A/N: Oh my god. I told you this would happen. I made another crack fanfiction. God bless you poor souls reading this fanfiction.
I literally do not know why I am doing this.
Jungkook had no idea what he had done wrong in his life to deserve this. One moment he was doing his thing being an adorable little hip hop K-idol, the next he was being dragged through some pink school Jin had found with a bunch of girls squealing about how cute he was.
Did I mention they were young teenagers again for some reason?
Well the more you know.
V didn't really look like he cared, being blank face V again. Suga was half-asleep so he didn't really know what was going on at all. Rap Monster was probably just as unamused as Jungkook was. J-Hope was still very happy and excited, waving to the screaming girls and just all around being J-Hope.
Shit I don't know enough about Jimin. I'm sorry Jimin fans. SO I'ma just say that Jimin was being the thigh God of the Universe and doing Jimin things.
"Hyung why are we here?" asked Jungkook.
"Um learning. Duh." Jin replied.
"Hyung you are literally a teenager again does that not strike you as odd?" Kookie asked.
"Ha nope!" J-Hope replied for 'everyone'.
"Oh hey look something extremely convenient as a segway to a scene that our author actually can write about because she knows it well!"
"Wait what?" asked Rap Monster.
Tamaki was staring at the new students through a pair of gigantic binoculars, wondering who they were and why they were so beautiful and perfect.
Okay that last part was a lie and a truth at the same time. He wasn't wondering this because it was already a given fact. Bangtan Boys are beautiful and perfect though. I mean, look at how hard it is to pick a bias! I CAN'T DO IT! AGHHHH!
"Wait! They're heading towards the club room! Maybe I can trick them I MEAN ENTICE them into joining!" Tamaki almost yelled, and started hauling ass towards Music Room 3.
Kyoya and, the still very fictional, Light looked up from Kyoya's book when they heard the door slam shut and Tamaki's very heavy breathing.
"What did you do this time?" Light asked.
"Nothing! New meat coming this way!" Tamaki panted.
Kyoya coughed awkwardly, trying to pretend he did not know Tamaki at all. With Light's face formed into something of pure concern. "What?" she asked.
"There's no time to question that! Quick! Help me clean up the room before the beautiul new boys get her!" Tamaki exclaimed, once again running off to get the cleaning supplies for Haruhi, who had just walked out from the back room.
Light turned towards Kyoya, with the same expression as before. "You're sure he's not gay? Or bi?"
"I don't know anymore." Kyoya replied, with his face falling balls deep into his black book. "I wasn't even aware there would be new students."
With that, Light slowly turned towards the fourth wall with a small glare on her face. She shook her head at the idiot author with disgust before turning back to Kyoya like nothing ever happened. She laughed at his misfortune, trying to get back into character before the author drastically changed it...again.
Within five minutes, the door opened again revealing seven admittedly handsome young men. Light could immediately tell they were Korean, and felt a sense of familiarity with them. The only Koreans she had met before were girls so she wondered why they were so familiar. She brushed this off quickly, not really wanting to question reality anymore.
"Sup?" Light asked, realizing Kyoya was awestruck by the beauty of Bangtan.
"LIGHT THAT'S NOT HOW WE TREAT NEW GUESTS! OR NEW STUDENTS!" Tamaki screeched from across the room.
"...that is literally how I greet people every day." Light replied, after a brief pause. "Also look at em. It screams hip hop." she gestured to the candy coloured punk hair of some of the members, and the ear piercings on literally all the members ears. Oh and you know, judging by their clothes it was obvious.
"LIGHT DON'T JUDGE THEM BY APPEARANCES!" Tamaki screamed again.
Light rolled her eyes and turned back to the Bangtan boys.
"He's an idiot don't mind him. So who are you?" Light asked.
It took all their strength not to introduce themselves as the Bangtan Boys, as that would raise a lot of questions.
"I'm Ra- I mean Namjoon." Rap monster said.
"My names Taehyung nice to meet you." V said, bowing.
