Author Notes: I hope none of you are offended, but I know my friends will be. This is my first fanfic EVER, so please be kind! Thank you so much...I wrote this while at camp and langweiling myself (getting bored in german). I was without internet for an ENTIRE MONTH!! :'( It was horrible. Anyways, you should probably not be reading these stupid notes and reading my fanfic, so get to it! whischish (whip noise) (jk)

Other: Do not own Bleach or any of the characters, just the words that come together in this story!

A large explosion rattled the captain chamber.

"There goes the roof again. Do you know how much those repairs are COSTING us?" Byakuya scowled.

Yamamoto flinched and his eye twitched and he sighed. "I told him that that was his last warning. Byakuya, take a vice-captain and bring Ichigo in for punishment. He can't keep milking his honorary membership of Soul Society like this."

"Yes, sir!" Byakuya shot from his seat and took off running in the direction of the vice-captian apartments. He considered choosing another vice-captain as he reached for the buzzer. He hovered over it, and finally pressed the buzzer of his recent partner.

"Yeah?"

"You are needed immediately"

"Who is this? No, wait-"

"This is a command. Come down immediately."

"NOW!!"

Renji opened the door, wearing only a towel. Byakuya swallowed hard as his eyes found his wet muscular chest. Byakuya's whole demeanor changed and he assumed a girly stance, pulling his hair back into a ponytail.

"RENJI!!" Byakuya squealed. He put his arms around his neck and leaned forward as his leg rose into the air. Renji quickly unentangled himself from Byakuya and backed away slowly, an disgusted and angry expression on his face.

"Didn't I tell you to control yourself? Your desires are none of my concern. Was there something you wanted?"

"Yes! YOUUUUU!!"

Byakuya lept at Renji with an unreserving look of pure adoration on his face. Renji quickly stepped aside, letting Byakuya crash into the ground.

Byakuya slowly got up, a blush creeping across his face.

"I'm sorry for that unpleasant interruption. Anyway, Ichigo blew the roof off of the girl's changing rooms again. He can't even PEEK quietly. We saw carrot-top from half a mile away. Your assistance is required to escort him to the captain's chamber. Let us leave immediately."

"Um...have you forgotten? I'm in a towel."

"Fine, change, before I do. You've got about 3 seconds."

The door slammed shut and thumping was heard inside. Byakuya could hear whispering, and pressed his ear against the door to hear:

"...sugaya, you've got to go! We can't be seen like this or Byakuya will-"

"TOO LATE!!"

Byakuya forced the door open with his Ban Kai: Fanboy form. Hot pink roses filled the doorway and made their way toward Hitsugaya as Hitsugaya shouted:

"It's not what you think!"