe it-it certainly wasn't a healthy relationship. "This thing alive?!"
She glared at his figure, seemingly deaf to her words. He was leant against the fireplace looking into the flames, still as a statue.
"I've given you everything; all the love I can, all the understanding. Bu it's still not enough is it Severus? You think I'm so much like her that I'm like her substitute both now and, I bet, in the past. I reckon you see me as the cause of your pain but I won't allow this to happen- I've tried before so guess what? I. Give. Up.
You will NOT draw me into your past again!
He never once turned around. During the entire tirade he'd never even flinched.
She approached, incensed by his nonchalance.
"Well?"
As that imperious accusation flew from her mouth like a poisoned dart, he spun; fire bursting in his eyes- their smouldering not unlike the fires of hell, she thought whimsically.
'Snap out of it girl!'
"ENOUGH!" That one word shocked her, his anger evident in the two syllables. "This-all this," he gestured around them sharply, "is all I will take. You just don't get it do you 'Hermione', you'll never understand these blasted demons I face. Do you even try as you attempt to claim? Why would you care? I'm just the Bloody Greasy Bat of the Dungeons after all! Go ahead then, leave. Go find Potter or Weasley and bat your eyelashes beguilingly at them."
His contempt was clear; a curled lip saying more than a thousand words.
"Lie about me, if you must. Say I was horrible or something. I don't know and I don't care. This-us- was a mistake."
She was staring at him, silenced, amazed at the darkness and the bitterness pouring from him relentlessly. He continued, oblivious.
"I foolishly thought that everything you are- everything you were- could make this work but it turns out you're just 'Another. Little. Girl.'
He'd finally snapped: he wasn't an unfeeling statue; his self control could only last so long. Pausing for breath, Severus saw that she'd turned and approached the door. Throwing himself into a chair, he stared at the fireplace.
How had it gone so wrong? Silly question; it always went wrong; he was cursed, trapped sure enough. He might as well have been in Azkaban for all the freedom he had from his past and his fears.
Severus was shocked from all his morose musings when she half whispered in a final manner, "I never meant for you to feel the way; these times, these Decembers of our… relationship… should have been just that; temporary. Not nails in the coffin!
It's not a question of who is wrong and what is right in the end. Ignore everything else I say Severus, but just…remember this, OK? Time cannot heal what you refuse to recognise yourself. I'm sorry, but this is all I can handle." Her voice cracked on a surprisingly high note.
"Go ahead and shield yourself; lie to the world about how you feel" Hermione brushed a few stray tears angrily from her face.
"Eugh, silly little girl. Crying?"
"Believe you're right Severus Snape! If that's the only way you can cope believe it, but you know inside—" He cut her off furious. Rising from his chair in fury.
"Don't you dare judge me Hermione Jane Granger." He hissed. "I'm what; twice your age? You weren't even born when I lived my past- it is mypast. Go home little girl. This is too big for you." He whispered- so quiet that she almost didn't hear it- "This is too big for anyone."
He turned his back on her resolutely; glad in a way to have finally revealed himself yet devastated that such a good thing was going nowhere.
"We're finished."
She sighed. The door opened with a moan and he was shocked at what he head next. Just a gentle whisper, heavy with finality; "you know, despite everything you are and aren't, you'll always have the love of this so called 'little girl', At least that can't be destroyed."
With that resigned pledge she left like a pale phantom. She left his room, his chambers and his life.
It was only then, alone in his once comforting but now desolate chambers, that he realised that maybe-just maybe- she wasn't such a little girl after all- Hermione Granger was a beautiful, intelligent, loving woman and he had lost her. Hell, not even lost her but actually driven her away.
He flung a glass of brandy he hadn't even realised he'd poured into the wall. His heart shattered with the glass.
"You FOOL."