"Hello I'm Hoseok but you can call be Hobi!" J-Hope excitedly yelled, waving animatedly before bowing too.
Light, though the boys didn't know this, understood where this was going and was trying not to grin widely. BTS was some of her favourite people alive, aside from Jacksepticeye and Markiplier so this one if the greatest things to ever happen at Ouran in her opinion.
"I'm Jimin nice to meet you!" Jimin said, following the bowing pattern.
"I'm Yoongi." Suga tiredly said, waving.
"Hello I am the ever beautiful Seokjin but you may call me Jin." Jin said, doing a hair flip.
Jungkook kind of just stared and cringed. Like hardcore cringing. So much cringe you could feel it in Canada.
"Aww Kookie what's wrong?" Jimin asked.
"Yeah Jungkook you're only this awkward around girls." J-Hope said.
They then looked slowly towards Light who snorted very loudly, proceeding to hide her face in her hands so Bangtan didn't see her laughing.
She failed miserably at this, obviously.
"You guys literally figured this out way quicker than anyone in this club." Light said through her quickly escaping giggles.
"Wait so you are a girl? How long did it take them?" V asked.
"I dunno a couple of days. When I told them I was some people were surprised so I don't really know the specific time. Also I'm Light." she replied, thinking about the time she literally had to tell Tamaki she was a girl so her bare chest wasn't displayed in front of the school. Ah good times in NIRVANA!
*massive guitar rifts*
"This dork with his face balls deep in a book is Kyoya. The blonde that keeps screaming at me to be 'more culturally accepting' is Tamaki. The brunette trying to escape the room is Haruhi and the two gingers are Hikaru and Kaoru. Welcome to our Weeb club." Light explained, gesturing to the rest of the club.
"ITS THE HOST CLUB!" Tamaki once again yelled.
"Same thing." Light replied.
Tamaki began crying in the corner, seriously concerning the boys. When Light saw it she waved it off nonchalantly.
"Don't worry he'll get over it in a few seconds. All you gotta do is call him boss or King." Light said.
Light nudged Kyoya somewhat violently, trying to get his attention.
"It's your turn this time. He wouldn't let go of me for five minutes the last time I did it." she said.
Kyoya grumbled angrily, before peeling his face off his book and stomping over to the moping Tamaki.
The ginger twins took this moment to slink over to Light and BTS, draping their arms over Light.
"So. Flirting with the new guys, chicken legs senpai?" they asked.
"How many FUCKING times do I have to tell you not to touch me or call me that before I rain fire upon you?" Light slowly asked.
The twins gulped, not wanting to disturb Satan and ran away as quickly as they came.
"That's what I thought you little shits." Light whispered, glaring in their directions.
"So what bring you to our noble Host Club?" Tamaki asked, suddenly beside Light.
She made a peace sign and walked away with a deadpan expression.
"If you need me I'll be listening to BTS music." Light said.
The boys seized up slightly, but Tamaki was too much of an idiot to notice. Instead he smiled widely waiting for an answer.
"We literally have no idea where we're going." Rapmon replied.
"Well what year are you fine men in?" Tamaki asked.
"Uh, Jin, Hobi and I are in third year." Suga replied. I think.
"Jimin, Taehyung and I are second years." Rapmon guessed.
"Aw Kookie is all alone in first year." J-Hope sadly said, pouting for a moment.
Jungkook didn't really look like he cared.
"That's alright. Just because he's in a different class doesn't mean you can't all get together!" Tamaki said.
"And with that information I can confirm that Tamaki, Light and I will be with Jin Yoongi and Hoseok. Haruhi, Hikaru and Kaoru will be with Namjoon, Taehyung and Jimin." Kyoya said.
"That still leaves the poor kid alone, Glasses." Light threw in, somehow still hearing the conversation through the loud blasting of DOPE.
"Isn't Honey-senpai's brother in first year?" Kaoru asked.
"Yeah but Chika has zero chill." Light replied.
"And what about Mori's brother?" asked Hikaru.
"Mori has a brother?!" Light yelled.
