I made my way toward my first period class, feeling very angry and irritated at Edward's maneuver the night before. He and his brothers, Emmet and Jasper, along with their father, Carlisle, went on a weekend hunting trip but he had bribed his sister, Alice, with a brand new expensive car to keep an eye on me.
I should have known something was up, when she had picked me up from school with music blaring, a maneuver she used so she could not hear the questions I asked about where Edward was until I was safely locked in her moving car, her all the while feigning innocence, until reaching her house and seeing the most expensive gift.
She wouldn't admit that she would basically be my guard dog, not just for this weekend but for every time Edward was away. All because he did not want me to visit my best friend, who has always been there for me and who I basically betrayed.
In a way I could understand where he was coming from, I could not in all honesty claim to love Jacob as just a friend anymore. I always thought he deserved better than me, though Jacob keeps telling me otherwise. I am the only girl he would ever see, so he says.
The dreams I have been having lately, with Edward spending almost every night in my room, and me being the sleep talker I am, I wondered just what I had said to put him on edge.
When I asked him about his insistence that I not visit Jacob, his reply was always that he fears for my safety around the wolves, which was ridiculous, Jacob would never hurt me, none of the wolves would, they had protected me with their lives from the red headed vampire, Victoria, who is still hunting me, mate for mate. Edward killed her mate and now she's after his, me.
This made me stop and think, because being with Edward again did not give me the same thrill it use to. I am not even sure if it ever did. It's like the feelings I had for him were forced on me, almost like a drug. Can vampires do that, I thought?
Maybe that is how they lure and capture human prey. That would explain my doing all those crazy, desperate things just to hear his voice. It was a drug and I was looking for my next fix... God I was a mess!
If it wasn't for Jake, I don't know how I would have survived. I truly do love him. What kind of person am I? As soon as the Cullens came back, I abandoned Jake and the wolves, the ones who had protected me, treated me like family, and I left them for their enemy. I even wanted to become like their enemy. That is something I certainly don't want anymore.
I had stomped in the house, mad enough to punch a vampire, though I know it would have hurt me more than them, insisted on using Alice's cell phone, whether she liked it or not, and I called Jake, informing him that our plans to spend the next day together would have to be postponed because of my kidnapping, though the worst thing that would happen to me would be suffering through one of Alice's makeovers.
It broke my heart to hear how sad he sounded. He told me I should try to sneak away, but I told him it would be impossible because Alice would know before I even tried. He thought that was ridiculous until I told him about Alice being able to see the future, but for some reason she could not see the wolves, which is one of the main reasons Edward did not like it when I hung out with them. They could not see what I was up to.
It shocked but pleased him that the vamps could not see the wolves, so they could have some secrets from them, though they were not safe from Edward's mind reading.
After hanging up on a sad note with Jake, I called Edward even though Alice informed me he would not have his phone on him while he was hunting. It did not make a difference to me. I called anyway and left a very threatening message before handing the phone back to Alice.
We spent the rest of the night watching movies and Alice gave everyone a manicure and a pedicure. When I was too tired to stay up any longer, Alice led me up to Edward's room, where I thought I would be sleeping on his black leather couch, but to my surprise in its place was a very large iron canopy king-sized bed. I thought it was ridiculous in a house of people, well vampires, who did not sleep.
That made me angrier because I realized this had been planned ahead of time. Edward had no plans of allowing me to spend the day with Jacob at all. He had lied to me, again! He was so controlling and it had gotten ridiculous. His way or no way, it did not matter what I wanted, it never did.
I put up with it at first because he loved me and wanted to keep me safe, but now I have had it. This was not love. This was an obsession and I said as much to Alice, before politely saying goodnight and closing the door in her face.
I walked over to the bed, amazed as I noticed my over night bag. They thought of everything. I grabbed it and went to prepare for bed, knowing I probably would not be getting any sleep whatsoever.
When I had finished, I made my way to the bed, pulled the comforter and a pillow from it and made my way over to the couch that was pushed against the wall. I had no intentions of sleeping on that bed tonight.
I closed my eyes and thoughts of the future began running through my mind. Graduation was in a week, I had agreed to marry Edward soon after, it was the only way he would agree to turn me, making me one of them. It was the only way we could be together, without him accidentally killing me. I had wanted to spend eternity with him. But now...I'm not so sure.
Jake has been on my mind constantly. There is no way I could stay away from Jake. With him, I found I could live without Edward, but even with Edward here, there is no way I could live without Jake.
I had realized that I did want to have kids of my own someday and I didn't want to give up being able to sleep and dream with the one I loved, or having a family meal, and I didn't want to give up the people I loved, causing them pain. I didn't want to give up my dad, mom, and my friends. It would be selfish.
I didn't want to give up everything in my life that made me who I was, the experiences, memories, and people that has added so much that makes me...me. When someone or something new comes into your life, it should add to it, whether good or bad, not take away from it. Shouldn't it? Not completely change who you are...right? With those thoughts running through my mind, I had actually managed to fall asleep.
I woke up with a splitting headache the next morning with Alice shaking me awake saying we would be late for school if we did not hurry. I rushed through my morning ritual, managing to escape being Alice's Barbie doll for once. The ride to school was quiet. She realized my mood and left me alone, saying she would see me at lunch. I knew she would be checking my future, to make sure I did not try to escape to La Push.
I was walking toward my first class, not in any real hurry, when I heard a commotion behind me and the sound of a loud engine. It sounded like a motor bike. I turned and looked behind me and there was Jake, in all his glory, dressed in black jeans, biker boots and wearing a shirt for once.
"Bella, come on," he hollered at me over the sound of his engine.
"What are you doing here Jake?" I asked, shocked, but was very happy to see him and my heart leapt at the sight of him.
"I'm here to rescue you, come on!"
I turned and looked behind me. There was Alice, with a pleading look on her face as if asking me not to go.
"I'm sorry Alice. I have to!" I shouted to her as I ran and jumped on the back of the bike, wrapping my arms around Jake's waist, holding on for dear life as he sped away from the school and Alice.
My heart felt light for the first time in a long time, I felt free. We laughed like fools as he sped away, not slowing down until he made it over the border that separated the vampire territory from the wolves.