Before anyone could answer her very important question, the bells loudly ran signalling it was time to get your rich asses to class.
For some reason the club felt like it was necessary for two people to lead Jungkook to his class, leaving Light alone with Jin, Suga and J-Hope, and the twins and Haruhi with Rap Monster, V and Jimin.
It was relatively quiet with the third years, not so much for the second years. Jungkook looked like he was giving up on humanity with all the girls screams and Tamaki's incessant talking. Kyoya probably felt the same.
"Oh yeah. No one outside of the club and a couple choice people I'll show you know I'm a girl so can you pretend I'm a dude?" Light asked.
"Sure. If that's what you want." Suga said nonchalantly.
"Awesome. Thanks." Light said, walking into their class.
"On behalf of all the same students in this school, I apologize." Light said, before proceeding to walk over to a Korean girl with bright red hair and a blonde girl.
It only took a moment for them to understood what Light meant, almost immediately being bombarded with questions and girl squeals when the girls in the class saw them. The male student seemed to also be awestruck by their awesomeness and beauty, as their mouths were hanging open.
Without really knowing what exactly they were doing with their life choices, the three Bangtan third years quickly made their way over to Light, which made the squeals quickly stop.
They wondered why.
"Those are the new guys?" the blonde asked.
"Yeah." Light replied.
"Why do they look like J-Hope, Suga and Jin from BTS?" the Korean girl asked.
The three boys laughed nervously, fearing they had been caught already. Also it was a surprise someone here other than Light knew about them.
"I'm going to ignore the fact that you said that and continue on." Light replied while the boys were thinking.
"These are Hobi, Jin...and...Yoon...holy shit." Light whispered.
The two ARMYs slowly let the fact that teenage BTS was standing by them and tried very VERY hard not to fangirl.
The boys didn't seem to notice.
"Yeah these are some of those people I was telling you about. These are Penny and Yeri." Light said to the boys after getting over her fangirl attack.
"Nice to meet you." The three said.
"Likewise." Penny and Yeri replied.
At that moment, a teacher walked in the room and wrote his name on the chalkboard. This teacher looked like a gigantic asswipe, wearing a freaking red striped POLO shirt (yes a fucking polo) and jeans that were probably very old, and green crocs that were probably equally as old.
A gay space alien named Kanaya probably would have cringed if she saw him.
The teacher stepped back, revealing his name to be Mr Conroy, and turned around to face the class with a shit eating grin.
"Hey everybody, I'm your new History teacher since the last one was driven to the insanity called becoming a J-pop star!" Mr Conroy said.
Well. The assumption wasn't wrong. This guy was a total douche muffin. Well, it's probably more of a culturally insensitive, elitist/ raving douche, but you get the idea.
Light couldn't wait to ruin his life.
Without giving any time for exposition, Mr Conroy started going off on a rant about the Sun goddess Amaterasu and some asshole named Ooriti (?) Ootori? Oh wait...it was Oorochi. There was something about turning into a wolf and a magical paintbrush, and also art direction. By that point no one was really listening anymore nor did anyone really care.
However, since Mr Conroy was a raving douche, he slammed his weak hands upon his desk and shrieked with the volume of 0.0000009 rage sphincters, "HEY! Why aren't you listening to me?"
"Well if you wanted to just tell us the premise of Okami then we would have looked it up on Wikipedia. No one cares." Light groaned, looking up from her cellphone.
Mr Conroy walked up to Light's desk, trying to stand over her menacingly. "What's your name?" he asked.
"Light Minasae. Sass Master of Ouran and your worst nightmare." Light replied, smiling at a picture of Markiplier that caught her eye from a tumblr feed.
"Light no." Kyoya whispered.
"Light YES! And when did you get here?" she yelled, standing up very quickly and striking a doofy pose.
"While you were talking to your friends and the new students." Kyoya replied.
It was that moment that Mr Conroy realized he was fucked, seeing as Light was standing at about the same height as he was. Little did he know that Light was a girl AND all talk, but he never will because he'll probably end up quitting a month into the year.
"Oh look it's already time to leave. Bye my new favourite teacher!" Light said, grinning like a certain blind teal blooded troll while picking up her stuff and taking her leave.
Mr Conroy confirmed he had made a huge mistake and began sobbing quietly in a corner.
The Bangtan boys in Light's class were somewhat weary of what just happened. When they saw Light's very casual smile and walk it struck them as odd but they continued on anyways. Light was a strange character but she didn't seem like she was harmful in any way.
Well, actually physically harmful.
"LIGHTY-POO!" a brunette girl screamed, running towards Light. The girl in question's face turned back to her unamused state and rolled (rolled?!) out of the way of the charging brunette girl.
"Tatania how many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?" Light sighed.
"I've asked about five times if I recall correctly." Tatania replied.
"What do you want?" Light asked.
"I heard you're hanging out with some really hot new kids. My sources seem to be right." Tatania replied, trying to seductively smile at Suga.
Suga cringed and quickly began talking to Jin and J-Hope to escape the horrors of this Tatania girl before anything got out of hand.
"Go to your class Tatania." Light deadpanned sensing Suga's pain.
Tatania pouted, about to protest, but found she was standing alone. When she looked to the side she could see Light, Yeri and Penny quickly ushering J-Hope, Suga and Jin away with Tamaki and Kyoya trying to keep up.
/
"I know you're probably all still in Spring Break mode, but this is your final year of high school, Suoh, you need to do your project." Sensei Liu said.
Tamaki dropped on the ground, while Kyoya unwillingly patted his shoulder, in pain.
"Also can you, Ootori and Minasae pair up with the new boys to show them how this class usually works?" Sensei Liu asked.
"Sensei that's probably the worst idea you've ever had. Why would you want my shenanigans anywhere near the new kids?" Light asked.
"Because, Minasae, though they are annoying sometimes your shenanigans are great." Sensei Liu said.
Light grinned at Kyoya maniacally.
"I told you! This is why Liu is the best teacher ever!" she said. "Also she listens to Kpop."
The three BTS members already knew about aimless shenanigans - Bangtan Bombs are full of them. They weren't really sure if they were ready for these ones though.
"Well I will, as the commoners say, take one for the team and work with Jin." Tamaki said, dragging his desk over to Jin and mowing at least three students over in the process. You could practically see the sparkles coming out of Tamaki's eyes.
Kyoya and Light looked between each other, with similar expressions of determination.
"I call Hobi." Light whispered, in a totally non threatening way.
"I wanted to work with him." Kyoya said, trying not to sound like he was crying and horribly failing.
"Come on Hobi, let's go onward to adventure!" Light yelled.
And thus the shenanigans started.
Kyoya turned to Suga, to see if he wanted to start working. Suga had his eyes closed seemingly asleep. There was a note written in poor Japanese from him saying: Don't bother me. I'm sleeping.
Kyoya grumble loudly, having to be stuck with another 'lazy' student in Sensei Liu's class.
Meanwhile with J-Hope and Light, they were both doing the Touch My Body insane J-Hope version, before promptly dying of laughter.
"Oh shit I forgot I was supposed to do something for some teacher in first year that I've never met so I don't really know why they want me." Light said, suddenly sitting up. "Maybe you can see Jungkook or something."
J-Hope looked very happy about the second part of her statement and nodded quickly.
Sensei Liu didn't look like she cared that Light and J-Hope were leaving at all.
As they walked down the hall J-Hope wondered why Light was so different around specific people. Like, almost personality disorder different.
"It depends on how annoying they are." Light suddenly said, scaring J-Hope slightly.
"How did you know what i was thinki-" J-Hope began to ask.
"Oh look we're here." Light said, interrupting J-Hope.
The two third years opened the door to the room slowly, unsure about what they were going to see. J-Hope never got his answer about how Light knew what he was thinking, so that might be a thing too.
When Light saw what was in the room she sighed in annoyance before promptly yelling, "For fucks sake."